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Oral Sex for Her: Cunnilingus

Talking with your tongue

If you would be so kind — for some of the less experienced pussy eater wannabes — could you give us some serious tips and techniques on oral sex? I have read numerous how-to manuals, and not much detail emerges. We need the mouth of champions to speak and weigh in on this issue of cunnilingus. Could we please have your input? —Johnny Tender

52 Comments

  1. Comment Import

    From Anonymous
    When I was married, I hated oral sex, because my ex wasn’t gentle and never complimentary. So now I’m with a new guy. One morning he started coffee and came back to bed under the sheets at my feet and went right for my clit. Before I had a chance to recoil from old memories, his tongue was at work all around. The ideal moves, the perfect pressure. Wow is an understatement. Now I want cunnilingus every time. Another day, I knelt over his face and lowered myself down. He described it as watching a beautiful rose opening up for him. That made me really wet. After circling my hips on him, his chin and cheeks were glistening. He told me he had only heard of a wet face but hadn’t gotten one until now. My heart pounds thinking of more…

    Reply
  2. Comment Import

    From Kendra
    I am close to 40 years old and have never had an orgasm by intercourse. However, when given oral sex, I have quite intense orgasms. I love the younger guys because they want to please me and are usually very good at giving me the most wonderful orgasms. I’m quite sure that men can always please women this way, with cunnilingus.

    Reply
  3. Comment Import

    From David
    I’m a guy that absolutely LOVES performing oral sex. Yes I love the taste and smell but, as one poster suggested, it’s more than that. Not a lot of women orgasm from only intercourse unless they add some clitoral stimulation. So part of my love of going down on a woman is that I know she will have an orgasm. As one person commented it’s also about the control I have. The woman is laying there vulnerable, exposed, and at my mercy. If I stop the woman will beg for more, if I want to prolong things I know to avoid the clit until I’m ready for her to orgasm, and if I want her to orgasm again and again I’ve got that control by simply using my mouth. Don’t get me wrong though because, for me, it’s more than the control issue it’s that I love a woman who will expose themselves like that so they too have a lot of power.

    The key to good oral though is that the guy must listen. Women don’t be afraid to talk to your man and tell him what feels good. Guys if she’s not talking to you about what she likes then ask her. Some women like to be licked lightly while some enjoy it rough. Some like direct stimulation of the clit some are too sensitive. Once you find that rhythm though that she likes and she’s grinding herself against your face because she’s so into it, there’s nothing like it. And when she orgasms and your face becomes slick from her wetness, there’s nothing better.

    Reply
    • Geaux geaux

      I think I need you

      Reply
  4. Comment Import

    From Mansa
    I would love to have my husband perform oral on me. He tried but he freaked out while giving it. Learned later that he had claustrophobia. Smell and taste was not an issue here since I always cleaned myself well before we tried although he did not. I also felt he was reluctant to do it though he enjoyed immensely when I did him voluntarily or on demand/request.

    I would like to know from men why they are so reluctant to please a woman when they like her to please them. Sex is always about give & take, not just take. No wonder many women prefer to stay single now. At least they are free to mingle with anyone who cares to please them. A happy woman always will return favors to her man.

    Reply
    • Anonymous

      I cant understand this at all. I would much rather please a women orally. If they reciprocate later Fine. I don’t ask for it or expect it. Oral on a women is the wonderful aspect of intimacy ever.

      Reply
    • SN

      I could have my face buried in pussy for hours. My wife can only take so much though once she comes she can’t carry on with oral and has to have cock I could happily continue licking her pussy getting more and more juice on my face but the advantage is that when she has cum with oral it makes her pussy so tight it blows her mind when I get inside her she squeals and goes wild

      Reply
  5. Comment Import

    From Anonymous
    I want a man that loves to eat pussy, but they sure are hard to find. I want him to finger fuck my pussy and ass hard while sucking and massaging my clit. All the while, I want him to talk really dirty to me. Tell me how much he enjoys my taste and smell and how hard I am making his cock. Get me really wet and threaten to fuck me in the ass if I don’t come and then do it anyway.

    I also want to eat another woman’s pussy while my pussy is being sucked and while I am being fucked. Do you exist? I often think I need a man that’s been in prison for awhile, so he appreciates a good pussy and wants to literally sleep between my legs. Where are you Mr Right? Do you exist? Bring your wife or girlfriend along to play.

    Reply
    • Harry

      Yes

      Reply
    • John

      I’m your man!

      Reply
  6. Comment Import

    From Anon
    Guys, first make sure both of you are in a comfortable position. It might take her a while to come. I prefer kneeling beside the bed with her hips and pussy right there at the edge of the bed. Build up by licking her thighs and bush first, to tease her. Try different tongue strokes on her clit, various directions, varying pressures – she will let you know what feels best. Also, don’t forget her vaginal opening. Some women want you to lick around it and probe it with the tip of your tongue or with your fingers. Some might like something similar around her anus, too. And when she moans or pushes against your mouth, keep doing whatever you’re doing. If you give her great oral, she’ll be yours forever!

    Reply
  7. Comment Import

    From Mr. Eatemright
    So let me get this straight…your boyfriend says giving oral is disgusting, but he enjoys getting head. Poor Umbreon, your bf is out of his mind and perhaps you are also for staying with such a selfish man. I suspect if he’s so onesided about oral sex, he’s probably selfish about other things also. Ditch him and get yourself a good man. [see Umbreon’s entry below]

    Reply
  8. Comment Import

    From Umbreon
    I don’t like the thought of oral on me. My bf told me that he would never do it and that it’s disgusting and that totally killed my confidence about it. Now I just think it’s oral sex on a girl is just plain nasty. I don’t want it ever. I’m happy to perform oral on a guy though, I like it and my bf really enjoys it too.

    Reply
  9. Comment Import

    From Micky
    I find that licking my wife’s pussy turns me on almost as much as it does her. Sometimes I go down on her just to help get her wet and a little more turned on before having sex and other times I keep going until I take her over the edge. I think her orgasms are more intense with my tongue than my cock.

    Reply
  10. Comment Import

    From Susan
    One of the reasons I married my husband was because of his “pussy eating” ability. The first time we had oral sex I came so often I thought my heart would give out. This is one of the things he loves to do for me. Once he starts down on me with that tongue of his, I’m know I’m in for it. That tongue just sets me over the edge. His tongue in my pussy and a well lubed finger in my ass, and I’m gone. I come so fast and so hard. I’ve even hypervenilated a few times. I love that tongue so much I even wrote him a poem about it for a Valentine’s gift. He travels a lot, so whenever he reads the poem, he thinks of me, knowing I miss him as much as I miss his tongue.

    Reply
  11. Comment Import

    From Nick
    Can I make a plea? It may sound like male chauvinism but I dig ladies who completely shave their pussies. I love cunnilingus, always have done, but not when the pussy is lost somewhere in a forest of thick pubic hair that gets in teeth, on the tongue, at the back of the throat choking me to death!My wife has kept her pussy fully shaven since just after we got married in mid 80s and says her enjoyment is a thousand times better than when she didn’t shave. I am able to kiss, lick, suck inside and outside her pussy and please her a lot longer than those awful old hairy days and I’ve managed to give her orgasms on a number of occasions thanks to my uninterrupted appreciation of her pussy.She says it’s fun to check the look of surprise on another guy’s face, sucking her through panties to start with, then removing them to find her fully shaven, a sight they obviously don’t expect that is both sexy and exciting! From experience I know that my wife’s fully shaven pussy mode is not common. So, why are ladies loathed to shave?

    [Editor’s Note: Nick, check out the entries in To Shave or Not to Shave… for a variety of opinions about shaving.]

    Reply
  12. Comment Import

    From Anonymous
    I feel wet just reading these entries….I’m on my own now for a few years and quite horny. I’m not interested in a fuck, but a genuine sex blast that includes skilled pussy eating…I love to have my pussy eaten, licked and sucked on. Many times when I use my vibrator, I fantasize that person tonguing me to the highest heights, I shake all over when I feel the tongue lapping up my juices…btw, I love sucking dick, but not while the person is eating me, I want to savor it and then gobble up the cock

    Reply
  13. Comment Import

    From Susan
    Roberto, [see Roberto’s entry below] there is a double standard here, that you need to realize—and I suspect you already have a good understand of such things. As recent as the late 90’s, many young women were very much aware of the fact that saying ‘yes, I love oral sex, first date, last date, so what – just do me!!” would result in a derogatory ‘slut’ label, and possible the end of a solid relationship with a ‘good’ guy. Or, alas, there goes her reputation, period. (honestly, just think of your high school days, or small town USA.), And, most unfortunate, there’s goes her opportunity for good sex.

    The problem is asking before the issue has arisen – so to speak. Rather then ask about the possibilities of oral sex before sex has even become an issue, is deadly. Meaning, you’ll get a false answer – you’ll get something that’s socially acceptable, rather then what she’s really wanting. I suggest you wait until that most important and exciting moment, stress how much you like her glorious beautiful pussy, and you’d like to taste her and ask if that’s ok with her. Please note that I’m not suggesting you shouldn’t ask, I’m very much suggesting you should ask about oral sex at the appropriate time. I also suggest all men read up on cunnilingus (how-to guides are beyond value, as many women aren’t yet comfortable guiding men, and men are not yet comfortable following directions with feeling a blow to the ego), and understand the social & political issues.

    This is profound stuff, Roberto, and I applaud you on bring it to the forefront. The more men who ask questions, the better and easier it is for women to respond.

    Reply
  14. Comment Import

    From Roberto
    How do women feel about a man who’s willing and ready to go down on you the first time you’re in bed together? Do you think he’s scummy if he wants to? Do you expect it? Do you assume he does it with every female he’s with? Is it right or wrong? You may already know that men have a pretty basic perspective on this when the roles are reversed, right?

    I ask these questions because back in the late 90s, I was on a blind date that ended up at her apartment, with the two of us planning to have sex that night. As we talked, I brought it up as a question to her, sort of, “Would you like it if I go down on you?” or “Will you let me” or something like that. I know, I know, it’s awkward to ask, right? But it wasn’t the kind of question I usually asked as a rule, for some reason, I just did, with her. Anyway, she said it was much too intimate an act for someone she didn’t know, and that it would come later in our relationship, if things progressed that way. It’s been years, but if I remember correctly, we may have discussed her performing oral sex on me, and she had the same view; too intimate for a first time together.

    What’s the proper etiquette for eating pussy the first time a man is in bed with you?

    Reply
    • JediCatwoman

      I personally wouldn’t allow sex of any kind on a first date. I have some very strong ideas about protecting women by NOT indulging the ‘free sex’ 60s-ish behavior. Lots I could say about sociology, epidemiology, and psychology, but this is a sex forum.

      Yes, I’d consider it a desperate, scummy thing to bring up, even on the second date. Consider your number ‘lost’.

      I’ve no reservations about happily helping you fuck your brains out, once there’s some sort of investment in ‘us’ as a long term relationship. That’s the point – for Me – when I’d entertain your likes and wants, fairly. Depends if there’s give and take in other areas. I agree with another poster that if there’s not 2-way giving, then the relationship is one to get out of. The way you treat sex is likely the way you treat others in the rest of life’s arenas.

      Assuming you hung around and we got along well for weeks to months…then when the sex talk comes up, asking what I like is fine.

      Try asking a woman’s opinion about said sex act in the news, and listen to her response. There’s your barometer of how she feels about it…like say Ru Paul was on TV and mentioned licking some other guy’s anus. GREAT. It’s usually easy to keep a conversation low-key about trashy Hollywood gossip.

      Asking to do this once you’re in bed – for the first time – could be disastrous.

      It’s like asking if there are Nazis in my family, when we are only out for coffee. Get it?

      Reply
      • Chuck Evans

        Your number is lost. If you cannot see the wonderous and rare opportunity you are squandering, then “be gone, bitch!”

        Somewhere there is a woman with her panties half way down at the thought of it.

        Reply
  15. Comment Import

    From Tiffany
    I agree with Heather from Texas. [see Heather’s entry below] But I do think there are a few men out there who do like going down on a woman. I’ve met quite a few and here’s why I believe they enjoy it: they realize that unlike when men receive oral, when women are being tongued, they become completely submissive. Men who enjoy it have learned that they can pretty much control a woman if they do this right. Especially since so many guys are bad at it and don’t like to do it.

    Let me put it another way: I met a man once who hit on me hard. I had no interest in this man. I was not attracted to him, we had nothing in common. He was persistent over many months. One night he drove me home and when we got to my door he whispered in my ear if he could pleasure me orally. Being horny, I accepted. I was heartless in my determination to get a good orgasm having no interest in the man and told him point blank that there would be no intercourse.Needless to say this guy licked and sucked me to the moon. I wound up dating this guy for almost 3 years and was pretty much controlled by the pleasure he gave me. And yes, it was a challenging relationship because we had nothing in common. But oh God…. the things he did with his mouth and tongue and he also could fuck like nobody’s business.

    I feel sorry for guys who don’t get how important oral pleasure is for women. Guys who do rule!

    Reply
  16. Comment Import

    From Heather in Texas
    Even with all that I have read and heard, I don’t think I will EVER really believe that any man actually LIKES performing oral sex on a woman. Over the years, it’s gotten into my head that men don’t really like to do it, partly based on my own bad experiences (and yes, I’m clean and attractive and all that!).I just can’t believe that some men genuinely like it. It doesn’t gross me out or anything, and it doesn’t really matter at this point, but I still can’t believe it.

    Reply
    • Anonymous

      You have absolutely been with the wrong men. There are plenty that enjoy it. I love performing oral. It tuns me on so much to watch a women completely enjoy herself (as much as i can with her sitting on my face)

      Reply
    • DAVEY DAVE

      Sorry Heather, I love eating pussy. I love everything about it. I start with just my tongue. The she joins in with her fingers massaging her clit. She orgasms after a bit of fucking her pussy with 2 fingers while my tongue and her fingers massage her clit. It’s a powerful orgasm for her, especially when she’s on her knees, face down on the bed.

      Reply
    • I. Adolph oliver bush

      My name is I. Adolph Oliver Bush. I’m an Amateur Gynecologist, Vagina Whisperer and a Black Belt Cunnilingus Jedi Master trained by the Ancient Chinese Lickmaster’s. I start like a butterfly landing on a flower and finish like Winnie the Pooh face fucking a jar of honey. I can make your eyes roll so far into the back of you head you can see your own thoughts.

      Why do I like eating a woman out? The sounds. The way she wimpers. The way she pushes it up to My mouth when I stop. The Broken moans. Hearing her breathing get harder and feeling her legs shake. When she looks down at Me as I look up at her and she bites her lip. The way she uses My ears for handles. The way her back arches. The way she grinds her clit on my tongue. The death grip on My head before she cums and her legs give out. The way she pulls me back up to taste herself on my lips.

      Reply
    • HoTmessxx

      I think my wife is in a similar place and it’s really quite sad, for me mainly!! As well as it not really doing much for her she absolutely struggles to accept I enjoy it greatly. My perfect scenario is she wouldn’t shower for a good 8-10 hours before, same panties on all day – doesn’t matter what she’d done during the day (like exercise for e.g. it wouldn’t put me offset all!) I would devour her and it would keep me hard for days after … sigh, if only …

      Reply
  17. Comment Import

    From TrulyBlonde
    This site is awesome. I really enjoy reading everyone’s ideas and experiences. Having a man down between your legs is the ultimate. I enjoy being licked, sucked and explored for hours. The slower the better. I keep my pussy fully shaved. It is such a surprise for a new partner to see and feel your shaven pussy for the first time. They really enjoy going down on you and licking the clean shaven kitty. Once you’ve shaved the kitty, you’ll never go back. It is very pleasurable to have him start by licking right through your panties. That way he gets a taste and a smell of what is yet to come. I am not a lesbian, but I would like to lick another woman’s pussy sometime. Knowing how I feel, when a man is down on me, makes me want to experience the same pleasure.

    Reply
  18. JediCatwoman

    I’ll respond first to the girls who’re saying oral is nasty, creepy, disgusting, etc. to receive on themselves.
    I used to agree with that. For one reason: restrictive Catholic Parents/Church ideas (that are QUITE un-Biblical, BTW. Read ‘Song of Solomon’ for starters. lol). 2 – I had a perverted male babysitter when I was yet too young for preschool. For the longest time, just being alone with a man in the room gave me panic attacks. Nevermind letting one ‘pleasure’ me. Ugh. That’s how the teen-perv talked. (I’m okay now, thanks to several GOOD men. One of whom was a biker!) 3 – Poor body image will gross you out long before anyone can get within mere fingering distance…a tongue has no chance at all to be persuasive. If you believe the ‘tapes’ you play to yourself, then THAT will remain your reality. (This is basic Counseling Theory – go check it out.) 5 – Some males ARE ‘disgusting’. WHY would you entertain any notion of intimacy with a man that revolts you? I can’t relax and accept pleasure, then return some, If the guy is like an ‘Omega’ male, with 3 good teeth, cold sores, breath that could fell a horse, knuckles dragging the ground, and the brains of a turnip… SAY NO. We all have standards. PICK someone sexy enough to suit YOU. (some women are gross, too) 6 – Oral is something you learn with a lover. It should never be coerced, forced on you, or the result of emotional blackmail – signs you’re in a unhealthy relationship. 7 – YES there are males – nice ones – that like giving oral. It’s a personal thing like preferring doggie style over reverse cowgirl. 8 – As a friend-Dom helped me realize, we women are often afraid/embarrassed to be honest to OURSELVES. If something feels pleasing, ADMIT it! All you have to lose is that uncomfortable, awkward ‘what do I do now’ feeling. Believe the several good alpha males I have enjoyed over the years: good oral gives to both of you, and both of you are giving when it happens 😉 when it’s done with the right heart. 9 – Passing you a swat on the butt from said friend-Dom, if you don’t dare to try something HOW do you ‘know’ you don’t like it? You don’t. You ARE actually lying to yourself, and to your partner. (Maybe deserving a few more stingy sort of swats.) Lies are really disrespectful, no? 10 – If you have personal issues like I did, from early child abuse, then that’s a ‘reason’, not an excuse. Get counseling. Get to know yourself and get confident being an empowered woman. Then try, just once, if you meet a pleasant, honest hearted male who wants to go down on you until you come – and you WILL. (the other option to such emotional blocks is Tantra. Yoni massage is something you may want to explore. See where you grow as a stronger woman.

    Reply
  19. John

    I adore eating pussy. Pusy juices have an erotic taste and smell that is addicting. My wife squirts so I am the luckiest man on earth.

    As to the men who don’t, they are selfish and don’t care about you, pure and simple. I get the question” What if my man won’t eat pussy?” Then dump him and find one who does care.

    Reply
  20. DogstarIx

    I’m jealous of all the comments here from women who love oral. My wife doesn’t care for it on a few levels. She says that at the start she’s too sensitive and the sensation is ‘too much’, then, when talking about it one day she also said that it just didn’t do much for her, that she likes friction and it gets too wet which she doesn’t like too much (as far as oral and masterbation are concerned), the other issue tho is she has large hang ups with ‘smell’ (in all areas of life not just sexually), this is the biggest problem in my mind (even tho she doesn’t smell at all, but no amount of convincing can tell her that she’s convinced she reeks, can only assume someone has put this in her mind in the past), she just can’t get over it which IMO is really sad as I can’t get enough of her. I mean it could be a technique issue right? I haven’t had problems with other girls but also I would be more than happy to practice for hours but she just doesn’t really want it. Sometimes it can work for her after sex (even with the ‘too wet’ issue) but as we use lube for intercourses I’m less keen at that point and having come even tho I still like it it’s not quite as lustful. I would be up for doing it for as long as she wanted with all the instruction necessary but the reality is that although it’s painted as the ultimate sexual foreplay for women, some girls are just not into it. It’s a shame personally as it’s a big thing for me, all other aspects of our sex life are amazing so this compromise I just have to accept, although I do miss it deeply.

    Reply

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