Playing It Her Way
Women, how do you like your clit played with? How do you tell a lover, without making him/her feel uncomfortable, that the technique being used isn’t working and to try other things? Some of my lovers jingle my clit like it’s a bell. It doesn’t work for me. I have this theory that men often approach a clit as if it’s a wee penis they’re trying to jerk off.
My husband is very good at clit play. He doesn’t treat mine as a bell, but rather surrounds it with two fingers, and allows me to move myself against them. I like a slow, steady rhythm. Then he puts another finger inside me and I place my little vibe on top of my clit. That works. It takes a lovely, languorous time, but it is worth it. And of course he often adds his tongue to the mix. Which is fab-u-lous. I’m just curious about how others enjoy and approach clit play. —Amanda
From Jess
I have to admit that I love my clit. It like to be touched by another person, and to be honest, mostly girls who can be more careful. And I don’t mind at all to touch myself. I often use a mirror a small hand one or even my big dressing room mirror, wish I can stand in front of (and with a little shyness)I can tell how much I love to see myself become horny cause my large clit is then step by step slowly filling its little body with blood. Gradually even my labia swells and my clit stick out. And as more aroused I am as taller it get and this clit skin hood can no way any longer cover my clit gland. Oh so much I like this.
It must be quite self-absorbed to look in a mirror and admire what I got down there between my legs. When I see this stiff little creature poking out between my labia I can’t keep my fingers still and I have to masturbate. I pull my clit hood as far in to the root until it hurt but in a good way and I am telling the mirror like it was a real person I was showing myself to “look honey how tall it is” I even masturate in front of the mirror until my orgasm hit me so hard and I almost past away and find myself at my knees soaking wet…but so very much relieved. I am crazy and I am a horny girl. Now I’m blushing but what the heck.
From Anonymous
My wife of 37 years is a connoisseur of clitoris play. She taught me precisely what she enjoyed, and it has never failed us. When she was dating, many of her boyfriends went down on her, which was pleasurable for her but didn’t result in orgasm. (She hadn’t had any orgasm thus far.) but she knew something was supposed to happen. Her boyfriends benefited greatly, because she became very skilled at giving oral in return for their efforts.
Finally, when she taught herself to masturbate to orgasm, she could teach her guys what she needed. And when I got together with her, she taught me what she needed. When I go down on her, unfailingly she comes 4 to 8 times with my tongue… Hard, thrashing, claw-at-the-sheets orgasms.
And it’s not just me: occasionally we play with other couples, and I’ve seen her, after a few words of instruction to the other man, come with his tongue just as much and just as powerfully.
Men who listen to their partner, take instructions, and focus on her pleasure, will please her.
From Anonymous
My clit needs some time. Use long, languishing strokes on my lips until I’m squirming and moaning. Then and only then, touch my clit. And please don’t tongue it – suck it. That’s the best thing for me. Same with my nipples – don’t tongue it (why do guys always want to tongue things?) – suck it. It is so much more pleasurable!
From Erica
My clit loves to get spanked and then chewed on. I love when it gets sucked and my partner’s mouth covers all that clit and inner lips, moving his head up and down clit in mouth. Licking it and sucking on it until I can’t take it no more! Can I say Oh YEAH! I love to hear the munch sound when he chews on it! It turn me more on!
From Anonymous
My boyfriend always fingers me but I have better orgasms when he directly touches my clit. Wetness on my clit is amazing I do figure 8s on it or just circles and when I’m alone and horny I lay on my stomach and take my index and middle finger and rub against my clit and I do different speeds to prolong and make the orgasm 10 times better. Ky warming jelly is amazing! [other warming lube options include: K-Y Intense Arousal Gel, and Blossom Organics Warm Sensation]
From Lilith
I have found that over stimulation of my clit can be painful and unbearable. I actually have to push some away if they have at it for too long. The best head I ever received was not when the guy focused on the clitoris alone but kissed my vagina as if he were kissing my mouth. Pulling my lips into his mouth and sucking them as one does the bottom lip of their lovers mouth. Even allowing me to feel the scrap of his teeth. This I found terribly exciting and a lot better then the ABCs that men are now so fond of.
From Cindy
I love to have my clit played with a lot. I recently got some clit jewelry with beads hanging from it and love to get my clit super hard and sticking out, slide that clit clip over my swollen clit and just enjoy the erotic waves of pleasure. I either play with myself while watching porn or my husband does. I wear it during the day alone and horny.
We both appreciate the fact that my clit not only stays huge and sticks out so much it is easily seen, but I start to come each time it is teased. Worn all day will drive me crazy, and worn in public is tricky, just walking around I am so horny. Especially in public. But I love it. The body rush is so good. The orgasm is almost too strong. Touching my nipples during the long time I am wearing the clit clip makes me throb, I think my clit thickens. It is insane, but wonderful.
From Beth
My clit is a shy thing that doesn’t like to be accosted vigorously. It likes to be invited out to play politely and with restraint. Once it trusts the playmate, it enjoys a broader range of activity. My clit is very much an extension of me.
Harder is not better. If it is over-stimulated, it gets bored and goes home. This leaves the owner profoundly unhappy, I must say. If one game isn’t working, I usually suggest another or take over the game myself. I have not yet met a man or woman that doesn’t like watching a woman pleasure herself. It takes the pressure off a particular situation and actually allows both people to regroup and reestablish a sexual connection.
My clit likes tongues a lot. Sucking, licking, swirling. . .whatever. The nice thing about a tongue is it’s gentle by nature and anatomy. Still, if someone tries to use their tongue like a floor polisher (too hard, too fast) I’ll gently suggest altering the pace.
With my husband, if we are in a mood and I am REALLY ready to go, I will let him get nasty with it. . .a little whack perhaps. He is the only one who gets to do that because I trust him to know when that is appropriate. However, when it is. . .holy cow. . .blows my mind.
From Dawn
I love what was said about how men treat our clits. I love it sucked, licked and rubbed hard. I love your site. Sigh…I’ve had those bell ringers too. They touch it like we will break or like we are gross, while it is OK to shove their cock in our mouths. I love sucking but hey guys…you have to give too ya know
From Misha
I find that my clit tends to be moody… in other words, it likes certain things depending on my mood. Which means that what works one day may be too gentle or too hard the next. Very hard with most new lovers which probably explains why I’m not usually all excited to try out someone new—tends to be just frustrating.
The boy I’m with now has a great technique of exploration… he tries different things and can tell by my reactions, tension in muscles, etc how I like or don’t like it. Then he focuses on the ones I’m enjoying at the time. I tend to like soft at first, and then I can handle rougher. With the second and third ones I need the roughness to get results.
I do know the jingling bell one you refer to. It’s like if they were trying to turn on and off a light switch with their tongue. Flick up, flick down, etc. It’s especially disconcerting when there’s no other contact with skin… in other words, they’re just flicking the clit, not sucking on the labia, or exploring other places. And if they try to do it right at the start it almost hurts… too sensitive. I do tend to like it for the second or third one, though… but by then, I’m well warmed up and lubed and not so sensitive.
From Madeleine
My clit is slightly protruding, but not large. It is not completely covered by the skin and so it shows as a little pink ‘knob’ – my pleasure knob I call it. I love it dearly, love to play with it myself, I make one finger wet in my vagina and then gently rub it. I do like it when my husband licks it but he has to be very gentle about it, as my clit is very sensitive. Unfortunately, if he sucks or rubs too hard, all pleasure is gone for me.
Before I got married I had a lover. He had an enormous cock and because of that we mostly had oral sex. Now he was sensational in pleasuring my clit. He actually made me come several times, just by licking, sucking, even nibbling on my clit.
From Anonymous
I like it when my boyfriend gently pull the skin on my clit backward and suck it. Does any female feel uncomfortable when your boyfriend lick your clit through “down to up” motion? (cuz I do)
From Barbra
I don’t know if I am a lesbian or what. I have been with guys earlier, no problems with that. But lately I don’t know what happens with me. From this lovely sites of Erotica I found out that I really enjoy reading participants experiences. And what’s excites me more then anything else are those written by women. Can I be frank? What they say they do with their clits, big or small excites me more then ever. So, I masturbate while I read them. And my imagination have no limit at all. If I could watch it for real would be heaven. But I am satisfied with reading. This make my day worth living for. No harm in that?
My clit really likes when I pull my hood back and forth. I simply like to do this better then have anything inserted in my pussy.
From Patty
I like to rub my clit, covered by the hood, back and forth with the index and middle fingers of my right hand, feeling the hard shaft under my fingers. If I press down hard I can kind of make the shaft “snap” as I rub back and forth. If I keep doing that for long I’ll explode into orgasm. I love to rub it back and forth like that, and I can literally do it for hours. It’s easy to keep the sensation at the right level that I want it, to slack off or make it more intense so that I can start my orgasm.
I also like to pull the hood back and gently touch the head with my wet fingertip, rubbing gently back and forth. As soon as my fingertip (or his tongue) first touches the head, I’ll let out a long sigh because the feeling is so intense. I can’t last long doing that until I have an explosive orgasm.
I like for my guy to also suck my clit, covered by the head, into his mouth and lightly chew on it. I’ll groan from deep in my chest as he does that until I scream bloody murder as I come. Sometimes I just beg him to chew on it and not stop until I explode.
From Prairieyoni
My clitoris, which is about average size, is entirely covered by the hood and it never protrudes unless I pull the hood right back. I like a variety of different touches, including a circular motion right on the exposed clitoris and a stroking action very much like jerking off, starting at the base of the clitoris and rubbing upward and downward with a finger on either side of my clitoris. But my favorite is very hard rubbing on the left side of the hood.
Sucking is exquisite, and a tongue flicking over my exposed clitoris is also very pleasurable. When I’m not getting what I need I sometimes use fingers to guide my partner, or other times I simply ask, saying something like, “That feels okay, but could you try THIS, please?”
From Stiletto Heel
As I get older and more familiar with my clit I find better ways to please it. I examine it and watch myself masturbate in the mirror. I pull back the hood to intensify my self-stimulation and the orgasm to follow.
I’ve surely developed a preference for the form of stimulus I like the best because I know it the best and have perfected it for myself. My index finger and middle finger rubbing with a moderate amount of pressure in a circular motion over the very tip of my clit while the palm of my other hand rests on the top of my vagina as the fingers pull my lips and skin taut. By holding the skin taut the hood is pulled back to reveal the source of incredible pleasure and an intense orgasm will follow. Ahhh, it’s a good thing. With that done I’m ready to face the day-now off to work.
My boyfriend enjoys sucking on my clit, just as much as I enjoy the feeling of it. Every chance he gets he begs me to spread and show him my clitoris. He would apart my pussy lips and stare at my clit before guiding the clit into his mouth. I’ve realised that every time he notices I am about to come he sucks on my clit, and this drives me insane. I love him. He always has time to please me
I have a big clit – about an inch long when erect. I have fitted a flexible rubber ring at the base of drawing up the clit hood. It gives me tingling sensation while it is snugly there around my clit.