How many men have a craving to be penetrated, but can’t bring themselves to ask for it? I’m not thinking of gay men here, but straight men. Penetration is, semiotically, so full of meaning in most cultures. It is seen as an act of domination. There is also a perception that to penetrate someone is to feminize them. All this might make it very hard for a man to seek out the experience of being penetrated, for fear of all the implications. Anyone have any experiences on this? — Remittance Girl
From Jonathan (south Africa)
I had no interest in anal sex or being with a man. I then had a massage and the masseur’s fingers went between my ass cheeks and past my anus. To my surprise I started getting an erection and every time his fingers passed thru my cheeks I felt myself arch my back involuntary. This happened a couple of times and then he must of realised that I was enjoying it. He then deliberately paused his finger on my anus and each time I pushed back at it. Finally, I could take no more and eventually asked him to put his finger in me. He was obviously very experienced as he got to my prostrate and massaged it. I had the most intense orgasm ever.
I left there with very mixed emotions and questioned my sexuality. After a few weeks I went back for another massage and continued to go back for more. It took about three months before I could muster up the courage and eventually asked him if he would consider giving me the real thing. He obliged and very cautiously and loving broke my virginity. The feeling of his cock in my arse and the banana shape massaging my prostrate drove me wild. I continue to have my monthly massage and of course look forward to being penetrated by my masseur. Sorry that I missed out for so long.
From Stephen
I got into this a few years ago with this woman I knew from the city. I’d been in a sexless marriage for decades… and moving into a much freer relationship meant the door was wide open. We did lots of things, and she thought exploring some backside fun with me was a great idea. We got into it too. I never had an orgasm from it. I think I’m one of those guys where the penetration kind of blocks some of the spiking possibilities (I read about that in Tristan Taormino‘s book on anal sex), but I liked the feelings a lot. I also got pretty good at doing myself that way.
One last comment, is I’ve read other postings about anal play where the guys feel they just have to say, “And I’m not gay..” I think that’s silly. It’s my body, and what feels good to me, regardless of how it happens, is what feels good to me. A loving woman, who’s into creating pleasure in my body, is not making me into someone else. Lots of guys on guys like to fellate each other. why not? But because my lover also likes to, she doesn’t make me feel gay. She makes me feel great!
From Kevin
Anal Sex for straight men is great. It is not submissive and doesn’t make you gay. As with all sex, with the right person, and at the right time, whether you’re male or female, whether you’re the giver or the receiver, anal sex can be very satisfying. If you have never received anal sex and you would like to try… make some preparation. The anal ring needs to used to stretching to accommodate a penis or dildo – otherwise you are likely to find it very uncomfortable. Buy yourself a small butt plug and get used to wearing it… then buy another, larger, one and get used to that.
Make sure you have a good water based lubricant – never vaseline. Yes, it is wise to be prepared – you don’t want to end up with a mess, so have an anal douche before penetration. The first few times – GO SLOW – whether you’re the giver or receiver. And if the receiver says “stop”, then “STOP”
From Hans
I’ve been enjoying anal sex ever since my girlfriend put beads inside me. When she pulled them out as I came the feeling was like no other. We began to play with larger objects until she put her entire hand in me. I came like never before. The best part is that she got off on it. That’s the key. When your partner enjoys doing it. Since we split it’s been hard to find another woman who’s into it. I did meet someone who loved strapping one on and we have a 18″ double dildo that we both use. It’s a lot of fun. I have found that I like really big things in me. She actually put the entire 18″ in me. I love women doing me but couldn’t ever touch a man. Girls, most men like it. They don’t because they think they are gay. Girls like it, are they gay? Play with your man’s ass.
From Doug
I can not believe how much I love anal sex, my wife pegs me about once a week. I would never want to be with a man—but my wife wearing a harness and dildo drives me insane. When she fucks me it is so intense. I moan—I tell her I love her over and over. When she first enters me—I go insane until she is done. It scares me how much I love it. My ass needs to be filled at least once a week. I think I am addicted to it. At first my ass was a little sore a day or two after—but a good sore. Now it is not sore at all. Guys if you want it from your wives or girlfriends—just ask. I am so happy I asked. Best thing that ever happened to me. And my wife loves doing it to me. She can’t believe how much I love it. I love her.
Doug, you’re so lucky. Being pegged is my strongest, deepest fantasy but my wife won’t use sex toys of any kind. Two of my former lovers, years after we broke up, told me they would have loved to have fucked me with a strap-on. Both enthusiastically fingered and rimmed me, which I love. My wife does the same, but I still wish I could experience what you have. I would definitely crave it the way you do, and react the same–moaning, crying out, begging for more, telling my wife how much I love her. Wow.
From Oxartes
Well, I certainly can’t speak for any straight man other than myself. It’s not the fear of being perceived (by others or myself) as feminized or submissive but it’s the choices one makes about the life one wants to lead & who one wants to lead it with that often obviate the possibility of ever fulfilling a craving or desire to be penetrated. Other desires take precedence over this one and relegate this one so far down on the totem pole of possibility that it’s pushed out of reality into a small, well-concealed, deeply hidden section of our consciousness, where it will never see the light of day and indulged only as an occasional fantasy.
At first my wife found it weird that I wanted her to lick and finger my anus, but she quickly found she enjoyed seeing me lose control, surrendering myself to her. She pretty much attacks me from behind, spanking and biting my buttocks and passionately licking my anus, and even inserting her tongue. She fingers me and rubs my prostate, saying all the naughty things I love to hear, like asking me “Who’s the bitch now?” and telling me how open I am, how she can see right inside my anus. I love being face down and ass up for her, exposed and vulnerable. That is my sexual self-image—how I most want to be with a woman. Because she has an aversion to sex toys, my wife will probably never fulfill my fantasy of being taken by a woman with a strap-on. For now, I content myself with an occasional solo session of anal masturbation with my favorite dildo and a lot of lubricant, pretending a woman is fucking me up the ass.
We were at a resort in Mexico taking a shower. My Wife whom I find insanely erotic.. and had had a couple if glasses of wine, turned me around and stuck Her finger up my ass. I don’t even remember if we had discussed anal sex prior. I reached behind me and fingered Her pussy. She came fast… and hard. That seems to be where it started. From a two way strap on dildo was introduced…. and once. Just one She came like that too. While fucking me. I never have cum from penetration alone. But when She came from taking my ass the second time that was tje naul in my coffin. Even though there’s limited pleasure from the act itself… it’s more than made up for in mental pleasure. And even though the orgasm is from me masturbating.. or getting a reach around. Mentally.. it’s still one of me fave ways to orgasm
First time was in the shower at a resort in Mexico. My Wife had a couple of glasses of wine and the next thing I know She turned me around and slipped Her finger up my ass. I reached behind me and fingered Her pussy. She came much faster than usual, and hard!.
Before long we owned a two way strap on dildo. Once. Just once She came from fucking me with that too. We’ve used various toys since then but I have yet to cum from ass play alone. When I cum it’s from a reach around or masturbating while She fucks me. But damn I cum hard. It’s uniquely satisfying , and humiliating at the same time. It feels good to give up control. It’s not that the act feels physicaly good. But the mental pleasure both durng and after, asily makes up for any short cummings the act itself might have
My first gf was Bi and her brother I found out was fucking her. One day he caught us. Me as a white guy dating his black sister in their folks house no less.
The cost of that secret was giving up my ass. Hurt like hell at first but my God the orgasms I got from it were nind blowing.
What I’d give today to be with a woman that would satisfy my kink regularly