Anal Sex for Straight Men

A penetrating question

Curious about anal penetration?

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From Mike
I am a 70 yr old male who loves being the "bottom" or receiver of anal sex. I am continually wearing a butt plug to stretch my sphincter muscles to allow for good anal penetration. I continue to enjoy eating pussy,and also sucking cock, or whatever is available for me to have and give orgasms, my wildest anal penetration came from a bi female with a strap-on dildo,(she being half my age), we did each other until we collapsed, sweaty and totally exhausted.

From Josie
I don't think my husband would appreciate me writing about him but ten years or so ago he played rugby every Saturday in winter in England, sometimes on tour overseas in the summer. After each game all thirteen players would get into one large bath or shower room to clean up. A lot of horseplay would follow, especially if they had won the game, including mutual masturbation, fellatio and anal penetration.

After one game my husband suddenly became the focus of one guy's attentions, he very quickly penetrating hubby. He says it was a first and when he noticed hubby enjoying it the other guy would bugger hubby after each game with eventually another guy simultaneously sucking off hubby's erect penis. With most of the men on natural post-match highs and big erections they were either buggering or being buggered/sucking erections, so hubby being buggered wasn't an isolated case.

Indeed, he was himself regularly penetrating one or more of the guys in the bath or showers after a game. It didn't make of any the men rabidly gay, softly homo probably, and if the wives accompanied the men on a tour of, say, Australia or South Africa, it was a badge of honour for each of the wives, including me, to be fucked by one or two of the players and I saw nothing unusual in a guy go from penetrating me to buggering hubby and back again to me, just very exciting sexually.

From Mike
I am a 70 yr old male currently using a butt plug to enlarge my anus to allow a man my age to penetrate me, along with a 20 yr old male to do likewise. I had no idea this would feel so good, even with an enlarged prostate, I enjoy getting it massaged by a hot cock throbbing in my ass.

Even with plenty of lube initially it was painful, but after the head of their cocks got past the sphincter muscle, it was downright orgasmic, with me coming profusely.

Although rock hard erections are a thing of the past, I can still eat pussy with the best of them, and enjoy giving a guy a blow job.

From Martin
I have tried it and enjoy it. I sometimes get my wife to do it to me during sex, and I often do it while I masturbate. It's not a gay thing, but does give pleasure.

From Spearwing
Re Bruce: "Do other girls in here fantasise about doing this?" [see Bruce's entry below]

I happen to be a very dick-focused female; if I were a guy I'd be gay, no question about it. I prefer anal to vaginal far and away, the more so because I can take my man's 10 inches in the back, but not so much in the front. Hubby and I were messing around a few days ago, and he let me climb onto his back and pretend to thrust doggy style. Just the mere suggestion was so hot! No strap-on, finger play or nothing... he doesn't care to have anything touch him there, so just letting me assume the dominant position was a big gift from him.

I had completely underestimated the turn-on value of the position. Something about having his ass pressed against my pubic bone and his hipbones gripped in my hands, and my face against his back. It was totally different than any position where he enters me. I won't press the issue, but I have visions of a strap-on in our future, should he make another offer.

But I never realized how short I am! I'm 5'5" and he's 6'3", so in doggy position my chin barely reaches up to his ribs. I felt like the dog in that Red Bull commercial.

From Doug
I have hemorrhoids. A simple finger for an exam is painful and leaves me bleeding. Same with my girl friend. Neither of us find anal anything interesting at all, just painful. It's good that I don't have any great craving for anal penetration, because it isn't in the cards.

From CP
My partner & I have been experimenting with this for about a year now. Full strap-on as well as vibes and my finger (one of my favorites). He enjoys the raw intimacy and I have to say it really gets to me as well, the act of penetrating him I find to be an incredible gift. 

I don't know if men feel this way about vaginal penetration, but for me, his desire for me to do this is an act of trust and faith that's overwhelming, not to mention the intense sexual high we both get from it.

From Moniker
I think my guy wants to try this...and I wouldn't think anything strange about it. It doesn't make me think that he'd have homosexual tendencies. I think it's just another, new way to find pleasure behind closed doors. If he's attracted to me, and wants to share new experiences with me, all the better. Besides, I've heard that the prostate and be stimulated this way and is supposed to be like the equivalent to the female g-spot (we're trying to find mine now, why not find his too?)

I do think he's interested in it, but hasn't found the way to bring it up. I'm kinda shy too, but I'm sure it'll come up sometime or another. We've just started to discuss/try some new stuff...wish us luck.

From Bobbie
After 15 years of marriage we decided to expand our sexual horizons and knowledge and swung with other couples and single guys. For two years we indulged before agreeing that we were sexually sated. Part of our experiences with the single guys, we saw three of them, six meetings each I recall, was my husband and them enjoying anal sex. It was a first for my husband, he had given me anal sex on many occasions but had never received it. I

t was a revelation for him, he enjoying it from day one, me finding it very exciting to watch. The big breakthrough came when he, very naturally, for the first time, gave one of our male guests anal. It was of course no different a sensation for him to going inside my anus but it represented a big step forward for him, his excited penis inside another male's anus. After that he became the active partner and provided anal for all our male threesomes, a favorite position of ours being a guest male in my anus, and my husband in his anus. 

We grew out of our experimental period and I do wonder if my hubby misses male ass. I offer him my anus of course and he readily accepts it and I find it very erotic and very fulfilling. But I wonder if he's thinking of making love not to me but instead one of those single guys.

From Anonymous
This was the "big secret" in all the mainstream women's magazines a few years ago -- Redbook, Glamour: Finger your guy's anus. In fact, I quit buying these magazines for their sex tips, because every month, it was the same thing.

From Scott
I am about as straight as an arrow, but then being gay or not being gay has nothing to do with anal sex. Now 45, I have enjoyed it for over thirty years, and I mean I enjoy giving and receiving. The feeling of being penetrated by, giving it up to, my girl is fantastic. When she starts to come she grabs my hips and presses ever so deeply into me the feeling on so many fronts are incredible. I am her anal slave and she has me in any way, at any time she wants, and I wouldn't have it any other way.

From Anonymous 
I have done this with two different men and they are now addicted to it. Once he was on his stomach and I was kissing his back and ran my tongue down to the crack of his ass. He immediately got on his knees, reached back and spread his ass cheeks and I ran my tongue down the crack of his ass. He went wild, pushing his ass hard against my tongue.  I lubed up my forefinger and very gently inserted it into his ass. He pushed hard against my finger, saying, "fuck me, fuck me!" I hit the prostrate and began gently stroking it with a "come hither" motion with my forefinger. He exploding into an intense orgasm and said he almost passed out, it was so intense. He emails me daily, telling me that he has self pleasured, inserted a dildo in his ass, making fucking motions, imagining it is my finger there and he strokes his cock until he has an intense orgasm, calling out my name!

The other guy is homophobic. Recently on his birthday, I asked him if he trusted me enough to give him a special present. He said yes. I had him lie on his stomach and I began giving him a tongue bath. I ran my tongue down the crack of his ass and he immediately (just like the other guy) raised up his ass, pushing it harder against my tongue, telling me how incredible it felt. He was rock hard and squirming. I very gently inserted a well lubed finger and did the "come hither" motion with my forefinger, feeling the prostrate and began stroking it. His whole body was jerking, as if he was having a seizure and he too was screaming, "fuck me, fuck me!" He had an incredibly intense orgasm, shooting semen all over my sheets! He now wants me to repeat this act each time we get together.

I don't think its about being submissive, feminine, being nervous about "turning gay", its simply about doing what feels good between two consenting adults.

From Bob
The first time I experienced it, I had an incredible orgasm. My girl friend and I were playing and the thought of this being gay never entered my mind it was just great. Since then masturbation is not complete without some type of anal stimulation. I'm 50 years old and this is just something I enjoy. 

I think if you start needing to add special labels to what you do to make something ok or not ok you have problems. Unless you like to feel you are doing something wrong which adds pleasure to the "badness" of what you are doing...that's a whole other game.

From Stephen
I got into this a few years ago with this woman I knew from the city. I'd been in a sexless marriage for decades... and moving into a much freer relationship meant the door was wide open. We did lots of things, and she thought exploring some backside fun with me was a great idea. We got into it too. I never had an orgasm from it. I think I'm one of those guys where the penetration kind of blocks some of the spiking possibilities (I read about that in Tristan Taormino's book on anal sex:), but I liked the feelings a lot. I also got pretty good at doing myself that way.

Someone else commented though that sometimes other choices we make block possibilities, and that's what happened for me. I'm with someone else now, have been for several years now, and we're both very happy. However, she's not someone who'd ever go in for backdoor fun with me. But all the other reasons for being with her are very strong and positive, so that's something that I have let go of. Can't have it all. Wouldn't want it really.

One last comment, is I've read other postings about anal play where the guys feel they just have to say, "And I'm not gay.." I think that's silly. It's my body, and what feels good to me, regardless of how it happens, is what feels good to me. A loving woman, who's into creating pleasure in my body, is not making me into someone else. Lots of guys on guys like to fellate each other. why not? But because my lover also likes to, she doesn't make me feel gay. She makes me feel great!

From Nobilis
A friend of mine recently said something like "Any guy who likes his asshole touched is a little bit gay." I ripped him a new one, don't worry, but my point is that it's a fairly common prejudice. Lots of men harbor a secret fear that they might be "a little bit gay". That fear causes them anxiety and even pain that's hard to encompass in words.

From Oxartes
Well, I certainly can't speak for any straight man other than myself. It's not the fear of being perceived (by others or myself) as feminized or submissive but it's the choices one makes about the life one wants to lead & who one wants to lead it with that often obviate the possibility of ever fulfilling a craving or desire to be penetrated. Other desires take precedence over this one and relegate this one so far down on the totem pole of possibility that it's pushed out of reality into a small, well-concealed, deeply hidden section of our consciousness, where it will never see the light of day and indulged only as an occasional fantasy

From Cervo
Penetration can be very uplifting.

From remittance girl
Penetration can be depressing too, depending on the position you're in.

From Bob
I cringe the second I hear the Doc snap on the latex glove. Last time he snapped on the latex he said, "You know, at a time like this, you don't care if your doctor went to Harvard Medical -- you're just grateful he has slender fingers." BTW, he went to one of those Caribbean med schools.

From Sedona Leigh
I've followed this discussion too, with great interest. It's been especially interesting to hear the differing male perspectives. Anal sex play is a wonderful thing - on both sides of the fence as far as I've experienced. And I think part of its joy is that fact that most of us were indoctrinated into the taboo concept of the pleasure at very young ages. Frankly, I don't think things have changed much in the enlightenment arena. I think perhaps the taboo on masturbation has lightened up, however.

I'm raising a teenage son - I don't see him having much comfort in the concept of penetration. Even with sex positive education - the mechanics of sex still stick primarily with the rudiments of baby making. His logic complies with the concept that he's got the Tab and she's got the Slot. And I don't think it's much different for girls. I remember in my late teen years having a boyfriend decide he was going to give a good stab at anal sex (turning a pleasurable thing into one of indignation) and getting his shoulder dislocated for his trouble. So I'm thinking I had a huge stigma on it myself. I don't think I was on board with the idea much until my own personal masturbation skills began to broaden in my early 20's. It's quite easy to erase a taboo when you can do it to yourself and come like a rocket. My lovers have told me much the same thing.

As to the dominant or submissive nature of the event, it's not really the act but the situation itself that determines that, I think. I have slept with a bisexual man that wanted pretty heavy penetration from a submissive angle. He definitely wanted to be bottom every once in a while and his actions made that clear, not the fact he was being penetrated. Most of my other experiences were often mutual or reciprocated and regarded as serious cigarette sex and extreme bliss was achieved. Maybe I've just not caught up on thinking vertically.

From Diane
Last night, I spoke to my partner about this discussion, specifically asking him about the age aspect. Neither of us is particularly young. We certainly don't fit into that '20's and 30's group of supposedly sexually enlightened people who think nothing of male penetration.' My idea was that once one gets to an age where he can feel comfortable with sex and his body and also feel comfortable about being open with his partner, he would be more open to exploring this side of himself.

My partner said he didn't think that was true; that men of his generation were taught that this was "a homosexual act" and that "real men" didn't do such things. He said that the first time a girlfriend penetrated him with her finger and he liked it, he couldn't very well run proselytizing back to the locker room, and tell all the guys about the joys of having your anus touched because it just wasn't done.

So, I suppose I was wrong about the age thing. But I still find it hard to believe that 20-something guys are secure enough in their masculinity or their sexuality that they are completely open to this sort of exploration and the discussion of it. 

From Amanda
When I was 36, I had a lover who was 21 who loved anal penetration. Another lover who was 48 also adored it. We did the whole strap on thing. Out of about 55 lovers, ranging in age from 21-57, I'd say less than half expressed a desire to have anal penetration. Three of them were clearly submissive and bisexual. The others I didn't ask and they never said.

From Bruce
I love anal stimulation. I have bi tendencies, but most of my experiences have been with women. I love nothing more than a woman playing with my arse, and when they hit the right spot (prostate), my god, look out. Most of the girls I have been with seem to really get off that I am so into it, and they love to play with me. I can't believe so many guys seem hung up about it as it really seems to turn girls on quite a bit to play with a guys arse as well.

I have only done the strap on thing with girls a couple of times, but that has been a great experience. The thought of the reversal of normal roles is a real turn on for both parties it seems, and both girls said it was a long held fantasy of theirs to fuck a guy like that.

Do other girls in here fantasise about doing this?

From Mich
Would love for Tess to teach my wife the technique of milking the prostate. [see Tess' entry below] This is a verrry sensitive play area that really needs more attention and to be more openly discussed. Tess if you read this, would you go into the subject (pardon the pun) a little deeper?

From Tess
I think it's HOT. My husband likes it. He's not gay, or even remotely interested in any kind of m/m action. Actually, I can say that for several men I have been with. The anus is a highly erogenous zone. I know how to effectively milk the male prostate dry without a touch to my husband's penis. It's especially intense for him to have a "dry" orgasm after I have milked his prostate completely empty. My husband also claims that his ass "cums" much like a woman's G-spot orgasm.

It just feels good to have it stimulated. Penetration goes beyond stimulation; there are few sensory receptors inside the rectum, just as there are few inside the vagina. It is the actual act of being penetrated, filled, "taken" - that gives the pleasure. The exchange of give/receive is powerful and makes one very vulnerable. I think it takes a huge amount of trust and intimacy for a man to allow (or make a request for) himself to be penetrated. But in my experience, if he becomes comfortable with it, he will not be disappointed.

From Peter
My wife and I enjoy a lot of variety and anal sex is included. It's very erotic for me to occasionally assume a more submissive role and have her stimulate my prostate with one of her vibrators while she slowly strokes my cock. It's a real luxury to have her keep me on the edge for 10 or 15 minutes with the extra prostate stimulation. When it's unbearable to wait any longer, she'll speed up pumping my cock and push hard on the prostate. It's always a very intense orgasm and she says I ejaculate longer and harder.

From R.D.
The first lover who digitally penetrated me was a wonderfully adventurous British woman I was dating while overseas. Actually, I was the one who was curious, so one day while she was stroking me, I guided her hand down to my asshole. She did not hesitate, and after that, she would usually finger me whenever we made love. 

Through the years I continued to enjoy the experience with selected girlfriends who I felt would be open to the idea. Then, nine years ago I met the woman I eventually married. She was into toys, so one night, while she was fingering me, I asked her to fuck me up the ass with a strap on. From the moment I bent over and felt her slide it in, I was in heaven. 

She has been doing me about once a month or so for the last 8 years. I have been returning the favor as well. What can I say? It's just an awesome feeling. I would love to be able to come without my cock being stroked, but it hasn't happened yet. No worries, the orgasms are very intense.

From Kevin
Anal Sex for straight men is great. It is not submissive and doesn't make you gay. As with all sex, with the right person, and at the right time, whether you're male or female, whether you're the giver or the receiver, anal sex can be very satisfying.

If you have never received anal sex and you would like to try... make some preparation. The anal ring needs to used to stretching to accommodate a penis or dildo - otherwise you are likely to find it very uncomfortable. Buy yourself a small butt plug and get used to wearing it... then buy another, larger, one and get used to that.

Make sure you have a good water based lubricant - never vaseline. Yes, it is wise to be prepared - you don't want to end up with a mess, so have an anal douche before penetration. The first few times - GO SLOW - whether you're the giver or receiver. And if the receiver says "stop", then "STOP"

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