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The Good, Bad and Ugly of Oral Sex for Him

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From Anonymous
I have a question for the guys out there. Or maybe I should address it to both the guys and girls. Is there an unwritten rule that you have to give oral sex to get it? I am one of those women who doesn't especially like giving blow jobs, and certainly wouldn't give one to a casual sex partner. I am now to the point where I rarely have casual sex since the guys never seem to go down on me and I prefer my sex with orgasm, thank you.

Now I am with a partner who really likes receiving and I get the sense that he resents giving me oral sex if I don't return the favor each time. So it finally occurs to me - is there something I am missing out there? Some unwritten rule that you guys have that you won't give a girl oral sex unless she reciprocates? I guess I just thought we all had our likes and dislikes but that every guy would/should understand that women almost only come through oral sex so if you deny them that you deny them an orgasm. It never occurred to me that I should expect to have to give a blow job to get an orgasm (that sounds like scorekeeping, doesn't it? but it also sounds like reciprocation, which I read a lot about on this site).

From Anthony
Honestly speaking, I think that the sexiest thing that a woman can do to a man (and vice versa) is oral foreplay. I must say I enjoyed all the different viewpoint, but the one thing I have to disagree with is a woman spitting on my dick. I realize that every modern day porno movie highlights this act as though it is the ultimate male fantasy. But some of us old fashioned guys prefer that a woman treat our most valued possession as though it were her own private lollipop. To treat it with tender loving care, with a light touch, making sure to give every inch of it special attention. Use her lips and tongue much more so than her mouth. And last but not least, make love to the head, for as we all know every good story starts from the beginning!

From Anonymous
My sweet husband of 20+ years underwent a prostatectomy last year. As soon as he was cleared by his doctor, who performed a nerve-sparing procedure, we began his "rehab". He has minimal loss of sensation, but the erectile part is unreliable. All of the pharmaceuticals seem to require the assistance of more local and concentrated attention to achieve an erection. His doctor gave us the admonition "Be kind to each other," which was insightful in the extreme.

The result has been that I have given more head in the last year than in the prior 20! And I've been loving it! Neither of us were prepared for the fact that we would need to spend time talking together, solving the problems that came up (or didn't!). The result is that I think about sex all the time - can't help it, I have a problem-solving nature. I had no idea it was possible for a man to have an orgasm without an erection, but I've made it happen for him more times now than I've bothered to count! In exploring ways to make him more aroused, which enhances the effect of the drugs, we experimented with the power of scent. His nuzzling and inhaling the scent my parts gives him a rush I can feel when he is in my mouth!  I love science!

In the years prior to his surgery, I always felt a reserve from him, a reluctance to come in my mouth. Now, I find he is far more willing to surrender and allow me to overload him with sensation until he is pushing his cock into my face with the kind of abandon I had always wondered if he was capable of. It isn't really a matter of what comes out or doesn't so much as it's a matter of being willing to strip away the reserve and show one's true and abandoned self. I'll trade a mouthful of the good stuff for the feeling that he has allowed himself to be at his most vulnerable in my presence any time!

I imagine he'd be horrified if he knew I wrote this, but I find it pretty entertaining that we had to be in our 50's/60's to figure out that a blow job is a thing of much greater power than either of us may ever have thought! We become closer and more sexually entwined each day.  Thank God!

From Dale
Wow! You would not believe how hard my dick is from reading all of these posts! I love the women's' descriptions of their techniques, their reactions, their thoughts and feelings about giving oral sex. For the record, ladies who are asking for men's opinions, I like it real wet and sloppy, with your saliva running all down my shaft, through your fingers and down by my balls and the crack of my ass. The wetter and sloppier the better. Making smacking sounds and/or slurping sounds, yes. Go slowly, too, and moaning is good, real, real good. Personally, I don't like the tongue-in-the-slit thing, ok?

From Mani
My wife not only sucked my penis, she was an expert in sucking my balls. It is actually a fantastic feeling when individual or both balls are sucked. It's simply mind blowing. The faint tinge of pain adds to the fun. I used to tell my wife to suck as hard as possible. She told me that she loved the softness of the balls. Most of the time she would alternate between my penis and my balls. I in turn returned her favours. We had a lot of fun.

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