A friend of mine has been hooked on dating sites since the first day he got the Internet. He met many of his loves in real life. The problem comes when he forks over his hard-earned cash to run off to meet the new love of his life. The lust is wonderful for a few weeks. He’s head over heels and they make plans for one or the other to move. Then the wheels fall off. This whole thing gets me to thinking. Has the internet destroyed our perception of what love and lust really are?
Tell us your experiences of finding love, or heartache, via online dating. — Lybbe
From Tony (L.A.)
I have been on multiple sites trying to find an ideal mate. If you’re wondering, I’m a well educated, well employed man with manners and a great sense of humor, in great physical shape. I too have come across insincere flakes and am ready to follow my Dr’s advice…meet someone in person at work, hobbies or general interest groups. As he says “chemistry counts”.
From Kat
I have had not luck with this. Every man thinks that if they lie and we meet it’s ok. I have done this 4 times with different results. 1. not telling he was married. 2. Was bald 3. Extremely overweight. 4. 15 years younger than me. I haven’t tried this again nor do I tend to.
From Michae
Reading all of your experiences – most of them positive and satisfying I might add – has only made me feel even worse about my own online dating adventures. I have actually spent about 7 years of my life tinkering with online dating and online socializing, and aside from make one or two lasting pen pals, most of the people I’ve tried talking to usually just turned out awkward, disappointing, or even unpleasant and weird. Is this just me, or are there plenty of other unsuccessful people who are simply too afraid to post here? I’m so envious of all of you.
From WildBeasty
I am intrigued by this question since I have experience in that area. I started talking more with someone I met via an online dating site. She and I fell in love. She lived about 350 miles from me. I still remember the first time we met in person – I remember everything. She was living with someone. She indicated that she was willing to leave him and that we could make a life together. I planned my move and, yes, I moved the 350 miles from the place I had lived for all of my life to that point. I set all my hopes and dreams on that one singular event. About four months later after my move she told me that she would not leave him. She still wanted to be “friends” with me but that we could not be intimate or “together” like we had been. She was not willing to hurt him. I still love her dearly. I’m just so hurt.
From Nina
Yes, you can find love. My friend has found this super guy who has moved in with her and are very happy together. I have been in a loveless marriage for 26 years and, through Adult Friend Finder have fallen in love with a beautiful man. He is in the same situation as I am. We have been corresponding for 2 years and have met 4 times. We share our hopes and dreams of our future together which will come when our kids are all grown up. We share things that I wouldn’t share with anyone else. We support each other on truly bad days and our e mails and cards are precious as well as our time together online. I would have never met this man and my friend would not be happy if it weren’t for online dating – I love it.
From Anonymous
I was skeptical. Out of amusement, I place a discreet ad on a dating site, not expecting too much, just maybe some commiseration. What I found was the love of my life, living less than a half hour away. Was this fate? You bet your booty it was. I thank God every day for him finding me. We are best friends and complement each other perfectly.
From Shelly
I met my fiancé on the internet. So, yes, I do believe that you can find love in cyberspace. Even though we live 3000 miles apart, we have managed to fly to see each other several times, and we talk on the phone 2-3 hours every day. We spoke on the phone for a couple of months before we met. And when we met, wow, we were instantly attracted.
I was surprisingly comfortable when I first met him because we had been talking and sharing our thoughts and feelings for a while, and this strengthened the intensity of our attraction. What was so nice was the fact that the physical aspect was not an issue at first. We didn’t have cybersex before we met; we concentrated on getting to know each other on a cerebral level. We hinted around as to our desires and fantasies, but we waited until we physically met to explore things further.
From Jenna
It is not only possible to find love through internet interaction, I contend that it is likely. I fell in love with a guy I met on an online site. I truly fell in love with him; first his mind, then everything else. And he fell in love with me. Too bad I wasn’t completely honest with him about who I was. To make a long story short, I lied to him. (Who hasn’t pretended to be someone they’re not in chatroom encounters? Role playing is fun.) But everything I told him about me was true with the exception that it all had taken place 10 years before. Everything I shared with him was from my life back then. It was fun and exciting to revisit my past and to embellish things a bit, just to live out fantasies about how I would have liked my life to have been different 10 years ago.
Everything would have been fine IF we hadn’t fallen in love. This was a particularly sticky situation as I have been married for 10 years now. I love my husband dearly and had no intention of leaving him for anyone else…including Mr. Internet. But I was wholly compelled to not only meet my internet love, but to consummate our relationship…and we did, indeed consummate our relationship. He never suspected that I wasn’t who I said I was. And the time we had together was very special.
Aside from the guilt I’ve experienced (infidelity and lying, to name but two reasons), I now have the daunting task of somehow getting out of this relationship (the internet one) without really hurting this guy. I can’t be with him: he believes me to be someone I’m not. The truth would crush him. AND there’s the little detail that I’m married.
Now that I’ve left the confessional, let me hop up on my soapbox for a minute, I only want to say be careful! Guard your hearts by using your heads. It’s easy to fall in love through internet interaction but be wary of someone who seems “too perfect.” Chances are if someone seems too perfect to be true, then he/she IS too perfect to be true. If love is your objective, I say you’ll experience fewer complications if you stick to those within your own village, rather than the global village.