Porn on My Partner's Computer

Why am I so jealous?

Why not watch porn together?

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From Annmarie
My husband has been looking at porn for half our relationship. At times it has really put a strain on our life because of all the emotional feelings stated in the other comments such as insecurities less intimacy etc. I really never looked at porn because I thought that if I did I would be withholding from him. 

I just would like to know do woman process porn differently? When I look at porn I get excited and use what I viewed as a fantasy during sex. Do men and woman process porn differently? My husband says that he never thinks of anyone else during sex. I can't understand this. I thought that's what porno is for. 

Any response would be helpful. Men or women

From Lets Say Joe
Married, I watch porn movies sometimes, my wife is not very interested in sex. This is my best way to get released.

From Anonymous
It is interesting that there is no mention of the fact that the majority of porn degrade women and that many women take offense to this. Im not just talking about the women in the films but women in general, wives, mothers, sisters, daughters.

Personally if it works for a couple I reckon that's their business but anyone telling a woman who objects to porn to 'just get over it' , loosen up or try watching it with him' is totally clueless as to how many women feel about these issues.

If one of a woman's needs is to have a partner who behaves with integrity then why the hell should she degrade herself for his willy?

From Aqua
My husband is an open-minded man. He never keeps anything from me. He openly admits he enjoys porn. If he sees something attractive to him he enjoys it. He doesn't carry around those females in his head. Whenever I feel down and low I feel more bad to see the porn on his laptop. Otherwise I am quite able to handle myself. He knows how I feel about it. He is a wonderful man. 

I know that there is porn, call girls, nudity, strip clubs all around us. The important thing is we live amongst it all with confidence and trust in each other. After all he is only looking. Not touching or sharing anything with another woman. It's a purely personal thing like brushing one's teeth, right?!

From Anonymous
I am 31 and was married for the first time at 19. My first husband claimed to never have watched porn or masturbated. I accepted this with blind faith and never questioned. Although now I realize if he really wasn't he sure could have used some for nothing more the instructional material. 

Years later I am divorced and dating and I find a magazine in my then boyfriends bathroom. I remember being sick to my stomach. You know, am I not good enough? I don't look like these girls, is that what he wants? When I confronted him he just said "my mom had me at 16, I did what I had to do to not end up like her, even if that meant doing it to myself." I thought this was wise but it still bothered me. 

Fast forward a few years and we married. He still kept porn in his life but I wouldn't let him have it in print because we have children in the home, so he kept it on his computer which is in our bedroom. I still don't like it but choose to pick my battles and when I became pregnant I found this to be and excellent outlet for him and at least he wasn't out with someone else. 

Now today things have changed, a few years back he was laid off and the only job he could get was in the adult industry (he works with computers, sorry girls no model here) now he works for one of the best known porn distributors in the nation (Bunny ears and all). At first it was kind of cool telling his friends he went to the mansion and all but now with access to it all when ever he wants or doesn't want and I can come into our room to see him behind his computer and when I think he is there for pleasure find he is just working. Well now he even says something he once enjoyed is just 'coercive' and he would love to leave his job.

 Will porn still be on his computer if he ever leaves? most likely will I still have a problem with it? yes, but once the cat is out of the bag it is hard to put it back in. If I ever have relationship somewhere in the future will I let that man have porn in my home? most likely not- Why? well do you remember what is was like when we all first started out? no porn or adult toys? Well that was the best for me having an orgasm without the aide of pictures or battery operated toys one man, and one women just sharing.

From Emotional Mess in AK
I have been with my husband for 10 years but we have only been married for 1 year. When we met I had a huge sex drive and we did it all the time. The sex was awesome! I have always been a very open minded person and he loves the fact I am into chicks as well. We always watched porn together and read the magazines for the articles of course! To make a long story short our relationship was hot and yummy.

I am pregnant with our 5th child due in Feb, 2006 and I am an emotional mess. I am so confused and irritated with the way I feel. I admit I have always been a bit jealous of the women he looks at etc...but he has sex with me so I did not stress too much. Lately he has been looking at a lot more porn then usual and since we got married last year I have not. What is wrong with me? All of a sudden the idea of looking at another naked man makes me feel terrible but he is just fine and gets off often to hot naked chicks. I am overweight but he says he likes me thick, yet he looks at these hot, skinny babes that make me feel like I should not even exist they are so beautiful.

I have been having terrible dreams of my husband and other women. A few years ago we had a threesome with my best friend. Now my husband did not actually have sex with her just me but he recently told me he wanted to eat her out etc...ever since he told me this I can't get the image out of my head. I am so confused and I feel so bad all the time. I want to be normal again and feel sexy and desired. I want to feel like I am all my husband needs but I am such an emotional wreck!

I am not a crazy person just a sad one. I wish I could be a centerfold chick for my husband. I know I need to lose weight and other things. I know porn is not a bad thing but like I said for some reason since we got married it all of a sudden bothers me and that makes me feel terrible as well.

From F
My boyfriend of almost 5 years rents porn DVDs, views, sites, magazines, etc. I don't mind all this if he included me in the fun. I worry that he chats with others and fantasizes about others. But what gets me most is that in all the time we've been together he can not get hard to have sex with me. We have sex but it could be a lot better, a lot harder. His only experience besides me is porn so he doesn't seem to understand pleasuring and foreplay. It frustrates me more and more. 

And my question and worry is that he DOES get hard and enjoy the porn and maybe he is just not attracted to me but he settles with me because he is comfortable with me. I am very attractive, tall, and slim, but maybe not to him. I love him and I know he loves me, but I'm not sure if he is in love with me and is attracted to me. I don't want to be with him if his is not in love with me or attracted to me. I raise the question and he assures me, tells me he's stressed, etc. and says he will go to counseling with me, but he is not one to follow through. I am concerned and appreciate any comments.

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