Vanilla Suede
by Valentine Bonnaire
“nobody, not even the rain, has such small hands…”
—e. e. cummings
“Sometimes you just need to be held.”
“What do you mean?”
“It helps, especially when life throws you curve balls.”
“Maybe you’re right.”
“I am.”
“What about the ghosts of the past?”
“Forget ’em.”
“What if I can’t?”
“You have to.”
“I can’t.”
“You have to.”
“Going to that Halloween party tomorrow?”
“I might.”
“What are you going to wear?”
“I thought I might go like the 1920’s.”
“Oh?”
“I saw some shoes.”
“What kind?”
“Vanilla suede, with a tiny strap. My grandmother would have worn shoes like that, while the moon shimmered off the surface of the lake. My grandfather would have taken her in his arms.”
“A different time, I guess.”
“It was.”
“People fell in love.”
“I guess they did.”
“Moonlight Serenade, have you ever heard that?
“I don’t think I have.”
“I’ve got it around here somewhere.”
“It’s beautiful.”
“Want to dance?”
“I’m not sure I know how?”
“You just relax and let me lead.”
“What if I trip you?”
“You won’t.”
“My hand goes here, and yours goes there.”
“That’s nice.”
“Now we’ll just sway a little in place before we start moving”
“Like that?”
“Your hair smells so wonderful.”
“Does it?”
“You always do.”
“What?”
“Smell like that.”
“I’m afraid.”
“Of what?”
“The past and the future.”
“Don’t be.”
“I can’t take any more death.”
“This is the worst decade isn’t it?”
“I think it is.”
“You know what we have to do?”
“No.”
“Try and love.”
“What if it’s not possible?”
“It is.”
“I can’t face it.”
“Put your head on my shoulder.”
“You’re so warm.”
“Am I?”
“Strong. You feel so strong. Stronger than me.”
“Maybe.”
“What did you do after Janine?”
“Rambled.”
“What did you do after Evan?”
“Folded up.”
“You don’t seem folded to me.”
“I don’t?”
“No.”
“Our grandparents. They lived in such a different time.”
“1929.”
“Yes.”
“All those years they were together.”
“Yes, mine too.”
“They knew about love.”
“They did.”
“I’ve made so many mistakes.”
“I feel like that too, at times.”
“Maybe it’s this era we lived.”
“Shhhhh…”
“That feels good, Trent.”
“What?”
“Having your arms around me.”
“Good.”
“You’re warm. It’s like you’re solid.”
“I’m solid. As solid as solid can be, feel.”
“You big silly.”
“Who me?”
“Well I wasn’t expecting a washboard.”
“Yes, you were.”
“No, I wasn’t.”
“Let me hold you?”
“What do you mean?”
“It’s been years since I’ve touched anyone.”
“Trent?”
“It has.”
“It would feel good, Marina.”
“I haven’t since Evan.”
“Janine cut me off at the end.”
“She did?”
“The last ten years. It’s been so long.”
“I can barely remember Evan, Trent.”
“I never thought I could go fifteen years without sex, you know?”
“Me neither.”
“How did we do it?”
“I don’t know.”
“Love’s a funny thing.”
“After marriage?”
“Yeah.”
“Let me put that song back on.”
“Okay.”
“Did you see the moon tonight?”
“No.”
“Give me your hand, let’s go see.”
“Oh, wow.”
“Funny old moon.”
“Ever see the face?”
“Nah.”
“I did once.”
“Really?”
“I’ll never forget it.”
“C’mere.”
“I don’t want to say anything.”
“Me either.”
“What if our lips?”
“Met?”
“I don’t know.”
“Let me make love to you.”
“Trent…”
“I want to.”
“Must be that moon or the song or?”
“It’s you.”
“We’ve always been friends.”
“I know.”
“Oh, Trent.”
“What.”
“If you keep that up I’m going to melt.”
“I love your neck.”
“Oh, God.”
“What did you call me?”
“Oh God, Trent.”
“Oh, Trent.”
“Trent stop that.”
“Trent don’t.”
“Trent.”
“Mmmm, hmmm…”
“Trent we can’t.”
“Ohhhhh.”
“What beautiful breasts you have.”
“Trent somebody might see.”
“So?”
“The moonlight…”
“Yeah?”
“Trent.”
“Take this off.”
“But.”
“Let me help you.”
“C’mere.”
“They’re so beautiful.”
“Ohhhhh…”
“I think we should lie down.”
“On this balcony?”
“I can make a bed with this jacket.”
“Oh, Trent.”
“I just want to hold you.”
“Your lips…”
“Yes?”
“They’re so…”
“Yes?”
“I want you to watch me.”
“It’s too much.”
“No.”
“Watch my lips on your nipples, back and forth.”
“Trent…”
“I think we should take this off too.”
“What if somebody comes up the path?”
“They won’t.”
“God you feel good, Marina.”
“I do?”
“It’s been so long.”
“Trent.”
“I didn’t think I could ever get hard again.”
“Oh my god.”
“Feel this!”
“Wow.”
“It’s you.”
“Oh Trent.”
“Let me.”
“Uhhhhhhh…..”
“Tell me what you need?”
“Just….”
“Like this?”
“Like that.”
“You’re going to quake.”
“I might.”
“I can feel it building.”
“Oh.”
“Like this?”
“Ohhhhhh……”
“Like that?”
“Oh.”
“What if I put him in?”
“Oh…”
“It’s been so long since I felt a woman underneath me.”
“Mmmmmmm.”
“I want you to come first.”
“I might not be able to.”
“You have to.”
“Sometimes I can’t.”
“I’m not taking no for an answer.”
“Oh Trent.”
“How’s that?”
“It’s so big.”
“Are you okay?”
“Yes.”
“I’ll go slow.”
“Hold me.”
“It’s okay if you cry, Marina.”
“I might.”
“It’s okay. I understand.”
“It’s been so long.”
“Mmmmmmmmm…”
“Oh God.”
“Wrap your legs around me.”
‘You know how I want to fuck you?”
“No.”
“Like Moonlight Serenade, Marina.”
“Ohhhhh….”
“Like the Moonlight Serenade neither of us ever had in our marriages.”
“I don’t know what to say.”
“Don’t say anything.”
“Trent…..”
“It feels good doesn’t it?”
“Can I get on top?”
“Let me roll us.”
“Don’t slip out.”
“I won’t.”
“God, your breasts are gorgeous in this moonlight.”
“Kiss me.”
“You’re so wet and so tight.”
“It’s been a long time.”
“Too long.”
“I want to go down on you again.”
“Let me move?”
“We can both…”
“Oh, Trent.”
“Yes?”
“Let me…”
“Oh god, baby.”
“Oh like that…”
“Like that.”
“Oh, oh, oh, stop…”
“What?”
“I might come.”
“And?”
“I want to come inside you.”
“Okay.”
“I thought I’d be rusty.”
“You’re not.”
“I guess it’s like the kind of thing you never forget…”
“Kiss me again.”
“Mmmmmm…”
“What are you doing to me?”
“Nothing.”
“Yes you are, I can feel it.”
“Hold still.”
“Oh my God.”
“It’s kissing you back.”
“I’m rolling us over.”
“Oh, Trent. Don’t stop.”
“I’m trying, baby.”
“Trent, it feels so good holding you.”
“That makes two of us.”
“Look at that moon.”
“Beautiful.”
“I have to stop for a second, don’t move.”
“Okay.”
“I want to see you come.”
“I might not be able to.”
“You have to.”
“Sometimes I can’t.”
“Not with me. You are going to.”
“‘l’ll try.”
“Just watch the moon.”
“C’mere.”
“Oh, Trent…”
“Trent…”
“Trent, Trent….”
“Trent I’m close.”
“Mmmmmmm….”
“Ahhhhhhh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh….”
“Someday we’ll come together.”
“Oh Trent.”
“I’m hard again, feel.”
“You are.”
“Put him in for me.”
“Oh baby.”
“Baby…”
“Baby the way that you…”
“Baby, baby, baby, baby, baby…”
“I’m going to come.”
“It’s okay…”
“Unnnnhhhh, unhhhhh, uhnnnnn…”
“Oh, Trent…”
“I’m coming.”
“Oh, god.”
“Hold me.”
“Like this?”
“Tighter.”
“You’re crying.”
“You are too, a little.”
“Must be the moon.”
“Must be the magic.”
“Must be you.”
“Must be you, Trent.”
“C’mere.”
“I love this.”
“Put your head right here.”
“But Janine was…”
“Forget it.”
“Life can be Heaven or Hell here on earth.”
“I’m so glad we did this.”
“Me too.”
“Your eyes are twinkling.”
“Stars. I saw them for the first time.”
“I did too.”
© 2013 Valentine Bonnaire. All rights reserved. Content may not be copied or used in whole or part without written permission from the author.
Bio: Valentine Bonnaire’s work can be found in the archives at Cleansheets.com and at ERWA in the galleries and Treasure Chest. “Flowering” appears this year in The Mammoth Book of Quick and Dirty Erotica edited by Maxim Jakubowski. Find her @bonnaire