Losing Your Virginity
Fiction Versus Reality

I was reading a few romance books to take my mind to another place. One thing I noticed was that when these women lost their virginity, the pain only seems to surface for a second before the feeling turns into earth shattering pleasure.

After I read through a couple, I noticed that almost all of the romance books are like this. However, when I read other types of literature, I learn that this not true. The woman usually doesn't have a whole lotta fun and it takes a couple of tries to get the earth shattering feeling that these romance women get in just a few seconds.

For the sake of my characters in future stories, my questions to everyone:  Is there nervousness or is it possible for a person going through her/his first experience to know what they're doing? (Realistically?)

Did anyone out there have romance book type experiences where the guy knows what he's doing to the the woman when it is her first time? Did the pain turn to pleasure ever so quickly as stated in the pages of the books I read? Is any of that true? When you read this type of literature, does it come across flaky or real?

How about the guys? Men are almost always portrayed as knowledgeable and experienced. We know that's hardly the case. Don't be shy, tell us: were you nervous, uncomfortable, was your partner helpful, or scornful?    —Alyn Rosselini

I always thought of losing my virginity as a career move.   —Madonna

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From Stacy
I was 14 when I lost my virginity.  To be honest, it was with a guy I had just met (he had no idea I was a virgin).  A total one night stand.

I was (and still am) an avid reader of romance and erotica stories so I was expecting fireworks and for the earth to move.  None of that happened and I was highly disappointed. 

Highly disappointed that is, until I met my steady high school sweetheart about a year after I lost my virginity.  He was the first one to bring me to orgasm.  The earth really did move and I really did see fireworks.

I've LOVED sex ever since.

My husband (no, I didn't marry my high school sweetheart) and I have been married for almost 16 years now (he's a much older man...14 years older than me) knows EXACTLY how to push my buttons and get me off....he did from the very first night we slept together.

From Carrie
For me it happened early, (14 years old). He was 19 and my brother's friend. I developed at a young age and looked about 17. He came over to visit my brother while no one was at home but me in my swim suite. When the time came, I was fully aroused and it only hurt a few seconds, then felt wonderful. Not much pain and only a small amount of blood.

After that night I felt somehow like a woman instead of a girl. The first time was with no condom but after that, went on the pill. I have always had a very strong desire for sex and have had my full share of men. Every girls first time should be as enjoying as mine.

From Sarah-Jane
I was going steady with this chap from college and we had sort of decided that we were almost ready to move our relationship on. My mom - ironically - had been pressing me to "do the deed" as she reckoned that it would do me good to get it out of the way, I think she thought I would get married for the wrong reasons without a bit of life experience. Whilst I didn't want a casual fling and was also quite shy, what I really feared was the loss of control and being taken for granted.

But he was such a sweet guy. One day while I was home for the holidays I went to the well woman clinic and got on the pill. While we were making out once before our break I had promised him that if he waited until I was ready I would be sorted - I felt and told him that "I wanted his stuff inside me" but couldn't say the real word. Then the next Sunday we were doing our French tutorials in his dorm and I slipped him a note that said, "Take down my panties." My heart was pounding and he looked at me. I nodded furiously. He stood up and took my hand and led me over to the bed. He pushed his hands up my skirt and pulled my panties down to the floor. I wagged my head to show him I wanted him to keep going - I couldn't speak - and within a few seconds he had me naked. I dashed into bed and he followed - I was too shy to look at him undressing.

He began to kiss me and suck my nipples. We had done this before but the reality of what was coming made it even more powerful than usual, and by the time he started to finger me I was oozing and I couldn't keep my legs together. I was getting embarrassed and so pulled him on top of me. A bit of fumbling from him and I felt his hard bit pressing and then after a bit of a wincing ouch! he stretched me open as he slid in. He apologized and said he wasn't going to last very long and I mumbled that was fine - I wanted him to finish inside me. Then he thrust into and out of me about six times and groaned and his back went rigid and then I felt it - spurt, spurt, spurt of semen - I could articulate the word - filling my muff. Afterwards he dozed and I gazed at him with a heart full of love and womanly pride, and a womb full of a man's sperm!

From HxC
I lost my virginity last night. I'm more or less naively in love with a guy two years older than me.

It started out at a concert at which I sang with my High School Choir. We sucked and I really wanted to leave. The park was right next door, so me and him walked around for a bit. My mother was there and it was about 8 something. My boyfriend told her she could leave, that he would drive me home if she wanted. she agreed so we stayed and played on the play equipment. It was so much fun. That is until his mom came and it began to get cold.

His mom drove up saying that he parked in a handicap zone and he had been towed; that wasn't the case. We then entered his car, me thinking we were going home, once again that was not the case. instead of going straight we made an 'unexpected turn'. "That's how you fake a mommy person" he said as he parked the car at the same empty park.

We then proceeded to make out in the front seat, touching grabbing whatever. We then made our way into the back seat. He laying me down and me making sure to claw that right spot on the back bottom of his neck.

He asked me if I was sure he was the one. I said yes with out hesitation. He asked me again if I was sure, I thought about it and replied yes again. He took a condom out of his wallet and put it on his member. He slipped my pants off and proceeded to enter me. It hurt soo bad.  Less than I thought it would but hurt none the less.

He was going too fast and I was to the point of crying. I had whispered 'baby it hurts' he whispered back I'm sorry slower?' I shook my head. He then went slower. After a few moments the pain subsided and this slight feeling of pleasure washed over me. he rest of the time was filled with I love you's and silent sighs. That is until my phone rang.

Of course it was my mother asking where I was. I told her we were at subway. I hung up and we went at it again. It hurt in a way but still felt good. I was getting to the point where it felt REALLY good, but yet again the phone rang this time it was his mom warning him of traffic checks off of 601.

We decided that we should stop for the moment. We got up and redressed, and realized we were in his G-ma's car and couldn't find the condom wrapper. I thought it was funny. We both got flashlights and found it. We left for my house and along the way he said "this is the weirdest feeling in the world" I asked him "what" it kinda scared me but then he replied "it's going down and I still have the condom on and it's rolling up" we laughed and he took it off in the car while driving and threw it out the window. The funniest thing ever.

After that we held hands and both of our songs came on. He told me he loved me and that he's never hurt me. I said "promise" he looked me dead in the eyes at a stop light and said "promise" as powerful and honest as he could.

He told me he 'promised himself to me right to the day we got married at sunset at that park at the beach me and my purple tux and you in that dress with the purple on it. And I swear to you you'll look beautiful'

I remember ever word everything and I always will. it was exactly how I wanted it and I love him even if I am young and possibly naive

From Trisha
I lost my virginity at 14 to a slightly older boy. Well, he was big and I was really tight and it hurt like hell, even with lube. I would have never thought that it would become so pleasurable. Each time we had sex it hurt less, until it didn't hurt at all. I am now 36 and it seems like I am horny all the time. And yes, I do like a well endowed man.

So to all the girls, yes it might hurt some but after a few times you're going to love it!

From Sammie
 I lost my virginity when I was 15 years old about 3 years ago and I must say that I am now addicted to sex. I was at home and my sister's boyfriend, who was 25, came to visit. He and I played around for a while until he accidentally touched my breast. I was scared and excited at the same time.

Later that night after everyone went to sleep, he came to me while I was sitting on the couch. He took his hand and started touching my breasts. I began to get wet and horny. I was also very curious how sex felt, so I took his dick out and started to give him blow. Then I asked him to fuck me and I lied on my back and he slowly entered my vagina. I surprisingly felt slight pain, and so he continue to push harder into me. The feeling was remarkable so we continued for about an hour. He came in my mouth and ever since then we became closer.

From Matthew
Yesterday I lost my virginity to my girlfriend of 2 months. She was a virgin as well, so we were both really nervous regarding sex. I had several girlfriends before then, but I never got too far into sexual exploration. I hadn't even been thinking too much about sex at the time, but we were fooling around at my house, watching movies and having fun when she asked me "Is there somewhere we could go where there aren't parents?"

Being the extremely hormonal seventeen-year old guy, I immediately agreed and quickly made up a story for my parents about going over to a friend's house.

We saddled up in my car (where I keep a "just in case" pack of condoms, more as a joke for my friends than anything before now), and drove to a secluded parking lot where there weren't too many pedestrians. I drive a Mercury Mountaineer, so I've got a pretty good sized backseat, and I keep several blankets in my car so we were able to get pretty cozy.

We park, hop in the backseat, and proceed to make out a bit more for a good chunk of time. We didn't engage in all that much foreplay, mainly because she was on her period at the time and that we'd already been at it a bit for a few hours. We started undressing each other, and once we were suitably unclothed I grabbed a condom and started putting it on. It took some time, because I was shaking so hard (nerves, excitement, fear, etc.).

Finally protected, I lay her down on the make-shift bed we made, and proceeded to enter her. Considering I'm a man, and have nothing to break regarding sex, I was a little taken aback when she cried out in pain. I was going slowly, considering we were both virgins and I wasn't entirely sure what I was doing, but regardless it hurt her. A lot. It took us about five minutes of slow penetration to break her hymen and stretch her vaginal muscles enough so she wasn't in too much pain. I noticed blood, but since she was on her period I didn't think much of it at the time considering I had never witnessed menstrual blood before.

From a guy's perspective, it was rather enjoyable, but I didn't have to go through the pain that my girlfriend did. I came rather quickly, maybe a minute into sex, but it seemed so quick that I was rather embarrassed. Somehow I managed to keep my erection going, so I switched out condoms and kept going. I didn't come again, and I don't believe that I brought her to orgasm. That bothered me a bit, but after reading some of the accounts from this amazing website I'm not too concerned now.

She doesn't seem to be upset by the act, if anything it's strengthened our relationship. I love her a lot, and I hope that sex will only get better with time. Hopefully tonight it'll go well.

From Lily
I lost my virginity a week after I turned 17, with my boyfriend of one year. We were at his family's camp in Maine and everyone was out for the afternoon, doing errands or at the beach. We had spent the last year rolling around with each other and nearly having sex many times. We would be rubbing against each other, sometimes with clothes, sometimes without, and the tip of his penis would nudge inside me.

We hadn't exactly decided that this would be the afternoon that I lost my virginity. He had already slept with several people and was two years older than me. But this time we found ourselves in rubbing naked against each other, his penis pushing into me, my hymen already half broken. I remember looking at each other and it seemed like we were both thinking "This is it! One more thrust!" What I didn't expect was that my hymen wasn't completely broken, so there was some pain, but we talked through it and kept going. Then it started to feel... interesting.

He came inside me and he wasn't wearing a condom (smart teenagers, eh?). Afterwards at first I was really upset--I remember asking him "you did that with those other girls?" When we first got together he still had another girlfriend and was sleeping with her. So it made me sad and a little angry to think about what they had been doing before he dumped her and was just with me.

But then... the rest of the day I felt euphoric, like I was let onto this huge secret that I'd been waiting and waiting to take part of. The rest of that vacation we'd have sex at any chance we had. Honestly, his parents would step out of the room and he'd pull his cock through the leg of his shorts and we'd ease it inside me. Needless to say we were totally negligent about birth control. But overall--even with the sadness part--it was a good experience. He was a lot of fun and I was lucky to be with someone who was patient and encouraging and sexy.

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