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Inside the Erotic Mind

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Cybersex Experiences
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Losing Your Virginity

Fiction Versus Reality



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From Christian L. Ambrose
I did not experience pain myself and there were no huge fireworks. It was also incredibly awkward as it was his first time too. He kept falling out and other weirdness so we finally gave up, snuggled, talked and eventually drifted off to sleep. The next morning, I climbed on top and went for a ride until he came, which didn't take long at all. It was interesting and sex did get better as we both learned more about it from personal experience. I did not expect much in the way of fireworks and did expect a little pain.

Sex is a lot of fun and I have had some great orgasms but I wouldn't say it's the best thing in the world. Another friend equated it with a full body massage and she is kinda right. I still enjoy snuggling and talking more than sex. Having said that, I don't anticipate returning to celibacy anytime soon.

From Jerry
I lost my virginity at 15 years old by my mom's friend who used to stay with us at times. Some say that this type of thing does harm to a young man, but I can only say that after that first time, I was in love with her and I learned how to make love, including oral, to a woman. This woman is 24 years older than me and is still very beautiful, but she is now happily married. She will always be important in my life and I will always love her. I think my mother can somehow feel how much I care for this lady.

From Anonymous
I'm 29, and I gave my virginity away to one of my brothers' best-friends (who is 36). He is my first true love! He was so gentle and pleasing; I actually came before intercourse. Ooh, he gives such good cunnilingus! Anyway, before we began intercourse, he kissed and licked the entrance to my vagina (I'll never forget the sensation!) and rubbed his erect penis against my clitoris moving me into another orgasm. In the middle of this orgasm, he squeezed my clit as he slowly entered my vagina. The sensation sent me over the edge and even though I felt the fullness of his penis, I felt no pain. When he began thrusting, I surprised both of us by contracting around him until we both came.

That morning, I was very sore. After we did it again and slept a few more hours, he drew a warm bath for me and massaged all my sensitive areas. I never imagined my first time to be so beautiful!

From Anonymous
Losing my virginity sucked in the worst way. I was 15, at a party and had fallen asleep (passed out?). Next thing I knew my "date" was pushing himself inside me. Yes, this is date-rape folks. Not fun. I don't remember bleeding but I can tell you it hurt for days and I could barely sit the next day. When I finally did choose to have sex I had no problem being intimate at all. That surprised me because my first experience was so horrid. My first "chosen" experience was kind of awkward but he was older and had more practice so was able to help me along.

I kind of envy women who choose when and to whom they wish to give their virginity to. When I read those romance novels (past-tense) they piss me off because they just seem so phony. I know my experience was hardly the norm (although I'm shocked at how common date-rape actually is) it still doesn't seem like anyone could not just scream from the pain of it. I guess it's true for some people though since I'm reading about here on the site. Anyhow, those are just some of my thoughts on it.

From Teresa
I always found the concept of virginity kind of baffling. My first boyfriend and I did practically everything together except intercourse (mostly due to lack of birth control). And somehow because we hadn't done that one specific act we were virgins? Silly.

I think because we were so comfortable with each other that when we finally did "lose our virginity" it wasn't painful. I found it kind of weird, not really exciting, except that watching his response was fun. It wasn't until much later, when I went on the pill, that I began to understand the appeal of the whole thing. I think anxiety about pregnancy plays a role in women's feelings about intercourse.

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