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A Man In A Kilt
by Helen E.  H.  Madden © 2004

The first time we met, Jimmy called me a ‘wee lassie.' I swear it's the only time in my life anybody ever called me ‘wee', but that's what Jimmy kept calling me even after I stood up and towered over him by about seven inches.  We were at the Velvet Dark, a local hot spot for the fetish community.  I'd been going there every Saturday night for over six years, but that evening was Jimmy's first time.  He showed up on leather night wearing a pair of faded jeans and his favorite St.  Andrew's rugby shirt.  I think the only leather he owned back then was his belt.

We didn't talk much that evening.  The Glenlivet Jimmy drank made his brogue so thick I could barely comprehend a word he said.  But I understood the way he looked at me.  His stormy gray eyes wandered from my breasts to my face and back again.  When the music turned slow, Jimmy asked me to dance.  The top of his head only came up to my chin, but he didn't seem to mind.  I was wearing a kidskin corset, the kind that shoves the breasts up high and close together.  Mine were up so high my nipples kept popping out to play Peek-A-Boo.  Like a naughty little boy, Jimmy laughed and played right along with them as he rubbed up against me on the dance floor.

When we left the club, Jimmy slipped an arm around my waist and buried his face in my cleavage. "Take me home, lass," he murmured.  His wavy red hair tickled my chin as he nuzzled my breasts. "Ah'll spread yir legs and fuck ye ‘til ye scream! Ye know ye want me to..."

How could I say no to a proposition like that?

An hour later, Jimmy was moaning and swearing, straining against the leather straps I used to tie him to my bed.  The remains of his clothes lay on the floor next to the scissors I had used to remove them.  I sat between Jimmy's legs, playing with my clit while he watched.

"Dammit, untie me! Ah want to fuck!"

"I know what you want," I said. "But I'm not giving it to you."

I slipped my fingers between my legs, enjoying the feel of my own slick pussy.  I spread my knees wider to give Jimmy a better view.  His cock sprang up hard as a rock and he struggled again to get free.

"Ah'm not playing any fucking games here!" he shouted. "Untie me!"

"If that's what you want." I leaned over and pulled the quick-release on one of the wrist cuffs.  As soon as his arm was free, Jimmy grabbed at me.

"No!" I slapped his hand hard enough to make it sting.

"Ow! What the hell do ye mean ‘no'?"

"I mean I'll untie you, but then you walk out the door and that's it."

"Jesus Christ! Why can't Ah just have a simple fuck?"

"Because, lover.  If I give you what you want, you'll disappear as soon as we're done and I'll never see you again," I explained. "But if I give you what you need, you'll be mine forever."

Jimmy's face flushed bright red. "What the hell makes ye think Ah need to be tied to the fucking bed and tormented like some bitch?"

I looked at his cock, swaying like a flagpole in a high wind.  The tip was already leaking. "Trust me, you need this."

He stared at me, completely speechless.  I doubt a woman had ever said such things to him before.  While he lay there dumbfounded, I sat back between his legs and teased open the folds of my cunt.  When my fingers were good and sticky, I brought them to my mouth and licked them clean.  Jimmy's eyes got real big.

"It's your choice.  Do you want to stay, or go?"

He stayed.  Jimmy spent the rest of that night strapped to my bed.  He came three times and I never even had to touch him.  By morning he was mine.

Jimmy had never dated a Dom before.  I'm sure they have Doms back in Scotland.  He just never knew he needed one before he met me.  I spent six months showing him the ropes, the chains, the handcuffs...  well, you get the picture.  I took things slow at first.  Short though he was, Jimmy prided himself on being a big man, and guys like that can be skittish.  They don't always realize they're still big men even when they're down on their hands and knees with a butt plug tucked securely between their nether cheeks.

So I wasn't surprised when Jimmy balked at the idea of introducing me to his family and friends.  He wanted to keep his extra-curricular activities separate from his normal life, like they were two different worlds.  But as he soon found out, worlds have a habit of colliding.

We were at Jimmy's place one night when the phone rang.  Jimmy was kneeling on the floor with a spreader bar between his ankles.  I sat behind him, binding his wrists behind his back.  We were busy, so after the fourth ring, the machine answered for us.

"Hey Jimmy! It's yir brother! Pick up the phone!" Jimmy started as a Highlands brogue rang loud and clear over the answering machine.

"Sorry," I told the machine as I stood up to survey my handiwork. "Jimmy's a little tied up right now!"

"Nan!" Jimmy strained against the cotton ropes, trying to free his hands.

"Don't worry, love," I cooed as I guided his head to the floor.  His ass came up as his head went down, presenting me with a picture-perfect view of his anus, scrotum, and cock. "He can't hear me."

"Where the hell are ye?" the voice continued. "Nobody's seen ye in months, and Ah'm starting to worry.  Come down to the pub tomorrow night so Ah know yir not dead."

The phone clicked and the answering machine fell silent.  The only sounds in the room now came from Jimmy as he continued to struggle.

"You're never going to get free," I said as I knelt behind him and fastened a leather strap around his balls. "Why don't you just relax?"

Two pieces of lightweight chain dangled from the strap.  Jimmy gave a little moan as I hung a small weight between them.  With a push of the finger, I sent the weight swinging just a bit.  It tugged his balls back and forth as it swayed.

"Oh God Nan!" Jimmy gasped. "What are ye doing to me?"

"Something you'll like.  Trust me."

I waited while Jimmy bitched and moaned.  The weight gradually came to a stop and he calmed down a bit.  Then I slipped my fingers between his legs and started rubbing the sweet spot just behind his balls.  Jimmy moaned and rocked his hips, which sent the weight swinging again.

"Ah! Me baws, Nan! Please!"

"Now, now.  This doesn't hurt and I promise your family jewels won't fall off.  Oh, speaking of family, you never told me you had a brother!"

I continued to massage his perineum with one hand as I slid the other around his hips to stroke his cock.  Jimmy couldn't help himself.  He stiffened right up and pushed forward into my grasp.  The weight swung in a wider arc and Jimmy swore.

"Language, dear!" I chided him. "So what's your brother like? Is he nice?"

"He's just...  oh God...  he's okay..." Jimmy gasped.  I quit stroking his shaft and began toying with the Prince Albert dangling from the tip of his cock.  He shuddered as I twirled the shiny steel ring in and out of his urethra.  The piercing was my gift to Jimmy on our one-month anniversary, and I played with it every chance I got.

"He's okay, huh? Maybe you should take me to this pub tomorrow night so I can meet him."

"Ah, I don't know, Nan...  Oh God!" He jerked as I left off massaging his perineum and pressed a finger against his anus.

"Oh quit fussing! It's not like I'm exploring virgin territory here.  Besides, I've got plenty of lube." I let up on Jimmy's trap door long enough to grab the nearby tube of gel and flip the top open.  I squeezed out a dollop and slowly spread it between his cheeks. "So why won't you take me to see your brother? You too embarrassed to introduce me to your family?"

"No!" Jimmy's hips came up high as I teased the rim of his little brown hole.  The weight arced between his legs like a fortuneteller's pendulum.

"So why not take me to the pub?"

"Oh God Nan! Ah'll do whatever ye want!"

"I want to meet your brother tomorrow.  Think we can do that?"

This time I pinched the head of his cock.  Jimmy bucked uncontrollably and the weight swung wild.

"Yes! Yes! Please Nan! God please!"

"Good boy.  That's exactly what I wanted to hear," I said as I slipped a finger inside him.

*                *                *

Jimmy's older brother Hamish moved to the good ol' United States a few years back when a friend invited him to come work at his pub one summer.  The friend had a sister, a pretty red head named Maureen that Hamish fell in love with and soon married.  A year after they married, Maureen's brother sold the pub to Hamish.  A few months after that, Hamish bought Jimmy a one-way ticket to the States in hopes that his younger brother might find a nice American girl of his own and settle down.

It took me all night and most of the next day to coax these few details out of Jimmy.  He didn't want to talk about himself or his family.  Instead, he chose to bitch about other things.

"Ah thought ye were going to wear a skirt tonight."

Jimmy sat next to me in the car, drumming his fingers on the door handle.  He scowled at the frayed knees of my jeans as we waited at a stoplight.

"I hate wearing skirts," I told him. "Besides, you're wearing one already."

"It's a kilt, not a skirt!" Jimmy snapped. "And why the hell couldn't ye let me drive?"

"Because the last time I let you drive my car, you nearly killed us both by trying to drive on the wrong side of the road."

"It would have been the right side of the road if we'd been in Scotland!"

"Of course it would, dear."

I didn't know which side of the road was the right side in Scotland.  The fact was, beyond Sean Connery and single malt whiskey, I didn't know jack about Scotland.  I had no idea what a Wellie was and no desire to find out.  A haggis was the nasty bitch that lived next door to me, and as far as I was concerned, a Macintosh was just a computer.  And when it came to the more exotic aspects of life in the U.K., well let's just say I wouldn't have known a Spotted Dick if it jumped up and bit me in the ass.  At least not the kind you eat.

You know what I mean.

Anyway, I didn't know Scotland, but I did know Jimmy.  Even when he wouldn't talk, I had a pretty good idea what was going on inside him.

"So who are we going to see at this bar?" I asked as the light turned green.

"It's a pub, not a bar.  Just me brother and some old friends."

"Would any of those old friends happen to be old girlfriends?"

Jimmy grunted and stared out the window.

"Ah ha! So that's why your shorts are all in a knot," I said.

"Ah'm not wearing shorts."

"Oh really? Too bad you're not wearing patent leather shoes either.  I bet the view would be spectacular!" I reached over and tugged at the hem of Jimmy's kilt.  He glared at me and crossed his legs.

We spent the rest of the ride in silence.  Jimmy sat hunched in the passenger's seat, fidgeting like an eight year-old boy.  By the time we reached the White Horse Pub, he had switched from drumming his fingers to cracking his knuckles.

It was after 9 p.m.  when I drove my SUV into the parking garage across the street from the pub.  The bottom levels of the garage already overflowed with the cars of people who liked to get an early start on their revels.  I drove up the ramp, through three levels of compacts and sedans, ignoring every empty parking space Jimmy pointed out until I reached the top floor of the garage.

"Jesus Christ, Nan! Ye've parked us all the way out in fucking Egypt!" Jimmy complained as I pulled into an empty spot.

"I don't want anyone to scratch my ride," I said.

"Well, no fucking chance of that happening! The nearest car has to be two levels below us.  We've got the whole damn place to ourselves!"

"I know.  It's kind of nice and private, isn't it?" My hand sneaked toward the hem of Jimmy's kilt again.  He jumped as I touched his knee.

"Dammit Nan, lay off!"

"Oh come on," I teased. "Just let me slip my hand under there so I can tug on your Prince Albert!"

"Forget it.  Ah took it out!"

"You what?" I stared at him. "Jimmy, the hole will close up if you leave the hardware out too long."

"Ah don't care.  Ah'm not wearing that thing to go see me brother!" Jimmy said, and then he bolted out of the car.

"Fine," I muttered as I grabbed my leather jacket. "Be a bitch then."

I followed behind Jimmy at a leisurely pace, giving myself some time to cool off.  Jimmy was just anxious, I told myself.  He was taking his Dom to see his brother, and even though we both knew he wasn't going to introduce me as such, that still had to make him nervous.  In fact, a lesser man probably would have chickened out long before now.

I inhaled deeply and blew out all my frustration in a single breath.  Things would be all right.  I just had to be patient.  To boost my mood, I decided to focus on something pleasant, like Jimmy's kilt.  I'd never seen him wear it before.  The red and blue tartan hung from his hips like a schoolgirl's uniform.  A thick black leather belt secured it at the waist, the hem just grazing his knees.  Above the kilt, Jimmy wore a plain black t-shirt stretched tight over his chest.  Below, a set of matching wool hose molded themselves to Jimmy's calves.  I could see every muscle, every detail of his tight, lean body except for what the kilt covered.  It swayed with each step, as though inviting me to come explore what was underneath.  I grinned and picked up the pace.

"What's this?" I asked as I caught up.  I brushed my fingers against what looked like a small leather purse hanging from Jimmy's belt.  It rested right above his cock.

Jimmy pushed my hand away. "It's a sporran.  Leave it the fuck alone!"

I wanted to grab him by the short hairs at that point and tell him to be nice, but we had reached the entrance of the pub.  Jimmy strode through the double glass doors, not bothering to hold them open for me.  I gritted my teeth and followed.

Walking into the White Horse Pub felt like stepping into Scotland itself.  It was all low ceilings, wood beams, and stone walls hung with photographs of a small town that I'm sure Jimmy called home once.  Celtic rock music blared out of the jukebox, competing with the din of customers laughing and shouting as they enjoyed their drinks.  I heard more Scottish accents than I did American in that crowd.  Most of the patrons rallied around the rugby game being played out on a large screen television that dominated the front of the pub.  A few gathered around a billiards table for a friendly game.  The remaining customers focused their attention on a group of guys throwing darts in the back area.  The players all wore kilts, but it was the tallest fellow who caught my eye.  He sported the same wavy red hair and square jaw as Jimmy.  But while Jimmy stood only five foot six inches, this brawny fellow was nearly six feet tall.

"Hamish!" Jimmy shouted as he plowed his way through the crowd to reach his brother.

"Jimmy! Hey everybody, Jimmy's back!" Hamish grinned from ear to ear as we approached.  He caught Jimmy in a big bear hug and pounded him on the back.  The other players whooped when they saw Jimmy and everybody piled on top of him.

"Get off me you bawbags!" he shouted from beneath the crush of bodies.

The other guys backed off grinning, but Hamish continued to pound his back. "Dammit, Jimmy! Where ye been the last few months? Ah was starting to think ye'd been killed."

Jimmy shrugged. "Ah've been around."

I came up behind Jimmy and slid my arm around his waist.  I smiled as Hamish 's eyes rose to meet mine.  I was probably the first woman he had ever looked up to.

"Damn, yir a tall one!"

"Six foot two with eyes of blue," I quipped.  I held out my hand. "I'm Nan."

"Nan, huh?" Hamish cocked an eyebrow at Jimmy as we shook hands. "So yir the reason why me little brother hasn't been around lately."

"Sorry about that.  I've been keeping him locked in my dungeon," I joked, wincing as Jimmy elbowed me in the ribs.

"Oh, that's okay.  I knew he'd come back."

A petite blonde stepped out of the crowd of onlookers and sidled up to Jimmy.  Even in heels she was shorter than he was.  Just a tiny bundle of tits and ass, all packaged up in a low cut, venomous green dress.  But there was an air of conceit about her that made up for her miniscule stature.  When she touched Jimmy's hand, he started as though he'd been stung.

"I missed you, Jimmy."

The blonde caught Jimmy's gaze and held him transfixed.  He stood very still, caught between us, not saying a word.  After several long moments, Hamish broke the silence.

"Ah, Nan, this is Fiona," he said with a grimace. "Fiona, this is Nan."

"Nice to meet you, Ann."

"Nice to meet you too," I lied. "And the name is Nan."

"Oh." Fiona slithered a little closer to Jimmy. "So, you're Jimmy's current girlfriend."

"And you're his ex."

She smiled, showing all her teeth.  I swear I saw poison dripping from her fangs.

"Nan, do ye like darts?" Hamish jumped in.

"Never played before," I said, not taking my eyes off Fiona.

"Well, Jimmy's a real pro at darts! Maybe he should teach ye to play.  Right, Jimmy? Jimmy?"

Jimmy couldn't hear his brother.  He was too busy staring at Fiona, taking in all those sinuous curves.  I'm sure in his mind he was remembering what it felt like to fuck her.  I imagined she was quite a screamer in bed.


Hamish poked his brother in the ribs.  Jimmy looked up at him, startled.  Then he noticed me and blushed.

"Yeah, Ham, we should play darts."

"You guys go play," Fiona said. "Nan and I are going to have a little chat."

Jimmy hesitated.  He looked from Fiona to me and then to her again.

"Go on!" Fiona said, pulling him out of my arms.  She rubbed up against him in a not-so-subtle move before shooing him toward the dartboard.  Jimmy stumbled away like a drunk.  Hamish shook his head as he walked after his brother.

"Nice meeting ye, Nan." He said it as though he never expected to see me again.

Fiona grabbed my arm and dragged me toward a table. "Let's talk, shall we?"

"Oh yes, let's," I agreed.

We flagged down a waitress and ordered a couple of beers.  While we waited for our drinks, Fiona looked me over, taking note of my leather jacket, faded jeans, and jet-black hair.

"Well, you're something of an Amazon, aren't you?" she said. "Tell me, do guys really like that?"

"Some do," I replied, propping my feet up on the chair next to hers.

The waitress came back with our drinks just as a loud cheer rose up near the dartboard.  I looked over and saw Jimmy standing in front of the target, picking darts out of its checkerboard face.  Judging from the noise of the crowd, he must have made a good score.  Jimmy glanced over at our table as he headed back to a white line marked on the floor.  He nearly walked into the bar when Fiona smiled at him and leaned forward to show off her tits.

"Looks like ol' Jimbo still knows how to toss his dart," Fiona said, returning her attention to me. "So, Nan, how long have you two been going out?"

"About six months."

"Really? Jimmy and I broke up about six months ago." She took a sip of her beer. "I guess you caught him on the rebound."

"However I caught him, he's mine now."

Fiona sniffed. "For the moment."

We watched Jimmy prepare to throw again.  He held up a dart and aimed for the board.  As he did so, one of the other players snuck up beside him with a billiards cue and slipped the tip of it under Jimmy's kilt.  Just before Jimmy made his throw, the cue popped up.  Jimmy's kilt flew up above his waist to expose his naked cock.

"You bloody arse bandit!"

Jimmy yanked the kilt back down, but not before I spied the gleam of a stainless steel ring dangling from the tip of his gorgeous rod.

"Oh, you sweet bastard!" I whispered.  My heart leapt.  Why the hell had Jimmy lied about wearing the Prince Albert?

I knew the answer when I glanced over at Fiona.  Her cheeks flushed bright pink and her mouth made a little "oh" of surprise.  She had seen it too.

"Well! He didn't have that when we were going out!"

"I'll bet he didn't have a lot of things when you two were together," I said with a sudden understanding.

Fiona's eyes narrowed to flinty slits. "Let me tell you something, Ann!" She jabbed a finger at me.

"The name's Nan."

"Whatever! Jimmy and I have been together a long time.  Every now and then he gets a wild hair up his ass and decides to chase after some whore, but it never lasts.  He always comes back to me.  Always! And do you know why? It 's because I give that man whatever he wants.  If he asks, ‘How about a blowjob,' I suck him dry.  If he says, ‘Let's fuck,' I spread my legs and let him have at it.  So there's nothing you've got that I haven't already given him!"

"If that's true," I said, "then why does he keep leaving you?"

That took the wind out of her sails.  Fiona sat there, gaping at me.

"You know," she said after a long moment. "I was going to be nice about this, but now I'm not.  Jimmy's mine, you bitch, and I'm taking him back from you tonight!"

"You're welcome to try," I said, getting up from the table. "But I think Jimmy's made other plans."

"Oh, like he gets a choice here!" she snapped.

"Fiona, he's always got a choice."

I left her spluttering at the table and headed for the ladies' room.  How many of Jimmy's other girlfriends had she bulldozed over? Probably a lot, I realized.  In fact, she'd probably scared off so many that she didn't think she could ever lose Jimmy to another woman.

Well, it was time she learned otherwise.  I stepped into the ladies' room, entered the first empty stall, and unzipped my fly.  Jimmy wasn't the only one going without underwear that night.  Unless of course, the strap-on harness I wore counted as an undergarment.  I ran my fingers over the black leather straps, double-checking the fit.  From the inner pocket of my jacket, I produced a silicone dildo.  It slid into the O-ring at the front of the harness smooth as silk.  A few quick adjustments settled the base of the dildo over my clit.  I rolled on a condom before zipping up and stepped out of the stall.  With my jacket partially closed, no one would notice the bulge in my jeans.

I left the ladies' room and headed back to the table.  Fiona was already gone, as was Jimmy.

"Bitch moves fast," I said to myself.  Before I could look for them, Hamish turned up at my side.

"Uh, Nan, there's something ye should know—"

"Fiona's going after Jimmy," I said matter-of-factly.

He blinked. "Yeah.  Yir not upset?"

"Not at all," I said, scanning the room.  A flash of blonde hair and a bilious green dress caught my eye.  I turned and spied Fiona lurking near the men's room, waiting for Jimmy.  She snared him as he came out, wrapping both arms around his waist to keep him from escaping.

"Fiona doesn't fight fair, Nan," Hamish said in a low voice.

As if on cue, the bitch turned and looked right at me.  She winked as she took Jimmy's hands and placed them on her full breasts.  Jimmy hesitated, but he didn't pull away.

"Nan?" Hamish gave me a questioning look.

"Come on, Ham.  Let's play darts."

I strode over to the board and grabbed three darts.  Hamish scrambled after me.

"What about Jimmy? Aren't ye going to do something?"

"Like what?" I asked as I stepped back to the white line.  I picked up my first dart and studied the board.  The numbers around the rim probably had something to do with scoring, but they didn't mean a damn thing to me.  I decided to go with the obvious shot.

"Bulls eye!" I called as I threw the dart.  A few cheers went up as it landed smack in the center of the board.

"Nan, ye've got to protect what's yir's!" Hamish exclaimed.

I glanced back at Jimmy.  His hands had shifted from Fiona's breasts to her buttocks.  He kneaded her full ass like it was bread dough, all the while pulling her closer to him.

"Hamish, I know what I'm doing." I focused on the dartboard again.  There was just barely enough room in the center for my next shot.

"Bull's eye!" I called again.

Thunk! The second dart landed impossibly close to the first.  More cheers went up from the onlookers.  I smiled and bowed.  As I reached for the third dart, Hamish grabbed my arm.

"Don't ye get it? Once Fiona sinks her claws into him—"

I brushed him off. "Fiona is about to be de-clawed."

As I picked up the last dart, I saw Fiona press Jimmy up against the men's room door.  Her hand caressed his face, and then slid down the length of his body, heading for the hem of his kilt.  Jimmy leaned back slack-jawed, and closed his eyes.  I aimed the dart and threw.

"Bull's eye!"

The dart flew across the room and landed with a thunk in the men's room door, nailing Jimmy's kilt in the process.  Fiona let out a shriek and yanked back her hand.  The rest of the pub fell dead silent.  Jimmy's eyes flew open, his face bone white as he stared at the dart sticking out between his legs.  Then he looked up at me and roared.

"Dammit Nan!"

I waved to him as I strode out of the pub.  I wasn't walking fast, but my legs were long.  I had already reached the top level of the parking garage when Jimmy caught up.

"Ye put a hole in me kilt!" he shouted, his face boiling red. "What the hell did ye do that for?"

"To remind you, lover, that there are things you don't want to do," I replied.

"Oh, so Ah canna spend time with an old friend?"

"You can walk down memory lane all you like, Jimmy, but I better not catch you fucking there."

"Ah wasn't fucking her!"

"Oh really?" I said as we reached the car. "It sure looked like you wanted to."

"Well maybe Ah did.  Maybe just once Ah'd rather be with a real woman than some dyke bitch who thinks she's a man!"

I grabbed Jimmy and shoved him up against the car.  He grunted in surprise as I spun him around and pressed his face against the hood.

"Oh I'm a man alright, lover! I'm Nan the fucking Man, and tonight I'm going to teach you some respect!"

I kept one hand on his neck, pinning him in place.  With the other hand, I pulled up his kilt to expose his naked backside.  His pale white buttocks dimpled in the cold air of the parking garage.

"Jimmy, you've just been begging for what I'm about to do to you," I said.  I slapped his ass hard enough to leave a bright red handprint burning on one cheek.

"Let go of me, ye fucking bitch!" I reached around his waist and grabbed the sporran.  Jimmy struggled against me as I opened it, but he couldn't stop me from finding what I was looking for.

"Hold still!" I shoved him against the car again and kicked his feet wide apart to throw him off balance.  Jimmy had to grab the fender to keep from falling.

"Ye fucking bitch! Don't ye dare do this to me here!"

"Sweetheart, if you didn't want to play, why did you pack this?"

I held up the tube of lubricant I found in his sporran.  Jimmy squeezed his eyes shut the moment he saw it, as if that would make it go away.

"Ye damn bitch! Why here? Why in the fucking garage?"

"Oh come on, Jimmy.  You know why! You snipe at me all damn evening, and then you start screwing around with your ex in the pub.  Did you really think I was going to let you get away with that kind of behavior?"

When he didn't answer, I gave him a shake.

"I asked you a question, Jimmy! Did you really think you'd get away with it?"

He screwed his face up tight. "No!" he said, almost choking on the word.

"Well then, you know you have to accept the consequences of your actions."

I had to take my hand off Jimmy's neck to spread his ass cheeks apart, but he wasn't struggling anymore.  He clung to the hood of the SUV for dear life, gasping and moaning as I spread the lube between his buttocks and then into his little brown hole.  I started with one finger, sliding it in and out until Jimmy was rocking his hips back and forth.  Then I gave him two fingers to pry him open just a little wider.  Jimmy bit his lower lip to keep from crying out.  I just grinned and slipped in another finger.  I'd been waiting for this all evening long.

"You know what I'm going to do to you, big man?" I whispered as I fingered him.  He shook his head. "I'm going to make you cry like a baby!"

I yanked open my jacket and unzipped my jeans.  The dildo sprang out, just like a real dick.  I let Jimmy turn his head just far enough to see what I was doing.

"Oh shite, Nan! Don't do this, please! Ah'm sorry!"

"It's too late for apologies, Jimmy!"

By now, I was fingering him hard, forcing his backdoor to open up wide.  When he was ready, I pulled out my fingers and pressed the tip of the dildo up against that little puckered mouth.  The dildo slid home, its full length gliding into Jimmy's ass.  He squealed and bucked, but it was too late.  I was inside of him, and there was no way he could get me out.

"You like how that feels?" I whispered.  I found the answer to that question under the front of his kilt.  His cock felt stiff as a tree trunk and it stood straight out from his hips.  I wrapped a hand around it and started stroking.

"Oh God, Nan! What are ye doing to me?" He arched his back as I pushed into him.  On impulse, I slapped his ass again.  The sound reverberated in the empty garage.

"Nan, don't!"

"What's wrong? Afraid somebody will hear us?"

"Yes!" he hissed.

I cackled, stirring up even more echoes. "You know what? I'll bet somebody does hear us.  In fact, I'll bet somebody sees us! I'll bet sweet little Fiona followed us here, still hoping to get lucky with you.  I'll bet she's hiding in the shadows, watching everything we're doing!"

Jimmy really did start to cry when I said that, and that was the cue I was looking for.  I reached down between my legs and flipped a switch at the base of the dildo.  The vibrator inside it roared to life, sending sweet shivers through us both.  My clit swelled up, hungry and aching.  Jimmy sobbed and gasped, bucking his hips back and forth so hard I could barely hold onto his cock.  The tartan cloth of his kilt flapped around his legs as I pumped into his ass, and my jeans slid off my hips and fell to the oil-stained pavement.

"Louder!" I ordered. "I want Fiona to hear you! I want her to know how much you're enjoying this!"

Jimmy obeyed, throwing his head back as I thrust into him and shouting at the top of his lungs.

"Oh God! Don't stop!"

"Beg for it!" I told him.

"Please Nan! Please fuck me hard! Ah want it! Ah need it!"

The garage rang with his cries.  Jimmy clawed at the hood of the car, scratching up the wax job as he shouted, then shrieked, and finally bellowed his way to an orgasm.

"Oh God, Nan!"

He came all over my hand and the inside of his kilt before slumping over the hood.  I held onto him and kept grinding into his ass until the vibrator overwhelmed my clit and I came too.  When I finished, I draped myself over him.  We stayed there for long moments, both of us gasping for air.  Then I stood up, and slowly pulled out.  Jimmy staggered around and dropped to his knees.

"Oh God, Nan," he whispered. "How did ye know? How do ye always know?"

I stripped the condom off and tossed it into a nearby trashcan.  Jimmy leaned forward and kissed the tip of the dildo.

"I know because I love you," I said as I stroked his soft red hair.

"Ah love ye too, Nan."

We didn't need to say anything else.  Jimmy pulled up my jeans, tucking the dildo neatly inside before zipping me up.  When he stood, his kilt fell back into place, with the sporran conveniently hiding the come stains.  Jimmy slipped an arm around my waist and pressed his face to my breasts, nuzzling them beneath my t-shirt.

"Do ye want to go back to the pub?" he asked.

"Sure.  Let's get a drink."

Back inside, we found a quiet table and sat down.  Hamish brought over a couple of drinks and set them in front of us.

"That was some pretty fancy throwing, Nan." He regarded me with a cautious look, probably wondering if I'd throw a dart at him next.  He turned to Jimmy. "Are ye okay?"

Jimmy nodded. "Nan took me out to the parking garage and gave me a proper spank.  Ah'll be a good boy now."

Hamish threw back his head and laughed. "So that's yir secret! Too bad for Fiona she never figured that out!"

"Too bad indeed," I replied.

Hamish headed back to the bar, chuckling all the way.  Jimmy and I sipped our drinks in a comfortable silence.  I nudged Jimmy and pointed to Fiona sulking near the entrance of the pub.  We lifted our glasses to her and smiled.  Fiona favored us with a scathing look and stalked out.

"I think your ex is disappointed," I said.

"Well Ah'm not," Jimmy replied.  He slipped a hand under the table to caress the bulge in my jeans. "Ah've got exactly what Ah want right here."

"No, you don't," I told him as I leaned in for a kiss.

"But you do have what you need."

© 2004 Helen E.  H.  Madden.  All rights reserved.  Content may not be copied or used in whole or part without written permission from the author.

Bio:  Who is Helen E.  H.  Madden? Read her bio on the Erotica Readers & Writers Association website.

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