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The Daily Grind

Why Do People Cheat?

Is the grass really greener?

“I have been cheated on, time and time again. See, I think they just get bored or something of that sort, because even now mine has been caught trying to do more than window shop.” —Anonymous.

So why do people cheat? Possibly one partner isn’t enough, perhaps people get bored, maybe ‘the grass is greener’ is hard to resist. Tell us about your experiences—the good, the bad, and the ugly.


  1. Comment Import

    From Anonymous
    Why? Because if both parties don’t make an effort on your relationship every day from a friend standpoint and sexual standpoint you lose interest. Once you no longer try to make the other person as important as they were when you first met the interest disappears and it no longer becomes worth the effort.

    My spouse has too many interests before us. Once all of the other things that need to be done are complete there is no longer any energy, let alone effort, for us.

    I’m in a relationship where energy and time for us is so far down the list that I don’t even try any more. Once the children are older I am gone and will look for someone that is willing to work on the relationship than tell me, ” It is what it is!”

  2. Comment Import

    From Mary
    I think that the novelty and thrill of a new lover or sensation makes cheatin tempting. My husband knew of my fantasy to be with a woman. He also knew that he could not compete with a woman. I knew that if the right woman appeared that I might cheat. I think he noticed the slight flirting between myself and the wife of his good friend.

    To make a long story short he steered us all into our current situation. 0nce every few months we have a play night or weekend away with this couple. We women play to our hearts content whith each other in front of our husbands and then have sex with our own spouses in the same room. We usually don’t swap partners but I managed to fullfill my double penetration fantasy as well! No cheating and every one is thrilled. Our sex life gets a boost and the temptation to cheat is gone.

  3. Comment Import

    From A Wife
    Jm, you’re kidding – right? Of course you cheated. [see Jm’s entry below] Suppose your wife masturbated with 2 of her co-workers, what would you call that — a stress reliever? Geez. How about this: Ask your wife if she thinks you cheated.

  4. Comment Import

    From Jm
    Do you think I cheated? I was on a business trip down South with several female co-workers. Every day was very stressful, so we would have a few drinks each evening. One night we drank way to much and started talking about the best stress reliever there was, sex. The 3 of us discovered that we were all practicing masturbationseveral times per day to deal with stress. Then we started discussing how we masturbated, well one thing led to another and soon we were all naked, each of us masturabating ourselves and watching the other 2. We all came several times – no one touched anyone’s but themselves, so I am not sure I cheated on my wife?

    • Cherry

      It’s cheating if you haven’t shared with your wife. There doesn’t have to be any physical contact to cheat. Texts can be intimate and I view it as cheating, emotional cheating

  5. Comment Import

    From Wicked1
    I have grown tired of only getting the feel of a vibrator inside me because he has a porn addiction. He can get hard as a rock watching it but hours later when he decides he wants to get off, he goes limp as soon as he tries to get it in. Pretty obvious which one he wants. A very very silly boy if he thinks I will keep doing this and not go elsewhere for a stiff one!

  6. Comment Import

    From Anonymous
    It had been months and in spite of all my efforts my hubby would not even look at me. One morning after hubby went to work his best friend stopped by. I had a headache and he offered up a neck massage – well neck massage led to back massage. Then he says back massage is better without a shirt’. Well pretty soon I was naked and he was giving me the best massage ever. Well we spent all day making love’ and when he left I could hardly walk. I had no guilt at all, and if hubby cut me off again I will be giving his best friend a call for a neck massage.

  7. Comment Import

    From Sue
    Don’t stop there, Vi. [see Vi’s entry below]. The same must be said for men: when sex becomes infrequent it’s not always her fault, he need to take responsability for keeping their sex life exciting also, and stop using it to justify cheating.

    Wife can also get tired of boring sex life with a lack-luster lover. If husband makes his wife feel like she is the sexiest most desireable lover in the worlk (even it it’s not so)m and add spice into sex any and every way he can – he will be pleasantly surprised.

    Wake up husbands of the world, and you will be amazed at how responsive a good lover can create an enthusiastic lover our of his wife. Of course there are those kinds of husbands who think (in their own minds) that they are the great lover, and all the blame for boring sex life is his wife’s fault. My advice about those kinds is to throw them away.

  8. Comment Import

    From Vi
    I have a feeling I’m going to have stones thrown at me for what I am about to say. If a man cheats on his wife I feel it is her fault. A wife has to keep it exciting for her husband. It’s when the sex becomes infrequent or just routine that hubby starts fantasizing about getting it elsewhere.

    If making it interesting means you take your hubby down to the computer and look at porn sites then so be it. Or during sex the wife makes up some sort of threesome story to get her hubby all hot then so be it too. You have to make your husband feel like he’s the sexiest most desirable lover in the world (even if its not so). Dress up in sexy outfits not the old jogging suit you’ve had for 10 years. Add spice into sex any and every way u can.

    Wake up wives of the world and you will keep your man from straying. Of course there are those kinds of husbands that will have sex with everyone not nailed down no matter what you do and my advice about those kinds is to throw them away.

  9. Comment Import

    From Simply
    My opinion. People cheat because they are not getting what they need in the person they are with. My philosophy is for women and men if want to keep your significant other happy constantly remind yourself that – “what you won’t do another “b” will.” I believe you keep your spouse always saying WOW they won’t want to risk someone else getting it. Women you can’t be bitchy, a nag, boring, let yourself go physically and out the goodies and think your man won’t go elsewhere. You can be all those things if you are leaving him breathless in the bedroom. After each session if he is saying that is the best pussy in the world you know you hold the key.

  10. Comment Import

    From Syracuse, New York
    I was faithful to my husband for twenty years. I started working at a new place. My boss and I spent hours and hours together. Working with someone and seeing them at their best is an incredible turn on. We starting flirting with each other and I enjoyed the attention. We were by ourselves late and we kissed each other. We have been fooling around for over a year now. I still care for my husband and would never do anything to rip my family apart. However, my lover makes me feel wanted. It is nice to have someone who aches to touch me and tears my clothes off. I do things with him that I would never try with my husband. And to top it off, we work together better now because we now each other so well.

  11. Comment Import

    From Anonymous
    I’m a woman in a relationship and have been carrying on an email flirtation with a married man – he says he’s done this before and I know it’s just a matter of time before we consummate this in reality. The truth is, I’m dying for some variety, and I know he is. The thrill of something new, of the possibility of an amazing fuck, the butterflies, the racing heartbeat. Screw the consequences- I want to see what it feels like, just that simple. It’s not just the man’s fault- there would be a lot less cheaters if women didn’t want to fuck married and taken men so badly- and yet we do!

  12. Comment Import

    From Debbie
    After 15 years of marriage and a great sex life, my husband just stopped wanting sex. At first if I begged he would do his duty, but not very well. Then he stopped – after 6 months of taking care of business myself, we went for drinks after work. I did not want to cheat, but after a few drinks and some slow dancing, he had me. He was smaller than my husband, and came a lot faster, but he took the time to take care of my needs. This went on for 3 months almost daily – then one day my old husband was back. I stopped seeing my lover the day my husband was back.

    I think my husband knew what I was doing, but he never said anything as he had no interest in me, so I did what I had to do. If he cut me off again for that long, I would do the same thing again. Both girls and guys have the right to be looked after in the bedroom, if your partner will not do it, there is nothing wrong with shopping around.

  13. Comment Import

    From Helen
    I had an affair a few years ago with a man I meet on a business trip. I was a virgin when I married and had started to think about having other men’s cocks. I wanted to feel a longer or larger cock than my husband’s since I enjoy the different size dildos we have. But I also want the feedback from a man as I hear him moan as he is about to come, or the watch his face as I suck on his cock.

  14. Comment Import

    From Anonymous
    I can’t speak for all men that cheat, of course, but I have cheated a couple of times in my married life and the primary reason was the woman’s encouragement to do so. That, by and large, is the main reason I would ever cheat – the woman wanted to have sex, plain and simple. It’s a man’s biology that would cause us to cheat when the woman encourages it. It is the biology of the male species to respond to the female’s need… which is stronger (at times) than any moral logic or what-have-you.

    By the way, I had to tell my wife that I cheated. For her to find out any other way would not be acceptable. Surprisingly, she accepted it because she knew the circumstances and appreciated my honesty in ‘confessing’ to her… good woman and one that I appreciate.

  15. Comment Import

    From Joe
    All primates, us included, will try to make sure their genes are passed on. At least we humans do not go so far as to kill the offspring of our rivals (or at least not normally). Why do people “cheat”? Because it is hard wired in to do so. The virtuous stay “faithful” to an impossible ideal. The rest of us go out and fuck like the baboons we really are.

  16. Comment Import

    From Joe
    My girlfriend cheated on me last week, I found out because I went to her apartment and was just about to knock on the door when I heard her moaning, so I went outside and peeked in her window and saw some guy on top of her on the couch, she had her legs up on his shoulders and he was just plowing away at her. He had a huge penis, long and really thick, at least twice as big as mine. He didn’t even have a condom on and we have always used one, we have been together two years now. They did it for about 20 more minutes then he came in her. I haven’t told her I know she is cheating but just watching them I could see how much better sex with him must be, I know he stretched her a lot, the next day she only wanted oral and she told me to suck it gently so I know he hurt her.

  17. Comment Import

    From Don
    Reading the stories on cheating they seem to fault the men. It takes TWO TO TANGO. I was the head of a sports club, small thing, but I was approached often and I did not take all the opportunities. Also I sold houses and was approached there to. My wife did not care much for sex and I had to really work to sell it to her. I just got tired doing it that way when there were sexy women ready and willing. I even had an Irish Catholic 33 yr old woman present me with her virginity. We had a relationship for over 10 years.

    I met a young mistress of a business tycoon in London on the Underground, went to see a London show and ended up in her paid for apartment in the Park Lane area. Went back to London three different trips. That covered 11 years. Each was an adventure and they are still my friends. I told them I was married and maybe that was what they liked. A couple of them were in the 30s+ with children, divorced and had never had an orgasm. I corrected that. One took me in her dead mother’s house on her bed and while she had her period. I am now past retirement and not a stud muffin anymore. I just listened, fondled their feelings, and ego. I’m bad but it has been fun.

  18. Comment Import

    From Anonymous
    I am a woman who is involved with a married older man. We respect each other, have great sex, there’s thrill of hunt, adrenalin of risk…you name it! That taught me a lot about life, myself, men, cheating, human nature….We all need attention! If somebody doesn’t appreciate us any more (or for whatever reason his/her appreciation is not exciting any more) we immediately turn to another. It is so easy to find another human being who is in the same boat as you!

    None of us take the time to understand the spouse at home…We become critical, bitter…Moreover, life is hard! Rather than dealing with the reality, human nature escapes from it…I am sure that I cannot be monogamous and do it the hard way, when there is an easier way to live this life…The same goes for men and women alike…Period.

  19. Comment Import

    From Michelle
    I love sex with my husband, can’t get enough of him. That is, as long as I can trust him, and as long as I know I’m the only woman in the world to him and his best friend. After all, that’s how he made me feel in the beginning and we promised each other those things when we got married. But you take those things away and leave me with self doubt and a broken heart…well, I’m not feeling very sexy at all. So hurt me once, and hurt me again for not giving it up to someone who doesn’t care for me? That’s just not right.

    I think you should have to get a degree before you can get married. People who cheat are just cowards, really. Why not be free to peruse your desires? And why not free your partner to find true happiness elsewhere? Or an open marriage even. But talk about it, be adult enough to be honest about what you’re feeling.

  20. Comment Import

    From Camber
    I have been married for 12 years and love my husband to death, he is a wonderful husband and terrific father. However, after 12 years, sex and making love has become so vanilla…oral on him, oral on me and then maybe one or two different positions. After he is finished up in me, he kisses me and is off to bed, leaving me to finish off myself.

    I have never set off to find an affair or a quick fuck, however the last few years I have been going on “girl” trips with my closest girl friends. And after many times of being hit on and such, I and so did my other friends began to give in and have some fun with other guys. There is just something fun and exciting to be with a man you have never been with. I have had some amazing times with other men. I will never have a long time affair, but the weekend quickie works well for me after years of the same thing over and over.

    So why do I cheat…for something new, more foreplay and different positions. I do it for me.


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