Younger / Older Relationships

What are the Expectations?

Younger / Older Relationships can be hot...

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From Anonymous
Older women, so divine in the way they are so mature, so sexy, soft yet firm. Sex, unbelievable with them. I have had sexual relations with 2 women now over the age of 35, and it has been the best sex I have ever had in my life .I find myself able to connect with them on every level also. Older women are better for younger men if you know what's good for you!

From Doug
I find myself, at 57, at the beginning of a relationship with a 44 year old women. This is rather a larger gap than I had really expected. I like ladies in their 50s just fine as long as their thinking is not getting "old", and 40s too. I'm finding more and more ladies my age to be too stodgy. Maybe it's the culture around here (Utah). The funny thing is she already has several grandchildren and I don't have any yet and our grown children are of overlapping ages. 

We are very compatible on our sexual ideas and attitudes but haven't been sexually active yet. From the "connection" we already have I would expect the sexual aspects of our relationship will be truly extraordinary. This "connection" is so very important in my opinion, much more important than relative ages. I was married for decades without much "connection". And I have had an excellent relationship with the "connection" and knowing the difference now, the connection has to be there. With that, the age difference is relatively inconsequential.

From Ella
Age difference has haunted me since my first boyfriend- I was 15, he was 21. not so bad, by today's standards. I've dated men two and three times my age, but even for a "dad sucker" like me, there is such thing as too old. I have never, ever dated younger, of course I'm still in my twenties, so never say never, but I'm opposed to it, personally. I can see how it would be a good move sexually, as women can keep going long after men throw in the towel, but adjustments can be made for a younger girl and an older guy.

 I am now about to marry a man a mere 15 years my senior, and we could not be more perfectly matched. Even if he's too exhausted for sex, he'll stay up and help me masturbate until I'm good and tired.

One problem I've run into as a lover of older men is the jealousy of thinking how much more experienced your partner is; how much more sex he must have had. It wasn't until my current relationship that I realized I had somehow become a sexual connoisseur, with the expertise to bring even a veteran to his knees. And many of these things I never could have learned with younger men, so I am grateful for these experiences, and only laugh at all the girls who think they have it so good with their bony, hairless little boys. Give me real meat!

From Imagining
Mary [read Mary's entry below] - you are so right. It makes one wince a bit to think about it - she's 63, he's 50.... I know I did. How could this possibly ever work long term?

But this would be through the lens of our current cultural "norms," such as they are, where the older woman younger man couple is sometimes seen as somewhat unseemly. Older man/younger woman - not a problem.

It is said that true beauty comes from the glow from within, your poise, the confidence you exude by being a centered human being and knowing who you are and what you are about. I can picture a woman like that, with an equally poised, confident centered man. And they have a bond that goes beyond what other people think. And they are okay with it and confident with themselves. Once we start seeing couples like that more often it's possible that a sea change could be coming. And why not. Women have in certain respects been held to devastatingly high standards, and double standards too. 

Ladies, most of us would not argue the point that Sean Connery after 60 became, if possible, only more handsome. I hope the day will come when women can gain some of that type of appreciation. It's happening already. Right now there still is an element of the exotic with the older woman/younger man pairing. But I think it will become more mainstream. 5 years difference is nothing and quite common. Soon, a 10-ish years age difference will become more commonplace. 

15 years or so might be about the outer limits of this because there are obvious biological grounds for the older woman/younger man pairing not to flourish beyond that. A still larger age difference would be more purely exotic and unusual. The couple do have to be in the same generation though so that the zeitgeist of the times resonates the same in both of them. I think this is important for a long term relationship because it has to do with compatibility and we all know that's important for long term.

My mother was born in 1919. My Dad in 1926. They have been married for 50 years and are in Genoa right now celebrating their 50th where they originally went on their honeymoon.. My husband was 5 years younger than me (our age difference had nothing to do with our divorce). 

Look how great women in their 40's 50's 60's are looking these days. I am not taking about the excessive plastic surgery crowd. Good health, diet, exercise, judicious use of makeup and a sense of personal style. Mix that with good bones perhaps, or an attractive face, or a young body and confidence (which grows with age!) and you're a hot lady! Think Susan Sarandan, Goldie Hawn, Jessica Lang, Diane Keaton. Think outside the box....

From Mary
Amazing that no one has mentioned the issue that is surely foremost in younger/older long term commitments. So your guy is 15 or so years younger, that means when you're 65 and those wrinkles and aging issues start creeping up, your guy is 50 and in his prime. Uh oh, it's hard enough growing older, but standing next to a younger man looking oh so fabulous, it does make it difficult to feel self-confident and attractive when you're looking like his mother rather then his lover or wife.

A fling with a younger guy - sure, why not. But a long term commitment, better think long and hard about that. 

From John
My ex wife was 10 years younger and the marriage lasted 7 years. I have had many sexual relationships all of which I thought were brilliant until I met my present girlfriend. We met when I was 36 and she 48. We have been together 6 years now.

I never thought a woman could get so moist during intercourse, it feels like a whole tube of KY being used. The sensation from this lady beats anybody half her age. I can have oral sex with her at any time of the day and she smells and tastes just as fresh as though she's had a bath.

I do not think anybody could replace her, and my mind is made up - out with the young - in with the old.

From Fredericks
It is plain and simple. This is a most erotic subject for this man. The warmth and feel of a milking breast, the sweet taste of her milk and closeness/tenderness is almost overwhelming. You don't have die to be in heaven, a lactating breast is as close to heaven as it gets.

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