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Inside the Erotic Mind

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Age and Sex
Like fine wine or vinegar?


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From Lilith
Faking it. I am now a pro. I know that some think that faking is wrong. I love sex, in fact I have always loved it. Nevertheless, the truth of the matter is that I have been faking for years, since the onset of sex.

Why? For exactly the same reason most women do. To make their men feel good about themselves. The truth is that the pressure of having an orgasm takes all of the fun out of sex. My ex and I, at the beginning use to search for this orgasm, and it use to ruin sex. Finally I told him one day that I refuse to have him poke and prod my body in hopes of eliciting said response. After that I had some of my most memorable moments of great sex. It did not matter that I did not orgasm. Don't get me wrong that does not mean a man should just get on and hump until they get their rocks off without any effort of pleasing me, but it does mean that I am completely okay with good sex minus an orgasm.

From Jen
I must wholeheartedly disagree with the idea that a man can tell when a woman’s faking it.  I'm not saying there aren't some men who can tell, but I assure you, many men cannot.  When I confessed to one boyfriend I had faked it, he growled at me and said, "You're a liar!  You're a liar!"  Later on, when we'd gotten back together, after having sex he sarcastically commented, "Faking it, hah!"  Some men's egos can't take it.

From Amanda
My husband claimed he could always tell when a woman faked an orgasm. Once with my husband and another lover, I did a DP (double penetration). The lover was in my cunt, my husband was in my ass. It was a great experience but there's no way I was going to come and the 25-year old lover wasn't going to either, unless I did, so I faked. Neither of them knew. Afterward, I told my husband and he was very surprised. I don't fake with my husband, because there's no need, but I've faked it with many men and they don't know it, never could know it. It's easy to make your cunt spasm (use your kegel muscles) to draw them in. I’m always very moist, so it seems like cum to them. One guy told me cunt lips get cold during orgasm, so that's how he knew I had an orgasm. Yeah right.

From Anonymous
Dear, dear Cervo, how can men tell? (see Cervo's entry below) Not all women spurt when they climax. Not all women have the kind of clenching muscle spasms we here are so fond of writing about. Trust me, darlin', faking it can be quite easy for many of us.

From Cervo
Men are not nearly as stupid as they seem.  They can tell if you come just as you can tell if they do. I think many say nothing because they feel they have failed.  You may too, or you may not have been interested in coming just then, so much as the prolonged sensation of whatever you were doing.  It would be much nicer to say that than to fake an orgasm.  It leaves hurt feelings, unhappy uncertainty and a sense of being somehow oddly duped.

From Ravenwoman
I do not come from penetration or intercourse alone, as much as I love, love, love it, I am a clitoral gal when it comes to orgasm, though I have come close a few times, but it is a different sensation, still fantastic, but not the same degree of release. I must have some clit and nipple stimulation during intercourse to come. Although it was always my dream to come with him inside me, I think that is a "myth" of sorts; the whole simultaneous orgasm from intercourse alone, at least it is a myth for many women, and can make them feel inadequate if they can't, as do I).

I can understand the experience of just wanting it to be over and not wanting to hurt the man's feelings. That would be a tough call. If you don't have the degree of communication and mutual trust and security to be able to tell him and assure him it is ok and then let him "get his", I can see the temptation to fake it. I just don't feel that's a sound basis for any potential future intimacy.

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