Elizabeth Black

Writer’s Block, Accomplishments, and Other Things

Elizabeth Black writes in a wide variety of genres including erotica, erotic romance, horror, and dark fiction. She lives on the Massachusetts coast with her husband, son, and her two cats.

Web site: http://elizabethablack.blogspot.com

Facebook:https://www.facebook.com/elizabethablack

Twitter:http://twitter.com/ElizabethABlack

Amazon Author Page: https://www.amazon.com/author/elizabethblack

Newsletter: http://eepurl.com/b76GWD

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What do you write when you have nothing to say? Sometimes it helps to get out of your head. Step. Away. From. The. Computer. Go outdoors. Visit friends. Recharge your internal batteries so your writing will improve.

I don’t get writer’s block. One of my favorite writers of all time is mojo storyteller Joe Lansdale. He believes that writer’s block is largely a myth. I know plenty of people disagree with that, and that’s fine. I have my own issues with his view but I largely agree with him.

Lansdale says a major rule of writing is to stop making excuses. If you wait for your muse to inspire you you’ll wait forever. Establish a routine. Write a set amount of words each time you sit down – even if they are crap. You can edit later. Just get your thoughts out. You may surprise yourself.

I’ve recently tried my hand at crime writing for the first time. This is a brand new experience for me since I’m not familiar with the genre except for my love for cozy mysteries, whodunnits, and crime dramas. I’m not familiar with the markets, but I will be soon enough. I love Agatha Christie, Janet Evanovich, Sue Grafton, Jonathan Kellerman, and many more writers in those genres. I figured it was about time I wrote something criminal. Not criminally bad, just criminal. 🙂

At first, I didn’t know what to write. I had some ideas, though. I found one of my Sisters In Crime books and read some of the short stories to engage myself. I highly recommend reading good fiction in your chosen genre if you feel stuck. Sometimes seeing things from another writer’s perspective can help you find your own way.

Lansale recommends reading when you feel a need to take time off. He wrote when you read, “you put fuel in the tank and you begin to better understand how stories are constructed.” I often read erotic short stories to inspire my own erotic writing. I’ve read erotic versions of fairy tales to prepare myself for my own upcoming collection of erotic fairy tales. It’s fun to read the usual stories from other character’s points of view. Reading a book that makes me go “Hmmm” always elicits a fun response from me.

Another thing I do when I write is to plan first. I’m primarily a pantser but when it comes to writing mysteries I need to plot. Mysteries are puzzles and I can’t just wing one. I need to know everyone’s story and who the guilty person it right out the gate before I begin writing. So outlining helps me. If you feel you are stuck, try writing a vague outline depicting where you want your story to go. You can always change things as you write. Don’t feel you need to stick strictly to your outline. Half the fun of writing is not knowing where things are going until you get to them. Some of my best work came from ideas out of left field – stuff I wasn’t expecting.

I love the feeling of accomplishment I get when I finish the first draft of a story or novel. I celebrate by sharing a bottle of Mumm champagne with my husband. We drink champagne all the time, but I get out the more expensive bubbly for these occasions. Mumm is special and therefore I drink it following writing milestones. Do you celebrate your accomplishments, no matter how small? Remember Stephen King’s novel Misery? Paul Sheldon drank one glass of champagne and enjoyed a cigarette after finishing each novel. I like that idea – celebrate your wins. Give yourself a pat on the back. You deserve it. Lots of people say they will write a novel or a short story. Lots of people never get any farther than that. Don’t give in to writer’s block. Find a way to turn the tables on it and own your writing and especially your accomplishments.

Fall Is Almost Here

Elizabeth Black writes in a wide variety of genres including erotica, erotic romance, horror, and dark fiction. She lives on the Massachusetts coast with her husband, son, and her two cats.

Web site: http://elizabethablack.blogspot.com

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/elizabethablack

Twitter: http://twitter.com/ElizabethABlack

Amazon Author Page: https://www.amazon.com/author/elizabethblack

Newsletter: http://eepurl.com/b76GWD

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Summer is nearly over, and I can tell fall is coming. The signs are all there. I’m going to miss summer. While I enjoy spring and summer, I also enjoy fall. I am not fond of winter since we get nor’easters that dump tons of snow on us. I like snow that looks pretty and doesn’t clog up the sidewalks and roads. I hate ice. But it’s coming and I must prepare for it.

The air is getting cooler following August’s ripe heat here on the northeast coast of Massachusetts. The farmer’s markets are wrapping up for the season. I’ll know for sure when fall is over when Dairy Maid Ice Cream and Seaside Subs & Pizza close for the season. I like to get a kiddie-sized twist soft serve in a cup from Dairy Maid. Seaside Subs has the best pizza I’ve ever tasted. It is called the Surfside Six and it includes the following toppings: sea clams, basil, bacon, parmesan, mozzarella, all in a garlic sauce. This was my first garlic sauce pizza and I’m hooked.

The moment I saw my first titmouse of the season is when I knew for sure fall was coming. Titmice are little birds that I often see hanging around with the chickadees which also tend to disappear here during the summer. This is a titmouse:

I also see the purple loosestrife along the roadsides. That plant is an invasive species that can crowd the earth but it’s a very pretty plant. Tall purple spikes stand out amid all the green and brown alongside the road. This is purple loosestrife:

Goldenrod also signals the end of the summer season. I’m seeing it more often on the roadsides and in meadows now. People are not allergic to goldenrod despite somewhat popular belief. They are allergic to ragweed, which looks similar. Goldenrod gets a bad rap. Here is some goldenrod.

The last way I know fall is on its way and summer is winding down is when I see sandpipers on the beach. For some odd reason I don’t see them here during the summer. Only in the spring and fall. I thought they were year-round birds but I guess they aren’t. They’re adorable. They travel in flocks and they never sit still. I always see them at the water’s edge, pecking around for any morsels they can find. Her are some sandpipers at Good Harbor Beach, which isn’t far from my home.

I’m sorry to see summer go, but fall brings pumpkins, apple cider, maple syrup and candy and my favorite holiday – Halloween. I will walk on the beach as long as I can before the temps freeze too much to go outside. Until then, I’m enjoying what’s left of summer.

Going Fangirl On Writers

Elizabeth Black writes in a wide variety of genres including erotica, erotic romance, horror, and dark fiction. She lives on the Massachusetts coast with her husband, son, and her two cats.

Web site: http://elizabethablack.blogspot.com

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/elizabethablack

Twitter: http://twitter.com/ElizabethABlack

Amazon Author Page: https://www.amazon.com/author/elizabethblack

Newsletter: http://eepurl.com/b76GWD

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I just returned from Necon, which is a New England convention for writers held every July in Portsmouth, Rhode Island. It’s mostly for horror but science fiction and fantasy are also covered. The thing I like best about cons like Necon is that they are very informal. You don’t have to wait hours in a queue and pay hundreds of dollars to get a celebrity writer to sign a book or photograph for you. Everyone is on equal footing. It’s like an informal party held at a friend’s house, but with books.

Another convention I had gone to that was in a similar vein was the Stanley Hotel Writers Retreat. That one is also for horror, obviously since it was held in the hotel that inspired Stephen King to write The Shining. It was just as informal and relaxed, but in a spookier and more scenic setting.

This year’s Guest of Honor at Necon was Dana Cameron, who wrote the Emma Fielding mysteries that were made into movies on Hallmark Movies and Mysteries. Her main character is an archeologist. You may have seen these movies and/or read her books. If you haven’t, look her up on Amazon. She wrote Sight Unseen and Past Malice, for starters. I discovered her after my husband and I saw the two movies on Hallmark. I’d never heard of her and bought one of her books. Turns out she lives in Boston, is friendly with New England writers I already know, and has a Facebook page. Of course I friended her. When I met in her person at Necon we chatted quite a bit and she signed the book for me. She’s also agreed to appear on a podcast with Marsha Casper Cook and I. We’re scheduling that for the near future.

Another guest was Charlaine Harris, who wrote the Sookie Stackhouse books the TV series True Blood is based on. I discovered her books after getting hooked on the show. I liked how she took vampires and made them like ordinary people. They pay taxes. They need car repairs. They unclog the sink. Normal stuff. She was unable to appear on the podcast but she signed one of her Sookie Stackhouse books for me. I loved hearing her talk about world building and her characters when she was on a panel.

It’s always fun to meet your favorite writers in person. Talking to them makes them feel more accessible and it takes the “OMG!” feeling away. After, all they are just as human as we are. They shower. Drink whisky. Eat meals. Tend to their kids, spouses, partner, etc. Networking is good and meeting people, especially writers you admire, at a convention is one way to do it.

When I first emailed and talked to Joe R. Lansdale I was over the moon. He’s one of my favorite writers. He wrote the books the Sundance TV series Hap and Leonard was based on. I’ve read most of those books. He also wrote Bubba Hotep and An Incident On And Off A Mountain Road, both of which were either turned into movies or TV episodes. He was both friendly and funny. He appeared on my podcast twice and he was a pleasure to talk to each time. I kept my giggling and hyperventilating in check.

I’m always happy to meet writers I admire, and I’m especially happy to get them on my podcast. I haven’t done a podcast in quite a while and I’m ready to start up again. There are more conventions coming up this summer and fall and I’ll meet even more writers. These conventions feel like happy, informal parties and I welcome them. I tend to see the same people all the time so it’s like a reunion. I’m looking forward to the next one.

Maximizing Facebook For Writers

Elizabeth Black writes in a wide variety of genres including erotica, erotic romance, horror, and dark fiction. She lives on the Massachusetts coast with her husband, son, her two cats, a plethora of birds, a squirrel, and a chipmunk. Visit her web site, her Facebook page, and her Amazon Author Page. Sign up for her newsletter.

Read her short erotic story Babes in Begging For It, published by Cleis Press. You will also find her new novel No Restraint at Amazon. Coming soon: Happily Ever After: A Collection of Erotic Fairy Tales. Enjoy a good, sexy read today.

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Last month, I talked about using Twitter to maximize your author presence. This month, I’m going to talk about using Facebook to do the same. I prefer Facebook to Twitter because it’s more interactive and I don’t have a word limit on what I write. I also am in touch with all my writer, editor, and publisher friends on Facebook.

I have an author page but I don’t use it. Never got much use out of it. I prefer my regular timeline. I spent about a decade building that page so that’s where I hang out. I use my name alone but some authors include the word “author” with their names. Example: Elizabeth Black – Author.

My current profile picture is of one of my book covers. That works well to identify me. You could use a book cover or a recent head shot. I change profile pictures every month or so to keep things lively.

My banner is a photo of some of my book covers plus both of my pen names; Elizabeth Black for erotica and romance and E. A. Black for horror and dark fiction. My banner is eye-catching and it gets my point across that this is my page and here are examples of what I have written.

Like I said about Twitter, don’t make all your Facebook posts about your book. Endless book spam turns people off.  Talk about things that interest you. I talk about my cats, baking, the beach, gardening and much more. I also talk about my progress with my writing. Sometimes I’ll include an excerpt from what I’m working on to pique interest. A healthy mix of fun stuff and book stuff will inspire people to come to your page and talk to you. Ask questions. A few days ago, I posted about cotton candy grapes (yes, they are a thing and they really do taste like cotton candy). I asked if anyone had eaten them and if they liked them. Responses ranged from “Delicious!” to “Eww!” LOL That’s how you get a conversation going.

Update daily or at least frequently. I update several times per day. I also respond to other people’s timeline posts. Some writers talk about politics on their timelines. I don’t. I want my timeline to be neutral ground. In my opinion, it’s risky to talk about politics on your timeline since you may alienate potential readers. Not everyone feels that way. If you want to cull your friends list, go on a religious or political rant. That guarantees you’ll lose a few friends. Sex, on the other hand, is game. Talk about it all you like, especially if you have something very interesting to say.

I’ve found that Facebook groups are by and large a waste of time, especially author groups. They are primarily book spam dumping grounds and no one reads them. You aren’t going to find readers on Facebook groups. If you are able to find groups where there are conversations, jump on them. Granted, they’re probably all writers but you can meet some interesting and valuable people in those groups. Organizations and events may have their own groups. I’m in a few horror groups that are busy. Keep in mind book promo may be prohibited except under specific circumstances. For instance, Wednesday is Pimp Your Book day in one of my horror groups. Writers are to keep their pimping to that particular post.

Facebook has its limits. For instance, the number of people who actually see your posts is quite small but use that to your advantage. It’s possible to meet people in the industry on Facebook and they often have valuable and interesting things to say. Like their posts and comment. Facebook is best when you use it to have conversations whether on your timeline or someone else’s. I’ve met many publishers and editors as well as authors on Facebook. Not agents, though. That’s Twitter.

Above all, enjoy Facebook. Don’t let it be a time suck and don’t let negative posts depress you. Read only what you want to read and engage those people. While Facebook  has its limitations, it can be useful.

Maximizing Twitter For Writers

Twitter can be a pain in the butt but it does have its uses. I’ve recently begun using it much more often. I find plenty of writers, agents, and publishers on Twitter. With the help of some good hashtags, I’m finally gaining some readers. There are hashtags for every day of the week. Here are the hashtags I use:

#MotivationalMonday – It’s what it says it is. I post what motivates me to write.

#1lineWed – Post one (or a few) lines from a WIP or new book.

#novelines – Post some of your best lines from a WIP or new book.

#FolkloreThursday – Since I write erotic fairy tales I take stock of this one. I post information about  unusual and obscure folklore and myths. There is often a theme. Follow it.

#indiethursday – More lines from WIPs or new books

#FF – This one always garners retweets and comments. FF stands for Follow Friday. I link to about fifteen people whose tweets matter to me.

#FollowFriday – See above.

#FicFri – More lines from WIPs or new books. This stands for Fiction Friday.

#FictFri – See above.

#SlapDashSat – No themes! No rules! Only freeform writing! Pull dialogue, character descriptions, opening lines, slam poetry, secret confessions, original song lyrics, etc. from the deep recesses of your mind, from your WIP, from the ether… the sky’s the limit (Hell, go byond the damned sky)!

#badwordsat – Use naughty words. Works well for erotica.

#amediting – It’s exactly what it says it is. Tell what you’re editing.

#amwriting – One of the most useful hashtags. Talk about what you’re writing. Talk about WIPs.

#WritingLife – Talk about your writing life; your goals, dreams, writing area, anything.

#WhatToRead – Drop your book info here or recommend books to read.

#amreading – What are you reading? Talk about it.

#reading – See above.

Post memes, photos, book covers and other graphics to make your tweets stand out.  Nothing is as lonely-looking than a plain-text tweet.

I also post hashtags for genres such as #horror, #erotica, #fairytales, and #romance. Limit yourself to no more than three hashtags. Lots of hashtags look annoying and they may be considered spam.

Remember to respond to people who respond to your tweets. Also visit their Twitter pages and follow them if they seem like someone you’d be interested in, or especially if they seem like a possible reader.

I’ve started using manageflitter.com to keep track of people I’m following and those following me. You may trim your follow list by using the following categories:

Not Following You

No Profile Image

Non-English

Inactive

I’m still getting used to this site. There is much more to manageflitter than those four categories, but I am not acquainted with it yet.

Whatever you do, don’t make your twitter feed endless links to your books. You’ll bore people to death and you won’t gain any readers. Your twitter feed will be viewed as spam. Instead, pick a few topics that interest you. In my case, that’s gardening, baking, birding (I have window bird feeders that provide endless hours of entertainment), movies, television, and music. Provide links to interesting articles. Include memes (especially funny ones) that appeal to you that you think would interest your readers. Post quotes from famous people. Within all that, you may post info about your books but don’t force them on your readers. If you have new writing news or a new book coming out, by all means post about it. But don’t post about only it.

Twitter can be useful. It can also be a huge time suck. I confine myself to 15 minutes twice per day. I tend to not post on weekends. Look at Twitter in a new way and make the most of the platform. Engage in conversation. That’s what Twitter is all about. It’s social media – be sociable. And enjoy yourself.

Long-Term Relationships v. The Thrill of the Chase

Elizabeth Black writes in a wide variety of genres including erotica, erotic romance, horror, and dark fiction. She lives on the Massachusetts coast with her husband, son, and her two cats. Visit her web site, her Facebook page, and her Amazon Author Page. 

Read her short erotic story Babes in Begging For It, published by Cleis Press. You will also find her new novel No Restraint at Amazon. Enjoy a good, sexy read today.

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I recently celebrated my 25thanniversary of the day I met my husband. We’ve been married for 13 years. Our relationship is a bit unusual in that we lived together for over a decade before marrying for no reason in particular. We were living our lives and were too lazy and busy to have the ceremony and sign the paperwork. When we finally tied the knot, I joked I married him for his health insurance.

Long-term relationships are different from initial romantic attraction. I’m sure readers have noticed – and wanted – that most romances are about that initial romantic attraction leading to a HEA or HFN ending. Serials are popular because readers becoming invested in characters they grew to love when those characters first met.

Limerance according to Wikipedia is “a state of mind which results from a romantic attraction to another person and typically includes obsessive thoughts and fantasies and a desire to form or maintain a relationship with the object of love and have one’s feelings reciprocated.” The heart-palpating rush when you hear your shiny new lover’s name and how your pupils dilate when you see that person is limerance. Limerance is that infatuation stage you find in budding romantic relationships. It’s good to remember this fevered state does not last long.

Romance readers love that feeling of infatuation they get when they read about their favorite characters. They can live vicariously through the stages of the character’s relationship, from initial attraction to conflict to honeymoon phase to a deeper and satisfying longevity. It helps to remember that the fevered intensity of a budding relationship is a temporary thing, and that when the high settles that doesn’t mean you are falling out of love. It means the love is deepening.

Over the years, my husband and I have learned from each other and we’ve changed in ways that have benefited our marriage. Jealousy isn’t an issue for us. Jealousy is a common feeling in newer relationships. I’ve been jealous in some of my past relationships, even in one case of going out to dinner several times with another man to make the man I was interested in jealous. It didn’t work. That relationship did not last.

I see and accept my husband’s flaws, and he does the same for me. There is very little he does that gets under my skin. I certainly don’t see him as a knight in shining armor which may be a feeling you have for your partner in a newer relationship. Your love interest can do no wrong and you feel that person is perfect in every way. It’s the old rose-colored glasses phenomenon.

As you get to know the person you love, you will find conflicts in personal views, taste, habits, and even how to raise children. During infatuation you see only the good things about your partner. When the not-so-good things rear up, don’t panic. You’re only finding out your love is human.

When written well, romances depict all of these stages and in the HEA ending, the couple successfully deals with conflict and grows in the process. Conflict is necessary to grow. It doesn’t have to mean fighting. It means the characters are removing those rose-colored glasses and are seeing each other as they really are, warts and all. Accepting those warts (the ones that are acceptable – I’m not talking about abusive relationships) and not trying to change the other person are both important qualities in a healthy, long term relationship.

The whirlwind of romance is a wonderful feeing that can be experienced when reading romance novels. The reader puts herself into the main character’s shoes and experiences what that character feels. It’s a safe way of experiencing the ups and downs of a relationship without actually being in one. In your own case, just remember that although the passion inevitably dies down, a deeper love will flourish in the healthiest relationships. And that’s what matters most.

Dealing With Yet Another Rejection

Elizabeth Black writes in a wide variety of genres including erotica, erotic romance, horror, and dark fiction. She lives on the Massachusetts coast with her husband, son, and her two cats. Visit her web site, her Facebook page, and her Amazon Author Page. 

Her m/m erotic medical thriller Roughing It is a sexy cross between The X Files, The Andromeda Strain, and Outbreak. Read her short erotic story Babes in Begging For It, published by Cleis Press. You will also find her new novel No Restraint at Amazon. Enjoy a good, sexy read today.

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I recently received an agent rejection for a novel that let me down very much. The notes this agent left me threw me for a loop. She was critical of things that are integral to the book, such as my main character’s personality. I don’t want to change that. Besides, a drastic change like that would require a complete overhaul of the book and I am unwilling to do that. Some people may not like that character but that doesn’t mean everyone won’t.

Rejections are often painful but sometimes they hurt like hell. Not getting into an anthology I had great hope for can be a big let-down. That has happened to me several times. Getting bombed by several rejections in a row over a short period of time can be devastating. I usually wallow in my misery for a few days, and then I get back to work.

What works to get out of the doldrums when yet another rejection hits your mailbox?

Get away from the computer. Leave social media alone for a few days. Only answer urgent mail. Facebook and Twitter can be annoying and depressing anyway so a break of any substantial amount of time may be looked at as a good thing.

Read something for enjoyment. Don’t read something that reminds you too much of your book or of the genre you write. I’ve been reading mysteries lately for fun. Lilian Jackson Brown’s cat series and the Stephanie Plum books by Janet Evanovich are great fun. I tried to read “House Of Leaves” but that book is so confusing I tossed it aside. I need to give it another chance. It’s supposed to be a terrifying read, but it reads like a dissertation to me since this is a fictional horror novel that includes footnotes!

I like to bake. Rather than binge on chocolate and sweets, I bake them and give them to my friends and family. Oh, believe me, I do enjoy my own chocolate almond biscotti and cranberry scones. I won’t deny myself, but it is fun for me to get in the kitchen and bake.

Clean the house. It usually needs it. I’m rewarded with a clean house when I finish and mopping the floor takes my mind off my writing.

Enjoy some TV or a movie at home or in a cinema. My husband and I recently saw the new “Tomb Raider” movie. It wasn’t great but I liked it since I’m a huge fan of the game series. We’ve also been binge-watching “Hap and Leonard”, which is easy for me to watch since it’s nothing like my writing. And I’m a Joe Lansdale fan. I interviewed him twice for podcasts. He was a great guest.

Here’s a switch – listen to the criticism. The critic may be right, especially if you hear the same thing from several critics. Make changes that are necessary and you will likely end up with a better work. Editors and agents don’t usually leave detailed feedback. When they do, it means they believe your work has merit but simply isn’t right for them for particular reasons. I relish getting rejections with feedback. I often take the feedback to heart, change the piece, and then see it published later.

Talk to other writers. You’ll see you’re not alone. All writers face rejection. Everyone deals with it in different ways. Being around other creative people may help you keep tings in perspective.

Above all, remember how much you enjoy writing. It keeps your mind alert and it helps you get your thoughts and feelings down on paper. I love writing because I’m good at it. Keep your rejections in perspective and carry on.

Ooh, Shiny!

Elizabeth Black writes in a wide variety of genres including erotica, erotic romance, horror, and dark fiction. She lives on the Massachusetts coast with her husband, son, and her two cats. Visit her web site, her Facebook page, and her Amazon Author Page. 

Her m/m erotic medical thriller Roughing It is a sexy cross between The X Files, The Andromeda Strain, and Outbreak. Read her short erotic story Babes in Begging For It, published by Cleis Press. You will also find her new novel No Restraint at Amazon. Enjoy a good, sexy read today.

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It’s been a bit of an adventure for the past three weeks. I was sick with a nasty head cold for two weeks. Then, going into the third week, the car died. While my husband and I were driving on the highway. In traffic. At 60 MPH. I’d never been so scared in my whole life. Our old Honda Civic Esmerelda served us well but we needed a new used car. Fast.

We bought a 2004 VW Bug. I’ve always wanted a Bug and now we have a blue one we named Zhaan after the big blue bitch on the Australian TV show Farscape. This car is very nice and we’re blinging it up. I have crystals hanging from the rear view mirror. We bought a bud vase! You can’t have a Bug without a bud vase although the newer ones don’t include it. That’s a sacrilege in my opinion. I bought fresh flowers for the house and put one in the bud vase. Here it is, on the dash.

We have veteran’s plates, but if we ever get vanity plates I want one that says “Bugasm”. Or one that says “Feature”. Get it? It’s a Feature, not a Bug? LOL

So this got me to thinking about new beginnings. It’s the beginning of the year so I wanted to see how I could change this year so that it is better than last year. 2017 sucked. I’m going to make 2018 better. So far, I’ve submitted five short stories to submission calls. They’re about equal between erotic fiction and horror. Six if you count the one that I submitted two years ago and it’s still under consideration. I’m not pulling it because this particular horror anthology is like Ahab’s White Whale and I really want to be in it. It’s just delayed. The book isn’t getting published until 2019, but I’m very patient.

I’m working on a seventh short horror story right now as well as my collection of erotic fairy tales. I plan to release the fairy tale book during the summer. I need someone to create a Table of Contents (I don’t know how to do that for a Kindle book) and I need a book cover. I also need to do some pre-release marketing. Hopefully this book will sell better than the two books I released a couple of years ago. They tanked. I need some good news. Fairy tales do well so I have great hope for this book.

I also just received my final edits for a mystery/suspense novel I’m working on. I have a lot of work to do on it yet, but I have confidence I can finish it in a month or two. Then I submit that book to agents and a few very good top notch indie publishers. I’m very proud of this book and I have great hope for it.

I think I’m off to a good start. A handful of short story submissions and two books. As these works get published, I’ll write to tell my readers where you may find them. Keeping my fingers crossed I’ll have more good publishing news very soon.

Women Who Refuse To Take Their Husband’s Surnames

I found this article about women who did not take their husband’s surnames upon marriage interesting and I do agree with it to some extent. I took my first husband’s surname. That marriage ended in an ugly divorce. I kept my maiden name when I married my second husband, and we’re going strong over 20 years later. Take all that as you like.

I kept my maiden name because it’s my name. I am already known well by that name. I used it for my past political and feminist writing. I am aware of the irony of my maiden name coming from my father – another man – but I didn’t sign over my identity by changing my name upon marriage. That’s how I see name changing for me personally. I already have an identity and I didn’t want the hassle of changing a multitude of legal forms. I could have taken my maiden name as my middle name and my husband’s name as my married name but I rejected that, too. I did that for my first marriage. Switching back and forth before and after that marriage was a pain in the ass.

The problem is that the description of men whose wives do not take their surnames as being perceived as being “less masculine” in the article from the Independent seems to be seen as a negative thing. Far from it. How do we define what is masculine? The traditional definition seems to me to be somewhat harmful to men. Some positive attributes considered masculine include being assertive and ambitious. However, “Real” men are also strong who keep their emotions in check. Big boys don’t cry. Brute force is a positive thing. And what’s wrong with a man being seen as more feminine? A balance between stereotypes would go a long way towards showing more humanity.

Those who decried the research (the term “hostile sexism” was thrown about) thought of men whose wives did not take their surnames were “disempowered as a result of their wife’s decision.” That’s a load of crap.

This statement also intrigued me: “A woman’s marital surname choice therefore has implications for perceptions of her husband’s instrumentality, expressivity, and the distribution of power in the relationship,” explains lead author Rachael Robnett. My marriage is not traditional. The power is evenly distributed throughout our relationship. There is no God-ordained leader in my household. I’m not submissive and when I’m upset or angry I feel free to express myself without repercussions, unlike my first marriage. That’s not related to whether or not I took my husband’s name but due to the nature of each marriage.

I also kept my maiden name upon my second marriage because I had taken his surname for my first marriage. I had done it once and didn’t see a need to do it again. I also didn’t have a traditional white wedding for my second wedding. We had a nondenominational ceremony in our backyard with me in a green lace dress. The town clerk officiated. Our sons and my son’s best friend attended. Then we went inside, had my chocolate sachertorte wedding cake I had baked and watched Hellraiser. Hey, there are newlyweds in that movie! It’s appropriate!

I am probably viewed as non-traditional in my marriage, my actions, and beliefs. According to previous studies, “women who violate the marital surname tradition are viewed differently from others. They are described in terms of instrumental traits that in a gendered society are typically assigned to men. These include having a higher status, wielding more power, being more self-focused, ambitious and assertive. These traits contrast with the expressive characteristics that are typically assigned to women, such as being more nurturing, kind and having less influence and power.” My husband freely expresses his emotions like sadness and insecurity as well as anger. Why is anger seen as a masculine emotion? I see why nurturing is seen as feminine since women traditionally have raised children, but that is not an exclusively feminine characteristic.

My point in this rambling post is that keeping my maiden name was a personal choice between my husband and I with my feelings being paramount. Maybe it reflects the dynamics of my second marriage, maybe not. I just know that traditional definitions of masculinity and femininity can be harmful to both men and women. It’s time we viewed ourselves as individual human beings with our own wants and needs and not be held hostage by stereotypes.

Goals Not Resolutions

I read an interesting post on Facebook in which the writer asked everyone for their 2018 goals. Not resolutions. Goals. He said most people broke resolutions or never even bothered to attempt to meet them. Goals? More realistic and more likely to be attempted and fulfilled. So I asked myself, what are my goals for 2018?

Here are a few:

Finish my erotic fairy tales collection and self-publish it.

Publish my two erotic fairy tale novellas in print. These two books are Trouble In Thigh High Boots (erotic Puss In Boots) and Climbing Her Tower (erotic Rapunzel). You may find the ebooks at Amazon and Smashwords.

Finish my horror novel Hell Time.

Find an agent for my thriller novel Secrets and Lies.

Find a home for my bisexual werewolf erotic romance novel Full Moon Fever.

Send out my newsletter regularly.

Submit to a minimum of 5 submission calls in 2018. Bonus points if I publish at least 5 stories.

Join the YMCA and make an effort to swim and work out this winter and spring. My husband and I are joining the Y next week.

Head to the beach every day in late spring and summer to swim, walk, and otherwise get some fresh air and exercise especially after being cooped up in at home all winter.

Save enough money each paycheck to fund a trip to Europe most likely taken in 2019 or 2020.

Sell more books!

Make an effort to attend more book events like readings and conventions but only when money permits. Those events tend to cost more than I can afford.

Bake more. I didn’t bake enough in 2017 which is a shame since I enjoy baking very much. I didn’t bake as many cookies this year as I usually do so I shall remedy that in 2018. Here are the last two recipes I made – pumpkin bread and pizzelles. Pizzelles are anise-flavored Italian waffle cookies.

Pumpkin Bread

Ingredients

1 1/2 cups flour

1 teaspoon salt

1 cup sugar

1 teaspoon baking soda

1 cup pumpkin puree

1/2 cup olive oil ( can sub with canola or vegetable)

2 eggs, Beaten

1/4 cup water

1/2 teaspoon cinnamon

1/2 teaspoon nutmeg

1/2 teaspoon allspice

1/2 cup walnuts (optional)

Directions

  1. Preheat oven to 350°F.
  2. Sift together flour, salt, sugar, and baking soda.
  3. In a separate bowl combined pumpkin, oil, eggs, water, and spices.
  4. Then, combined with dry ingredients but, do not mix too thoroughly. Stir in walnuts.
  5. Pour into a well-buttered 9x5x3 inch loaf pan. Bake 50-60 minutes until a thin skewer poked in the very center of the loaf comes out clean. Turn out of the pan and let cool on a rack.
  6. Makes one loaf. Can easily double the recipe.
  7. If desired, you can use them in a muffin tin as well. They come out just as moist. If you use muffin tin bake for 20-25 minute.

Pizzelles

You need a pizzelle iron to make these cookies. I’m sure you can find one on eBay or at Amazon. I have an electric one that makes four pizzelle cookies at once. It’s over 30 years old. My mother gave it to me when she saw how much I loved those cookies. An Italian neighbor made them all the time.

Ingredients

3 large eggs

3/4 cup sugar

3/8 teaspoon salt

1 teaspoon vanilla

1 teaspoon anise extract

1 tablespoon anisette liqueur or Sambucca (optional)

1/4 cups anise seed

1 3/4 cups flour

2 teaspoons baking powder

1/2 cup (8 tablespoons) melted butter

Instructions

Beat the eggs, sugar, salt, and vanilla until well combined.

Stir in the flour and baking powder, mixing until smooth.

Add the melted butter, again mixing until smooth; the batter will be thick and soft.

Heat your pizzelle iron. Grease it as directed in the manufacturer’s instructions. As the iron heats, the batter will stiffen.

Cook the pizzelle according to the instructions that came with your iron. In general, they’ll take between 45 seconds and 2 1/2 minutes to brown.

Remove the pizzelle from the iron, and cool on a rack. If desired, use a pair of scissors to trim any ragged edges.

Dust cooled pizzelle with confectioners’ sugar, if desired.

Now that 2017 is drawing to a close, I’m ready for next year. 2017 was a bit of a slow and rather uneventful year for me writing-wise. I need to be more proactive. I plan on that starting Jan. 1 with my stint at Night Owl Reviews. I’m in an author chat that day at 8 PM EST. I’ll talk about my erotic romance novel No Restraint. Here’s the link to join in:

https://www.nightowlreviews.com/v5/Chats

See you there, and have a fantastic 2018!

Hot Chilli Erotica

Hot Chilli Erotica

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