Younger / Older Relationships

What are the Expectations?

Younger / Older Relationships can be hot...

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From Tigerlily
To Jim the Younge [see entry below] ­ Whoa, that gave me a jolt. You almost sound like you are channeling him. I have 2 kids too, and we are 12-ish years apart. But I think I was the one that would have wanted more than just the sex. Okay, I get it. I was imagining false hope. Let it go. The truth was there, hovering in the back of my mind. I just needed a man like you to gently but firmly smack me on my ass and move me along. Thank you for that.

To all you guys out there, try if you can to find the courage to tell it to her straight up if it’s over. Most women will hold you in high esteem for it. Especially in this older woman/younger man arena. Fine women are endurance thoroughbreds, and these are the women it appears you are talking about on these pages. We can take it, even prefer to. It tells us that you hold us in high esteem. We would rather you tell us and then we’ll take a long walk on a rainy moor, the tears mixing with the rain until dark. And then we’re done, and we can close that chapter, that book. And though we might feel hurt, we feel complete, heal, move on. And that means something to us. I don’t presume to speak for all women here. My apologies to those ladies that don’t agree. I am curious what your take is on this?

I have a question for you Jim and other guys out there. Is it about seeing what 40-somehting ­ or 50-something for that matter ­ is like in bed? Is it just about sex and checking that out? No problem with that. Or is there a stronger, deeper pull on you by an older, beautiful woman. Because I think at least some of you are high performance guys (not the same thing as high maintenance). You are physically and mentally demanding in your personal and professional lives and you have a laundry list of qualifications that you want in a woman. Girls/women your age often just don’t come up to the mark. An older woman does come up to the mark but yet there is something uncomfortable for you about her. You guys need a woman with some depth and grit. I was that when I was younger, and I am that now. But had you met me, young and just forming at 25 or so, I don’t know if you would have noticed me as you do now. Do you see what I am saying? She is going to be hard find, this younger woman with the depth, intelligence, confidence, heart that you yearn for. Are you finding her out there guys?

Oh, and someone was wondering if older women appreciate good sex more. I think so. Often, those pressures of the search for a mate for children, financial security, approval, appreciation ­ it’ just not there and this is very liberating. We like that you think we are beautiful and beyond that we just want you to bring everything you have to the table ­ or the bed as it were, and let’s play. FYI ­ you are always more than just the sum or you body parts and your strong back. Even if it’s "just sex". It’s everything that makes you who you are ­ your body, your drive, ambition, intelligence, humor, heart etc. There is always a mental/emotional pull. That’s when the sex is really good I think.

From Anonymous
One of my uncles (a cousin of my father) and I have been best friends for years. A couple of years ago he asked me to attend a very fancy party with him and, after hours of talking, laughing, dancing and drinking, he kissed me. I could have hated him for that but I loved him too much and I kissed him back... It all happened very fast and in such a natural way!

We have been lovers for two years now. It was hard for me to have to turn him down when he asked me to marry him. He was 61 and I was 29. We both know we need to find different persons for each other. I want a family and kids, but he is a grandfather now (my cousin, his son, is my age). And of course I fear the reaction of the rest of the family; he doesn't care, but I do.

I truly love this man, and what I want to say is that I have had with him some of the most pleasant sex encounters I've ever had. We love each other in a very strange way, and we have like a world of our own every time we share a bed.

Sometimes I wish he was younger so we could have a life together, but I realize it is his age what makes him a great lover and the person I know and came to love. Not only he is witty, interesting and a winner (wealthy and powerful), but he is athletic, sweet, tender and... a stallion. I adore having sex with him!

He is my best friend and I try not to think about what is going to happen yet among us, but I am sure I don't regret at all that I kissed him back when he kissed me that first time.

From Sandy
I'm 39 and divorced last year. The past month I've been having a casual dating/sex relationship with a younger guy I met at the gym. He's 24 and the sex is amazing. Hard body, endless endurance, a rigid erection, and he can come and be rock hard again within a minute. And unlike my ex- husband, this guy can match my sexual energy. We've been shagging like rabbits in heat! I say 3 cheers for younger men

From Lindsay
I think it depends more on the person than anything else. I've recently been having regular sexual encounters with a younger man I met. I'm 38 and he's 23. I think at the beginning we both kind of assumed I was "supposed" to take charge. But once we got over that expectation we realized we both find it very exciting for him to be in control. 

Despite his more limited experience he's outstanding in bed, and I don't feel I have to take charge to make it work. Quite the opposite, I'm having some of the best orgasms of my life by letting him run the show. And I find it very exciting to be on my back being "taken" by an aggressive younger man.

From Anonymous
I'm a 32 yr old female who's boyfriend will be turning 60. Ladies, let me tell you what your missing! I have the best sex of my life with this man. He's incredibly sexy, well hung, and is totally committed to pleasing me. We share great intimacy, share fantasies with each other, and oh yeah...erotic communication is the key!

From Lucy
I'm 27 and have recently finished a 5 year relationship that was heading towards marriage and children. I now have started dating a 21 year old who is completely on my wave length. I had been spending a lot of time with him as my boyfriend at the time just stayed in and watched telly (boring) whilst my new love wanted to go everywhere with me. I finished my long relationship when I realized my feelings for this other man. Although the age gap isn't that big, it still bothers me a little, but he thought I was 22 so don't know what I'm talking about really. He's amazing!

From Kandy
I am 24, and my husband is 42. We have been married for four and a half years and have a almost 4 year old daughter together. He is a truck driver who comes home every weekend. When we are in bed together it is usually shoot bang and we are done. Last night we were in the process, I had asked him to talk dirty to me, while we were engaged in sex, you know things like, you feel so good, your pussy is so tight on my hard cock, I love that sort of stuff. 

When I was all hot and heavy and asked him to talk dirty to me all he could say is I don't know how to. Well with that I started laughing and so did he. That pretty well ruined the mood. It was funny, but I need more than wham, bam thank you m'am. I told him that I was going to get on the internet and see if I could print up a list of things that he could say in the heat of passion, or even just to get me into the mood. I don't want to end up getting tired of the same old thing.

From Smitten Beyond Belief
I need help! My neighbor is single and 12 years younger than I am. He is sexy and in great shape, I am so attracted to him I find myself feeling like a teenager again. I don't think he feels the same way and want to feel out the situation before opening my big mouth. I am out of shape and I think that holds me back a lot, he is beautiful and so mature and confident. We talk a lot about whatever pops up at the time. We get along so nicely, and there is a lot of sexual tension at least I feel it, I can't speak for him.

Sometimes I just want to scream out, "I want you!!" or "take me please" but I don't. That is one thing age has taught me, be cool, calm and watch and wait, if the signals are clearly coming back to me then go for it. I want to get closer to him without freaking him out and scaring him away. Please, any comments tell me! Thank you.

From Jess
I'm a 23 y/o guy who has fallen for his best friend who is 46. She's great, we've known each other for 6 years but have become closer in the last 3 years. I don't know if she ever has thoughts about me being more than close friends. We go out and have dinner, hang out and talk for hours (about everything). I've met her family and went on vacation with her, it was fun. When we're together we do have fun, but it seems like I think about her more and more. To the older women out there, what do you think?

From Tender & Wild
I am 54. He is 23. We have been together for 4 years. We live together, share every beautiful day together. We both feel truly blessed. We're both socially careful of the minds of others. Don't want to make waves etc. Yet, our families are supportive and we have a really beautiful life together. He's my perfect lover. We are great sex machines. Sometimes, we make love 5 times a day. The power of this love is the best of my whole life. Don't waste a minute of this life. Enjoy!

From Chris
I think an older woman is good for a younger man. Simply because she can experience him in life and in the bedroom. It is easier for an older woman to mold and shape a younger man then the other way around in most cases.

However their is a big double standard when it comes to that. When a older woman dates a younger man...she is seen as desperate (which is not the case most of the time). Yet in the same situation, a younger man can be seen as the man or a playa (which while good for a man's ego, is not good in the eyes of other women).

If the relationship is honest, then it should not matter what people think.

From Meri
Wow. The number of women responding to this who are actually into younger guys surprises me. I guess if I were into them, I'd probably go for it, too, since I don't believe in holding back if something really turns you on (life's way to short). 

The thing about men is, no matter how old they get, unless they're anal type A's and lack the ability to remain youthful and open-minded, they just don't seem to age. A good number of them actually seem to get hotter. Maybe that's because they don't spend eons dying their hair and tanning themselves into prunes like so many women seem to do to battle aging. 

My favorite part though is, (sorry babyfood of the world!), once they pass the 40ish mark, you actually get to take the map down from above the bed! Who knows, I'm 33 now, so maybe later in life, I'll get into them. Sounds like the rest of you are having a great time out there. Cheers!

From Marilyn
I have started dating a very inexperienced younger man. He's 28. All he had before me was missionary position sex with one girl. He wants so badly to please me, and he does good oral but it isn't happening for me. I feel like an air traffic controller when I give him directions, and his self- esteem is suffering. Help!

From Teresa
I met a younger guy on-line 7 years ago and we met in person...he was 28 and I was 42. We had a wonderful, well- rounded relationship for 3 1/2 years. The sex was unbelievable! He told me later that he found older women were so much better in a relationship because we knew what we wanted and weren't afraid to ask for it, we were more confident about our bodies (if he only knew!), and we were more mature, period. We're still very good friends.

From Salina
I just met a 23 year old man who totally swept me off my feet. We met at a friends house and that was it, the sexual tension was palpable. As we continued talking and getting heated I told him my age..38. His jaw dropped and he couldn't believe it. To top it off he knows my son who is 18. All this aside, we had great sex. My son is not an issue and the stigma attached seems silly. I don't know where this is headed but I know I will enjoy every moment of it until it ends, IF it ends. We'll see...

From Janice
I'm 58 and he just turned 18! I realize that I was 40 when he was born. I have 3 sons and all 3 are older than him. Their ages are 26, 30, and 32. Not to mention, his mom is only 41. At first, it used to freak me out, but now that I've gotten used to the idea, our relationship has really blossomed. 

He is extremely sexy and mature. He looks like an Abercrombie model and was blessed with a big cock. I love being on top. It hits my hot spot like you would not believe and I have multiple O's for hours! I realize this post may sound blunt, but I wanted to encourage you ladies to go for the younger guys. They make amazing lovers. Try it.

From Pittsburgh Steelers fan
Have had several experiences with older woman. First one was with my first boss when I was 22. We went out one night after work and went to a club where we bumped and grinded, and she was a little put off. She asked me out later the following week, and we proceeded to have sex for the first time that time. Had some good initiations into hot fucking, and she appreciated my young male stamina. Had to leave that job to go to NYC.

While on work in London, met another older woman after picking her up in a bar. Took her to my hotel room and shagged her rotten, and she later gave me a bootie call when she visited NYC for business.

Latest time (I'm now 34) has been with an older woman I thought was 39, but turned out to be 49. Couldn't tell, cause she was fit and toned. Enjoyed the sessions with her, and while she was insistent on how I performed what with her, she did fulfill my desires too (blow jobs in the car), grabbing her hair and coming on her face afterwards, swallowing my love juice, etc.) Enjoyed the moments with her.

Have not had a session with a mom though, since all of my older lovers have never had kids. I suppose a fit trim mom may be appealing, but don't know about the nether regions responding...I am a rookie in that regards.

From Shameless
The year I turned 50, instead of "drying up", I seemed to burst back into sexual flame. I fell into a mad affair with a guy who turned 27. It was Great...and fraught with conflicting emotions on both sides. It lasted for about 6 months.

Following that intensity, I became a cyber-babe. I find I have the best connections with the younger men, though I raised the age limit now.

Myself, I'm now 52. I have intense sexual cyber with 2 different men (at different times, in case that wasn't clear.) One of my men is 31, blue collar; the other 32, white collar.

While I probably won't meet either one of them - they both make me very very happy, and I them. So that's at least 3 people on earth who go to bed smiling.

From Anonymous
I was in a relationship with a married women ten years my senior for almost four years. The sex was the best and till today I miss her both in and out of bed.

From Anon.
Anonymous (see below) you've got to be kidding. May/December or March/October relationships will lead to the breakdown of society? Yeah. If true, we'd already be living the Talking Heads song "Life During Wartime."

Similarly, if looking at in-laws sexually led to the breakdown of society, we already would be an anarchic world of AK-47 toting mercenaries, blowing each other away over orgasms, oil and ketchup. Who hasn't looked at their in-law of their spouse's gender and considered "what was he/she like when he/she was my husband/wife's age? Would I have found him/her hot?" and "If that's my husband/wife in 30 or 40 years, will I still be sexually attracted to him/her?"

I know my wife has had thoughts like that about my Dad as I have about her mother. My wife is nine years older. The only drawback to our age difference is her still being close to her sexual prime as I'm well-past mine. Otherwise, we click perfectly. She's very child-like and grew up a bit spoiled while the running joke among my friends and I is I was a crotchety old man as a teenager. Our cultural touchstones are similar.

I've had some huge gaps in some sexual relationships. A 38- year-old at 22 and a 44-year-old at 27. Both women were devastatingly sexy with vast reservoirs of sexual energy and fit strong hourglass figures that would shame women half their age. Good time was had by all.

From Allen
I am 20 a male and I am now dating a 37 woman. At first I had a crush on her, but never thought that she would go for a younger guy until one day she was talking about this restaurant that she liked. So I told her that I would like to try it and that we should go there one day and when she agreed it took me by surprise. 

We then went to dinner and a movie. We just had a casual conversation and we went on about 3 dates after that. Nothing happened on the date until one night I was talking to her on the phone and she mentioned how she just wanted to be happy in life and I told her that I thought I could do that. 

The next date we went on we kissed and about 2 months later we started making love. We have been going out for about 6 months now and we are both deeply in love. I have always been attractive to older women and now I know why and that's because they are a really mature and already know what they want in life. Also they have experience in making love more than a younger woman and the sex is just out of this world!

From John
I'm in my early 20's and find that women of age suit me best. This is mainly due to the fact that I connect better to them on a sexual level. Thru my entire life I have adored older women and have had quite a few intimate relationships with women mainly in their 50's. 

I'm currently involved in a relationship with a 58 years old lady, introduced to me by my mother. She's very open-minded and we have a lot of fun together, as with most couples of our sort we find ourselves complementing each other stunningly well. Sex life couldn't be better, and we both appreciate our differences, after all it's what makes our tight fit and amazing bond.

From Anonymous
Don't! Do not go with a younger guy! I'm now 33 and she's 40. She's beautiful, and still looks great. But she wants marriage, she wants children and she feels time is going by - she fears it's too late, more and more... But I'm not ready to marry her - but please don't say that I'm not ready because I don't love her. I love her, but... it's early my job, my career - I cannot marry now later yes - but she says she has no time!

From Young one looking for mature love
I'm only 18 and I find myself crushing on a woman that's about 35. We work together and we converse all the time. I noticed I had feelings her when I was at home one night and couldn't stop thinking about her. I tried to talk myself out of it, but every time I saw her at work the more I wanted her.

One day I found the courage to tell her how I felt. She just said she didn't know what to say besides the fact that she was flattered. I wanted her to say she wanted me, but she didn't, even though I felt she does. I later found out that our age gap is what she is most uncomfortable with. I'm gonna keep messing with her to see if she will come around. And if not, I'll just pack my feelings and move on....

From Anonymous
Rahul [see Rahul's entry below], you're not much of a friend by sleeping with your "best friend's mom", and people this is another classic wake-up call of what happens when we begin to encourage dating, sex, and love between people who differ in age by 20 yrs or more. There's no respect left then for the appropriate relationships, for eg. consider father-in-law mother-in-law relations, if you begin looking at people of another generation in a sexual way, you're going to lose the appropriate and proper relation with your in-laws and even begin seeing them sexually! This in turn will lead to the breakdown of family structure and society ultimately.

From Bunnyrun
I am married to a wonderful young man 20 years younger. I get along with him very well because he is flexible (in more ways than one) and he is patient, understanding and mature. I have been with him since he was 18. Married him a year and a half ago. It still feels like the honey moon. I love my Hubbie Bear till death do us part. Me 42 him 22.

From Ytoc
When I first started to attend college I met a 34 year old recently divorced woman who I shared my virginity with, and had amazing sex with over the course of a couple weeks. I tried looking at girls my age and around my age, but I can't stop wondering if I could get in with this lady at work who is 46 years old, and has made passes at me about sex, I just can't stop thinking about the age factor and whether or not its wrong? help!

From Rich
I'm currently 35 and I've found myself attracted to ladies older than myself. My last relationship was with a woman of 47, and I so miss the companionship that we had. She was so confident in herself.. She didn't have any hang-ups about her body - just accepted herself for who she was and strove to live each day to its fullest. That confidence in one's self will make any woman sexy no matter what her age. 

From Giovanna Williams
I am an 38 year old woman who is in love with an 18 year old man... I fell in love with him way before we ever had sex, we met through an friend and we became good friends before we even became lovers, I do have an 18 year old daughter which she wasn't too happy about me and his relationship.

But our relationship was special we would talk all night on the phone about everything, then when he would stay ova to the house we would talk all night long about everything possible, he is the 2nd younger man that I have ever went out with I do like younger men before I would ever go out with someone my age or older ever again. I find that I have a lot more in common with the younger crowd anyway I guess cause they forget how old I am cause I look like I'm 21 no older then 26 so its easy for the guys to come on to me when they are younger.

I don't know why people are making such a thing out of younger guys with older women when the men have been doing it for years. now it is our turn to take control of the world and just do what make us happy for once in our lives

I have dated an guy that was 2 years older then me and the things that I do like to do he was always saying that he was too damn old for that and for this. I was raised that you ain't never too old for anything.

From Bob
To the guy 15years older than his 'love':  After almost 30 years of misery I have met a lady of 40 and for the first time in my life I am truly smitten. Nothing else seems to matter in life but her. My mother used to say 'There's no fool like an old fool'. Any thoughts?

From Anonymous
I'm 43, he is 25. I'm having the best time ever. I don't want this wonderful person to fall prey to some money hungry, life sucking, ignorant dependent....until he knows a few things about bad women....

From Rahul Roysin
I had a wonderful experience losing my virginity to my best friend's mom. She was the aggressor that day when I was alone with her at her place. Between a normal conversation, she started telling adult jokes. I was embarrassed until suddenly she sat knelt in front of me on the floor, unzipped my fly, took my dick into her mouth and gave me a heavenly blowjob. After that she and I are secret fuck mates for the past five years or so. It's really great making love to an older woman. I am 25 and she is 45. But I will go for her rather than any beauty queen.

From Miguel
I am 22 years old and in college. My teacher who was 45 kept flirting with me after class. When I finally graduated from college. I got the nerve to ask her on a date. When we were on the date she told she was 55 years old. I was thinking in my head "Damn". But when I walked her home she asked me to come in and I did. 

She doesn't really look old and she has a very big butt and some great boobs. So I sat on the couch and she came out in the tightest thong I ever saw and the smallest bra ever. So she got me on the couch and we had great passionate sex. Even though we each took charge. I loved her great black body. Well now I'm 27 and she's 60 but were still going out. I might ask her to marry me soon.

From Hawk
I'm 19 soon to be twenty. I've never had a relationship because of work and study. However a new guy has started working at my place. I remember him from school (and he remembers me) but he's four years younger than I am. Things happened when no one was looking at work. We joked, we stole close intimate moments with one another but this is when we were alone at work. Whenever someone is around he goes into a shell and I sometimes get disappointed thinking it has something to do with me. I don't know what to do. 

He's shy and unsure. I've asked him to the movies (kinda) and he gave a kinda 'I don't know' I really like him and I'm sure he really likes me, but when we're ALONE together. I would like some advice. Should I take the controls?

From Anonymous
I have always liked the maturity level of women older than I. When she was 25 and I was 20, I saw her as an attractive woman and experienced. When she reacted and responded to me, it was always as an equal. Now that she is 53 and I'm about to turn 48, I find that we both understand and can appreciate a mature response to sexual needs and desires. She knows what she likes and I know what I like and we both seem to get pleasure from the pleasure we give each other. We don't have to play games, but we like to play. Knowing and trusting that when we are together, anything can and probably will happen. We do not want to hurt our spouses, however they are not taking care of business at home, and after all, we are only human.

From Anonymous
I had a brief affair when I was younger, married with two children (I 25, he 20). It was a relationship I could never quite let go of. It wasn't just an affair of the flesh - we had become close friends. We were in contact a few times (not physically) through the years. He married and had a family. Twenty six years after our "affair" I sent him a flyer for my retirement. I just wanted him to know that I still thought about him. It had been 10 years since we had had any contact. I was now 52 and he, 47.

I retired and moved 150 miles away from the city. We started e-mailing each other - about our present lives, but mostly about what happened all those years ago. It wasn't long before the e-mails were very sexual and erotic. A couple months later we made plans to meet. I drove to the city for a couple of days. Our meeting and the sex was AWESOME! Those 26 years just melted away. He understands that sexual response usually begins with the mind. He can fuel my mind and body with just his words and touch. His e-mails can get me on the brink of orgasm.

We are both still married (and will stay that way). We have found a tolerable measure of existence in our marriages. But, we need each other for that sensual, sexual intimacy we don't get in our marriages. We don't think it wrong - although others may judge it as that. Before he came back into my life my sexual life was non- existent. I was beginning to think I was getting too old for that part of life. Guess what??? I'm more sexual now than I was in my 20's or 30's. It's a real turn on to know that a younger man thinks about and wants me. I feel alive again. My only regret - that we can't be together more often than we are. 

A younger man? - you bet!

From Chip
I'm 23... college degree, great paying job... I've always been known around the neighborhood as the mature one! I've never been into females my age... I love mature women... I've been trying to get with this 32 year old, but she won't allow anything to happen... I've done many things to let her know I’m interested; flowers, spa, cooked dinner, etc. I still got no play!

From JJ
I am 48 and he is 36.We have known each other over 12 years. We were only friends at that time and went separate ways. We reconnected just 2 months ago, we both are divorced. There was an instant attraction from the get go. He said age was no problem to him and we flirted and I left it at that. A week passed and then I got a phone call and we talked over 2 hours and one topic lead to another and he came over and spent the night. The sex was absolutely out of this world! 

It has been 2 month now and I am having feelings I have not felt in a long time. Can't sleep, can't eat and he is always on my mind. We work together and we keep things quiet. Now that is a big turn on knowing that this luscious hunk is around me, his smell, sexual excitement....what a turn on! 

All the other younger women have now idea why he is not paying any attention to them and there is a competition they feel they have to pursue. If they only knew that an older woman got the gold. He is sweet, sensuous, handsome and has a great body. He treats me like a queen! I have been with and married to older men and there is no comparison. Older men do not like aggressive women and that they should be submissive and controlled. 

This is my first experience with a younger man and I have no idea why I waited so long! I feel more attractive, wanted and desired. I am just as beautiful now as I was in youth....he just brought it back out! Butterflies and everything! To the women out there...if there is an opportunity out there...grab it!

From Geno
Yes well there isn't a great age difference here but I just turned 53, I'm a good looking handsome gentleman spanker. The lady I'm seeing is 57, we are from the same neighborhood, but when I was  younger she was in a different circle of friends. We both where married a couple of times, to different people. 

I moved from Astoria to the Island, she never moved. I met her on a spanking site, we both were exploring, trying out different things. Well we met, dated and have had a spanking good time since. Kissing, talking, holding, spanking, great sex. She has been the most exciting Lady I have know. I hope to spent many loving hours in her arms

From Hristiyan
I'm a 22 year old guy, and from my personal opinion, older women aren't emotionally crippled, and most don't just watch to "DO IT"... As in, there is a greater emotional bond, and younger women don't understand this. The "ACT" its self from what I think is mostly emotional, and once that is understood, it can be nothing less than incredible. 

The oldest woman I'd ever been with was 9 years old than I, she had been through the emotionless one night stands, quickies, and had figured out that there is a greater need than the "ACT". It's also a fact that men, in general don't live as long women, so instead of wasting time with an immature girl, it might be best to spend a life-time with a woman!

From Eric
After reading these posts I must agree, I'm 23 and the past 3 relationships I've had were with women 10, 14, and 18 years my senior. I find the conversation to be more stimulating, mature, (rather than the usual college girls who talk about getting drunk every weekend). I've dated women my own age and there's something missing. I don't know, there's just something about women older than me!

From Anonymous
I am 33 he is 18 its so refreshing like a breath of fresh air but how do I get over the feeling of being judged a crazy woman for being in love with a mere boy?

From Tim 24m
My names Tim I'm a 5' 11" dirty blond hair hazel blue eyes medium build male from NYC....well moving to NYC soon (I do work here) but I love older women.....I can remember since I was 16 I had a thing for my mom's best friends.....

Wow something about an older woman is seductive and how sensual they are...and that they know exactly what they want...as I think about it now, I wish I could be the one making some of you ladies sizzle with exoticness. And thanks for letting me participate in this forum it's great.

From Anonymous
I'm about 40 now and happily married to a woman almost a decade younger than me. But I had three significant relationships with women significantly older than me. It got to be a pattern. When I was 19, I started seeing a woman who was 35. We already knew each so it started pretty easily. It was the first time I fell in love. I was awkward around women my age. They intimidated me somehow. What I liked was that she was a great companion. Romantic, funny, smart, and so on. And assertive, which I needed her to be. As far as the sex, it was very good, though pretty much on her terms, when she wanted it. 

The thing is, women just don't stop being beautiful. I always thought that women in their forties were hot. Their skin, the wrinkles starting to form around their eyes. And when I was younger, I really wanted someone to have conversations with, to teach me how to cook and arrange a room, to take walks with and go to movies with and discuss books. I had that, three times, and it was great. Never enough sex, by my standards, but what are you going to do?

So if you're a woman attracted to a guy significantly older, just consider if you have similar interests, and whether he is attracted to you. Does he get a little clumsy in your presence? Does he try not to let you catch him looking at you? Those are signs. I think older woman / younger man is a beautiful combination. Probably it could last, but in many instances I think it would be ideal as a match up when a woman wants a man who adores her, doesn't have expectations, is wild with happiness that a woman wants to have sex with him, doesn't have a lot of baggage, has an erection that will last for hours and will spring back up not too long after orgasm, etc.

From Kay Four
I am a female who just turned 50. I don't look or feel 50 and most people who see me put my age in the late 30s. The past two sexual relationships I have had are with younger men... one is 14 years younger and one is 18 years younger then me. Both relationships were incredible. I was the one who had to get over myself and just go for it, not worrying about what other people say when I am dating younger men. Both men were invigorating and exciting and I was never freer or happier than when having sex with my young men.

I think my next boy friend will be at least 10 years younger.

From MP
I have always been attracted to older women. but I don't know how to approach them. What should I say? There are few older women that I know, that the attraction between me and her is there, but she is married, but she flirts with me all the time, like she just wants to be fuck-buddies. I'm 23, she is 38. She is gorgeous with a 34-32-36 body, and I know she wants it. But how can I approach her without being rude or so young, you might say?

From Chris
A year ago I hooked up with a 45 year old woman when I was 25. After we got over the obvious strangeness of the situation, we learned how to have great times together over the last year. Women my age are often very annoying to me, and her maturity and openness was an incredible breath of fresh air. 

She is totally unabashed during sex, letting me know what she wants and listens to what I want, and has more stamina. She literally can't keep herself off me, even in the morning after staying up late the night before. I didn't expect her to do everything, but rather alternate active/passive roles every ten minutes or so. Sex is a two way street; don't assume you'll always get to be active or passive in any given situation.

From Southern Student
I worked at a small office for 6 years a few years ago and one of the secretaries was an extraordinarily gorgeous 44 year-old woman. The only problem, I was 21 and she was married. Fortunately for me, her husband was a real asshole and he cheated on her several times during their 20 year marriage (what a fool, seriously!). Anyway, I fantasized about this woman CONSTANTLY for 4 years and one day (shortly after I turned 21) she told me to come to the office on Saturday for a "surprise." The thought of sex naturally entered my mind, but I was a realist nonetheless. The result was the sexual encounter to end all sexual encounters.

We didn't have sex that day (did just about everything else, but sex didn't happen for a week or so), but I had such a powerful orgasm it made me stupid. Anyway, the sex was unbelievable. I'd never had a woman come in such a way (you know..."Oh my God I'm gonna co, co, come!") and (remember, I was only 21) I'd never seen a woman manually stimulate her clitoris during intercourse (it was simply breath-taking). I can honestly say that she has been, to date, the only "fantasy come true" I've had in my life. 

Guys, if you have the chance to make love to an older woman, don't be a moron (as in don't let the opportunity pass...and remember that these are LADIES, not girls...) SEIZE THE DAY!

From Anonymous
I have recently met an 18 year old man, I'm 48, and we are very attracted to each other. I think he wants me as bad as I want him, but how do I approach him. I don't want to appear too eager, or desperate. We have so much in common, despite the age difference, and can sit and talk for hours on end, yet I'm afraid to make a move.

From Dawn
I am dating a younger man. I love all the attention he gives me. At first I thought that he was really too young and so did my whole family. I did not think it would last. He is still around after 9 months. He is 18 years my junior. Great stuff!

From Young Stud
I ADORE older women! The older the better. I love sexy mature women aged 40-85! I am 25. I just think that they are far more attractive. And, I love their natural bodies whatever shape they may be in!

From Judy
I'm Mrs. 47 married to a Mr. 34, and the sex is great! We spend endless days and nights exploring what each other need to enhance individual and multiple orgasms. Communication is the key to any relationship. He lets me know what he wants and I let him know what I want, and right now he wants me to come to him. Gotta go!

From Elizabeth
What is the best way to approach a younger man to see if he is interested and not grossed out?! I am afraid he will die laughing or just be embarrassed. I am 42 he is 22. I have a major crush!

From Nathan
Hi everyone, I'm 22 and reading these posts has prompted me to reveal my desires for older women. They so turn me on, but I'm yet to find one.  I need someone to show me the ropes as I'm inexperienced, and it is easy to talk to them.

From 48 & happy
I'm 48 female and dating a 23 yr old. Talk about stamina! I say 'whatever works'! You know when you connect with someone, sexually, mentally, or whatever. Go for it regardless of age differences.

From 39FemaleWhite
Hi! When I met my guy a year ago, I was 39 and he only 27. He initiated the relationship. I thought he only wanted to be "friends." He wanted a serious one-on-one exclusive relationship and we have been together for 3 years now. When he told me "I don't care about your age," I  did not believe him at first. He is gorgeous, virile and brilliant. A dream come true. I do look only 26 or so myself (no surgery or anything) and so when we first met, he thought that I was actually younger than he.

However, he never cheats, and I love him dearly. I think we may even marry. The only problem is our friends and his parents present a problem because he is inhibited to tell them my age. But I would not trade my Mr 27 for the world! I love him and vice-versa! Why should men be the only ones for whom dating younger is the rule? It just ain't anymore or has been hidden for years. We women do it too! 
Mrs. 40 AND Mr. 29 (Forever Together in Love)

From Anonymous
I too managed to stop the re-growth of my virginity with a guy 19 years my junior. I'm 53 years old. I have no idea why he pursued me and wasn't even aware in the beginning that he was pursuing me. One thing led to another and after a couple of months, I invited him over.

Same thing happened, he expected me to teach him things while I just wanted to enjoy every minute of what he had to offer. And, again, the foreplay was great, multiple orgasms on my part, but when it came to the actual deed, he was rather passive with nothing much to offer. In fact, I don't think he kissed me the entire night.

I thought that with time I would be less inhibited and would eventually get around to teaching him what I did know from my 37 years of sexual experience, but I never got the opportunity. The entire friendship and apparent one-night stand was over the next morning. I've had much better sex with older guys. Younger guys? Don't buy the hype.

From Demi
I am 48 years old. I had been dating a boy who is 19 years old and now we are happily married. I must say our sex life has been great!

From Larry
About 10 years ago I moved into a new apartment, at that time I was 48, the next door neighbor was 69. Rather nice body for her age. She came over one day, to introduce herself, and one thing lead to another, and we were in the bed. She was quite wonderful, nice breasts, and loved all positions. she had multiple organisms. We had sex for a few months.

From Ryan
I have been in a relationship with an women ten years my senior and loved it. Sex with her was great and she taught me so much which is unbelievable.

Due to certain unavoidable reasons we had to split but I strongly recommend men to go for women at least five years senior.

From Naji
My wife is 2 years older than I. We met each other over the Internet and our love was not spontaneous, it was gradual, and we didn't know when we started loving each other. But one thing was sure that we loved each other and even proposed well before we met each other in person.

Sex has been the wonderful point in our elder/younger relation, of course, after marriage. Though she is less dominant in the bed, she steers our sex deeds to perfection. And at times, she loves female-superior position, which shows that she loves dominating too... She's very considerate and never so demanding.

But I set standards for myself and I strive to achieve that. In between our sex, I indulge myself in asking what are her favorite spots, so that I can kindle her to achieve multiple orgasms. Initially, she used to be a bit inhibited, may be because all girls in India are forced to be slow-starters in sex.

While we dated before marriage, when I ejaculate a bit too early, I used to be a bit depressed, which depression she used to clear saying everything will be OK. This requires maturity, which will be missing in younger woman. She does not make an issue if a Sunday is NO-SEX Sunday owing to various reasons, coz she manages herself very well and she knows what she wants and when she wants.

So, heaven saved me from marrying a younger girl. Right now, I am enjoying my sex life with my wife, without even a pinch of regret that she's elder to me. I hope the future couples all over the world will be more like us, i.e. elder woman / younger man.

From Anonymous
I've been the younger man in a relationship. Now I'm many years older, but remember why each of us did it. I was married, 33 and she was 49. It was instantaneous attraction. The relationship lasted several years. It's quite simple. I had nearly destroyed a marriage with an affair several years before, about 8 years into the marriage. Read women's fantasies, they are seldom about husbands. If you're a husband, you've struck out, no matter how romantic, uninhibited and sexual you might be. You can't compete with the fascination of casual sex. I was devoted to the marriage, but still needed sex.

Someone noted older women "know their stuff". Actually, they just know what's sex for the pure joy of sex. I remember 2 things she said to me "I'll never call your wife" and "you're the icing on the cake". A 49 year old divorcee, she knew exactly what she wanted—to live her life without entanglements.

I was 33, trim, hair in a ponytail—all the things that would seem so opposite from her. A friend? Yes. A lover, absolutely. I needed the same—just uninhibited sex and sensuality for the pure joy or it. Drinking coffee together naked—making love in a kitchen chair and so many other spontaneous moments.

From Cleo
I think that whatever makes a person happy, they should go for it... I am 49 and he was 29... and I too am told that I do not look my age. I am glad for it, cause if he is an example of the stamina of youth; I am all for it!

From Richard
I've had several affairs with women older than me and have found them to be very gratifying. Although I usually take charge in bed it has been my experience that my partners have wanted to experience everything that I can come up with and are very frank about their desires and needs. They appreciate my stamina and I their willingness.

An older woman excites me to no end and I can only look forward to the more mature ladies as I get older. Looking forward not back.

From Frances Deadbeat
I don't know, my boyfriend is younger than me (not much younger though but still) and he likes being the aggressive but then we have just as much fun when I try to wrestle my way into a more dominant position. Look I think that you should tell him what you feel. Maybe he is just trying to be considerate, also he might be worried about your experience level and doesn't want to scare you off.

At the start my boyfriend was very careful with me because he didn't want to go where I didn't want to without him actually asking where I wanted to go. So I told him what I liked and it turned out that he liked it as well. In some ways I am more dominant, but I think it is more him. Its a bit of give and take.

From Anya
I'm 41, and I find I rarely go out with, (or am rarely attracted to,) men older than 30. I just seem to be on the same wavelength, sexually, as men in that 18 to 34 demographic, and they seem so free of the societal baggage that people of my generation are typically burdened with.

From Anonymous
I am 55, he is 47. We've been together on and off for over 10 years. It's like we met out match. There was a small amount of feeling awkward and then the horses were out of the gate. There was no stopping us! I taught him, he taught me. At times we taught others. He makes every part of me sing and I never fail to bring him to attention.

I have not ever had anyone else that can give me such fantastic orgasms. And there is the problem. He doesn't want to commit just have fun. At this time I don't want to give him up so I'm going along. I don't know what will make me say, that's the last orgasm.

From Siobhan
He's 35 and I'm 47. I had just met him at his workplace—as a working writer doing his bartending gig—and I was not looking for anything in particular. But when I first saw him I thought," Damn he is fine!" and then he smiled at me and I got weak-kneed. The age question came up and he said the PC thing of how I didn't look my age but neither did he—he just looks like 30 so it's all relative!

I was not feeling particularly confident or assertive except to to let him know non-verbally that I found him attractive in every way and to see if he'd show any receptivity at least and to enjoy an innocent flirtation and some smart conversation; because I found him funny, intelligent and well put together.

He was gentlemanly, courtly and restrained which I found appealing—no flamboyant narcissism in sight. And he looked so innocent which was as disarming as hell. I began to get preoccupied with thinking of his mouth and how full his lips were—the kind you'd like to nibble on. I stole peeks at him and when he turned around found myself musing on his great glutes. This is not how I look at men—in parts and pieces, but I couldn't take in enough visually—he was "eye candy" and was oblivious to his own charms.

Online he seems to be promoting the idea that I'm going to be the aggressor and dominate the situation. It can be a mixed bag because I am not that way by nature so I have to stretch myself...

And do we think he really wants me to be more dominant here or is it doomed to fail? He seems to be cueing me as to here to pitch it and I'd like to trust his word and rock his world...but I also wonder how long and far I'll be able to be so dominant...And there are times when I'd like to be swept up by someone who's passion has gotten the better of them too...makes me wonder if that will be possible here...

From Sarah
You are sleeping with his experience as well as him. Off the cuff, I wonder if his previous lover might have been a bit skittish. Men, unbridled (at least in my humble experience) generally want to put their best foot forward the first time they sleep with you. You said he was great at foreplay - that's a definite plus in his favor.

So maybe:
a. Vigorousness might have made him blow too fast. (As in maybe it had been a while for him)
b. His previous lover/wife didn't affect aggression very well.
c. He still has a way to go in his sexual journey.
d. If he knows about your vocation, coupled by the fact that you are bit older - he may have been a tad bit intimidated and did what he thought would be your 'idea' of a tender and considerate lover.

The only thing that comes to mind is an intimate conversation of just what it is exactly that you like. If he responds well to sexual communication...then that's half the ballgame.

From Volponia Fox
Do younger men expect older women to take the lead? Depends on the man. My last lover was 14 years my junior, and I'm happy to say I just lay back and enjoyed it more often than not. Another lover, younger but much closer to my age, taught me a thing or three. At age 25, I had a 19-year-old lover who was a virgin when we met. I didn't make him more sophisticated; in a strange way, he made me innocent all over again, by osmosis.

To tell you the truth, I'd rather be the student; I'm sure there are things I've yet to learn. Vol, who wants to be Teacher's Pet

From Cervo
Or perhaps to be petting the teacher?

From James Robert Sands
In my opinion both should be the aggressor, so why am I commenting?

From Lesly
I don't see any harm in taking more charge of things. You might enjoy it. Give it a try, not too strongly at first; you don't want to scare the guy off.

To answer your question, NOTHING is inevitable. Otherwise life would be a bore. Re-growing virginity - that's a new name for not getting laid.

From Kayla Kuffs
As for the younger man question my answer would be no. The youngest man I have ever been with was also the most aggressive (11 years difference), the most passive man I have been with was passive due to his lack of experience and open mindedness when it came to sex (and to think I almost married him - shudder).

I'd say my age span is almost equally split between older and younger men, I rarely have dated men my own age (2 years either way) and all of them except the one I mentioned have been aggressive sexually.

Now I must say that I am not attracted to passive men and it seems the more aggressive they are the better I like them and that likely impacts my own experiences. You two might just need a few practice sessions...

From TreSart
The woman that I am with is about to turn 50. I am 32. I admit that I do like it when she takes charge, but she also likes it when I do. We equal it out. I do think she tends to prefer to be the one in charge. I have no problem with that!

From Pip
Congratulations on stopping the regrowth! hahaha I have never been attracted to younger men - would much prefer them 10 years older. Though I could imagine that a younger man may think you can show him a few tricks, but it surprises me a little if he has been married and it's not like he is 20! But then...

From Christopher
My fascination with the discovery that I am merely one man at the helm of many sharing the desire and fulfillment of the mentioned "Older Woman". Absolute womanhood is bit a mere mention of my delight in acknowledging the (Senior to Myself) genre of females spoke of in this topic. I have faith that I too, will find connection with one "Special Friend" about that age in mention. 

It seems the ages of 50'ish to "no limit" hits the spot without question for myself. Nothing in this world is as admirable as an aged lady, looking fine in fully natural or worked and maintained form. The demeanor, experience, surety, and appreciative nature of a lady in this age group is astounding to say the least. I love to please, and fulfill the needs and happiness in contentment, for these blessings on earth. Any man knows this, if he has allowed his natural beacon to sound by natures calling by these all-real female "fruits of life"! In every way, (none left behind), I naturally find it so humble and content to interact, admire, and fill the wage of a real man for this wonderful creed. 

One question in regard to "approach" and "safety". Granted, I see the seemingly "ideal woman", anytime I'm in public, anywhere really... To locate, recognize, and implement contact with this 50 + group of women.. Well, seems to be one of the most frustrating, mysteries for me, above all other subjects of the nature! I would adore a "friend" initially, and the rest is obvious, should the energy exist. Does anyone have any input? Male or female? Maybe she is here among us now...Are you her? Thank you for your input, as well as your time and point of view. 

[We suggest you try finding your "friend" via Senior FriendFinder, a popular community and personals site for people over 40]

From Dee
I'm in my mid-fifties and in 2005 separated from my husband for about a year, only recently getting back together. In the early part of my separation my friend suggested she take me to a pick up bar telling me that as I had my looks and a figure I'd have some 'fun'. Well, she was right. The bar was mainly full of young males, all predatory, and sex was the result.

I admit I became something of a sex addict, initially going to the bar on a Friday night with my friend, the two of us then going both Friday and Saturday, me sneaking a Monday evening visit in as well. In a three month period I must have sex with about 30 men, all about half my age, all very sexually athletic, the initial few weeks of this hedonism waking me sexually, after a dormant period with my husband, so that I eventually found myself actively looking for sex, dressing like a hooker, trimming pussy hairs to a 'landing strip', tattoo on my butt, behaving like a slut in bed, two men at a time becoming a regular activity.

It came to end very dramatically when I was physically attacked by a man I'd picked up at the bar. It brought me to my senses and I never went there again, instead slipping into a one-on-one relationship with a thirty-something guy which only ended when his bank sent him overseas.

From Ellen
Young men are always very competitive, it's part of their passage through early life and if part of their early life experience is the desire to bed an older woman then I'm not complaining. I'm now 53 and have been working for the same firm since I was 40 and in that time I have bedded a number of young men and found them all very enthusiastic about life and inspirational to talk to and absolutely mind-blowing in bed, some so amazingly well-endowed my eyes watered. 

I'll admit that if I was not slim and vaguely attractive I'd not raise a smile from these young guys so as an older woman I regard myself as being very fortunate I can have a bit of harmless fun with these youngsters, but I will never do anything as foolish as fall in love with any of them, let alone set up home with any of them.

From Alchemist
Several ladies here have asked what can be expected of an older man in this situation. I'm giving you some of my limitations. Also though, I have engaged in a variety of ecstatic, Tantric, Taoist etc sexual practices most of my life, learning and getting better with more experience and practice. So I do things perhaps differently from somebody my age who hasn't engaged in such. In most ways sexual I am at my peak now and still improving.

My girlfriend/alchemical-partner of 11 years standing is 9 years younger than I am. I find that I prefer a somewhat younger woman for several reasons. I find that they haven't gotten "old" in their heads yet. I find that they are more limber, both physically and mentally. This is important. I have my own accumulated wear and tear that limits me physically in some ways. For the same reason, a petite woman is easier on my muscles and can rest her weight on me in various places without it being painful. However these are my limitations due to what happened to this body in this life. Many guys my age don't have as much wear and tear, some have more.

Now to the good parts. I'm not in a hurry. I will gladly spend 4-8 hours doing what some young guy might finish in 4-8 minutes. For reaching ecstasy a good solid arousal foundation is needed; and that takes a while to build. Sacred sex has meditative, ecstatic, mystical and prayerful aspects. It can be a means of enlightenment and transformation. Many of the experiences take place with what starts out as a continuous orgasmic state, on which there are quite a few books and videos these days.

From Anonymous
This is to Breeyana, who feels that wanting to have sex with a person in his or her late teens is tantamount to pedophilia. [see Breeyana's entry below]

Breeyana seems not to realize that pedophilia is sexual attraction to children, and whatever one's personal view of what constitutes a child may be, an eighteen-year-old is physically an adult. At best, a person who is attracted to people of that age may be considered an ephebophile, but that is hardly a crime.

From Breeyana
As a psychologist, I would like to say that Riley is correct for the most part, and most of you have issues. [see Riley's entry below]

Sure it may not be criminally illegal to have sex with 18 year olds, but it's morally criminal to feel connected to teenagers in such ways. What went wrong in your life? What you're referred to as is something we call pedophiles.

It results from many things, and the most common is something we call being sexually stunted or being driven by the feeling of excitement when in power. Everywhere high and low there are 40/50 year old men who are perfectly good looking, and can perform perfectly well in bed. Saying things such as "young men are so virile" or "young men can stay erect" or "young men have so much energy" doesn't justify your sick pleasures. It's advertising fact that you're basically sexually impotent with people your own age.

In the end, it is a compulsion and almost non-existent to ever make such attractions and fantasies go away, but what you should do is take Riley's advice and get help with trying not to act on your misguided attractions.

From Rich 
When I was in my late 30's, I had two older women hit on me. One women was about 60, the other in her late 60's. The younger one was very attractive, played tennis and really took care of herself. The older woman was a house keeper for a wealthy couple and looked quite her age. Both were married - as was I. While flattered, I really wasn't interested in having an affair. The age difference bothered me a bit, but it wasn't the over riding factor for me. My marriage was more important.

When I was in my 20's I found I was VERY attracted to women in their 30's and early 40's. They knew what they wanted, they were established and they took care of themselves very well.

Now I am 49 and I have been having an emotional affair with a woman who is 36. Quite honestly, the age difference really did bother me when we met. I was very aware of it when we talked. I really fell in love with her and her young daughter and when we are together, it is a wonderful feeling. I don't think it ever bothered her; at least she never mentioned it, even when I told her how I felt. Maybe age isn't an issue for her. (Her husband is 7 years older than her.) Having experienced many of the things she is going through, I have been able to share my experiences with her. We enjoy each others company, we enjoy eating chocolate together, and quite honestly, I don't really care that we don't have sex. Now, when I look at her, I see her youth, but I have come to accept the difference in our ages. It's a pleasant place to be.

From Tom
Umm, Jessica, exactly what does your questions have to do with younger/older relationships? Your issues are not age related, they are simply relationship issues and rather common ones at that. [see Jessica's entry below].

So if we look at it age related, it would look like this: divorced 46 year old women with two young kids lusting after sexual exclusivity with a 33 year old man who may think of her as simply a warm willing pussy. Yikes!

If a woman I previous had a sexual relationship with called me up and invited me out to dinner, yes I would certainly think there's a warm pussy for the taking. And probably that's all I'd be thinking, unless I really truly liked her even when we had our clothes on... and liked her kids, and her age didn't matter to me. Then it moves into girlfriend status and exclusivity. But if all I wanted from her was an available warm pussy, to hell with her kids and our age difference, then why bother with exclusivity - unless I didn't have time to look for another warm one.

I think the 13 year difference and the two kids is a major hurdle for a 33 year old. And if he's getting warm pussy with no strings attached, there's no reason for him to even consider the hurdle. 

I think the questions you should be asking is is this enough for you, and if it is, then be upfront  with 33 year old and tell him your concerns about exclusivity for health reasons. If he wants to play the field, he should let you know (and visa versa). It's a matter of smart safe sex. 

From Jessica
Hmm….interesting commentary going on. I have a question for the gentlemen out there reading this.

2 years ago I had a fling with a man 13 years younger than me. I was 45, he was 32. He was my neighbor. We were friends and then one night it went all the way. There was a spark but he seemed to need to kill it. It lasted 6 months. Being neighbors was too close….weird for him and me. Like living together almost. We are on somewhat different pages. Me - divorced, 2 kids under 10, business owner, busy, successful. Him - never married, busy, successful and working like a fiend. We do have our busy lives in common and are both high performance type A personalities. We are both attractive people and have no problem getting attention.

I have moved and am no longer his neighbor for over a year now. I always liked him as a friend and called him recently to catch up and (admittedly) to hear what was up with him ­ still crazy busy? Any attachments? None he said, other than his work. I said call me if you want to grab some dinner or go to a movie sometime. And so he called and he just picked up where we left off. The sex is wonderful, and I know he likes it with me too.

We’ve had one encounter so far and I am wondering why do men come back? Just for "free sex" (I am okay with that, with some limits)? Or is it more? Guys, is it ever "just sex" or is the really good sex about more than just sex?

Okay, what I am trying to say is, is it me that he wants ­ the whole package - or am I just a warm inviting pussy to add to the field that he’s playing. Should I care? Just enjoy him as he’s enjoying me for as long as it lasts? My limits are exclusivity this time. I don’t like to share, and health reasons. Does having sex exclusively with one woman automatically mean that you call her your girlfriend? Can you have something between a booty call and a girlfriend or is that splitting hairs? A mistress maybe.

I really like this guy. He’s a complicated man and has a lot going on and this is a big turn on for me. I like my time with him, even though I think a long term future is unlikely. Better to have loved and lost than not to have loved at all.

From Wanda
This is for Riley, who thinks its weird for one who is older to date younger people. [see Riley's entry below]  Much older men can date girls who are very much younger (sometimes even 30 years younger) and no one thinks much of it, but just let a woman date a much younger man and some people think its horrible. 

Well, the way I see it Riley, if its good enough for the guys its good enough for us ladies. I don't think age matters one bit. I don't care how much age difference there is, if both partners want to be together then what's the big deal? If the man or woman is at least 18 years old then they should be able to do anything they want without anyone judging them. I am in my mid fifties and I would and have dated guys as young as 19 years old.

From Riley
I understand if you happen to like younger men, but there comes a point when it isn't just an attraction, rather a psychological problem.. If you're a fully developed adult, there is no way you should be getting together with teenagers. It's immoral.

I'm 18, and though I may be turned on by the thought of having sex with older people, I'm very weirded out and turned off when an older woman actually approaches me about it (I would seriously rather fantasize). Not because I don't find the idea hot, but because it makes me question her as a person. What went so wrong in her life that makes her want to have sex with somebody who resembles her youthful, boyish, teenage son?

I can guarantee you that most guys will do anything for sex, especially young guys, so if you happen to have sex with one it's probably an act out of desperation on his part (and yours), and I promise you that just because he went to bed with you, he'd much rather wake up to a girl his own age.. And then the joke is on you when immaturity shines through and he starts telling his friends how saggy your skin was and how torn up your vagina looked. I'm speaking on behalf of most guys (I am one after all), but not all guys.

Trust me, I have friends 19-30 who are with older women all the time. The older women get used for sex, then they get clingy and then they get dissed and dismissed like they never existed in the first place.

Anyways, remember: if you're a full grown adult having desires for teenagers, it isn't normal—get help.

From Dawn
I came upon this site more or less by chance, and as someone who is in a successful an older woman younger man marriage (as it is now)I would like if I may to add my own story/comments to it.

I am 57 years old (and English incidently) with two grown up children plus one small grandson to date, and I have recently celebrated my second wedding anniversary with my new husband who is two months short of being 31 years my junior.

We first met just over five years ago when aged 52 and 21 respectively, when I was still married to my first husband. It was him who made the initial approach, telling me how he had always been attracted to much older women although also explaining at some length that it was me personally and not just 'any' older woman that he wanted to get to know. I was to say the very least wary to begin with! I would describe myself as fairly attractive for my age (quite slim, nice legs) but certainly not outstandingly so, I was in any case married, and my initial thoughts were that he was just after one thing.

However he persisted, and four months after meeting we began an affair. We enjoyed one another's company immensely, had heaps of sex. It was clear from the outset things were going to be good there; Long, hot shags in an old single divan bed in his tiny flat as we got better acquainted so to speak! Lovely intense orgasms for both of us. And the knowlege that I was cheating on my then husband with a so much younger and in every way far superior lover made it all feel more exciting still! But even so I didn't think at that stage I wanted to leave my husband, home and everything else for him. I was also concerned about my husband and children finding out, so after a wonderful seven months I regretfully brought the affair to an end.

But then realization hit me. Sure I missed the excitement, sure I missed the sex, but most of all I missed him. I missed his presence, his voice, his kisses, his tenderness, his lovely sweetness towards me. Then finally it came me. I just so missed his love. So I wrote him a letter explaining. There followed divorce, family traumas - his parents still refuse to speak to me - but we both 'stayed with it' so to speak, and are now a happily married couple for whom age difference is not a problem. Of course, I acknowlege that it could yet become so. When he reaches 40 I wiil be almost 71 for heaven's sake! But he assures me that the love which has brought us this far will still be there and I am not going to argue with that!

And do we after five years - two of them as man and wife - still have a love life? You bet we do! My sister and I jointly own a holiday flat in The New Forest, our little love nest as hubby and I have come to call it since it reminds us in certain ways of his old flat where we started out, and we go there frequently (indeed we are quite well known in the village now). The long, hot marital shags we enjoy in our big, comfortable double bed there are every bit as thrilling as the similar illicit ones we used to have in that narrow divan in his former bedsit, but now there is the added ingredient of True Love. What more can I say other than 'Lovely'! Whatever the future might yet hold, right now life could hardly get any better.

Ours is of course just one age gap romance which has worked for the two people in it, if not entirely for all of their respective families. I hope it may prove of interest and maybe inspiration to those who now read this post.

From Rea
I love this forum. I am 30 years old and still live at home with my parents. I have over the past 10 or so years been working for my neighbors doing various chores, and doing extra services as well. My earliest memory of these extra services are changing a light bulb and having Mr O'Reilly holding the stool. I had a short skirt on and a loose T shirt, his eyes were everywhere and I, loving the attention, played up to him, asking him to steady my legs. His hands were soon on my legs, above my knees. As I stepped off the ladder he held my waist, his fingers slipping up inside my top. Soon he was brushing behind me in the kitchen and at every opportunity felt me when he could. Soon my folks were away and he came to help me with a drip in my bathroom. Knowing he was coming over I took a late shower and he found me in my towel, short one of course. I could almost see his erection growing, he at 65 and me at 22.

I was curious to see if he could still get it up so to speak. We went up to the bathroom and whilst discussing it he could not take his eyes of my legs, whilst talking I told him I was going to get dressed and he continued the conversation, I sat at my dresser and dried my hair, he came into the room and sat down on the bed, at this point we had passed the point of no return, I stood up and faced him in all my glory, he told me how lovely I was, I went over to him and he touched me, it was electric, he undressed and his erection was enormous, the largest cock I had ever seen, and at 65 the oldest. 

The next hour or so was fantastic, we made love and it was long and sensual, he took more time and care than any of the younger men I had been with, he spent an eternity licking and sucking my clit until I came, no one had ever done this before, he came all over my tits because he did not want to come inside me, what a gentleman.

 Since this sex is on my list of jobs - probably 4 or 5 times a week, not just for him, but for a couple of other older gents around the area - word quietly gets around very discreetly that I can help them and off I go. I love the older man touch, it's fantastic. I know I am probably a bit of a whore, I mean who else would perform simple tasks naked but what the hell, it's the best sex I have had in my life.

From Anonymous
I once dated a younger guy after my divorce and don't regret it at all. He was so full of life and made me feel hot all the time. We went out for 3 years and he joined the military. It's weird because I still have this special note he was going to send to Dear Abbey but tore up and my friend found it and gave it to me. It was the most romantic thing any man has ever done for me. He was 19 and I was 27.

Now I'm 43 and find myself in the same situation but with a 20 year old. What do I do? Yeah, I'm married.

From Ian
I'm 20 and I have a huge, lust-filled crush on a professor who I've just found out is 52. She's beautiful, nice ass, lovely breasts, and the sexiest legs I've ever seen, and damned if I wouldn't want to spend some quality time in bed with her! I've chatted with her a few times and she's been very nice, intriguing to talk to, and knowledgeable about all kinds of subjects. She's also the woman I fantasize the most about sexually....those college girls have nothing on the way this woman carries herself and that body she has.

I've felt like I wouldn't have a chance in hell, but after reading all these responses from older women who've had it great with another man, I'm encouraged to go for it....older women, wow!

From Kevin
For me, I find older women to be fascinating. I'm a 21 yr. old man and women I'm with now is 31. We meet in a chatroom online. You can find some of the most amazing things online, but in this case I found one of the most amazing people. We have known each other for a year now. There is a connection between us like no other and the sex is great. There are days we have sex 2, 3 maybe 4 times a day. 

We both are very open minded and we are always trying to find new things and ways to do them. And she loves to take charge so I just be cool and let her do her thing, I'm the one that stays on my back. 

Just like they say "Once you go black you never go back," well once you go old you have all the gold. But between you (the readers) and me, I think im falling in love.

From Alan
I'm in my mid-thirties and seem to click with older women better than those my own age. I find most mature ladies very attractive in terms of personality, and physically, and am always very impressed with their experiences of life, careers and men. 

Sadly I have yet to create a long- term loving relationship with any of the ladies I've met. While each has enjoyed me as a person and we have enjoyed some very satisfying sex, none has been willing to even consider leaving their husbands of thirty years or more, leaving me feeling more like a predatory male than one seeking a loving relationship with an older woman.

From Diana
One of the more interesting aspects of the young man/older woman scenario is not just the virility or staying power of the younger man but the amount of sperm or cum they release on orgasm. As an older woman (57) it takes me immediately back to the days when I was younger and my dates the same age, reminiscent of my husband's once very effusive ejaculations. 

When the climax to making love to a younger man is this massive eruption of cum it is absolutely stunning, literally breathtaking when in the mouth, and a wonderful bonus on top of my own multiple orgasms as the young man's staying power can take us both through the better part of an hour of very enjoyable, satisfying sex.

From Anonymous
I'm 26 years old, and the woman I have been seeing is 47 years old. I have to admit she doesn't look 47 at all she looks ten years younger, with a beautiful face and an extremely tight body. When we first met she told me she was 36 and the sex was fantastic. Only recently she told me her real age and this has somewhat bothered me. As she is only 2 years younger than my Mother, and it has become difficult not to think about it. 

Emotionally we really click and I know we are physically attracted to each other, but for some reason I can't seem to get the age difference out of my mind. But after reading this forum it has made me feel more comfortable about my situation. I never realised that there were so many people in a similar situation, without the hang ups of age. 

I think the basic ideas that I have taken from this forum is that we should ultimately enjoy our moments with our partners' and as long as we enjoy ourselves there shouldn't be any hang ups. Even though I have had this hang up of our age differences, there isn't a moment that I don't think about her.

From Nikitha
At age 39, I have to say I have little if anything in common with men my own age. Just as little satisfaction most men gave me I came to realize when I met my current boyfriend who is 13 years younger then me and much more mature then most men my age. Sex is great, conversation never runs out and there is a hunger and drive about a younger guy that most people approaching 40 have lost on the way somehow.

I look ten years younger then I am but even so the age difference hasn't been an issue with either my friends or his if you choose not to make it one but rather just enjoy moments of passion, good times and life. 

From One Happy Guy!
Interesting site, and interesting topic! I'm a 54 year old male very recently (April 2007) remarried to a decidedly good looking, not to say also lively, vivacious, and very sexy young lady of just 29! And am I One Happy Guy? YES! I knew Elizabeth purely as a friend of a friend-in-passing some eight years ago, but following my divorce in 2006 a mutual acquaintance met us up again, and the rest as they say is history!

Issues in an older / younger relationship? Well, I'm financially very secure which Elizabeth isn't (wasn't!) and so I suppose that had to be a factor in making me attractive to her ­ although I consider myself to be a quite interesting guy and am physically in good shape for my age anyway. We get on really well, I have become the envy of all who know me (I say that with tongue just ever so slightly in cheek by the way!) and we've certainly become true best friends and I truly hope and believe long term life partners.

But you want to know about the sex I guess? Well, I'll suffice to say that we've just returned from a fantastic four week's honeymoon spent in Egypt including a thirteen day cruise on the Nile, and my 'little soldier' as Elizabeth fondly christened him on our wedding night has never before in his life seen so much sustained action! Making love an average of four times a day every day with a cheerful, enthusiastic, and very sexually attractive new wife of just 29 years years of age equals any fifty-something guy's wildest dream, and truly makes for One Happy Guy!

What more can I say other than if you're considering a relationship with a much younger lady then go for it! Brilliant, lovely, exhausting (lying sexually spent in the arms of such a wife as Elizabeth in a hot and disheveled bed is a version of heaven in itself, believe me!) and my god but am I alive every for every single waking minute now! Unreservedly recommended!

From June
Candy, the answer is simple - younger men fear rejection by females their own age. They reckon an older woman will not be so quick to rush to judgement or rejection. So, the more relevant question is - 'are older women easy?' I will own up, I probably am. I'm 52 this year and while I have my looks and figure (and sex drive) if the guy is good looking, great company and non-threatening, I will probably go to bed with him on a first date. 

I work in the ad industry and young people make it happen and I get excited by young focused guys. My weakness I guess and I have no problems about guys I've never met phoning me up to suggest meeting for a drink. A five minute phone conversation is enough for me to make a judgement whether to meet him or not, and two hours with the guy over dinner will tell me if I'd enjoy sex with him. 

For me it's all about getting over my divorce, enjoying my single status, enjoying my money, and not wanting to get involved in an exclusive relationship but saying to myself 'hey, I like sex, so go for it!' Oh yes, quite a few of the guys are my friends, not close of course, but do genuinely like me and my company, not just my body.

From Candy
I am a 41 year old single mom just a few years away from not having the day to day responsibilities of raising children. At this stage in my life, I have focused my energies on being open to a relationship and although I would prefer being involved with a man my age or older it seems that I am only attracting younger men. 

I am baffled by the fact that I find it's the younger men who have the courage to approach me, the younger men who actually call me when I give my phone number and I have to wonder "why"? What is it that "turns" the men my age off or discourages them from approaching me? And what is it about the younger generation of men these days that empowers them in such a way that they have no fear in approaching an older woman? Any thoughts?

From Gill
Jo-Anne's message about her son's friends lusting after her rang a big bell. I felt very special, my flagging ego much boosted but afterwards - the guilt. He was virile, he was big, he went on for ages and when he orgasmed I hadn't seen that much semen inside me for literally decades! It was breathtaking, amazing experience but it was gratuitous and as a married lady I should have known and behaved better.

From Anonymous
When I was 19 years old, I came home for my first summer after going away to college, and I met a beautiful 31 year old woman. She was thin and athletic with long blonde hair and tanned skin. I did not think that she would even acknowledge me, but we ended up talking all night by a lake during a party at her house.

She was separated at the time, and once I realized that she was interested in me, I kissed her. We had a 2 year relationship. I think that it was good for both of us. She taught me many, many sexual lessons. She was daring, experimental and intent on living out some fantasies that she had previously kept private. I was a very willing student.

I am now married and I have kids who are in college. I love my wife dearly. But some nights, especially in the summer, and especially when I am on a lake, I think of that two year relationship with my older woman, and I am thankful that I met her. My life - sexually and emotionally - has clearly been better for having known her.

From Carla
Just thought I would comment on older women and younger men. While in my mid fifties I became involved with a friend of my son. He was only 20 but very mature for his age and a very handsome guy. Also, I have always tried to keep myself in the best shape. Our affair lasted for 6 months and it totally changed me. It was the most amazing sex ever. I still talk to my friend frequently and have told him more than once, if his girlfriend doesn't take care of him like she should, I would be honored to. 

In closing, I would like to tell any woman reading this, if he is of legal age, and you are doubting yourself as a woman, these younger men can totally make you feel like a woman again. I didn't know what sex was until I met my special friend. I love this young man and I am his if he ever wants me again.

From Anonymous
I am 19 and every sexual thought I have revolves around a 55 year old man that I know. He doesn't live in the same city, but he comes to an annual party that my family has. He has never been married and no kids. He has a reputation for liking younger women, apparently not quite as young as me though...

The first time I met him I was 17, and it was lust at first sight. When I was 18, I made a pass at him at this party, and he (assuming I was a virgin) sweetly said I should wait for someone else. I think I scared him away because he didn't come to the party this year.

I am very mature for my age, most of my friends are much older than me. I really want to be with him and let him know what I'm feeling, but I'm afraid I blew my chance by striking too soon. by the way, he's mom's best friend's brother... soooo...yea.

From Canthelpit
Younger men are just plain sexy, especially when they are turned on my who I am. I am not seeking a relationship, it's too complicated and intense, so I have the freedom to have experiences, and I have. My latest lover was nearly 28 years younger than me. He didn't realize it as I don't look my age, and he didn't look as young as he was. But he was beautiful, and we shared something special I would call from the soul level. He was quite a sweet lover, had the softest skin, smooth, perfectly hard big dick, loved to lick pussy, and fucked hard and fast for the longest time. 

We had a great time in bed and it was hard to just sit next to him without getting that heat down in my pussy. He felt it too, and enjoyed my horniness and openness in talking during sex (you are such a fucking awesome lover!) and he surprised me with his prowess and ability, but I should have known with his talent with music and art that it would be that way. I think learning to experience that, knowing we both got much pleasure and learning from each other, without getting attached, isn't always easy but it's a rich thing to do.

From Stan
I think all this younger/older stuff is nothing more then simply finding the right person, regardless of age, race, gender, whatever. The point is, if two people click in all the areas that are important to the relationship, then it doesn't matter what the difference in age is.

Miltone's entry is interesting, [see Miltone's entry below] but it's simply his personal justification for dating younger women. Lots of women say similar things about their husbands; they become set in their ways, let their sexy bodies go to flab, sit around in unattractive boxers and t-shirts - whereas younger men are handsome and full of spirit and life. 

Miltone is, I think, spot-on when he asks: So what are you in for? And that is the important thing, not age. I've dated younger and older women, and both worked just fine when we clicked. Otherwise it was simply a failed relationship, not because of age but because of different interests, needs, etc. 

Bottom line is why worry about age? Decide on what you are in for, and find someone compatible it. 

From Shelly
I met my husband when he was 18 and I was 34, it was hard in the beginning but we got through it  I'm now 41 and he's 25. We've been married now for 3 years and have a 3 year old daughter.

He's sexy and full of energy, and he keeps me feeling young. We have sex every day and that's not bad considering most people my age lucky if they get it once a week. So just proves it can work, and I've never been happier. So this is for all the people who have lots to say about it but really they know nothing.

From Daphne
The big issue for the older woman in a marriage who becomes emotionally involved with a younger man is - don't destroy your marriage! We've been married 34 years and our sex was intermitent and not very satisfying. As a result, I became involved with a work colleague half my age (I'm 63) and the sex was absolutely mind-blowing. But when my husband found out I had a very frightening period when I thought my marriage was over. 

Short-term sexual gratification with a younger man was no substitute for my love for my husband and the benefits of 30 plus years of marriage. I rescued the marriage by becoming a slut in bed, much to my hubby's enjoyment, and we now have sex two or three times a week, not once a month!

From Anonymous
I find myself falling for this younger man (he's 24, I'm 42) at my office. We've been working closely together for almost two years during which we shared what I considered to be a purely "mental" connection. That connection became physical after a recent party that we attended. We were so connected and the alcohol definitely helped to rid our inhibitions. We found ourselves in a passionate embrace as we exited the party and ended up having what I consider the best sex since I've been married (12 years). 

We had to come to work the next day and it's been strange for me ever since. It's almost as if we're both trying to forget the attraction (previously mental, now both) that we have for each other. Every time we're in the same meeting or hallway, there's an underlying tension there that is so obvious to me. Perhaps he's OK with it. I don't know. Has this ever happened to anyone?

From Nick
My personal preference has changed as I have aged. When in my teens and early 20's I preferred to go with women with more experience than myself by on average say 5 yrs. I am now 29yrs old and my preference has shifted to girls between 18-23 yrs of age. I think this has more to do with changes in my sub/dom levels than anything else. I have gone from being quite sub to being a more regular dom partner.

From Young Pleasure
I'm a 47 year old single woman having a great time with younger lovers over the past several years. One wins the blue ribbon for licking, one had the most beautiful body I've ever seen, one is one of my best friends, simply beautiful looking and sex is included! The one time I met a same age man who I took as a lover was eye opening—he was more immature than my 25 year old sweetie. 

He did however drive me nuts with multiple orgasms, but out of bed he just didn't cut it. At first I had insecure feelings that the young man would be embarrassed of me, one was, but lately I have found my young lover is proud of me and treats me as an equal.

I have a fearless awareness of my sexuality as never before, and I am no longer shy in bed, although I don't want to make demands, I do feel it's great to tell him what you want and to feel free to explore fantasies, masturbation, etc. I also don't care to have a committed relationship, so I have released all the chasing, jealousy, demands etc. that younger women (or insecure women) put on guys.

I've been having more fun and more pleasure than ever, I feel like a goddess blessed by these man gods!

From Miltone
So Karen, you wish to know what you're in for with an older man? [see Karen's entry below] Maybe the best relationship you will ever have! Bear in mind that it is all relative and depends on the maturity and personalities of the participants, but I have experienced both ends of the spectrum. Allow me to explain:

Like one of the other commentators, when I was young (teens and 20s) I usually dated older girls. One of the most memorable from those years was when I was 25 and had an affair with a woman in her mid-40s. I learned so much from the experience about how to treat a woman in and out of the bedroom, and it helped me immeasurably to grow into the gentleman that I have become.

Once I hit my 30s though, I found myself dating younger and younger women, not that I was looking for them particularly, it just seemed that they were the ones most available and interested in the same things that I was. I married a woman several years younger than I and for many years the relationship worked. But as she grew older, she became more set in her ways. The sexy silken lingerie was replaced by mundane cotton Grannie pants and bras and our relationship went downhill from there.

Once I was back on the market, I dated a few women near my age 45-50 but never really struck sparks. They seemed like my ex to be more interested in cultivating grandchildren than addressing my needs for romance and intimacy. As a result I found myself gravitating back toward younger women, 25-40, and have found great happiness.

The last young woman I had an affair with was less than half my age when I first met her. She was young and beautiful and full of spirit and life. Of course she had an acknowledged "thing" for older men and I was more than willing to let her take advantage. Because of my professional standing we were able to travel and enjoy what life brought to us. She helped me remain young-at-heart and I helped teach her much about life and herself.

I was never with her (or any of my younger girlfriends for that matter) just to be with a hot young chick. I'm sure that there are many older men who do. My interest is always in the person and what she can bring to the relationship. I will admit that young women these days are much more open and accepting of their sexuality and are much more practiced at pleasing and being pleased.

With the right young woman there is very little I would not try (although I have pretty much tried everything at least once) and her youth and enthusiasm helps make those explorations delightful.

So what are you in for? There is something special about what an older man can bring to a relationship with a younger woman. If I were the lucky man, you would travel and grow sexually and personally. You would learn how to cuddle and converse and relate intimately. You would learn the sensual pleasures of hot sex on the beach. You might gain an appreciation of the arts and architecture and literature. You might learn how to cultivate roses or the intricacies of Northern Italian cooking. You might experience the intense pleasure of role-playing and the sublime satisfaction that sweeps over you when lying wet and naked together after an evening of lovemaking. There are so many things, dear girl, and I hope that you experience them with an appreciative man!

From Karen
Am wondering what older men expect/want from younger women in bed/a relationship. Do you want us just to see what it's like with us or do the majority of you strive for an honest relationship with the possibility of a long term commitment? Have your needs/wants changed as you became older or more experienced? Since I believe most of you have dabbled a little in porn or at the very least you've had/overheard the locker room chat on what's in where sex is concerned—do you like what you hear and is it something you'd sincerely like to try?

I believe that most older men have grown up in an era when intercourse is done in the missionary position; that oral sex is mostly taboo and the act in and of itself is over with quickly.

So, am I wrong? Are you more into cuddling as you age yet thirst for that hot romp in the hay? What things would you like to try with a younger woman or what would you like her to do to you?

Please guys—let us younger women who crave you oh-so-sexy older gents know what we're in for.

From Aanoyn
I recently initiated a fling with a man 20 years my senior. I am in college and he is already deep into his career. He has never been married and has no children and I find myself very strongly attracted to him. At first I thought it would just be a one time one night stand, then word got around that he wanted me to see him again and I did we had great sex and I still felt the connection with him but even stronger because it was fueled by his questions about me and my future plans and his sincere comments. 

I guess my question is could a guy that is forty ever really fall for a girl in her 20s or should I just focus my attention on having a good time. My head tells me never, but I secretly hope it could happen. Please help!

7/10/07

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