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Inside the Erotic Mind

This Month's Hot Topic

Remember Your Best Orgasm?
Tell us about it


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Fantasies

Blasphemous Fantasies
Why are they so titillating?

Could You, Would You?
3 fantasies to try on

Forced Fantasies
Right or wrong?

Men's Fantasies
Men dare to reveal

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Women dare to share

Your Fantasy 3some
MMF or FFM?


Masturbation

Masturbation Memories
First experiences

Taking Care of Business
On the sly...or so you think


Oral Pleasures

Oral Sex for Her
Talk with your tongue

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How to blow his mind

Swallow or Spit
What's a person to do?

The Taste of Cum
Yummy or icky?


Orgasmic Pleasures

Cum Shots
Cupid's liquid darts

Describe Your Orgasm
How Does it Feel? Don't be Shy...

Faking It
Why the deception?

Harnesses & Dildos...Oh My!
Pegging your partner

Oral Sex or Intercourse?
What is your preference


Keeping Abreast..

Breasts & Nipples
Do they drive you wild?

Erotic Lactation
Your thoughts?

Male Nipple Play
Men, are you into it?


Relationship Woes

Browsing for Cupid
Online love or heartache?

Sex After Marriage
Who's doing it...or not?

Why Do People Cheat?
Is the grass really greener?

Younger/Older Relationships
It's complicated...or is it?


Inquiring Minds

Women: During The Act
What do you think about?

Men: During The Act
What do you think about?

What do Women Want
Hint...it's not size

What do Men Want
Hint...it rhymes with 'vex'

Designa Vagina

lips to die for...?



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From Sarah
Reading these posts just released so much emotion that I had been building up for years. I'm glad to hear that I'm not alone, but it is still an insecurity that I can not move past. Many men considered me to be an attractive female, but I can't help thinking what they would think about me if they saw my labia. It does not bother me as much that it is big, but that the lips are very different in size and length. Although I can read that so many men appreciate a vagina, no matter what it looks like, I still can't help but think that I will turn a guy off. Every time I sleep with someone, I do not let them look down there. It's tearing me apart because it is hard to fully enjoy myself sexually if I can't completely relax.

I thought about surgery so many times, but I am a college student and I don't know where I would find the money to get it done. I've never told anyone how I've felt before and it hurts so much that I can't help but cry now. I want to share my feelings with my mom, but I don't even know how to bring it up.

From Molly
I am the only woman I have seen in the flesh with lips - both sets, mind you - as big as mine. When I was a child, I would pull on the inner lips for the pleasure of it, then alternately pull on the outer ones. Maybe that caused it , maybe not... water under the bridge. I've been really self-conscious about it in the past, but with little reason. I'm fairly sure the only reason most porn doesn't have women with big lips is because, well, most women don't have em!

I remember back when my now husband I had been together for only about a week, and we were house-sitting for my sister. He began to fondle my bare genitals, then he said, very earnestly, "you have my favorite pussy ever", and when I jokingly said "of course I do!", he just looked at me with big eyes and said "no. seriously. ever."

Of course, at this time, I did not know that most of the porn my husband had looked at was, for lack of better language, pussy-oriented. I later became familiar with his tastes in porn, and the man loves pussy. Especially shots from behind, where the lips really open up. I only now know what a compliment it was that after years of looking at all those pathetic, dinky porn-star pussy lips, he preferred my big, soft ones.

So despair not, ladies! In fact, you've been blessed with your big lips. Men like big everything - big boobs (which I do not have), big butts, and yep, big pussy - it's just more to love.

From Confused 18 yr old
Thank gosh I've came across this web page. My minoria are long, I feel so disgusted standing in front of the mirror seeing them hang loose. When I wear a bathing suit, when I wear anything, they seem to stick out. And I've honestly thought about getting them surgically removed. Now that I know I'm not the only one who's experiencing this, I am sooooo relieved. I still have to say that the smaller, the better. But guess what? Some people are born with bigger breasts then others, some have nicer eyes, some are tall, some are short. Who are we to say what's nice?

From Anonymous
My boyfriend loves my thick, full pussy lips, and I do, too. He was also the only lover I've had that noticed I only have one labia minora. A doctor pointed it out to me when I was around 21, during an exam. Of all the pap smears in all the years... only one doctor has mentioned this. That's what I find strange. Anyway, my boyfriend is very gentle about it. He'll gently chide me about being one-lipped, but he really loves its uniqueness.

I've noticed a lot of Asian women have those compact, tight looking little porn star pussies, and I think they are gorgeous, too. I guess I'm always curious about those who are different than me. The female vulva is an art form, no matter what the shape.

From Rochelle
I noticed my labia were odd when my boyfriend asked why they hanged out. The one is a bit longer than the other but only one really sticks out. It's also dark in colour, but I'm fair in complexion. When I was younger I rode on a bicycle and knocked my lips on the bar of the bike when my foot slipped. I always thought it was that, but now I think differently. I also feel that they shouldn't only show girls with beautiful vaginas on porn, because it makes the males think that is what it should look like. When actually everybody looks different.

From Mandy
I have large labia, and thought of surgery until i had a tummy tuck and lost feeling in my thighs and surgery site. I just want to say thank you to all the men that are so wonderfully intrigued with women's natural beauty. I guess my husband is not the only great guy out there. Thanks.

From Jessy
It is so good to finally see a site like this. When I was younger, I was very insecure about my inner lips. They are longer than my outer lips and a little uneven. They have a slight grayish color at the edges. I would look at these girls in magazines and see their tiny vaginas, with hardly any labia at all, and they were completely even-toned and pink, I thought there was something wrong with me. I finally got up enough courage to actually show my mom my vagina at age 16. She actually started laughing, because I had constantly told her of my insecurities about it, and she said she expected my inner lips to be dangling 6 inches down. She told me that I was perfectly normal, and I was beyond relieved. My insecure came back when my best friend saw my vagina, and in disgust said, "ewww! your vagina looks so different from mine!" I wanted to punch her.

I've been with plenty of guys and no one had ever said one word about it, and that makes me feel better. But I have heard that some guys think that the bigger the girl's lips are, the more men she's been with, which is so completely wrong. I look the same as I did before I ever had sex.

Thank you so much! I only wish there was information like this when I was 13!

From Juda
No, I wouldn't touch my labia or any part of my zsu-zsu. After seeing the Vagina Monologues, I began to see things from her perspective. When I saw my first porn vid I went to check myself and decided I'm much prettier than any of those ladies. I also saw an art exhibit where the painter did only vaginas. At that moment I realized we are all different. To the artist, each one of those zsu-zsus were memorable.

Vaginas aren't supposed to look like they came from a factory. Certainly, I understand the need after children and so forth, and can sympathize for reconstruction, but because of fashion? Nah, a vagina's supposed to be one of a kind, not designed for department stores.

From SimplyScarlett
I watched the documentary The Perfect Vagina with my teenage daughter.  It was a great springboard for a conversation about body parts that are not normally discussed! It was graphic & confronting but absolutely fantastic in the way it addressed the cry of so many women— i.e. "I just want to be normal".  Every girl wonders if she's different or weird and I know my daughter is the same - it was so great for her to see other women and see that every woman is different... THAT is the norm - not the plumped and tidy lips of adult entertainment actresses. 

Boob jobs and rhinoplasty are everywhere but I think many women don't realise that a great deal of the women they see in adult films & magazines have been cosmetically enhanced.  Hell, I didn't even realise they could do that until I watched the documentary!  I just thought they were naturally blessed or hadn't had children yet! There are so many ways for women to by judged by their appearance it was really saddening to realise that that included our lovely pussies as well! I want to help my daughter love and accept herself inside and out so that when she does share herself with a lover she can do so without inhibition and truly enjoy it!  Who needs years of angst and worrying about "am I normal"?

I don't wish to imply that from one documentary she has got it all together but I it was a great way to open the dialogue between us..."would you, could you, do you think you need to?" and a head start in her journey to self acceptance.  Personal comments made about us, even if not meant maliciously, linger for a long, long time.  Only when we truly like what we see ourselves can we ignore or reject the opinions of others and I think realising that your differences and your uniqueness is 'normal' is a big step in achieving that. 

On a side note, my girlfriend was shocked to hear from her 19 year old son that he didn't know women had hair on their vaginas because every women he'd seen (magazines and pornos) and all the girls he'd ever slept with had been completely bald!  Is it any wonder that our sons and our daughters have such skewed opinions on what they expect to see once the clothes come off?

From Anonymous
Ok, so here is my rant about body image and large labia, etc. I've always thought that my inner lips were large but for a long time I just didn't care and every time I messed around with someone, they never seemed to care either. I dated someone for 2 years whose only experience with naked women was porn and he only once asked if my lips were normal and I just said I guess and it never came up again but he was still obviously very turned on by me.

Then after I broke up with that boyfriend, I messed around with someone new and he seemed really into me but mentioned to his friend, which got back to me, that he thought that my lips were large. I was hugely offended even though he never said they were gross or bad and still always tried to mess around and have sex with me. For several years after that I was always very self conscious and would constantly ask guys if they thought I was gross or hated me now because they saw how I looked and pretty much all of them would just react stunned and not even know what to say. Many would just say shut up, you have the hottest pussy ever and would think I was fishing for compliments.

A later ex-boyfriend of mine was very patient with me and would always assure me that I wasn't gross or "deformed" as I started to say, and would constantly ask me why I would be gross just because my labia were a little big. Then (sorry I'm almost done with my stories before I get to my point) throughout my freshman year of college, I would always say you think I'm weird, you think I'm gross, etc while messing around with someone and they would always act confused and assure me I wasn't and I was still stuck on this then finally this one guy, frustrated with me said, "The only thing that's weird about you is the fact that you think you're weird." And then I realized that maybe he was right and maybe I had been overreacting all this time.

Now, not to say that I'm not self conscious anymore, because I still am, but I realized that confident guys who have actually gotten around and have seen different vaginas realize that there is no normal. This goes for everything...there is no normal and I think people just need to realize that they are who they are and maybe they're not perfect but seriously, who is perfect?

After I became hung up on this idea of being gross and deformed, I haven't had the same intensity or ease of climaxing and I think it's definitely because unconsciously I am stuck on the fact that I'm gross. And I think confidence is what will ultimately turn the other person on, and definitely saying "I'm so gross, etc" will not do anything but kill the moment or make the person look for something that's gross on you if anything.

Anyway, even if there is something about you that isn't considered beautiful by someone, there will be someone else out there that does find you beautiful and ultimately the longest lasting and most loving relationships come when people are themselves and appreciated for who they are.

From Yellow
I'm 16 years of age with a very large uncomfortable labia and have been self conscious about them for god knows how long. It's just hard to do everyday things...walking, sitting, kneeling going to the washroom. It does upset me to the point that I can't function anymore and I am going to get labiaplasty done because I do feel it's the only way I'll be able to think clearly again. 

I know a lot of people will read this and go..why you're only 16 what are you thinking you nut job? But for those who know what it feels like for this to take over your life you know what I'm talking about. I've gone through therapy about my physical appearance for many many many years and I still can't get over it. I'm sooo excited to hear many young girls and women here love their labia it is so lovely to hear! I hope one day I'll be able to love my labia as a lot of you do.


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