Is Cybersex Cheating?

Curious about Cybersex?

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From Matt
I wasn't sure about this until one evening two weeks ago. My wife visited her sister and was away for 3 nights. My wife and I have an active sex life and by the third night I was feeling a little lonely, bored, and a little horny so I decided to view some porn on the net.

I stumbled across a site where people chatted online. I met a girl who had a webcam so we linked up to see each other while we talked. I was happy to see she was a pretty young lady, she said she was 18 so I'll believe her and we agreed to take our clothes off so we could watch each other.

Man, I got so horny watching her, and we agreed to mutual masturbation, which I guess was cyber-sex. It was very erotic, and after she made herself cum and I tossed off, we said goodnight and went offline.

So I'd had cyber-sex with a very pretty and horny young lady who was now nothing but a pleasant memory. She probably does it with lots of guys for kicks. I know I enjoyed it.

My point is this. I don't regard it as any different to watching any other type of porn, so I certainly don't regard it as cheating. Maybe if we kept meeting and did it regularly, it may be different.

I just thought I'd share my story.

From Don
I write from experience. I was the husband that had cybersex while married and I am also the husband whose present wife was having cybersex. I believe that it is not cheating unless it is taking time away from either your spouse, boyfriend or family.

My present wife finally admitted to me that her cybersex was with someone whom she had met before her and I met. I was able to read one of her conversations once when she accidentally left her pc on the chat page. I was very upset because they were reliving in words the times that they were together and had sex. They were very detailed including the way her apartment was decorated at that time. It has been more that 8 years since they have seen each other but I spoke to her and she said that she was doing it for us and was trying to make our marriage more erotic. 

That is all good, except I can only recall one time in which I benefited from their conversation, She has since stopped the cybersex.

From Frank
My wife got her computer about five years ago and for the last two years has had cyber lovers. I have no idea who they are, where they are, what she says to them, what they say to her, but on a number of occasions when she's come to bed at around two in the morning she is so aroused I will wake up to see my cock fully erect and she sucking me off. Once I'm awake she will then climb on me and both of us will enjoy a very erotic fuck.

Has she ever met any of her cyber lovers? I don't know. She travels as part of her job and may well have done. I will never ask, and she will never tell, and the mark on her breast or stomach could easily be the love bite I put there.

From R
I have been having the most wonderful cybersex with a gorgeous lady from Idaho for the past, well, years. She is the most wonderful open and sexually adventurous woman I have ever met and I'm very much in love with her. We have made love via the computer and on the phone countless times and every time is wonderful. One day we are planning to do it for real and I can't wait for that to happen. Cybersex can be so intimate and wonderful and we are able to come together every time.

From Mark
Maybe it is my approach, or wrong expectations...I have sought like minded individuals to share erotica with and have spent many frustrating hours initiating contacts, following up on what appears to be serious inquiries, yet to no avail. I have used various websites but the curious thing is while profiles may say they are looking for erotic email they actually are not.

I enjoy writing erotica, not the mindless, cheap internet crap, but erotica that hopefully touches people where they are...exploring fantasies, passions, deep desires...I want people to feel with the words that I write...the hands upon their body, the warmth of a wet mouth, the feel of a cock as it first enters...

The few people I have been fortunate enough to share with seem genuinely touched or moved by what I write...expressing things I want to hear that tells me that someway they have identified with the story, either the character or characters...the plot, the circumstances...whatever...I have had a few very good erotic email exchanges as a result of people reading my erotica, and I enjoy that intellectual and erotic exchange immensely.

I am by nature an introvert, but the internet provides a forum for me to overcome that aspect of my personality and though to a certain extent the internet is impersonal, it is just that aspect which makes it so wonderful to explore the various erotic fantasies, passions and dreams people would otherwise probably repress, suppress, ignore...much to their loss...it allows us to explore intellectually those things which make up who and what we are...to objectify it, give it form, and allow us to examine it from various angles...and then discard it if we so choose, or take the next step and actualize it within the context of our real, daily life...

I would love to find that special someone, enjoy a relationship of mind, body and soul, but quite frankly I just don't see that happening...maybe through cyber sex, specifically writing erotica and exchanging erotic email, I will stumble across them...My mantra, if you will, is that if you can make me cum with your words, then I know you will with your bod...

What I seek is what I first and foremost want to give, but unfortunately find myself disappointed and frustrated to this point...Maybe someone reading this can point me in the right direction, to a site or someone who shares similar ideas or desires...This certainly appears to be the appropriate forum for such grandiose speculation...

From Tam
Someone said that if cybersex is adultery then so is fantasy and porn. My comment isn't on whether any of these are adultery, but that if r/ship are honest and open then all of the above can (and should) be a shared experience and the question wouldn't even need to be asked.

From a personal perspective and from people I have met on-line I honestly think that the need to cyber indicates something lacking in the 'real' relationship. The excitement? The ability to 'do' things you haven't told your partner you'd like, or a partner unwilling to participate in such things. Total sexual honesty is essential in a relationship and whether that leads to incompatibilities then that is a problem to be worked out.

I am in the enviable position of being in a totally sexually honest relationship (which is also a swinging relationship). There is nothing my partner or I keep from each other about our needs and desires and their fulfillment. When I was unhappily married I had two cyber lover who gave me the eroticism I needed, but also the intimacy I was missing. And yes, I considered I was committing adultery. Now I have it all in one 'real' man and don't need cyber anymore - but if either of us had the inclination towards it, it would be something we would share.

We met on a Personals site and I truly believe that because our relationship started with sex and we didn't feel compelled to hide anything sexually from each other, once we fell in love the openness we already had about that part of our relationship is a big part of what makes our relationship so strong.

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