Porn and Relationships

Hot or Not?

Here's porn for her, and for him. Play nice and share...

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From Julius
As ardent watchers of porn movies my partner and I agree they are for the most part trash, but find them nonetheless delightfully stimulating. The occasional excellent one makes the search fun. We usually go together to the XXX Store and spend as much as an hour trying to find something delightful. The covers are a useless guide and I often wonder if grabbing the first three would work as well (three seems to 'almost' guarantee one moderately good 'un.)

As for the original question? Well we're still together and sex is the oil for the machinery. Porn is about sex, sex is wonderful. Written and pictorial, I find it delightful as long as it's 'within my comfort zone'. Heavens, I (no, we) even write the stuff and call it erotica. It says here in my dictionary Pornography; writing, pictures, films etc depicting sexual activity with the intention of arousing sexual desire. Sounds great to me!

From Knotme
I was neither pro porn nor con. In the very beginning of our relationship my husband brought porn into our bedroom, and although it occasionally made me un-comfortable, we watched it together, sometimes it made us laugh, other times it shocked us both but it never turned me on. After a few months and assorted types of movies I began questioning the expectations of my partner in regards to the specific positions and genre of the videos, he assured me that he did not expect me to do the things we were watching or for me to emulate the porn stars. But as our relationship strengthened it turned out I was willing to try new things, things that I knew excited him, I was now quite comfortable using toys and using a strap-on and even having anal sex. Our sex life and experimenting with sex was good ! No, it was Great!

 As the years flew by I didn't give much more thought to him actually wanting the things we were watching, I just felt we were growing together not because of or in-spite of the porn he would occasional throw in. But things being what they are - small things began to nag at me. An interest in "fisting" and lesbians made me wonder maybe even fear the next level and so I asked him again what his expectations were "Oh not to worry he likes to watch that's all" And "fisting that's just bizarre don't give it another thought " but only days later he's telling me how "he's up to almost 4 fingers penetrating me." Whoa I slammed on the breaks and we talked about it again, all the while I'm beginning to doubt what he says. Since his actions speak louder than words and now distrust is creeping in. Although he "doesn't need porn" to get him in the mood and denies that it primes him prior to making love with me, he can easily spend 3 hours indulging his every whim and act online, and is surprised that I am upset because I've been in bed hoping he would join me but now I don't care to relieve him of the online lust he brings to our bed.

I just want a man - my man to want only me, and to think about only me when he is Fucking Me! And honesty would be refreshing too. I've tried to enjoy porn but realize that if I have to try so hard, then it's not right for me. So here I am in a quandary about what I should do, I don't want to wake up at age 70 and despise who I am with or resent who I have become.

While I do agree shared porn can be exciting I also agree  when the 2 are divided there is no compromise. And regardless of the many comments written at this site, I think you're wrong about variety being the spice of life. My opinion - You are really saying that you need some stranger's influence to put you in the mood, then by all means let that stranger's public privates relieve you just as it made you hot. I for one won't be your 2nd choice because you needed something more than your partner's love and intimacy for you to become aroused. By surfing porn sites you minimize the love you could have shared with your partner, you take out the Love and make it merely Sex.

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