Conventional thought is that women go into a silent litany about their appearance, a slide into self-consciousness, embarrassed that their partner may be critically of how she looks, makes love, sounds she makes, or doesn’t make. While this may be true to some extent, I can’t buy that that’s all that’s going on in her head. So tell us, what are you ladies thinking about when the clothes come off, and love making heats up the sheets?
From Anonymous
That feels good…..I love it when you kiss me and suck my breasts….you’re too rough on the clit….I feel pressure to come…it’s not going to happen……I keep taking your hand and repositioning it or slowing you down, but it doesn’t seem to register….I hope the neighbors downstairs don’t hear my squeaky bed….is he going soft? Ugh, now he’s going to frantically rub up against me trying to get it back. Don’t worry, I love being with you even if all we do is hug and kiss and fondle each other. Let me touch you and suck you. I can bring you off — there you go, just my mouth and hand and you’re back.
I love giving him pleasure. The other night I gave him a hand job and he almost passed out from such an intense orgasm. Me, on the other hand — I never come, with him or anyone. Not sure why — can I not let go? I can bring myself off with a vibrator or my finger. I think he takes it as a personal failure. I’ve come close, and I certainly feel pleasure, but I don’t go over the edge. Haven’t talked about it with him, nor have I had the courage to bring out my vibrator. Oh yeah, sometimes I’ve faked it (with him and others) just to get it over with because it’s gone on so long and I’m sore.
From Smitten Lady
When my louse of a husband is doing his thing: I hope he comes fast so I can go to bed. His breath smells like something died in his mouth a month ago. Does he really think he’s good at this? When I’m with my much younger, very attentive, lover and soul-mate: Why do your kisses make me dizzy? touch me anywhere, everywhwere!
From Ms G
When I’m having sex, I don’t fantasize. I’m more into the guy and what he’s doing, the sounds he’s making and the way he’s touching me. I like watching what the guy is doing to me, it’s like a 3D porno and I’m the star. I can watch it, hear it and FEEL it all at the same time.
From Ischade
I have my ‘short-cut scenerio’ fantasies. These are almost guaranteed to get me warmed up fast. God help him and his lips if I’m thinking ‘beige, we’ll paint the walls beige. . .’ because I will never get there. Once I’m into the fantasy enough that my body is responding well then I turn the brain off and surrender to the physical.
The only problem is some fantasies get used a little too much and then they don’t work any more. (And then I throw them into a book and let other people use them.) And sometimes they start getting a little too detailed and I start thinking which only ruins things. Do I worry about the cat, the dog, and the kids? Yeah, but at some point this is my home, dammit, and if I can’t have an orgasm here where can I?
From Sarah
Oh my lord I am laughing so hard at some of these posts! This is great.Sometimes I have fantasies, like I picture my fiancé and I in another situation, for example cowboy/Wild West saloon kind of thing. Other times I am really into the scene at hand, and these are generally the thoughts: Holy shit, he’s hot. Oohhh that feels good. Ooh god! right there, don’t move! Dammit, I said don’t move!
And I do have to say that I had a boyfriend previously who I always ignored while we had sex… I’m pretty sure he was picturing playboy models while we did it, and I always fantasized about his friends or other guys I knew cause we weren’t that into each other. But he had a big cock so it worked for me for awhile!
From Anonymous
1. Okay, I’ve come twice already, could you hurry up?
2. If I’m covering my breasts, that means you’ve sucked them till they’re blistered already. That shit hurts
3. No, don’t try to kiss me tonight. Be like Nike “Just do it.”
4. It’s midnight and I’m tired. Stroke yourself and go to sleep.
5. Why is it that my legs open when you want it, but I have to set an appointment when I want it? Who is she?
6. Work the clit. That’s right, baby! Right there! Don’t stop!
7. Shit, you stopped!
8. Watch and learn. This is how you should please me.
9. If my ass is to you, that does not give you license to kiss it.
10. Why couldn’t he wait until early morning to do this? I’m tired.
From Gaby
I think I have fat thighs but I remember he said he loves feeling them around his legs. I enjoy knowing his pleasure is increasing, hearing his gasps in my ear. I wonder what my mum would think if she could see me now, especially when he starts to thrust faster.
From Butterfly
Well, aside from the usual, “Oh God, that feels good,” and the “What the hell is he trying to do?”… This is my typical mental monologue:
*Ow! You’re on my hair!
*If he doesn’t quit pinching my nipple, it’s gonna come off!
*Did I remember to put the dog out of the bedroom?
*Can the neighbors hear me?
*He needs to hurry up, I have things to get done.
*Maybe if I fake one, he’ll finish so I can get some sleep.
*various song lyrics (I hate when I get a song stuck in my head.)
*Did we pay the water bill?
*Shit! I forgot to call mom!
Now, I’m not saying my boyfriend is a bad lover. Quite the opposite, he’s wonderful. But after 2 years, there’s not much territory left unexplored. He knows how to push my buttons and in what order. But as far as what’s going on in my head, it’s hard to think about what he’s doing when he’s done the same thing a million times before.
From Miss O
I laughed out loud several times while reading the responses to this subject. What I think about depends on how good the sex is. If it’s not so good I mostly think “when will it be over so I can go to sleep?” or “I told him I don’t like that. Why does he still do it?” But when the sex is good I sometimes lose myself in the sensations and sounds of sex. Sometimes my thoughts are coherent and other times all I can come up with is “Oh my God, oh my God, oh my God!”I fantasise frequently when I’m not having sex, but during sex I get caught up in the act itself and rarely resort to fantasy.
From Jane
At first I usually think about the chores that need doing the next day, how I can best use my lunch hour to go to the cleaners, pick up groceries, and all that mundane jazz. And then arousal kicks in and I close my eyes and let my imagination go crazy wild with shocking scenes of dancing naked while two guys are feeling me up, licking, filling me up. Or serving treats and drinks to the guys playing poker, and playing me every which way because I’m naked wearing a perky feathered butt plug. Or one guy pulling up my skirt, while the other pulls down my panties and sucks my clit while fingering me, pulling my pussy lips. And on it goes till I explode in orgasm. It’s like running a porn show in my head, with me as the star in a script of my choice. Works more often than not.
From Veronica
Upon reading this question my immediate response was, “I don’t think about anything.” But I paid attention last night, and found that was untrue. When we were first kissing and touching, my head was all over the place: I was thinking about work, pets, something mean I had said to my daughter that I should apologize for, and a pile of other stuff. At one point my partner actually asked, “Where are you?” I don’t think I am usually that scattered and inattentive (he doesn’t normally have to comment like that!), but I guess I am pretty disconnected sometimes.
Sometimes I do fantasize during sex if I’m having trouble reaching orgasm; fantasizing about giving oral sex to a woman will usually expedite things, and can push me over the edge if intercourse has been going on a long time but I haven’t been able to climax. My partner knows that I sometimes use this fantasy during sex. If I’m struggling, he will sometimes prompt me into a fantasy, making remarks about how good vulva tastes or asking if I’d like him to bring home a woman next time he comes home so that I can go down on her (he spends a lot of time traveling because of his job). This often precipitates a threesome fantasy. If we’re in the right position, I love licking his neck while I’m fantasizing about licking a woman.
From Selkie:
“Oh god. I wish he’d hurry up so I can get some sleep! I got to get up tomorrow!” I think about lots of relaxing scenes. Waves washing on a beach etc and try not to think about whether I will have an orgasm.
From HornyWoman
Wow, some of you ladies are so tame. I have wild crazy fantasies of being taken and watched by groups of powerful men while I am ‘getting there’. I mean, like an entire NBA team fucking me silly, or jacking off over me, with the fully dressed coach looking on. Or… business men in fussy business attire giving into their most base desires and ganging up on me, one in my mouth, one in my pussy, one in each hand, overwhelmed, and always, always, a serious man or two just watching me, studying. It helps me get me over the top.
From Anonymous
I want it here, not there. Ouch! Why’s he pushing my head up against the wall? I wish I were more into it, I’m not feeling as much as I usually do. He’s really forceful, wish I had a dick to surprise him with in the middle of the night. Oop! We’re not doing it right… I wish I could be a bit thinner, then we could do more acrobatic positions. Whoa! This is absolutely incredible! I wish giving head didn’t have to involve as much hurt. He’s like an animal! Oh no, I have to pee! This isn’t working. He likes this the best, hehehe. Wow, he REALLY likes this! I’m sleepy, just get it over with! We have to finish before 11 or we’ll never get any sleep for tomorrow! Did we chain the door? Can we finish this, please?
From Anonymous
Why isn’t he harder? Not this position again, I can’t feel anything. This is so boring, I hope he comes quickly. I wish he had taken the time to stimulate me first, so I can at least masturbate myself to finish. I wish he would talk dirty. I wish he would fuck me like an animal. Is he ever going to kiss me again? Doesn’t he realize kissing drives me wild?
So there you have it, I bet a lot of married women have these same thoughts and you can bet we have all told our husbands what we want in one way or another, but they don’t listen.
From Galiana Chance
What am I thinking during the act? The range is staggering…
* If the cat knocks over my Diet Coke again, I’m going to make a slipper out of it
* If we weren’t having sex and I made that noise, he would have me committed
* Yes exactly that, right there, and if you ever stop doing that I’ll kill you.
* We should have brushed our teeth first
* I wonder what the thermostat is set to / if we should open the windows tonight / if it’s going to rain
* I hope it’s a big one so I can sleep without dreaming about work again tonight – doh! Don’t think about work! Close your eyes, breathe, focus…
From Michelle
Hehehe this is fun. Here is a sort of stream-of-consciousness, blow-by-blow description of a typical act of sexual intercourse with my fiancé. It depends on the night.
Hmmm . . . that feels nice. But really? This will make it four nights in a row . . . You know, I love him, but sometimes he can be so predictable . . . I bet he wants me to get on top in just another minute or two . . . he knows I get all self-conscious about my boobs when I’m on top . . . I wish this was Friday night . . . I would so like to sleep in tomorrow . . .what a pig! Yes, definitely nice. Good thing we both ate garlic. That does work! Nice. Can he smell my garlic breath? I am SO glad we quit with the condoms, this is sooooo much nicer . . . uh-oh . . . Um . . I DID take my pill this morning, right? I mean, am I positive that I . . . oh, God, this feels good . . . I really do love him . . . I wish that report wasn’t due first thing tomorrow and oh, yes, this feels good . . . it feels so good when he does that . . . God, I love him so much . . .oh, yes . . . oh, God yes . . . . oh, God . . . oh, God . . . oh my GOD, yes, yes, YES!!! Damn this bed . . . it gets squeakier every time. I hope the downstairs neighbors can’t hear! Oops, the wedding . . . I haven’t heard back about whether the restaurant is available for the rehearsal dinner yet, dammit . . . Can’t they return a phone call? Is that too much to ask?
From Alex
It usually goes something like this, a little mental monologue: “Oh, yeah, that’s it, here goes, hold on…shit, what’s that sound? Who cares… okay, getting loud now, getting way too loud, gonna wake the kid, gonna wake the neighbors… That’s better, there ya go, what the hell’s he doing? Oh, okay, that’s nice, very nice, getting too loud again…too loud, way too loud, gonna wake the fucking dead, I don’t care…”
You get the idea. Only in very rare circumstances do I drift into “gotta remember to take out the garbage,” “is that a fly on the ceiling,” that type of thing – those circumstances usually stem from my not being in the mood to begin with.