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Younger / Older Relationships: It’s complicated… or is it?

Relationships with age disparity are frequently mocked with snickering remarks. Often wealth and physical attractiveness are seen as more relevant then love. Sexually, it’s noted that older people tend to have lower sex drives, and younger people tend to be sexually inexperienced. But, what is the reality? Do you have experience with younger/older relationships, and if so what is the reality—the good, bad, and ugly?

Men reach their sexual peak at eighteen. Women reach theirs at thirty-five. Do you get the feeling that God is playing a practical joke? —Rita Rudner


  1. Comment Import

    From Jack
    I was not quite 18 years old when I had an affair with a co worker who was 21 years older than me and could put most 20 year old women to shame in the looks department. She was married and would not leave her husband so after 2 years,she broke it off. I still dream of her after 14 years! I am sure that is the reason that I am only interested in much older women. GOD, I miss her!

  2. Comment Import

    From Steve
    I met my first wife at work. She was 42 and I was a not very experienced 26. I helped her move to the beach and when I was done I did not leave. She proceeded to be the best lover I ever had. She knew how to please a man. She knew how to tell a man what she liked. She had oral skills that I have never seen since.

    Our problem was her daughter who was only 7 years younger than I. Moved in with us as she was getting a divorce. Caused our sex to decrease and things like having to be quiet in bed during sex and not being able to walk around naked or in my underwear in MY house pissed me off as I was very young and stubborn. We got divorced when she was 48 and I was 32. I miss her to this day. I got married again to a woman 3 years older than I. Sex wasn’t 1/2 as good.

    I settled and my advice to anyone would be NEVER settle. It was only 6 years, but the best 6 of my life.

  3. Comment Import

    From Around The Bend
    When I was 22 I got involved with a woman 44. She was wonderful, she was fantastic in bed and to me in every way. She also had a kid about 18 months younger than I living with her and everytime I selpt over, I kept fantasizing about the two of them. I wanted kids and I was falling in love with the daughter. One night in bed I called her by her daughters name as we were making love. That was pretty much the end of it. If we were closer in age, it might have worked out. No, I never did it with the daughter. I loved her mom too much. It was just a bad situation to be in.

    Think twice. I would fuck an older woman and have since I was forty. They are the best lovers. I just don’t want a mom.

  4. Comment Import

    From Anonymous
    Don’t! Do not go with a younger guy! I’m now 33 and she’s 40. She’s beautiful, and still looks great. But she wants marriage, she wants children and she feels time is going by – she fears it’s too late, more and more… But I’m not ready to marry her – but please don’t say that I’m not ready because I don’t love her. I love her, but… It’s early, my job, my career – I cannot marry now later yes – but she says she has no time!

  5. Comment Import

    From Ruby Red
    An older man takes great delight in making his woman satisfied emotionally and sexually, my lover is 64 and we can go 12 hours at a time. When you are younger it’s about fuck ’em and leave ’em, then making babies, then experimenting with your sexuality and then getting divorced and going through the change and finding a man that can truly make love, satisfying every need you have and fulfilling your desires without question. I cannot imagine having a toyboy 14 years younger, dragging him back from the pub to do that, oh and not forgetting maybe interrupting the football match too!

  6. Comment Import

    From June
    Younger men fear rejection by females their own age. They reckon an older woman will not be so quick to rush to judgement or rejection. So, the more relevant question is – ‘are older women easy?’ I will own up, I probably am. I’m 52 this year and while I have my looks and figure (and sex drive) if the guy is good looking, great company and non-threatening, I will probably go to bed with him on a first date.

  7. Comment Import

    From Jim The Younge
    I had an intense experience with a woman 12 years my senior. She was lovely, charming, sexy, smart – every thing I ever wanted in a woman. Except that she had young children (I wasn’t ready for kids, especially not my own), and I was always aware of her age (not in a good or a bad way, just aware of it in a general way) and it seemed that our relationship centered around sex, and that simply wasn’t enough. As much as I loved to be with her, I felt uncomfortable at the same time. It didn’t work out, and ended badly. I wasn’t strong enough to be honest, left her in limbo and that hurt her. For that I’ll always be sorry.

  8. Comment Import

    From Mary
    Amazing that no one has mentioned the issue that is surely foremost in younger/older long term commitments. So your guy is 15 or so years younger, that means when you’re 65 and those wrinkles and aging issues start creeping up, your guy is 50 and in his prime. Uh oh, it’s hard enough growing older, but standing next to a younger man looking oh so fabulous, it does make it difficult to feel self-confident and attractive when you’re looking like his mother rather then his lover or wife. A fling with a younger guy – sure, why not. But a long term commitment, better think long and hard about that.

  9. Comment Import

    From Jane
    In porn, we hear a lot about MILF (Mothers I’d Love to Fuck), and Cougars (older women staking young men). But there’s little about older men and young women, and too often it borders illegal lines of child porn – old men lusting after pre-teens. However, in real life, it’s the experienced older men that rocks, sexual and financially. I’m dating a man 20 years my senior. He thinks I’m wonderful, he treats me like a goddess, he’s financial secure, and sexually he pays more attention to my sexual satisfaction than to his dick. What more could a women want?

  10. Comment Import

    From Richard
    An older woman excites me to no end. They’re easy, often feel greatful for a younger man’s attention, and willing to show appreciation in a sexual manner. I know that sounds insulting and exploitive, but damn me if it isn’t true. Show an older woman some attention, flirt, make her feel charming and attractive, and you’ve got yourself a hot time in bed. Blame it on our society which makes an older women feel unattractive – they have to hid the gray, cream to death the wrinkles, and so on. Along comes a flirty young man looking for sex, and knows how to play an older women, and bam, there you go—you’re in like flint with a women who wants to prove she’s still a good lay, and often is.

  11. Comment Import

    From Anonymous
    I’m 22 yrs old and my husband is 44. In spite of the age difference I enjoy having sex with him. He never lets me wear bra when at home. He loves to see my nipples pointing out ready to be sucked. He loves watching me skip topless. We have sex at least 2 times a day. I’m glad that my husband has satisfied my sexually.

  12. Comment Import

    From Rose
    Is this an ego issue? Of course. In this youth-and-beauty-obsessed culture, women in their fifties are generally considered to be dried up has-beens. The post-menopausal are seen as undesirable for any number of reasons. Being considered undesirable doesn’t stop a woman from having desires, however. And if someone, young hunk or not, considers her desirable, the boost to the ego is beyond description. Suddenly, she’s eighteen again and she feels beautiful. (Throw in love on top of that and you probably have the most powerful force on earth.)

    What sort of woman would want to do this, you ask? Well, how about a living one? By which I mean there is no “sort.” The only restrictions would be the ones she places on herself because of her own personal socio-cultural and/or religious code. As for what she’s looking for, well she could be looking for any number of things. A really terrific fuck perhaps, or physical intimacy (and I’m not just talking about sex; I’m talking about touching, just plain touching). She might be looking to feel alive again. Once you get to a certain age, you face the fact that there are more years behind you than ahead, and you just want to do all the living you can before it’s over.

  13. Comment Import

    From Anonymous
    I am 48 now I met my partner 5 years ago, she is now 23yrs. When we first met there was some carry on and everyone was wondering. We are serious I have not been happier. When we met she pulled all the strings and was the instigator. I am happy now, at first I thought this was one of those fantasy girls and she was grave digging, it turns out I am not the cradle snatcher after all. Our families accept us and my children middle teens enjoy her company. More in common music and computers. I am happy all the time, she is mature beyond her years and is a great home body.

    Our sex life has always been great, when we first met it was unreal. I couldn’t quite believe I had actually gone out with someone 25 yrs my junior. She had just finished high school and was starting university the next year. I had a brief doubt when I had to go to her 21st with all her friends but they all liked me and had later insisted I wasn’t as old as I said. I am sexually active and have a great sex life with her.

  14. Comment Import

    From Anonymous
    Why would an older woman want to seduce a younger man? I’m surprised that question is even being asked. Younger men are in their sexual prime and appreciate older women simply because older women are not “silly.” We know what we want and that’s not whether they have a car to take us to the Mall. We have our own car, our own homes, our careers, etc. We aren’t hung up on, “will you love me tomorrow?”

    Some men my age have erectile dysfunction, a bad attitude about women their age, pot bellyies, high blood pressure, poor hygiene, and the list could go on. They are the ones who want a young, stick thin girl! I’m just stating facts folks, based on my experiences. I have seduced two younger men and the sex was incredible and they were sooo appreciative. One when I was 33 and he was 21 and the latest, he’s 23. He’s got a beautiful body and an open mind.

  15. Comment Import

    From Ken
    My first sexual experience was with a woman 9 years older than I. This woman taught me many things. My first experience started when myself and two other friends decided to stay at another friend’s house for the weekend, his parents had gone away. The only stipulation, his married, older sister would be there to make sure nothing out of the ordinary happened. We were all pleasently surprised when the very first evening she informed us that she was going to teach us the fine art of strip poker. The game lasted until all had lost their clothes by then it was after one in the morning. We all gathered our belonging and went to separate bedrooms to sleep. I had showered, and masturbated and lay on top of the sheets on that summer night, thinking about the sister and her adventurous spirit.

    That’s when I heard the door open. It was quietly closed and locked. I glanced at the shadow by the door, it was the sister and I lay still on my stomach, my legs spread apart wondering what would happen next. That’s when I felt her crawl onto the bed and up between my legs. And that’s when I felt for the first time a woman’s tongue explore me. As I said before, she taught me many things and many ways that I have carried into my adult years. One of the best…multiple orgasms by both parties can bring you to enjoy a beautiful sunrise yes, the experience of an older partner can be very rewarding.

  16. Comment Import

    From Eric
    A few years ago I was the younger man involved with an older woman. I was 19, she was 32. We each pursued the other. This pairing was not planned. We were not trying to be “hip”. It simply was two people who shared much in common, shared similar views on life, and happened to be extremely physically attracted to each other. We did not allow a minor issue such as age get in the way.

    People sometimes make assumptions about relationships such as ours. ” It’s about money”. Nope. We were BOTH broke at the time. I always paid on dates, and never asked for any monetary assistance. “It’s about sex”. Well, mostly no. I’ll admit, the sex part of our relationship was off the hook! She had no inhibitions, loved to fuck anytime, any place , and was extremely generous when it came to complimenting me in regards to my body and my sexual ability. She made me feel like a regular “Don Juan”. Is that so wrong? Believe me, I more than returned the favor in that regard. She was out of sight in between the sheets.

    I just find older women more attractive for various reasons. I’m currently involved with a girl of similar age, but I definitely would date an older woman again based on past experience.

  17. Comment Import

    From Dangerous Bill
    Why would an older woman seduce a younger man? Let me reword that for you: Why wouldn’t an older woman want a young, virile, muscular man with hair who doesn’t need Viagra and who is more likely to adapt himself to her needs? A lot of older men come with pot bellies (blush), wrinkles, stodgy attitudes, a TV habit, no hair, and limp noodles. Women, on the other hand, are more likely to keep their weight down, exercise, read Cosmo and other sex manuals, and mix socially. Some hormone replacement therapies turn middle aged women into sex machines (ask my wife the Warrior Queen).

    Plus, there are more widows than widowers as time goes on. In Green Valley, a senior development near Tucson, the over-fifty women are renowned for participating in obsessive exercising, dieting, belly dance lessons, and all those other good things, as part of the fierce competition for the relatively small number of available men.

    I know that all the way from pubescent youth to my current geezer-hood, I’ve appreciated women of all ages. In fact, women from their forties on up are vastly more interesting and experienced than bubbly teenagers or career-bound twenties.

  18. Comment Import

    From Tim
    My first blowjob was by a woman probably 20 years older than me. I was 16 at the time, my mom wasn’t home and her friend came over to swim in our pool. I always though she was very sexy and she always flirted with me when my mom wasn’t watching. She wore very revealing swimsuits and I couldn’t help but get an erection. I saw her glancing at my bulge and she came over and laid down beside me and started rubbing it. One thing lead to another and she took care of the situation. I was in HEAVEN! She made it perfectly clear that it was our secret and I never told anyone until now.

    I had sex with her only a few times and she had to move for her job. I lived every boy’s fantasy with her and I think about her often. I think the encounters with her strengenthen my confidence with women and I really think its a good thing for most boys if they have similar experiences.

  19. Comment Import

    From Anonymous
    At the moment I’m dating a guy 17 years younger than me. Did I have to seduce him? No way! He was the one who chased me and didn’t want to give up. He’s not ugly, he’s not a geek (well, a little, in a very sweet cute way), actually he’s so good looking he takes my breath away. His body is a divine work of art. If you ask him why he is with me, he’ll just laugh. He’s used to these questions and doesn’t give a s*it, though we look really good together and no eyebrows are raised. The chemistry is so evident it can’t be hidden. Just know, not every woman in her forties is a fat slob who sits home all day. Many are cool, sexy, intelligent, amazing women.

  20. sayre

    im a 31 year old female. when i was 19 i was with 52 female. best sex of my life, love of my life. I also dated a 21 year old when i was 14. Ive always dated older. My ex partner was 11 years older


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