Impotency

How do you handle it?

Here's a peculiarly male problem, impotency. The older I get, I find heretofore 100 percent reliable parts occasionally let me down. No I ain't talkin' 'bout the Chevy. So, what do you say to her when the pan flashes, but the old musket misfires? Sorry, the powder must be damp?

Any of you guys confident enough to admit to impotency, a system crash in the middle of a performance? Have you ever looked into her eyes, desperately apologetic and mouthed that old chestnut, "Gee, that's never happened before"? Or, did you carry on hoping she didn't notice and pray for an instant 'reboot'?

Ladies, how do you handle impotency? Do you try to be supportive "Aw, Honey, it's okay. It happens." Or, as I was instructed, "You're exhausted. Go to sleep. We'll do it in the morning." Or, have you expressed alarm and disappointment. "What the fuck happened!"  —Bob

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From Jess
I don't handle it well. When it happens I feel inadquate, get grouchy, annoyed with myself and everything and everyone around me. Even the dog shys away.

My wife of 32 years has no issue with my now and then softy, and actually prefers masturbation, oral sex, and has a love affair going with her hitachi magic wand. Magic indeed. The point for her is whatever outside, rather than the 'old in and out' inside. For her, viagra is an abomination. And actually I have to agree. All it does is give me a stiffy, but not the ever important mental lust. What good is a hard-on when the desire to use it is not there.

So ok for her, not so ok for me.

From Rod
Well, Bob, I'd hate to leave you hanging out there all alone - wait, that's not coming out right- wait! Neither is that!

Anyhoo, as we all should all know by now, the brain is the primary sex organ. I believe the loss of reliability that most (I think) men experience in middle age can be attributed primarily to, for lack of a better term, brain farts.

It's not that sex is any less enjoyable as one ages, but it can start to fall into the "been there, done that" category, so it's much more likely that at any time during the act, including smack dab in the middle of it, one may suddenly, inexplicably remember the Visa bill one forgot to mail, for example.

But to answer the question, yeah, it's happened. Of course if I really have something else on my mind, it'll usually manifest itself well before things get underway, but still, it's happened. As I recall, after explaining that it wasn't "her fault", we shrugged it off, and grabbed the ol' vibrator. Hate to leave a job half finished after all.

From Tim
As a 43 year old male, this is a topic that I'd rather not think and talk about. But, there is more than one way to skin a cat. If it does happen, so be it. But my lover will not go unsatisfied that evening. I promise...

From Kogan
I just wanted to say how much this site has helped me figure out what's been going on with me lately. I'm nearly 19 years old and recently found out exactly how embarrassing "going limp" is. I didn't know what was wrong with me, the girl I was with I'd been dating for 6 months and we'd had sex many times before. In retrospect, I realize I had been thinking a lot about unrelated problems and just couldn't let myself relax.

I was afraid that I was suffering a serious problem after it happened the second time a week ago and I was dreading going to my doctor over it. After reading everything posted here, I'm sure it will no longer be a problem for me. Since I know what probably caused it and how some girls react to it, I'll know what to say if it ever happens again. Thank you all for your posts, they've saved me a lot of confusion and heartache.

From Bi-girl
Who cares? As long as the tongue and fingers work, let's get to it baby! And there's always kissing and all that other good stuff too.

From Jim
Perspective of an Older and Honest Male At 60, I am past the point where it's all chalked up to stress at work or being too tired tonight. The sad fact is that my equipment no longer works like it did during my sexual prime. I don't even wake up with a piss hard-on. I can get fully erect, but it takes so much stimulation to reach that point that I am on the razor's edge of orgasm before I'm hard enough to penetrate.

It's amusing how hard (forgive the pun) it is to find men who will admit to such perfectly normal changes of aging. Consider. We have numerous prescription medications that are absolutely necessary to save your life. Yet Viagra, Levitra and Cialis are raking in more $$$ than medicines that are critical to survival.

My watchword is, "When all else fails, use your head." And when I apply that wisdom and spend a long, languid to hot time between her legs lapping away and drinking in her taste and scent, my equipment generally snaps to attention without any need of performance enhancing drugs. And hey, even if it doesn't, she's not complaining!

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