Is Phone Sex Cheating?

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From M73
It is! And for Steven or Susan or anyone else that doesn't feel this way—have a relationship where you are kept in the dark about what your mate craves (it is more than you!) and then respond again. It is about the boundaries laid out with your partner concerning your relationship. It IS between those two alone. But if something comes up that one is hiding from the other, that is not beneficial to the committed party.

No, no one is a possession, but since you have chosen to be in the relationship, then find out more about what the two of you together can do to spice things up. If Cyber and Phone are what gets your goat, then let your partner know. If you feel it is none of their business and you are doing no harm, then think again. You decided to be with this person, but if you are not getting what you want, you don't have to be there.

Sure, if you are married, it is not so easy, but if it is just your S.O.—what are you doing?!!! You don't have to be uncomfortable with your desires and you don't have to hurt your partner. Think about being solo. What makes you so special that you should be able to have your cake AND eat it too? More individuals thinking like this do nothing but build a foundation for a crumble. Be who you are and if you are single and know these are some of your habits, tell your mate before you take the time to get to know one another. Save yourselves the agony of being a spouse who never knew that the computer and the phone were way more exciting than you!

As for you married folks, if you never talked about it being a part of your marriage, unfortunately it is cheating because someone other than you is fulfilling the partner's "needs" that you signed up for. In any relationship it is cheating.

From Michael
I think phone sex is definitely cheating -- if you try to keep it a secret from your spouse. So why keep it a secret? Like many couples, my wife and I have fantasized through the years about adding a third person to our sex life just for the sake of experimentation. But after talking about it, we agree we don't risk what we have with an actual physical encounter outside marriage.

We have, however, had some very erotic experiences with phone sex. It adds a lot of spice for her to be talking dirty with a total stranger while we're having sex. I even feel comfortable enough to let her do it when I'm not here. It may seem strange to some people, but we believe it's the only safe way to bring an outsider into your sex life.

From Jane
Well..I have done both phone sex and email sex while I was married and MY personal opinion is that phone sex IS cheating while email is more of erotica short stories. I say this because both myself and the gentlemen (more than 1) I was involved with would exchange pictures, call each other when neither of our spouses were around and we'd both have orgasms. In my case these "relationships" would last from a few weeks to several months and be very intense.

Something to think about; IS there something lacking in your personal relationship that you seek/need these other people? Just for the record, I'm now divorced.

From Bria
I've read the comments from some on the site and feel like another perspective has to be given. I currently have phone sex and cybersex with a man I have been talking to online with for about three months. He initiated the relationship on all fronts and it has evolved from cybersex to phone sex. He is in a relationship currently but has a lot of down time and goes online for cybersex just about everyday. I am not the only woman he is having sex with but I am the only woman he has come clean with and told he's attached.

I would have never dreamed I would ever have cyber/phone sex but it makes me feel sexy and so inhibited that I look forward to it. He has a high sex drive and so do I so we click. However, just now the we are starting to talk more on the phone and I don't know where it may lead. Right now, I am enjoying myself and take it day by day.

From zoro
If you are keeping "phone" sex a secret from your spouse than of course it's cheating...in general if one must lie about their actions, something is wrong...I think the simplest way to figure it all out is to ask ourselves how we would like it if the situation were reversed..

From S.B.
I can't really form an opinion on whether phone sex is cheating or not, but after reading some of the horror stories here I felt I had to suggest something. I understand the excitement that comes with phone sex, and am fortunate enough to be spending my life with someone who really understands me on a sexual level.

I had a night job babysitting when my partner and I first got together, and loneliness and an empty bed were almost overwhelming those nights I worked. To compensate for this, after the kids were taken care of and put to bed, my guy would give me some calming time on phone.

Conversation with him is always wonderful, and as he knows I like it, frequently led to sex. It was a time for us to open our minds and push to the limits to turn each other on 45 miles apart, and I always fell asleep with a smile.

May I suggest that those craving the excitement of phone sex experiment with their own partners? Try a cell phone and just go in different rooms. And don't say that you are wanting to do it with a person you don't really know, because this will open all kinds of doors, and I promise that you will learn something about one another. It's just a thought, something to liven up some dull time, and something new to try.

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