Why Do People Cheat

Is one partner not enough?

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From Yllw Rse
Whew! There certainly are a lot of different viewpoints out there. And it seems I agree and disagree with parts of every one of them. You see, I've been involved with a married man for almost 10 years. We have great respect for each other, and each other's families. I know that sounds crazy, because how can you have respect for someone who is cheating? But it's absolutely true. 

However, there's at least one downside - I am completely mind and soul in love with him. And he, not so much. I knew what the situation was when I entered into it, but that didn't seem to make a difference, because the laughter, the sex and the fantasies were wonderful. But now I'm tired of having to schedule sex, or even dinner and I hate being on a curfew. Perhaps one day my heart will catch up to my head and I will have the courage to let this wonderful man go. But then how on earth do I get myself back into circulation, as they say, and allow myself to love again?

From Anonymous
I am a woman who is involved with a married older man. We respect each other, have great sex, there's thrill of hunt, adrenalin of risk...you name it! That taught me a lot about life, myself, men, cheating, human nature....We all need attention! If somebody doesn't appreciate us any more (or for whatever reason his/her appreciation is not exciting any more) we immediately turn to another. It is so easy to find another human being who is in the same boat as you!

None of us take the time to understand the spouse at home...We become critical, bitter...Moreover, life is hard! Rather than dealing with the reality, human nature escapes from it...I am sure that I cannot be monogamous and do it the hard way, when there is an easier way to live this life...The same goes for men and women alike...Period.

From Michelle
I love sex with my husband, can't get enough of him. That is, as long as I can trust him, and as long as I know I'm the only woman in the world to him and his best friend. After all, that's how he made me feel in the beginning and we promised each other those things when we got married. But you take those things away and leave me with self doubt and a broken heart...well, I'm not feeling very sexy at all. So hurt me once, and hurt me again for not giving it up to someone who doesn't care for me? That's just not right. 

I think you should have to get a degree before you can get married. People who cheat are just cowards, really. Why not be free to peruse your desires? And why not free your partner to find true happiness elsewhere? Or an open marriage even. But talk about it, be adult enough to be honest about what you're feeling.

From Camber
I have been married for 12 years and love my husband to death, he is a wonderful husband and terrific father. However, after 12 years, sex and making love has become so vanilla...oral on him, oral on me and then maybe one or two different positions. After he is finished up in me, he kisses me and is off to bed, leaving me to finish off myself. 

I have never set off to find an affair or a quick fuck, however the last few years I have been going on "girl" trips with my closest girl friends. And after many times of being hit on and such, I and so did my other friends began to give in and have some fun with other guys. There is just something fun and exciting to be with a man you have never been with. I have had some amazing times with other men. I will never have a long time affair, but the weekend quickie works well for me after years of the same thing over and over.

So why do I cheat...for something new, more foreplay and different positions. I do it for me.

From David
After almost 25 years of marriage, I no longer believe that the whole idea of commitment has anything to do with sex. Yet somehow, sex is the center of ideas that tie us together around "being committed". I think it is a big falsehood. Commitment is being there, totally, 100%. That said, I also have recognized that non-aligned libidos are a real problem. For me, exploration is a goal. Alternative sexualities are essential, and at times I feel I am going totally nuts. I'm working my way slowly to a place here I feel OK about suggesting kink, anal and, I hope, other sex experiences. As one person here put it life is short. Live it.

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