Taking Care of Business

On the sly...or so you think

Add a bit of spice to your masturbation pleasures...

• PornGantic Network includes 25 eye-popping sites filled to over-flowing with exclusive videos featuring all the things you'd like to do—and some you may not want to admit you want to do—such goodies as spankings, strip searches, strap-ons, doctor fantasies, anal play, and much much more.

• Wasteland is a darkly elegant and exotic site, moody and mysterious and so fully loaded with erotic BDSM content that it is impossible to cover it all. Watch thousands of hours of bondage and fetish films and pictures. Enjoy live BDSM video chat, an active fetish community, and so much more.

From Rose
I've always masturbated whether my husband was there or not, or awake or not. It was never an issue at all for either of us. I don't orgasm during regular sex or oral sex and the only thing that works on me is myself, or a vibrator, so we simply adjusted to that particular glitch. And if he wanted to do himself, that was perfectly okay with me, too. If either of us was already asleep and the other was doing it, I think the only issue was waking up the other person and disturbing their sound sleep. It had absolutely nothing to do with recriminations for doing it or for going it alone, but rather that same level of annoyance as when one of the cats decides to use you as a springboard to the window ledge at three a.m.

I have never understood why masturbation, within a relationship, is an issue for the people in that relationship. It's a perfectly natural activity and sometimes you just want to be alone with yourself and your fantasies and have an orgasm without having to worry about your  partner. It is no different from watching a movie alone or dining alone or reading a book or enjoying any other solitary pleasures. Just because you're in a relationship doesn't mean you can't enjoy those solitary pleasures.

From Pat
Yes, I've wanked many, many times while a lover/partner was asleep beside me. Particularly when I was married. I wasn't able to have an orgasm during partner sex until a few years after my marriage ended. During my marriage, masturbation was my *only* option for having orgasms. So that's what I did.

Unfortunately, I didn't have the kind of open, understanding  relationship with my husband, so I felt like I had to keep my wanking a secret. Also unfortunately, usually the only time I want to wank is after I go to bed at night, so it's not like I could have taken care of business on my own when the hubs wasn't around.

I remember there was shame. Partly shame because I couldn't come by his hand or mouth or cock or any other kind of stimulation besides my own right middle finger. Partly shame because I was keeping secrets from him. Partly shame because I knew if he ever caught me, I'm sure he would have felt really bad about it. Like "why aren't you asking me to do that for you?" kind of thing.
 
If I knew then what I know now about my own body, our sex life would have been vastly different, much better, and I'm sure I wouldn't have  felt the need to secretly masturbate after my husband fell asleep beside me. It's even quite possible the marriage wouldn't have ended at all...because the dissonance between our sex drives was a major, major point of contention between us. I'm sure if I'd been able to have orgasms with him, my sex drive would have improved dramatically. Who knows.

Very near the end of my marriage, when my husband and I were fighting a lot, he came right out and asked me if I ever masturbated. I told him yes. He couldn't understand why I would do that. I think he was very hurt, very confused, bewildered. His reaction confirmed my reasoning for keeping my secret wanking a secret.

Page:   1 | 2 | 3
___________________

Interested in this topic? Share your thoughts with us.

  E-mail this page

Copyright © 1996 and on, Erotica Readers Association, Inc.
All Rights Reserved World Wide. Reproduction in whole or in part in any form or
medium without express written permission is prohibited.