Compliments of P. Weasels from Gamelink
If you’re coming by your porn honestly, which is to say paying for it, you know that it can be expensive to keep buying new movies. Aside from the occasional favorite scene, most porn isn’t really the kind of thing that you can watch over and over – unlike mainstream movies, there isn’t room for a lot of nuance, and it’s rare to go back and find new things on repeated viewings. Still, once in a while, porn turns out something that bears more than one stint in front of the TV, and it’s always nice to get added value for your money. (PS: if you’re paying for your porn, thanks!)
1. Compulsion (Wicked)
Studio: Wicked
You don’t often find intentionally funny porn – although that depends to a certain extent on what you think is funny – but “Compulsion” has some great comedy going on. It’s the story of a guy who goes to twelve-step programs and survivor support groups to pick up girls, and it stars Randy Spears and Carmen Hart, two of the best of porn’s few real comedic talents (you can also see them teamed up in Wicked’s “40-Year-Old Virgin” knockoff, “Love for the First Time”). “Compulsion” is sweet and clever and worth it for more than just the sex.
2. The Fashionistas
Studio: Evil Angel
It shouldn’t even have to be said, but “Fashionistas” holds a legitimate claim to the title of Best Porn Movie Ever Made. Part of that is the production values, but it also set a standard that has never yet been met as far as providing both plot and sex in movie-length quality and quantity; the plot is “Cyrano de Bergerac” and the sex is all Buttman, and it’s five hours long, not including the bonus features.
3. Pirates
Studio: Digital Playground
It’s an easy choice, but “Pirates” belongs on this list too. It’s not especially sophisticated or complex, or even risque as far as porn goes – you don’t spend a million dollars on a porn movie to make something that will put the mainstream audience off its feed – but it’s clever, funny, and rollicking, which are three things you don’t often even see separately in porn, let alone all together in one movie.
4. Black Worm
Studio: Pulpo Inc
A studio called Pulpo surfaced very briefly in the mid-oughts, releasing two movies, one of which was “Black Worm”, a twisty, tight little gang thriller with some good acting and an ambitious plot, not to mention Loren Sanchez and Alektra Blue. You have to pay close attention, but it’s worth it to see someone putting in some effort
5. Real Fucking Girls
Studio: Grooby Productions
“Real Fucking Girls” is by turns cute, atmospheric, sassy, and sweet, and it’s got so much variety and so much character that I find myself returning to it over and over. The only thing you could ask of it is some Mona Wales in front of the camera, but even that would just be icing on a very nice cake.