By Ashley Lister
One of my favourite poetic standbys is the
list poem. Because, in real life, I’m a serial list-writer, I find it easy to
slip into the mindset of writing lists. Maybe it’s something to do with having the name ‘Lister’?
This is from a poem I wrote a few years
back entitled ‘A List of Things I Think About During WOFT Meetings’. It will be
noted that the word WOFT is an acronym for Waste Of F*****g Time.
I muted my mobile?
my mouth fixed in a smile?
I slyly check my watch?
I scratch my itchy crotch?
I count the ceiling tiles?
all this sitting give me piles?
I’ve written mine rhyming couplets,
although that’s just personal preference. These can work in blank verse or with
a rhyming structure behind them. What sort of lists would be appropriate for an
erotic poem? How about a list of things I think about whilst blindfolded? What
about a list of things I think about when you’re away? Or list of things I should have said? This is
how ‘A List of Things I Think About During WOFT Meetings’ continues:
a witless pseud pretender
brings a typo-plagued agenda
followed by his office flunkies
troop of trite arse-kissing monkeys
covens then collude
fat ones focus on free food
everyone gets their free drink
here to eat and chat – not think
I stare at my blank notepad
tell myself it’s not that bad
letting my self-esteem diminish
wond’ring: “When will this crap finish?”
I know that woman’s name?
I check my watch again?
long ago did this shit start?
long can I hold in this fart?
As always, I look forward to seeing your
poems in the comments box below.