The recent lockdown has given me the largely enjoyable opportunity to reflect on my personal erotic history. One thing I’ve realized is that almost all my relationships have involved people who might be labeled as “nerds”.
That term has been twisted a bit recently, so that it has come to suggest pimply incels who spend all their waking hours playing video games. When I use the label, I mean guys who are might not be conventionally attractive, but who have above average intelligence. Nerds may be shy, unfashionable, or socially awkward. They’re not usually extroverts. Typically, they’re not sports- or fitness-oriented, preferring to read or tinker or hack away at personal projects. They’re the exact opposite of the alpha males so common in erotica and erotic romance. But believe it or not, nerds make the best lovers.
Nerds are grateful. They’re as interested in sex as anyone (maybe more), but in many cases have had less success with women because of their less-than-stellar physical appearance or their geeky interests. So when they do get some nookie, they make the woman involved feel really appreciated. At least, that’s been my experience. A well-fucked nerd is a very happy and generous guy.
Nerds do their research. A nerd understands that research can sometimes be compensate for lack of experience. My nerdy lovers have often known far more about sexual technique than I did – simply because they’d made a serious study of it.
Nerds are creative. They’re adept at devising interesting and unexpected erotic scenarios. Some of them even invent devious sexual devices for pleasure or torment.
With nerds, you have something to talk about in the afterglow. Nobody can spend every waking hour having sex. (Not even me.) When your lover is a nerd, the non-sexual moments can be just as interesting as the erotic peaks. Since I’m something of a female nerd (if that’s a concept that makes sense), I’ve often enjoyed long philosophical and/or technical conversations with my geeky partners.
Nerds are kinky and experimental. Okay, that might not be true of all nerds, but based on my personal experience I’d say the kink quotient is a lot higher than for supposedly masterful alphas. I had one nerd lover who enjoyed dressing up as Dr. Frankenfurter, corset, garter belt, stilettos and all. That same guy took me downtown to some seedy adult theater, where we watched dirty movies and played around in one of the booths. Then of course, there was the man who initiated me into dominance and submission, an Uber-nerd if there ever was one, who had degrees in physics and philosophy and a substantial private collection of BDSM porn.
My husband probably qualifies as a nerd. Certainly he’s brilliant, creative and able to fix any sort of machinery. He also looks a bit like a short Scandinavian troll (especially when I met him, when his face was obscured by a bushy red beard). Yet as we got to know one another, he told me story after story (at my urging) of all the women he’d bedded. Guess they’d figured out they should look past the surface! Alas, my DH is not one of the kinky nerds – but otherwise he’s willing to try almost anything.
Needless to say, nerds figure prominently in a lot of my erotica. One of my favorites is Dr. Theo Moore in The Gazillionaire and the Virgin. A brilliant computer scientist and a closet Dom, Theo is the virgin of the title. When he meets the gazillionaire, Silicon Valley entrepreneur Rachel Zelinsky, he has a lot of theoretical knowledge about sex, but no personal experience. Of course, that’s soon remedied!
My current work in progress features so many nerds I can’t keep track of them all. The Pornographer’s Apprentice introduces the Toy Makers Guild, a secret society of Victorian engineers who design and build outrageous sexual contraptions for the rich and powerful. Gillian Smith is one of the few female apprentices to have qualified for the Guild – based on her intellect, her electrical and mechanical engineering skills, and her insatiable libido.
Her experience agrees with mine. Her geeky colleagues are more that capable of satisfying her – both physically and intellectually!
So let other authors swoon over gruff hunks with tight butts and six-pack abs, or pent-house billionaires with designer shoes and perfect hair. I’ll take a nerd every time.