Porn and Relationships

Hot or Not?

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From Sue & Phil
Yes, we use porn movies to relax us, get us in the mood for lovemaking, been doing that since before we got married in 1990. We don't expressly hold partner swap parties per se but late on in the party we'll dim the lights, put two or three of our porn movies on various screens around the house and this creates the right atmosphere for our friends to lose their inhibitions and enjoy sex, wives passing their stud hubbies around hoping to enjoy them copycating what's going on in the movies!

From Jay
My husband and I regularly watch porn movies, have done for many years, we have a 'library' of about 50 and growing, mainly tapes but now some DVDs, with six new ones bought each year, a mix of straight, gay and bi. We both have very busy jobs so watch porn to relax us at the end of a stressful day, also using it as part of our foreplay. We occasionally hold partner swap parties with our friends so the movies are used by us for creating the right mood, our friends appreciating the stimulus provided by porn movies.

From Megan
I think porn is good for a relationship that's open to trying new things; it's good for people who are open-minded and experimental. It's good for any relationship that needs a new lease on sexual adventures.

After a night of watching porn, you might find yourself daydreaming about what could happen the next time. Just thinking of things to do to each other could be enough to make you quiver during the day.  

I went out with someone a long time ago and while the sex was great... I knew something special was going to happen when he lit a LOT of candles, then popped in a porn video. And it set the stage for not only that evening but quite a few more. It was exciting. It was fun. It was definitely satisfying.

It's NOT good for any relationship that depends on it for fulfillment; it's not good if one of the partners is obsessed with it. (A sexual addict is NOT fun to live with.) It's definitely not good for any relationship where one partner doesn't enjoy it. Not only do the bodies have to agree, the minds have to do come to terms first.

From Richard
Depends upon the relationship and the porn, to some extent, since it can be crass to insist on a partner 'sharing' something which is outside their own particular comfort zone. Watching or looking at porn in the hope that it will encourage your partner to see something as acceptable and engage in something they currently abhor is, in my view, less likely to succeed than careful, heartfelt discussion and perhaps some reference to a good guide to lovemaking.

We're talking about shared porn, I presume? Un-shared porn which results in him or her jacking off in the bathroom can't, I imagine, do much for a relationship, although there are circumstances in which it might be helpful.

In describing what works best for me I would hit the porn/erotica debate again, I think. One of the assets to my relationship is that I read my own writing to my wife. Reading to one another is one of the warmest acts of sharing anyway, I believe, innately cosy and intimate, and reading erotica to a consenting partner can be very stimulating to both, especially if the story is something which encourages re-enactment.

From Michael
Hello Group. This is my first time posting in the porn question part of the website...I spend most of my time in the breast/nipple section.

First I must introduce myself....I have cerebral palsy and use a wheelchair.....and yes porn is a big part of my sexual life because I cannot get married due to the fact that health insurance companies will not cover me because cerebral palsy started at birth.....if I was injured or something like that after I was born...I wouldn't have any problems. I can't get married because they need to see me as a dependent.

So for better or worse I use porn and hookers for my release...so no I can't relate to the married people out there but I do get lucky and get the same hookers so in a way I am in a relationship so to speak and we get to know each others lives; so yes I see them as my friends and not just warm bodies.

And now you know me so on to the topic.

As I said I love porn on many different levels....it is a good thing.

But here is the kick in the head.......I totally agree with all the women who says that hiding porn from your partner is truly a bad unhealthy thing to do and some guys out there will hate me for saying this....Porn under no circumstance should be hidden

Guys are sometimes afraid to tell their wives or girlfriends what they really want or need for fear of being seen as a freak or deviant and shunned from the women in their lives

Generally women are very open minded about sex....all guys have to do is talk and communicate honestly...Girls don't care about porn as long as they feel they are included and not competing and that goes for competing against other real women as well.

As for me personally I need help jacking off so yes my women do that for me and yes sometimes its to porn and sometimes they just talk about themselves and their lives and yes they sometimes get to choose the movie.

Guys, believe me on this when they are involved in the process and they feel safe and cared for.....women freakier than us making our fantasies come true by a million.

And after the porn and jacking off and sucking on my earlobes yes we have sex and sometimes with the movie still going.

But you can't keep secrets from women besides you just might get all your fantasies to come true.

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