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Newly Reformed Woman Seeks Man the Same
by Seneca Mayfair © 2006

“Newly reformed woman seeks man the same,” Sam read aloud. “Now what the hell is that supposed to mean?”

“Oh Jeeze, Sam, you’re reading the Stranger personals again. Don’t you have anything better to do?” Donna plopped down in the chair opposite her brother. She picked up a piece of cold dry toast and nibbled on it.

Sam watched her and wondered why his sister was here in his kitchen making rude, personal remarks.

“Because I can,” Donna said.


“I said, Sam, that I’m here in your kitchen making rude, personal remarks because I can be here. You let me in, remember? So don’t be surprised when I know what you’re thinking. Though I think you’re on the right track there with Miss Newly Reformed Woman.”

“Donna, you need to mind your own business. Then you need to find some other place to haunt. For Christ’s sake, you didn’t even like me when you were alive, so why are you hanging out with me when you’re dead? And why are you eating toast? Why do you need toast? How can you even eat it?”

Donna just grunted. Well, that hadn’t changed, nor had her clothes. She was still wearing the leather jacket she’d worn since she’d turned 18, left home, bought a chopper and started fucking women. His sister the biker dyke was haunting him. The bitch.

“Now, now, Sammy, you know I can hear what you think. For your information, if I didn’t have to be here, I wouldn’t. It’s just I’ve got to do some good deed before I get to go to alternative heaven. You know, just like in the movies.”

Donna leaned over the table and stared intently at Sam, her eyes green and earnest. “Sam, you really oughta pay more attention to the movies. God uses the movies to get his points across. I only wish I’d paid more attention when I was living. If I had, I’d probably not be here sitting across from you in your lame-assed kitchen trying to hook you up with the reformation babe.”

“God?” He raised his eyebrows at Donna. Sam thought he had Donna on that one. She was admitting God was a he.

“Oh get real, Sammy-bammy. God is a Goddess is a God is a Goddess. And she wears leather. So deal with it.” Donna snatched the Stranger from his hands. “Get your phone, Sam, this is a live one and I’m gonna call her for you.”

“Why should I take advice from a dead woman?” Sam rubbed his eyes. He really wished Donna would go away. This was the way it’d been his whole life. Donna always bossing him around, beating him up if he didn’t do what she wanted, and he was fucking sick of it.

“Ah, Sam, you know I love you.” Donna paused. “Well, aren’t you going to say you know I love you and you love me too? I mean, because if you’re going to do it, now's the time.”

Sam opened and shut his mouth a few times. He wondered where his words had gone. Donna winked at him and laughed.

“Donna, her number isn’t listed in the Stranger.”

“Doesn’t matter. I got her number all right. It’s part of my supernatural powers. Actually, I think it may be my only supernatural power.” Donna punched in the number.

Sam jumped up from the table and fled the kitchen. He wasn’t going to be a party to this. He wouldn’t. He was 37 years old and he could find his own date. He didn’t need his dead sister setting up dates for him.

Two days later, Sam sat across from a slight, blonde woman. Her name was Ivy Dangers, newly reformed.

“So, you see, Mr. Bailey, I’ve given it all up and now I want to devote my life to my calling.” Ivy paused, dipped her head a bit, and then smiled up at Sam. “I can see you understand. That’s why I agreed to meet with you.”

Sam hadn’t spoken to the woman, Donna had. Donna had sounded just like Sam too. In fact, she sounded better than Sam ever remembered himself sounding. She’d convinced Ivy that Sam was “Man the Same,” whatever that was.

Ivy was appealing. There was something about her that made Sam want to just pound his chest and take charge. As he watched Ivy speak, he thought of her naked on a bed, spread eagle, tied with rope, her pussy leaking its arousal onto the sheet beneath her, and Sam poised with a flogger ready to strike.

“See, Sam, I told you this is what you want and you didn’t know. Get a load of the size of your pecker. I swear it’s so big it’s beginning to edge its way over the table. Better watch it, Sam, don’t want to frighten Miss Reformation,” Donna whispered in his ear.

Sam shrugged trying to dislodge Donna’s grasp on his shoulder.

“Is something the matter?” Ivy asked.

“No, Ivy, nothing really. Just a little tick I picked up in the war.”

“What war, you dickhead?” Donna laughed and pounded his back.

“Oh, I’m so sorry, Mr. Bailey. Would it help if we were to go some place else where you’d be more comfortable?”

“I’m fine, Ivy, but I think you’d like to go some place else with me.” Sam drew Ivy’s hand to his lips and kissed her palm. He wondered where he’d learned this.

“You learned it from me, Sammy. Just wait until you get a bit of leather on you. Oh sweetie, this thing is genetic, so don’t fight it,” Donna said. She was now standing behind Ivy and leaned over and tickled the nape of Ivy’s neck. She then gestured obscenely to Sam indicating to him what she’d like to do to Ivy. Sam ignored her.

“Ivy, would you mind waiting for just a minute? When I get back, we’ll go some place where you’ll feel freer to be yourself.” She nodded.

He confronted Donna in the men’s restroom.

“Where am I supposed to take her? I don’t even know her. She could be some kind of vice cop or something.”

“Hold on, Sam, I gotta take a leak.”

“Donna! You’re dead for Christ’s sake.”

“What? The dead don’t piss? To the contrary, dear brother, rain is the piss of the dead. Just now I watered Toledo.”

“Toledo? Really?”

Donna grinned. “Yeah, really. Now about Miss Reformation, don’t worry. You’re doing fine. Just follow your instincts.”

“But I want to tie her up and make her come over and over and flog her and fuck her and listen to her moan and cry my name and beg me for more. That can’t be right,” Sam said. This whole experience was really far more than he thought he could handle.

“See, Sam, that’s it. That’s what you want to do. It’s what she wants you to do.” Donna patted her brother’s cheek. “I’m feeling quite maternal toward you now. You seem to bring it out in me. Of course your stupidity makes me want to thrash you. You bring that out in me too. Always have.”

“How do you know what she wants to do?”

”Trust me.”

Thirty minutes later, Miss Ivy Danger’s exposed rounded ass was in Sam’s lap. They sat in the back of Sam’s car. His palm tingled from its application of discipline to Ivy's now reddened bottom.

”Oh, please, Sir, I’ll be good. I will. I promise never ever to do it again.” Ivy wiggled her ass and looked back over her shoulder at Sam. Hope and promise shone in her eyes.

“I don’t believe you,” Sam said. “You say you're reformed, but I don’t believe you.”

“Mr. Bailey, please no.”

Sam’s erection was poking into the happy Ivy’s tummy. He paused to caress her soft white ass. He pinched it to see the flesh turn white and then red when he released it. Sam felt like a new man. He knew his life had changed for the better. He was young, had a sure eye, a strong hand, and he would do well at disciplining women such as Ivy.

“I guess I am the one you sought, Ivy. I’m a reformed man,” Sam said.

“Amen, brother," Donna boomed from somewhere in the sky. Then it began to rain.

© 2006 Seneca Mayfair.  All rights reserved. Content may not be copied or used in whole or part without written permission from the author.

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