Porn Movies
Enjoyment or Discomfort?

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From Miserable
I think porn movies are fine and can do a lot for a relationship if both partners are happy to enjoy them. The problems seem to start when one partner uses it in place of real sex and hides it from his partner.

I am experiencing this at the moment and I feel ugly and unloved. If I want to make love I have to make all the moves and sometimes even that doesn't work. I am told I am very attractive but I don't feel like that any more, I just feel rejected.

So all you porn lovers out there, think ahead and include your partners if you want to avoid a lot of hurt and resentment.

From Will
I agree with most of what Beth wrote in her post [see Beth's entry below]. However, I can't agree with her statement "good sex is all in the head". That is true of good sexual fantasy, but sexual experience is mostly physical, not mental. After all, when sex is really good (with a partner), isn't it the bodily pleasure we are getting off on? Porn movies are made for the purpose of showing that bodily pleasure.

From Angelondeck
I had often wondered if the porn my lover viewed, made me look less attractive to him when he saw me naked. We spent several months separated last year and I began watching porn movies on the Internet.

Recently we got back together, and the first time I saw him naked I was shocked by how small his penis looked! I didn't have an image in my mind of some Internet stud, I wasn't thinking of porn at all, I just remember seeing him and going "wow! I don't remember his cock being that small!"

Only later on, I realized why I was noticing all of his bodily imperfections that had never jumped out at me before.

Viewing the perfect bodies of the well endowed Internet hotties did indeed change the level of arousal and satisfaction I used to have at the sight of him.

After a while, I regained my appreciation of his body, but I understand so much better now why porn is such a big problem in a lot of relationships!

From Philip
For me porn is about complete fantasy. I want perfectly formed girls (with boobs full of plastic), I want perfect fucking, with no fumbling. It's not real and I know it's not real and I don't expect real girls to be anything like the creatures on porn videos. I want to be seduced for an hour and a half. That's all. 

From J.T.
I don't find real life disappointing when compared to porn, any more than I expect all real-life police detectives to be sullen loners who live by their own rules and are haunted by the memories of dead partners, or that all real-life criminal defendants are innocent, and that the real culprits always manage to crack on the witness stand and confess on the record, in front of witnesses.

When I put a porn tape or DVD in, I expect no less a fantasy than that stuff about "The Force" and/or the One Ring To Rule Them All.

And as far as the attractiveness of porn stars is concerned, I've noticed a trend away from the silicone/smooth skin look, myself. There's more amateur/reality based stuff out there these days, and that means fewer perfect bodies and more stuff grounded in real life.

In fact, one of my favorite Christmas gifts to myself last year was Timothy Greenfield-Saunders' photo book, XXX 30 Pornstars. The photos are of porn stars, both clothed and naked, in the same pose. One of the things that strikes me is the enormous diversity of physiques these people display, even among the women. Especially among the women.

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