Losing Your Virginity

Fiction Versus Reality

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From Anonymous
Losing my virginity sucked in the worst way. I was 15, at a party and had fallen asleep (passed out?). Next thing I knew my "date" was pushing himself inside me. Yes, this is date-rape folks. Not fun. I don't remember bleeding but I can tell you it hurt for days and I could barely sit the next day. When I finally did choose to have sex I had no problem being intimate at all. That surprised me because my first experience was so horrid. My first "chosen" experience was kind of awkward but he was older and had more practice so was able to help me along.

I kind of envy women who choose when and to whom they wish to give their virginity to. When I read those romance novels (past-tense) they piss me off because they just seem so phony. I know my experience was hardly the norm (although I'm shocked at how common date-rape actually is) it still doesn't seem like anyone could not just scream from the pain of it. I guess it's true for some people though since I'm reading about here on the site. Anyhow, those are just some of my thoughts on it...

From Anonymous
I was nervous. Mainly because of hearing about pain and bleeding and such but I had NO pain (yes, I was tight and it took some effort and stretching for him to get inside all the way, being fairly well endowed, but no pain) no blood. No soreness that I recall the next day. And the next time no discomfort at all either. 

I really wish I had been able to relax more and not have had these ideas in my head. Would have been much better. But apparently, many girls DO have some or even a lot of pain, so I won't say those stories were "myths", but for me, as it turned out, they did not apply. I either was born without or with a thin hymen or lost it along the way; I masturbated quite a lot and from an early age, but I sure don't recall any particular episode which might have been a torn hymen. 

I've read that there are vast differences in hymens between different populations and individuals within populations, to the extent that some tend to have very thick and pronounced hymens (the speculation was that over much time, cultures which prize this feature tend to select for it so it becomes more common) and others tend to have little or only a residual hymen (according to this study author, ALL girls have a hymen, even if it is virtually undetectable and with no need to be torn.)

Anyway, I didn't come (but then, I don't come from intercourse alone even now, I need clitoral stimulation instead or along with penetration) and that first time, we were both so focused on the intercourse aspect that a few kisses aside, nothing else was going on! It wasn't a "fairy tale" scene, a bit awkward and sort of anti-climactic, all in all. But wonderful still, very intimate and pleasurable (not orgasmic for me, but yes, felt good to have him inside me.

This is an awesome forum! So great to read everyone's experiences.

From Mary
I'd like to get my hands on the guy who took my virginity when I was a mere 15, he was 28. What did I know? Nothing. Yes the jerk was considerate, right up to penetration, then he went at it like a sex starved cave man.

One minute he's all like nice and gentle, and I was feeling a real nice sexual buzz, and the next minute he's slamming into me like a steam hammer and it hurt like hell. Then he's coming and groaning and grunting like a sweaty pig, cleans up and he's out of there like bat out of hell. Jerk. And he's got the nerve to call a week later - a whole week! Looking for more sex no doubt. I told him to eat shit and die.

I guess I should be a bit thankful. He taught me to wise up, wait until I really know the guy before becoming lovers. A good man is worth waiting for, girls. Don't waste your sexuality on idiots who think with their dicks rather then their brains.

From Jane Noel
Owie, owie, owie that first time. He went where no man had gone before slowly and considerately (I had a really wonderful guy in my life at the time) and sex got much better within a week or so. But the first time? That hurt.

I did have someone who knew what it was like to make love to a virgin, and for a teenager, he had a lot of self-control. (No mad thrusting!) I was really lucky, considering most of the girls I knew lost their virginity under much less joyful or caring circumstance. I feel like the exception, not the rule. We planned our first sexual encounter (more exception than rule again) and I was already on the birth control pill by the time The Deed was done.

But the pain lasting but a moment, then earth-shattering pleasure? Nope. When I read those stories where the pain only lasts a moment, then ecstasy descends, I usually snort. In derision.

From Volponia Fox
My experience was painful, sordid, boring and woefully non-erotic. But I was really just getting rid of the burden of virginity; it was not a long-term, worthwhile relationship, so that's probably not surprising. I've no idea whether being in love with the asshole would have changed the experience for me. I have thought that the 'first time' is something you just do to get it over with, unless you are wise/lucky enough to experience it with someone who loves you.

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