Losing Your Virginity

Fiction Versus Reality

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From Christian L. Ambrose
I did not experience pain myself and there were no huge fireworks. It was also incredibly awkward as it was his first time too. He kept falling out and other weirdness so we finally gave up, snuggled, talked and eventually drifted off to sleep. The next morning, I climbed on top and went for a ride until he came, which didn't take long at all. It was interesting and sex did get better as we both learned more about it from personal experience. I did not expect much in the way of fireworks and did expect a little pain.

Of course, I lost my virginity about 1.5 years ago and I am 30 now. I am currently with this guy and we are mates and best friends rolled into one. We are very serious about each other. I was determined that I would either wait until I was married or until I found someone with whom I would spend the rest of my life with. As a friend of mine pointed out, I am as good as married.

Sex is a lot of fun and I have had some great orgasms but I wouldn't say it's the best thing in the world. Another friend equated it with a full body massage and she is kinda right. I still enjoy snuggling and talking more than sex. Having said that, I don't anticipate returning to celibacy anytime soon.

From Teresa
I always found the concept of virginity kind of baffling. My first boyfriend and I did practically everything together except intercourse (mostly due to lack of birth control). And somehow because we hadn't done that one specific act we were virgins? Silly.

I think because we were so comfortable with each other that when we finally did "lose our virginity" it wasn't painful. I found it kind of weird, not really exciting, except that watching his response was fun. It wasn't until much later, when I went on the pill, that I began to understand the appeal of the whole thing. I think anxiety about pregnancy plays a role in women's feelings about intercourse. Biology and society being as they are, women feel the risk of (unplanned) pregnancy more acutely than men do.

From Jane Noel
Owie, owie, owie that first time. He went where no man had gone before slowly and considerately (I had a really wonderful guy in my life at the time) and sex got much better within a week or so. But the first time? That hurt.

I did have someone who knew what it was like to make love to a virgin, and for a teenager, he had a lot of self-control. (No mad thrusting!) I was really lucky, considering most of the girls I knew lost their virginity under much less joyful or caring circumstance. I feel like the exception, not the rule. I did write a 'losing it' piece that I tried to make much more realistic than the ones I'd read. I knew what I was doing the whole time, though I think I had two beers to relax. We planned our first sexual encounter (more exception than rule again) and I was already on the birth control pill by the time The Deed was done.

But the pain lasting but a moment, then earth-shattering pleasure? Nope. When I read those stories where the pain only lasts a moment, then ecstasy descends, I usually snort. In derision.

From Volponia Fox
My experience was painful, sordid, boring and woefully non-erotic. But I was really just getting rid of the burden of virginity; it was not a long-term, worthwhile relationship, so that's probably not surprising. I've no idea whether being in love with the asshole would have changed the experience for me. I have thought that the 'first time' is something you just do to get it over with, unless you are wise/lucky enough to experience it with someone who loves you.

From Michelle
I guess that at 35 I'm a bit old to still be a virgin but my dear boyfriend came to stay one weekend, (we've been seeing each other for about two months but he lives a way away). I'm rather shy so didn't want to strip in front of him or risk embarrassment. I waited until he had gone to bed then put on my big tartan pajamas and crept into his room and under the covers. He was very tired after his long trip and we just fell asleep with my arms around him - lovely. 

In the morning I suddenly felt bold and put my hand lightly against is crotch, barely touching his boxers. As he woke up it was fascinating to feel him harden, and my touch got firmer. He rolled over and kissed me, his hand on my breast, and I continued to knead him gently as he took of my pajamas, his hands moving downwards. I rolled on my back and he rolled over too. 

I guess every woman remembers that first spreading with the hardness pressing until he slid straight in and I was stretched wide. No pain, only new feelings as he moved in and out. I was a bit scared in his final frantic heaves and then the dear boy jerked and poured his soul into me. We are going to be married now.

From Ghost Rider
Come on people. Be serious. A person doesn't lose their virginity. They give it away. If they lost it, you would be able to go down the street and find it laying on the sidewalk, or get in the car and find it laying there where it dropped when they got out. This is a very tired and over used statement.

From Emily
I lost my virginity last night to my boyfriend of about two months. We actually did it in his car (classy, right?). I'm glad to say that despite the location, it was overall a positive experience.

When we went out that evening, I think we both knew that sex was a possibility,  had just gotten on the pill and we had been discussing it for a while. We started out like we typically did during a make out session; kissing, cuddling, etc. After about half an hour we both ended up in nothing but underwear. We stopped for a moment, and he asked me if i wanted to have sex. I told him I was really nervous, and he told me that he was too, (he was a virgin as well). He left the final decision up to me, which I think was really respectful. I could tell that despite his nerves, he really really wanted to do it, and even though I had heard that it would most likely be extremely painful, i wanted to do it too. After removing our underwear, we held each other for a minute, which gave me some time to mentally prepare for what was about to happen.

It didn't take too long for him to penetrate me the first time. It hurt so much that I dug my nails into his back and gritted my teeth. But even though I was in pain and did not have an orgasm, I had this amazing feeling of closeness and trust with him that was like nothing I had ever experienced.

And now for some advice for those thinking about loosing their virginity: Before you have sex, I think the most important thing you and your partner need is mutual respect and trust. Sex is a big deal, so don't do it until you feel completely ready. If your partner pressures you or tries to rush you, that's a sign that they only care about themselves, not about you or your feelings.

From Mary
I'd like to get my hands on the guy who took my virginity when I was a mere 15, he was 28. What did I know? Nothing. Yes the jerk was considerate, right up to penetration, then he went at it like a sex starved cave man.

One minute he's all like nice and gentle, and I was feeling a real nice sexual buzz, and the next minute he's slamming into me like a steam hammer and it hurt like hell. Then he's coming and groaning and grunting like a sweaty pig, cleans up and he's out of there like bat out of hell. Jerk. And he's got the nerve to call a week later - a whole week! Looking for more sex no doubt. I told him to eat shit and die.

I guess I should be a bit thankful. He taught me to wise up, wait until I really know the guy before becoming lovers. A good man is worth waiting for, girls. Don't waste your sexuality on idiots who think with their dicks rather then their brains.

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