Every year at this time, we are bombarded by holiday-themed romance flicks on TV. Christmas and romance go together like cookies and hot chocolate, but some cable networks take it to the extreme. Last year, the Hallmark Channel broadcast a record 39 new movies in December alone. They began running this year’s lineup before Halloween, and Lifetime followed shortly thereafter with their seasonal soapers. I try to catch a few, but some of them threaten to push my blood sugar level into the diabetic danger zone.

To that end, I submit my own list of favorite holiday movies, the ones that are part of my yuletide tradition. Some of them focus on romance, but most are just good holiday cheer, designed to help you enjoy the season and take your mind off of shopping. How many of these have you seen?

“Holiday Inn” (1942) – The first onscreen pairing of Bing Crosby and Fred Astaire introduced “White Christmas,” “Happy Holiday” and “Easter Parade,” among other holiday-themed songs by Irving Berlin. The concept was cliched even then (two show biz partners break up the act, they fight over the same girl, etc.) but it’s still fun to watch for the music, laughs, and some of the best dancing Astaire ever did in a film. A highlight is the Valentine’s Day ballad “Be Careful, It’s My Heart.”

“White Christmas” (1954) – This was originally intended as a reworking of “Holiday Inn,” again featuring Crosby and Astaire, along with some new Irving Berlin music. The plan changed after Astaire read the script and turned it down. Donald O’Connor was then chosen to be the dancing partner but he became ill, and was replaced by Danny Kaye. Kaye let it be known that he wasn’t happy about being third choice, and wouldn’t be taking a back seat to Crosby. Despite all the backstage drama, it was the most successful movie that year and has remained a beloved holiday favorite. The songs are good, the dance numbers are top-notch, and the chemistry between Crosby and Rosemary Clooney reflects their off-screen friendship.

“The Man Who Came to Dinner” (1942) – This film version of the Broadway comedy hit came along when America was in the thick of WWII, and the country needed something to lift its spirits. Monty Woolley is a snobbish radio personality who becomes injured while visiting an Ohio family during a lecture tour. He remains in their home through Christmas, imposing his eccentric lifestyle and pompous demands on his unwilling hosts. The whole thing is performed at a fast pace with dialogue and situations that are still funny. This was updated for TV in the ‘70s with Orson Welles in the title role.

“Grumpy Old Men” (1993) – The reunion of Jack Lemmon and Walter Matthau turned out to be a surprise hit. Two childhood friends who have been feuding for years live next door to each other, but barely get along. When carefree spirit Ann-Margret moves in across the street, the competition for her attention gets intense. This movie is a delight, with hearty laughs and on-target observations about relationships, aging, and holidays with estranged families. Burgess Meredith is a hoot as Lemmon’s father. After the ending, stick around for the outtakes over the closing credits.

“National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation” (1988) – Here we have Chevy Chase doing his hapless family guy persona, Beverly D’Angelo as his long-suffering wife, and a situation where anything that can go wrong probably will. While you’re watching this, think “How many of these things have happened to me?” I can always come up with a few.

“A Christmas Story” (1982) – “I triple-dog-dare ya!” This one brings back many of my own childhood Christmas memories, especially Darren McGavin’s hilarious portrayal of The Old Man. And how many of us lusted after that one special gift we just had to have, like Ralphie with his Red Ryder BB gun? I was guilty of the “F-dash-dash-dash word” thing when I was his age, too. If you can’t catch this one at least once over the holidays, you’re probably living on Mars.

“When Harry Met Sally” (1989) – Rob Reiner’s ode to contemporary romance makes the list because the big finish takes place on New Year’s Eve. Billy Crystal and Meg Ryan are besties who avoid a romantic relationship because they think two friends who become emotionally involved can’t possibly make it work—or can they? Nora Ephron’s script contains her usual insightful prose, and the music by Harry Connick, Jr. sets the right mood. And let us not forget “I’ll have what she’s having.”

“The Bishop’s Wife” (1947) – This overlooked Christmas gem stars Cary Grant, Loretta Young and David Niven. A church Bishop (Niven) neglects his wife, family and congregation because of his single-minded pursuit of building a new cathedral. Along comes Grant as a suave angel named Dudley to remind him of what’s really important in life. There are laughs, charm, and some genuinely touching moments. Remade as “The Preacher’s Wife” with Whitney Houston and Denzel Washington.

“Planes, Trains and Automobiles” (1987) – This John Hughes road movie for grownups is a lot of fun. Steve Martin is an uptight businessman trying to get home to Chicago for Thanksgiving, but one delay after another pops up to aggravate him. The main distraction is John Candy as a well-meaning but overbearing salesman whom Martin ends up traveling with. Lots of laughs abound as Martin makes getting home to his family his personal crusade, in spite of the albatross around his neck. Watch for the “Those aren’t pillows!” scene about a half-hour in.

“A Charlie Brown Christmas” (1965) – Not technically a movie, but a sentimental favorite nonetheless. I’ve been watching this since it premiered in 1965 (when I first saw it in glorious black-and-white—talk about dating myself!). The simplistic animation adds to the charm, as does Vince Guaraldi’s jazzy soundtrack. This was the first attempt at animating Charles Schulz’s beloved Peanuts characters. The message about the real meaning of Christmas still resonates, and hopefully influences a new batch of kids each year.

By Ashley Lister

Well done. If you’re reading this, it means you’ve got to the final month of 2021 and the end is in sight. This accomplishment is no mean achievement. We have had two years of WTF moments including pandemics, lockdowns, political upheaval and more deaths than any of us wanted.

So, congratulations on your good fortune and tenacity. Let’s see how we can build on that to make 2022 a massive improvement for all of us. And, the best way any of us can improve things is by taking care of ourselves. Here I’m going to myth-bust some self-care tips that are supposed to help those of us who’ve used up the last of their determination to get this far and give you the advice that I know will really help. (NB: I Have no qualifications for giving this advice and cannot guarantee that it will help in any way).

1. Exercise Regularly. I don’t understand why this is on so many lists. I go to the gym regularly but only so I can tell people I go to the gym regularly. This is the only health benefit. I wear a FitBit to monitor my heartrate and sleeping patterns, but I don’t bother looking at it if I’ve skipped the gym for a day or two, or overdone the beer. The advice should be: exercise as regularly as suits your needs. Walk a dog. Wank. Dance a little. (But try not to do all three of these at the same time).

2. Eat and drink with health in mind. I don’t like to throw the word ‘bullshit’ into a conversation so early, but: BULLSHIT. I’ve made it through the lockdowns on a diet of bourbon, croissants and chocolate bars. I’m not trying to say this is always a healthy option but, if I’d been expected to graze on kale and lentils, I’d have given up during the first week of the 2020 pandemic. Eat and drink what makes you happy. If that happiness comes with a cost of adverse health implications, make sure you’re aware of them and balance the choice judiciously.

3. Practice relaxation techniques. One of the things that has often heightened my stress has been the pressure I put on myself to be able to master relaxation techniques. Trying to think of nothing is impossible. Trying to concentrate on my breathing just makes me think of respiratory illnesses. I find the most useful relaxation technique I know is going to sleep. I appreciate this is difficult for some people with insomnia and sleep difficulties but those guys need to seek the advice of a trusted medical expert to help them overcome those issues. The rest of us should simply chillax and take a much deserved nap.

4. Avoid Internalised Negativity. This is one of the few ones in which I do believe. When I drop something in the kitchen, I will call myself every name under the sun and berate myself with an internal monologue such as, “You clumsy fucking halfwit! Are you too dumb to operate a teabag nowadays?” The thing is, this sort of self-talk is not particularly helpful. I wouldn’t let my worst enemy talk to me in such a way, yet I’m internalising negativity because I think it’s acceptable. It’s not and I’d advocate for everyone to stop bad-mouthing themselves in such a way.

5. Leave a positive review for your favourite author. This isn’t going to reduce your stress in any way, but you’ll make an author happy. And, if you don’t think that’s a good thing to do with your day, you’re clearly an evil person in need of genuine self-care advice.

I love writing flirting scenes in my romances. There’s something sensual and erotic about two people engaging in teasing and verbal jousting when they feel that initial spark and decide they’d like to know each other better. Sometimes you can radiate more heat with a few lines of suggestive dialogue than with a paragraph of in-your-face eroticism. Not that there’s anything wrong with that.

Flirting is all part of creating sexual tension with your characters. I think it’s safe to assume that most of us write something more substantial than “wham-bam-thank-you-ma’am” in our romances, whether the encounters are erotic or sweet. It should be everything leading up to a fulfilling, mutually satisfying encounter. Full-on intercourse implies emotional intimacy, and commitment. Erotic foreplay is building up to the ultimate “deed,” and it can range from sensual to scorching.

It all has to do with conflict, both internal and external, and creating barriers to the characters having sex. Internal conflict arises from beliefs or an emotional wound that prevents a character from consummating the relationship, such as fear of rejection or a deep-seated moral quandary. External conflict comes from parameters outside the character and could be any number of things, like environment, bad timing, or family/peer pressure.

When does this sexual tension begin? Immediately when the characters first meet, begin talking, and start getting acquainted. The dance of sexual tension should be a metaphor for the act of sex itself. Start slow, gradually build, then eventually end in orgasmic climax, while teasing your readers along the way. Here’s an example from one of my sexy private eye thrillers, “Lido Key.” If this doesn’t put you in mind of “Body Heat” or “Double Indemnity,” you probably aren’t a fan of film noir:

When Vic locked eyes with Ariel Weston across the bar, there was no escape. He moved to the stool next to hers, drawn in like a marlin hooked by a determined fisherman. “Excuse me, Miss, but I’m new in town. Could you please direct me to your house?”

She began with a chuckle that escalated into full-blown laughter, then she playfully smacked Vic’s forearm. “That’s so lame, it’s cute!”

“Thank you.”

Her eyes scanned him up and down. “I don’t think I’ve seen you around here before, have I?” she asked in a low, smoky voice.

“No. Do I need a reservation to sit here?”

She laughed again. “A smart-ass. I like that quality in a man. Where are you from, smart-ass?”

“A whole other world. Would you like me to provide references before we go any further?”

She placed her hand on his on top of the bar. Her gaze radiated more sensual intensity. “I don’t think that’ll be necessary, but since we’re going to be friends, I think I should call you something more formal than smart-ass.”

“Are we going to be friends?”

“Unless you think you already have enough of them.”

“You can never have too many friends. Why don’t you call me Blake?”

“Is that your real name?”

“No, my real name is Vic. I just use Blake to fool people. What should I call you besides totally hot?”

“I like that, but let’s go with Ariel.”

“Pretty name.”

“Thank you. I’m rather attached to it.” She massaged his hand. “I should tell you something, Vic. I’m married to a rich older man, we don’t have any kids and we’ve always had separate bedrooms. He doesn’t really notice if I’m not home, since he’s only there long enough to change clothes before he meets his latest girlfriend. He doesn’t ask me any questions and I don’t grill him about where he drops his pants. Does that bother you?”

“One man’s ignorance is another man’s bliss.”

“Ooh, a clever smart-ass. That’s another quality I like.”

“And we’re just getting started.”


As you can see from that example, the key is using language to build erotic tension. It’s metaphorical sex play to introduce sexual talk into mundane conversations. Make it more fluid, lyrical, and sensual than regular dialogue. Grammar rules typically go out the window in the throes of passion when you’re trying to convey feelings. Establish a cadence and a rhythmic pacing, be more lyrical, and note the sound of the words.

It’s important to pay attention to connotations, and be aware of what a word means to a given group. As an example, there’s a slang word used in erotic literature that refers to a part of the female anatomy (begins with “c,” rhymes with “hunt”). A lot of American readers find it offensive, but in some European cultures, it’s considered commonplace and used in everyday language. The lesson here is research your market. You want to use words that will arouse pleasure while conveying something about the characters, but you don’t want to alienate people, either.

By way of a parting example, here’s a brief passage from the romantic comedy, “The Sweet Distraction”:

“I should probably go,” George said. “I’m cutting into your tanning time.”

“Why do you have to run off?” Cookie teased.

“Because I’m working.”

“You know what they say about all work and no play.”

“I always make time to play.”

“Like what?”

“Poker, blackjack, the ponies once in a while…”

“Are you good at picking winners?”

“I find it depends on who’s holding the riding crop.”

“Ooh, is that a kinky side coming out of hiding?”

He winked. “I’ll never tell.”

“I like to play, too.”

“What games do you like to play, little girl?”

“Pass-out, strip dominoes, escaped convict and the Warden’s wife…”

“Those are a little out of my league.”

“Maybe you should move up from Little League to the majors. That’s where they play night games.”

“Is this where you ask me if I know how to whistle, then tell me to just put my lips together and blow?”

She raised her sunglasses and looked at him. “I can think of a much better use for your lips.”

by Ashley Lister

We all understand that writer’s block is the state of being unable to proceed with writing, or the inability to start writing something new. Whilst some tell us it’s a genuine disorder, there are others who claim it’s just a state of mind. Either way, we can all agree writer’s block is a condition that needs to be vanquished.

Clinical psychologists in the 1970s identified four common causes for writer’s block:

Excessively harsh self-criticism
Fear of comparison to other writers
Lack of external motivation, such as attention and praise
Lack of internal motivation, such as the desire to tell one’s story

As Val Penny points out in a recent blog post: “In other words, writer’s block stems from various feelings of discontent with the creative act of writing. But these feelings are by no means irreversible! After all, every writer begins with a sense of purpose and excitement; beating writer’s block is about getting those feelings back.”

Consequently, here are five tips to help break through the block.

1. Avoid Perfectionism
Remember, as Hemingway remarked, “The first draft of anything is shit.”
I believe this is true in several areas of life, and I say this with the confidence that comes from being the second child in the family. Wanting to achieve perfection is a laudable ideal. But don’t let the quest for perfection stop you from producing a shit first draft that can then be polished for your audience’s consumption. Without that first draft – nothing is going to happen.

2. Change Your Weapon of Choice
If you’ve been working on a word-processor, consider changing to paper and pen. Or try dictating your story into a voice-to-text app. If you’ve been using MS Word, consider a writer-focused tool such as Scrivener. Sometimes we suffer from writer’s block because a part of our mind is rebelling against contemptible familiarity and changing our weapon of choice for recording our ideas can give us a boost that lifts us away from the ennui of the overly familiar.

3. Don’t Write
I appreciate this is what we’re already doing when we have writer’s block, and I understand this is a dangerous piece of advice that can be used as an excuse to compound the condition. However, sometimes we need to stop writing so we have a chance to recharge the batteries of our imagination. Watching a film, reading a book, visiting friends or taking an invigorating walk can provide the stimulus we need to bypass the issue causing a stumbling block to our creativity.

4. Creative Exercises
As a lecturer, I repeatedly throw exercise at my students and, to my constant surprise, students invariably come back with imaginative and stylish responses. This is usually done in the dry and imaginatively-inconducive atmosphere of a classroom/lecture hall: an area that is possibly the antithesis of creativity. Perhaps a creative writing exercise won’t help you complete your current project but it might be enough to remind you that your imagination and abilities are still formidable. It could even provide an idea for a project that might be more in line with your current storytelling needs.

5. Fail to Plan or Plan to Fail
If your story is dead in the water, take a structured approach and write an outline. Identifying how a story will develop can help to avoid future blocks on the same project. There are lots of ways to look at story structure, from Campbell, Propp, Vogler or Freytag, and any of them can provide a helpful template which you can use as a blueprint for your work. Once you know where the story is going, and how characters are going to get from the beginning to the end, it can be easier to approach writing about their journey.

Keep in mind that none of these are foolproof, but this list is not exhaustive. If you’re struggling with writer’s block, remember it’s not terminal and it can always be beaten by time, patience, and resolution. And, if you have a preferred way to beat writer’s block, I’d love to read about it in the comments below.

Ash