by | September 6, 2022 | General | 6 comments

by Ashley Lister

My father was a music hall comedian. I’m not saying his material was bad but, on the night variety died, his act was held for questioning.

Actually, that’s unfair.

He was very good at making people laugh. I remember his last words to me. “Don’t turn the machine off. Please. Please, for the love of God. I’m sure I’ll recover. I don’t want to die.” How we all chuckled.

But I’m not sure if it’s because of father’s influence that I’ve developed my lifelong passion for humour.

In poetry, the form most commonly associated with humour is the limerick. This is a format with which we’re all familiar. The limerick manages to combine vulgar humour with something that’s often sexual in nature. To illustrate:

There was a young fellow named Dave
Who took a dead whore from her grave.
He said, “It’s disgusting,
But she only needs dusting
And think of the money I’ll save.


There once was a man from Madras
Whose balls were both made out of brass
In stormy weather
They’d both clang together
And sparks would fly out of his ass!

The limerick, as I’ve probably mentioned before, has a rhyme scheme of aabba. It’s supposed to consist of anapaestic feet (that is, with two short beats followed by a third, longer beat) and the ‘a’ rhymes have three feet, whilst the ‘b’ rhymes have only two. However, to put it in more simplified terms that allow for the lack of formality in this form, the ‘a’ rhymes should have roughly eight or nine syllables and the ‘b’ rhymes should have five or six. Below is a final example.

There was a young woman from Leeds
Who swallowed a packet of seeds
With half an hour
Her arse grew a flower
And her clunge was a bundle of weeds

Now it’s your turn. Please share a limerick in the comments box below.

Ashley Lister

Ashley Lister is a UK author responsible for more than two-dozen erotic novels written under a variety of pseudonyms. His most recent work, a non-fiction book recounting the exploits of UK swingers, is his second title published under his own name: Swingers: Female Confidential by Ashley Lister (Virgin Books; ISBN: 0753513439) Ashley’s non-fiction has appeared in a variety of magazines, including Forum, Chapter & Verse and The International Journal of Erotica. Nexus, Chimera and Silver Moon have published his full-length fiction, with shorter stories appearing in anthologies edited by Maxim Jakubowski, Rachel Kramer Bussel and Mitzi Szereto. He is very proud to be a regular contributor to ERWA.


  1. Lisabet sarai

    Hello, Ashley!

    Those weren’t really your dad’s last words, were they?

    My apologies for not commenting earlier. The blog gets into moods where the format doesn’t render correctly, and my attempts to comment always fail. I just have to keep trying until I catch it on a good day.

    Love your limerick examples – especially the first one.

    I’ll be back later with one of my own, I hope.

    • Ashley Lister

      No – they weren’t his last words, but I think he would have found it amusing if people thought they had been 🙂

  2. Lisabet sarai

    Here’s an oldie but goodie:

    An eager young sub named Louise
    Spent most of her time on her knees
    Begging Master to strip her,
    Or fist her, or whip her.
    He wouldn’t – he just liked to tease.

    But I really should think of some new material…

  3. Ashley Lister

    Love this limerick. No point in getting new material if you’re working with quality like this 🙂


  4. spwilcen

    An Okie, a cowgirl named Sue,
    Thought only a stallion would do.
    The problem of course is,
    That men hung like horses,
    Sue’s saddle split cleanly in two.
    © spwilcen 2022

    • Ashley Lister

      Snorted at this one. Thank you spwilcen 🙂

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