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The Power of Sexual Dreams: Night

by | Aug 18, 2018 | General | 3 comments

Last month, I talked about my dreams by day. Even before I honed my skills as an erotica writer, my waking reveries were vivid and explicit.

Yet I can’t recall a single explicit sleeping dream. At best there’s been a kiss and an embrace. No one has ever taken off any clothes. I feel a bit like the Meg Ryan character in When Harry Met Sally—although of course, only at night.

In pondering the nature of my night dreams, I realized there is a lot of suspense and implied sexuality. I know some people think dreams are boring—I find them endlessly fascinating, like a secret code where the same message has many translations. For those of you who do like dreams, I’d like to share two recent examples that have stayed with me to see what you think.

In one dream, I was lying on a single bed in a small bedroom, rather like a maid’s room in an attic. A man walked in and started opening the drawers of my small dresser over against the wall. I felt mildly violated, but said nothing and stayed motionless on the bed merely watching and waiting. Then the man came over, sat down beside me at the edge of the bed and looked down at me.

That’s it. But when I woke, I thought, “What a weird sex dream.”

In another, a man asked me to meet him in his hotel room for a meeting on political issues. I was worried he might take some sexual advantage, but he was perfectly professional, even though we were sitting on beds while I asked him questions about political action. Still uncomfortable, I excused myself to get something to drink and found myself in a huge hotel lobby complex, like the endless mall lobbies they have in Las Vegas or the train stations in Japan. I wandered through stores and bakeries and restaurants in an effort to get back to the meeting. When I finally found the man’s room, it was occupied by someone else, as if he’d never been there. I never found him again.

“Wow, I think that was sort of a sex dream,” I thought when I woke up.

My night dreams are more like old-fashioned romances than modern erotica: the simmering tension between me and a mysterious man, the unsettled nature of our relationship, the fade-to-nothing before anything actually juicy happens. Is it because I was raised in a time when sex was rarely openly discussed? Or is that I deal with explicit sexuality in my waking life so it’s other things that need working out at night?

Each of these men had the name of someone I’ve dealt with in real life, but I know the dream was not about that person, rather more of something he represents: the sense of a power differential and my being in a world where he has more control than I do.

Last month I argued that our waking dreams have interesting things to tell us. Night dreams do as well, but the listening requires even more patience and curiosity to find the truth at their heart. I remember one dream analyst recommending that you pay attention to the feelings a dream evokes rather than any of the “factual” details. I also find that approach more illuminating than a list of symbolic meanings—dresser drawers symbolize my vagina and hotel rooms sexual intimacy (although you could argue for both).

In any case, I can feel when a dream drips with sexual politics even if everyone keeps his/her clothes on. A good erotic story can achieve the same. (In case you’re curious, yes, as in the photo above, I always sleep in lipstick to look my best 24/7!)

Are your night dreams different from you daydreams?

About the Author Donna George Storey

Donna George Storey

I want to change the world one dirty story at a time.

When I posted this mission statement on my website, I hoped my cheeky ambition would make my readers smile. I smile every time I read it myself. And yet I’m totally serious. I truly believe that writers who are brave enough to speak their truth about the erotic experience in all its complexity—the yearning, the pleasure, the conflicts, and the sweet satisfaction—do change the world for the better.

So if you’re here at ERWA because you’re already writing erotica, a big thank you and keep on doing what you’re doing. If you’re more a reader than a writer, I encourage you to start dreaming and writing and expressing the truth and magic of this fundamental part of the human experience in your own unique voice. Can there be a more pleasurable way to change the world?

I'm the author of Amorous Woman, a semi-autobiographical erotic novel set in Japan, The Mammoth Book of Erotica Presents the Best of Donna George Storey  and nearly 200 short stories and essays in journals and anthologies. Check out my Facebook author page at: https://www.facebook.com/DGSauthor/

 

3 Comments

  1. I also find dreams endlessly fascinating. (In fact, I have a post about mine here: https://lisabetsarai.blogspot.com/2018/08/what-dreams-may-come-dreams-eroticism.html

    My erotic dreams have become more explicit over the years. Sometimes I even seem to orgasm in my sleep. However, some of the most compelling erotic dreams are the suggestive ones, where there’s a powerful feeling of desire but no actual sexual activity.

    And I do dream (sometimes) about people I know or knew. A few nights ago I had an intense dream about a former professor from grad school (almost forty years ago). He and I are actually still in touch – both married – but there was definitely some sexual tension between us back when I was a student.

    In the dream, we are together though not doing anything more than kissing – but it feels like there’s more to come. I ask him “Why did we wait all these years?” It seems a waste at some level — yet it’s also supremely exciting that our flirtation is finally about to be consummated.

    • Donna George Storey

      Dreams are an inspiring topic for us both–dreams of a (slightly later than) midsummer night! I love your post on dreams. I also dream about returning to college and blended landscapes of my past. I have a strange fixation on houses and the strange things I find inside (probably because we moved a lot when I was a child?) Of course dreams are the food of fiction. I’m not at all surprised that your night imagination is so rich :).

  2. Some of us also experience that kind of dreams.By the way thanks for sharing your blog! 🙂

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