What Attracts Women Sexually?
Hint, it's not length...

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From Jane Lane
I personally go for a guy who can have a great conversation with me, but also someone who's not afraid to talk about past sexual experiences and things they've done, things they like. as a very open person I like to talk about such things with people - as long as I know them rather well. A good sense of humour, someone who jokes, is sweet and is good looking always does me fine! But most of all, they have to accept me for who I am, and not try to change that.

From Kalliannassa
Ok, define willing. I have two types, the oh my god fuck me now willing, and the I could have sex with that person if they wanted me willing.

Characteristics common to both. Cleanliness, while I have been accused of liking my men too clean cut to have any real fun, one has to be clean. Long hair is only sexy when it is taken care of, guys and girls alike. Same goes for facial hair.

Humor, life, and especially dalliances should be fun, if you can't enjoy the simple things why bother the large ones?

Definitely with the women who said smart. Please note, I have not asked for a philosopher, just someone who can follow a conversation, if you don't know anything you should still be able to ask intelligent questions. Granted there are several kinds of smart, I only ask for one, and I am not that picky. (recently developed a thing for chess players but i digress)

Responsible. Childishness is not to be tolerated.

Things that distinguish between the kinds of willingness.

Physical fitness. I like fit men, and fit women for that matter. Not Arnold sculpted types, but definitely keeping extra baggage to a minimum. Women are supposed to have curves, men are not. That applies to the fuck me here and now willing. I tend to prefer thinner lankier types, like runners and soccer players.

on the other side, if you are just a good person and a friend of mine, and were in need of relief, I would oblige, because you are my friend and you asked. Several people currently in that category. Would it occur to me to fuck them, no, but why not if they want? I love having orgasms, so I don't mind sharing the wealth.

From Inchanting
He must be tall. Preferably 6'2". He must be bold and masculine, but not macho-aggressive or a braggart. His shoulders must be wide. He must be educated. He must be keenly intelligent, such that I will know/feel his intelligence by locking eyes with him. He must have the bearing of both a warrior and a prince. He must have magnetism. He must have enjoyed some sort of success in his life--I don't like lovable losers. He must be very gentlemanly and kind. He must be well-kept, though not overly concerned with his appearance--IOW not a narcissistic pretty boy. He must consider my opinions/suggestions, but not be a pushover. He must be able to look at me and make me want him...and communicate to me that he wants me.

This is a very brief but comprehensive list on the things about the man that makes me willing...Notice, gentlemen, that this is all BEFORE my mouth meets his and BEFORE the clothing comes off...

From Moonshadow
He was a little on the short side with a little extra padding. Yet there was something about him. Something that really made me turn my head and go weak  I was working as an office temp at a dreary laboratory office. I first saw him outside by the lunch wagon that came by every day at 10:45 sharp. He wasn't part of the office hierarchy and unlike them he actually seem like he enjoyed his life.

He walked with enthusiastic strides. Yet he wasn't cocky. He had big warm sensitive eyes lightly tanned skin and blonde longish bushy California hair. He seemed primal connected to the elements. He probably surfed, enjoyed the wind in his hair and being in the water, sand, eating food and relished in making love. Yet he didn't advertise himself.

What arrested me again and again as I saw him was the sensual way he moved, and touched things- careful and unhurried almost lovingly. I unsuspectingly watched him work while eating my tuna sandwich. He was conscientiousness and polite with his coworkers and with care handled the objects, which he worked with. He looked up and smiled and I could feel myself yearning.

My imagination fast-forwarded to: How wonderful it would be to have him around the house fixing and making things work again. How nice it would be to snuggle under the sheets and have him explore my body. How nice it would be to make dinner with him. I yearned for his love of life body and spirit to penetrate me. He seemed strong, capable yet not dominating and gentle enough to hold a child. I saw the ring on his hand and me and my ethics let him go. And after years from time to time his memory still comes back to mind.

From Ischade
I'm a sucker for black curly hair...and a guy that has presence, like Tony Soprano, only not the psycho killer part. You know, guys who will come out in the snow and change your tire. I see them and go weak in the knees. Pretty has nothing to do with it.

From Raven
For me, in just a general physical sense, I've always like the tall, thin types with long hair. Lovely eyes are an instant turn-on, even if the rest of the 'package' isn't up to my normal tastes. That hasn't always been the description of my past lovers, but a definite turn-on none the less. I like a good kisser - very important - I do not want to feel like I'm making out with a Labrador Retriever.

As for the person, someone who is intelligent or at least can carry a good conversation, is interesting to talk to, has a sense of humor, and generally kind natured. Preferably he wouldn't be full of himself but self confident is good. These are the basic things that I went for when I was looking for a lover (before I met my wonderful other half).

All of that said, I have also been known to find someone with just the right 'look' and take him home for the night. No thought for his personality or potential charms or lack of, just raw desire at its best with no strings attached.

From TMS
A guy who can communicate desire without groping. His level of eye contact is very important! Being willing to take it moment by moment....holding hands, kissing the back of my hand, a smile, a wink, a hug. Each done w/o excessive pressure to "mount" is one step closer to actually being there!

From: Quiverdance
They gotta have a sense of humour, be literate and at least give the impression that they really enjoy giving as well as getting. Being 30 lbs heavier myself than I was in my teens, I'm not looking for abs or pecs (or the self-absorption required to develop them)

And most importantly, I have to feel free enough that night to just do it...which would have nothing at all to do with him. I've met plenty of wonderful guys, but was feeling insecure, unhappy (a devastating marriage does that)and unable to feel secure enough to take a chance.

So timing and humour get my vote.

From Helena
Ok... you realize I have to do a great deal of reminiscing now as you're asking for some ancient history, since I went from jamtart to old married broad in nanoseconds. I confess I used to prowl as "bad" as a guy...I gave up my wanton ways in the mid-eighties, and married a really wonderful fellow who is still my partner, but what *used* to float my boat was the following:

Looks - definitely was an "appearance -ist" as one friend rightly accused. Why would I wanna screw someone whose looks made me gag? There was a certain look that I definitely went for and it was a total package sort of thing. Having "exotic" looks was a plus. Having scars especially ciccitrations was fascinating. I'd look first at face, hands, ass, in that order.

Type - I had two "fetishes" - men of color and fair-eyed Jewish guys of a certain physical/facial type, like, um, Jakob Dylan. Somebody stop me! Physical type wasn't so important, (although fitness was) - tall was my preference but short, slim, stocky - there were other more important considerations, like:

Wit - having a brain, or at least a good sense of humor helped. Both my husband and the primary relationship I had before him were fun guys. I wanted to be around them because they made me laugh.

Connection - the way a man would look at me - eyes and body language.

Confidence - or the appearance of confidence. Sometimes a sort of arrogance, a supreme confidence was attractive. I really didn't do nebbish...

A real interest in me and a willingness to hear me.

Scent - the indefinable which could make me re-draw my standards (such as they were). This one was a biggie.

On the other hand I would walk away from whiners and whingers, Nazis and mean attitudes, and absolute idiots (although one I fell for and had the best one nighter of my life), neurotics, the unemployed, nervous asthmatics, angry men and the self-absorbed. Anyone missing teeth was not of any interest to me, which meant I didn't get laid much when I lived in England *G*.

When I got around to looking for a life partner, a lot of my criteria changed, because I was actively looking for a relationship rather than just a wild night - I wanted reliability, and responsibility along with the attraction and I found one guy who satisfied a lot of my wants and needs - but boy was it fun getting there.

From Wimzcicle
Well in the old days, used to be about 6 beers or a bottle of wine or maybe a few shooters. No, seriously, a good sense of humour and a decent IQ worked for me. Still does!

From: Annie Dykstra:
Top Ten Reasons not To Bed A Guy
1) No signs of intelligent life
2) No sense of humor
3) Drinks too much
4) Thinks He's "All that"
5) Has 2 buddies with him who want to join in
6) Has 2 girlfriends with him who want to join in
7) Drives an old, nasty car. (Had a bad experience once)
8) Wants to let his dog watch
9) Asks if he can take pictures
10) Dresses bad and has bad breath.

Top Ten Reasons To Bed A Guy
1) The man with a brain who communicates what he wants without speaking you know you're sitting across the table and he gets that look in his eyes ohmygod!
2) A man who's serious when he needs to be but can also laugh at himself
3) Treats a lady like a lady
4) Whispers naughty things in my ear during a slow dance
5) Makes me forget about the world around us
6) A beautiful, gentle first kiss
7) A man with a sense of adventure
8) A man who can carry a tune.
9) A man who's upfront and not into head games.
10) A man who carries an extra set of batteries.

From Heather
Not willing: He thinks he's all that.
Willing: He thinks *I'm* all that.

Not Willing: He fumbles around women.
Willing: He appears confident that he can make me howl.

Not Willing: Bad hygiene, or impeccable, anal hygiene
Willing: Clean, but not "pretty"

Not Willing: Thinks he's funny.
Willing: Is funny.

Not Willing: Drunk/stoned/stupid
Willing: In control of all his faculties, can carry an intelligent conversation.

Not willing: No eye contact, or the absence of soul in his eyes
Willing: Not only makes eye contact but looks into my soul.

Lastly, one can't argue with the basic chemistry ... some subconscious scent he gives off, some incomprehensible "click".

From Sue
The look in a guy eyes, my dh [dear husband] and I swing with a few other couples, so now I get to go with sort of guys I avoided like the plague when I was younger.

I have a fondness for the 'bad boy look' the guys like that are always a dead cert for me, apart from that, I'm happy as long as the guy is interested in me, either my body or my mind, I don't mind which.

From Sandaidh
What makes me willing? Well, I can tell you about one man...

It was the warm welcome I received when I arrived. He was genuinely happy to see me, and showed it.. .with the smile which lit his whole face, the twinkle in his eyes, the exuberance of his greeting. It was spending several wonderful hours, sitting side by side, talking, about odd bits and pieces, people we knew, things we'd done. Just spending time. And it wasn't long into that time before I *wanted* so much to reach over and take his hand in mine and hold it. But I was afraid, afraid he'd think I was too forward. And then I wanted to run my fingers through his hair, to see if it was as soft and silky as it looked when the breeze caressed it. But that definitely would have been too forward. That sparked the interest.

Then later, there was a quick, hesitant kiss, almost a peck on the lips, which showed me that he was as unsure as I was. But there was that smile, and the twinkle in those eyes.... That was followed by a kiss that curled my toes, and if he hadn't been holding me in a hug I'll never forget, I'd have slid right down to the ground because my legs would have been melted. That kiss was gentle, yet so...I don't quite know how to describe it other than wonderful, and one like I've never had before. It matched the hug perfectly, which pulled me close and held me snug, but wasn't suffocating.

I wanted to snuggle up closer and just hold him. Just hold on and bask in the warmth and caring that I felt. I'd like to have stayed there for hours, but I couldn't.

I will treasure those memories forever.

From Galiana Chance
I've been out of the pickup scene for a while now, but I'm stretching back into my memory...

It was RARELY a stranger. Almost never. Instead, it tended to be a guy I knew from somewhere, and usually my switch got flipped on the 3rd or 4th time I met him. Guys that made me pant had these things in common:

Smart. Do not pass GO. Do not collect $200 without smart.

Could laugh at himself (lightly self-deprecating humor is a huge plus)

Either amusing or easily amused (meaning he genuinely laughs at my pathetic jokes and funny stories, or others' jokes and funny stories - people who can only laugh at their own jokes suck)

Hungry but not desperate -- the most appealing attitude is one where he's appreciative of my beauty and charms (she said humbly), but would be totally okay going home alone too.

Able to make and maintain dynamic eye contact. When I'm talking, eyes on me, and change your facial expressions to let me know you're listening. When you're talking, it's okay to look away to think, but not if you're telling me anything at all about me - if you're talking about me, look at me.

Able to make the first move. This is the clincher for me personally. I know, women can make the first move too, and thank goodness for women who do (you go grrrl whoever you are). And who'd have expected ME to be all traditional and dress-in-pink-girl-ish about this issue? But it's true, a guy who could say "I'm really attracted to you" or just as good "May I kiss you?" or could figure out that I wanted him to kiss me on the dance floor and went ahead and obliged -- two thumbs up, bud - chances are you'll know what to do with me once you get me to bed if you can figure out how to make the first move. Or that's what I thought, anyway. And the bonus one that got me more than once -

Men who dance, whether they're any good or not. Just being willing to stand out there nodding your head while occasionally twirling me is a huge turn-on. I love getting twirled. Most women do. Plus, the thought is - if he can lead me on a dance floor, he can lead me elsewhere... Again, my inner feminist is totally tied in knots at that statement, but hey - it flips my switch.

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