Miss Millicent Carruthers has been giving advice to the readers of “Young Miss” Magazine for over fifty years. Her timeless tidbits of information have assisted thousands upon thousands of young ladies (and a few young gentlemen!) in need, promoting the timeless precepts of virtue, patience, restraint, and temperance, the same precepts which Miss Millicent has herself lived her entire life. Are you young? Confused? Perhaps overwhelmed by the permissive times in which we live? Do you need help coping with the problems of being a young woman in the breakneck speed of this modern age? Then ask Miss Millicent!

Dear Miss Millicent:
Please assist! I have nowhere else to turn! I have been cursed with an ample bosom. It has been difficult enough locating appropriate dresses and brassieres with which to hide my problem, (or should I say, ‘problems?’ ha-ha!) but matters are made worse by the strange behaviours of Bernard, the man who is courting me. Frankly, he won’t stop staring at my chest! When we converse, half the time he won’t look into my eyes, and instead his gaze is drawn to below my neckline. Sometimes, when he does so, I notice his mouth is open as if he is awestruck by the sight. I fear he thinks I suffer from some deformity. He won’t admit that he finds me repulsive, or even that he’s staring at my bosom, but, but I sense his disgust in any case. I do enjoy Bernard’s company, and I want to let him feel that despite my abnormality, I’m just a typical Midwestern girl. Any advice you gave would be so very much appreciated!
Yours in admiration,
Uncomfortable In Dubuque

Dear Uncomfortable:
Bernard’s reaction to your affliction is surprisingly common. I hear there’s a Jewish fellow in Europe who has written extensively about some apparently deep-seeded problems within the psyche related to your situation. Frankly, though, I considered some of the discussions much too salacious to pay much mind.

In any case, Uncomfortable, the solution is simple. Bernard’s puzzling behavior can be attributed to curiosity and some perfectly normal reservations about the degree of the “curse” from which you suffer. I suggest that you allow him to inspect your bosom, of course within the confines of decency and privacy. Once his fears are assuaged that you are in fact as typical as they come, his undue fascination and curiosity should be satisfied, and you will hopefully be able to elevate your relationship with Bernard to the next stage. Good luck!

Josephine decided to put Miss Millicent’s advice to use after the evening with Bernard at the County Fair. He escorted her home and she allowed him into the parlor for a late cup of tea. She made a pretence of going upstairs to inform her mother and her Aunt Pauline that she’d arrived home safely, but after ensuring they were both sound asleep, (the three empty winebottles on the dressing-table confirming that fact), Josephine stole into her own bedroom and she removed her brassiere. After doing so, she re-buttoned the front of her dress and returned to the parlor, where Bernard was waiting. They spent some time discussing some of the sights they’d seen at the county fair, and then Josephine decided the time was right. She took Bernard’s hand and said she wanted to show him something.

“To put your mind at ease,” she said. “Please don’t be too shocked, but I’m doing this because I admire you, and I only want your respect.” She allowed Bernard to brace himself and then she threw open her blouse, allowing Bernard three seconds to gaze upon her naked bosom, and then she closed her blouse.

Bernard’s reaction was immediate. “WOW!”

Josephine’s first reaction was one of horror. She feared she would cry. “What do you mean by that, Bernard?”

Bernard said, “Those are spectacular! Magnificent! Amazing!”

“You don’t find them repulsive?”

Bernard said, “Quite the contrary! I sit in awe!”

Josephine said, “Really, Bernard?” Relief swept over her face.

Bernard said, “Josephine, I’d thought that fifteen-pound butter squash we saw at the fair was impressive, but those…those…” His voice trailed off. “May I see them again?”

“Bernard, I’m not sure…”

Bernard said, “Oh, please, Josephine! Don’t deprive me of another opportunity to gaze upon those…those…wonderful things once more! Please!”

Josephine wondered if Miss Millicent had any advice to give under THIS circumstance, but she didn’t see the harm in another peek. Josephine opened her blouse again. This time, she allowed Bernard to get a good, long look at them.

They were so round, so full, so large. The nipples were also large, and by the expression on Bernard’s face, Josephine realized that she’d been incorrect in assuming Bernard found her bosom repulsive. In fact, she concluded that Bernard LIKED the size of her bust. She also realized that maybe all the other men she’d encountered who had stared at her over the years probably liked them, as well. She allowed herself a smile at the notion that the physical attribute which had set her apart from other women was in fact a POSITIVE thing.

Bernard said, “Josephine, may I touch them? Gently, of course!”

Josephine’s smile waned. She said, “I’m not so sure, Bernard.”

“Please, please, darling Josephine! I promise I won’t do anything you wouldn’t consider appropriate, but if you allowed me to touch them, just a little…”

Josephine mused there wasn’t time to send Miss Millicent another letter and ask her what to do. Josephine reminded herself Miss Millicent’s original advice was to allow Bernard’s curiosity to be satisfied. She sighed and said, “You may touch them.”

Bernard almost convulsed with glee. Tentatively, his fingers caressed the skin of Josephine’s breasts, barely touching them at first. Then, when Josephine didn’t object, he started massaging them and squeezing them. His fingers lightly grazed the flesh of her nipples, and to her amazement, the nipples started to swell. To Josephine’s greater amazement, she was enjoying these sensations. A lot. She found herself wanting Bernard to continue his inspection, in greater detail.

He did so. He started caressing the skin of Josephine’s belly, of her neck, and once he’d pulled the dress off Josephine’s shoulder, he caressed that, as well. He kissed her in those places, and then he kissed her lips, and then her nipples, and Josephine could feel something pressing against her knee. It was something in Bernard’s groin area, and it wasn’t that large a few moments ago.

Bernard said, “Josephine, I feel I’ve been neglecting you just now. You’ve allowed me a great and much-appreciated liberty and I haven’t returned the favor. Is there…some aspect of my own body I can allow you to…examine?”

Josephine’s heart was pounding. Her body felt like it was on fire. She gave no thought to anything other than to give in to the sensations and urges she was feeling. She said, “I can think of one or two places about which I’ve been…curious.”

Bernard stood up and started unbuckling his trousers. Josephine thought it an amazing coincidence that he’d guessed precisely which part of his body about which she wanted to learn more. He said, “It’s not as big as those magnificent breasts of yours, Josephine, but I think you’ll be pleased.”

Josephine saw what Bernard had to reveal, and the sensations and urges she’d been feeling were growing only stronger. “More than pleased, Bernard!” She touched it.

“Oh, Josephine!”

“Oh, Bernard!”
Miss Millicent wants to remind all her readers that, like Uncomfortable In Dubuque, it’s important to keep in mind that young ladies have so many assets that young men might find appealing. By dispelling some of the mystery of certain attributes, it’s likely that young ladies and their suitors can move beyond their reservations, and enhance their relationships to new heights. Until next month, Miss Millicent says, “Adieu!”

© 2010 J.T. Benjamin. All rights reserved. Content may not be copied or used in whole or part without written permission from the author.