The Global Village
Is it Possible to Find True Love in Cyber-Space?

Is it possible to find true love in cyber space? Perhaps...

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From Tom
I hate to break it to you, Sacred [see entry below], but this guy is stringing you along. If he truly loved you, he would move heaven and earth to at least  meet you. Certainly a girlfriend he claims he no longer loves wouldn't even be an issue.

Don't wait for him, you're wasting your time on that guy. He won't even show-up on a cam, for chrissake. He's got a live in lover, and another (you) online. What do you want with a two-timer like that for? You're selling yourself cheap. Get yourself a guy who really wants to be with you and isn't just jerking off to your lover-like chats or phone calls. 

From Sacred
At first, I too was skeptical. But before I tell my story here is my profile, 30, single and celibate mother of two. I haven’t had a intimate relationship for over 3 years. Met a man online that happen to fit the physical description of the man that I prayed for. He took me by storm; I was not prepared to be wooed by this man. In fact, he is 13 years my senior and I am madly in love with him. 

I met him online about 4 months ago and I desperately want to meet him. Yet, he continues to prolong our visit although he is in love with me also. Last night, he finally revealed to me why he won’t get on the cam. He has a live in girlfriend; not to mention the fact that she has 2 children that are not his. I asked if he loved her and he said "not since I met you." 

Keep in mind that I am far south and he is on the east coast. I totally restructured my business so that I may relocate to be with him. Now I wonder if I will be able to do that considering the girlfriend element. I am so far gone, I will not let go, I love him. I explained to him how lonely I am, here with out him. Still he is putting off meeting for now. He has turned on all of my sensual senses. Yet, when he is not able to get online or call me, I have no one to communicate with. He is quiet possessive and tries to control the elements of me from the computer and the phone. Yet I don’t see this as a problem, I just feel that he has a little jealousy. But so do most lovers. 

I desperately long for him….What should I do? How long shall I wait? What about her?

From Anonymous
My first thoughts on finding love in cyber-space were Ha Ha Ha, how desperate could these people be? In addition, My God what about the horror stories, they are everywhere. 

I started talking in a chat room with a co-worker of mine; she lived 5 miles down the road. We would go to a chat room, and at the same time be on the phone talking about who our next victim would be. My friend and I finally gave up the teasing and actually met in real life, a few nice people from the chat rooms. 

One day an online friend, from another state introduced me to a male chat room friend of hers. He was from the west coast. I hated the man! He was obnoxious, self-centered, and a whiner. However, she was attached to him; and she asked me to keep an eye open on him when she was not in the chat rooms. I was in a generous mood, so I agreed. I would go to the same chat room he was in and ignore him when he talked to me. However, after watching and reporting to my friend, I began to think that he was not so bad after all. I found myself having long conversations with him. Turning on the computer and looking for him in the chat rooms. We soon became a pair in the chat rooms, always together. 

After about 6 months, he asked for my phone number, I was really hesitant, but thought, he’s on the west coast and you're on the east coat, what harm could it cause. He was not the same person in the chat room that he was on the phone. He was a sweet caring man. He flew to the east coast for us to meet. He stayed for 9 days; it was the best 9 days of my life up to that point. On the morning he was flying back to the west, he said "I’m coming back to the east coast to live, either with my family (he has family member here in the east), or with you, "I prefer it to be with you. But I am coming back" 

Four months later he returned, moved in with me, we married two months after that. We are very much in love and have been happily married for four years. Beware women, and men it can happen to you.

From Lita Hentai
I have experienced only the most positive possibilities from online-to-real-life relationships, but I have heard and read many of the horror stories at this site and others. The worst mistake I notice that people make is jumping the gun in these relationships--they decide they are in deeply, emotionally attached and ready to make a commitment before they have spoken to their "lover" for long enough to learn to trust him or her. Often, this seems to happen with people in unsatisfying real life relationships who are eager to find a sympathetic listener. /Particularly/ if a person is unhappy in his or her real life, I would recommend taking online relationships slow and casual.

At the same time, I can vouch for finding love on the Internet. I met my best friend online toward the end of my freshman year in high school--he lived across the country, so we were both interested in each others' respective lifestyles. We talked online and sent emails throughout high school, shared confidences, gave each other advice, and generally grew to trust each other with our most personal secrets--all on a "good friend" level.

Five and a half years later, both of us halfway through college, we finally decided it was about time to meet in person over the summer! He came out west for a week, and I visited his east coast residence, but most importantly, we completely realized our feelings for each other (and got to experience just how compatible we are together in person). We know that we'll be confined to short visits for some time, but hopefully things will work out for us.

P.S. I wish the best of luck to anyone engaging in an online, long distance relationship, and if anyone knows someone who could get me a scholarship to an English graduate school program at a university in New England, I would really appreciate it. Thanks.

From Debbie
I thought that I would be the LAST person on the planet who would or could fall for someone in cyber-space, but I did. I have heard all sorts of stories about the Internet & chat rooms, so I avoid them like the plague. However, I check the message boards every now & then. The wonderful part about the Internet is that you do get to meet people from all over the world.

I happen to come across a message just saying that "looking for new friends", etc. So I answered him and we started to correspond. He told me all about himself. And I mean all about himself. He's Indian, but his job keeps him in the Middle East. But without coming in any sort of physical contact with this man, he is the best lover that I have ever had.

Sexually, we are on the same page and he has a sexual appetite that would rival any 16 year old. He calls me once a week and for my b-day, he sent me a 24kt gold necklace. Because of the time difference, we have cybersex twice a day. I have told him that because he is married, he is off limits to me. I can only have "this much" of him. I do wish I could have him in the physical sense, but I do find this a lot more gratifying. It has gone beyond just the computer. He is a wonderful, wonderful man. I do envy his wife.

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