Clit Notes
Playing It Her Way

Women:  how do you like your clit played with and what is your clit like? How do you tell a lover during sex, without making him/her feel weird that the technique being used isn't working and to try other things?

Some of my lovers jingle on my clit like it's a bell. It doesn't work for me. My clit is buried far in. It's not very big, but can become extremely sensitive. I have this theory that men often approach a clit as if it's a wee penis they're trying to jerk off.

My husband is very good at clit play. He doesn't treat mine as a bell, but rather surrounds it with two fingers, and allows me to move myself against them. I like a slow, steady rhythm. Then he puts another finger inside me and I place my little vibe on top of my clit. That works. It takes a lovely, languorous time, but it is worth it. And of course he often adds his tongue to the mix. Which is fab-u-lous.

I'm just curious about how others enjoy and approach clit play.   —Amanda

I never once heard the word clitoris. It would be years before I learned that females possessed the only organ in the human body with no function other than to feel pleasure.    —Eve Ensler, The Vagina Monologues

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From G.G.
My favorite way to play with my clit is with my lover's big penis. His head is the size of a small plum, very delicious.  I'll place it right on my aroused clit, I'll move it, slide it up and down, and around, until I'm super wet. Then, I'll climb on top of him, and keep arousing myself by grinding and grinding until I have an orgasm. 

I'm not done, though, then I'll place the head just outside the wall of my vagina, right on my G-spot, and I'll play with it some more until he begs to penetrate me, then he'll fuck me silly, and I'll have peeled another two or three orgasms by then.

From Lilith
I have a small clit and cannot reach climax through its stimulation. I actually had my hood pierced and this didn't, as I was told it would, help with achieving orgasm. In fact, when I went to get my hood piercing the guys, (yes there were multiple who wanted to pierce me and watch me be pierced) mentioned that my hood was almost too small to pierce.

I have found that over stimulation of my small clit, can be painful and unbearable. Perhaps, I am frigid. Because I actually have to push some away if they have at it for too long. Kind of like sticking my clit in a light socket. Perhaps I don't orgasm because I don't allow them to continue but, my body will not allow me, to allow them the pleasure of torturing me, so I am at a loss of orgasms. I cannot even bring myself through masturbation to climax, in fact I have only ever climaxed through the actual act of penetration of a real penis during sex. In truth only one person has brought me to climax, and it was never a sure thing.

In truth, I think the lack of my own orgasms have to do with my partners. I don't mean to blame them but I think I need to stop picking conservatives. I like it a little rough. I dont mind a nip or a bite even if that area. In fact, I think if it were to be done on a moderate level, no blood, then I would come. But most of the guys I date won't get that kinky, not that I think it kinky at all. A bite to them barely even leaves and impression.

The best head I ever received was not when the guy focused on the clitoris alone but kissed my vagina as if he were kissing my mouth. Pulling my lips into his mouth and sucking them as one does the bottom lip of their lovers mouth. Even allowing me to feel the scrap of his teeth. This I found terribly exciting and a lot better then the ABCs that men are now so fond of.

From Bob
A couple of techniques that have worked for me:

- Man behind woman (usually sitting on a pillow or a bed rail); goes into vagina and reaches around to play with the clit.

- Woman lays on back, man at 90% angle; man enters and plays with the clit from the side.

- Just lay alongside and play with the clit; when she comes she can jump on you.

- Edge of bed: you can put her up on pillow if bed is not high enough; she plays with the clit, you enter and use your hands to stroke everywhere else.

My wife likes a circular motion around the head of the clit. She says thats her favorite motion. She also likes the fact that my fingers are bigger than hers and that the experience is more random than when she does it.

Women are like the most exquisite musical instruments ever invented; all instruments require practice the more you practice, the better you become and there is no instrument more fun to practice on! Don't worry if you don't get it right away she'll tell you

From Carly
I have a rather large clit and I love to have it sucked - really hard. It then swells up even bigger and at the end of a really good sex session will protrude beyond my vagina lips. As I never wear knickers - this is really sexy and my partner likes to feel it in public!

When having sex, my partner likes to suck on my clit while ass-fucking me with his fingers. When he judges that I'm ready for the really big "O" (after loads of little ones!) he shoves 4 fingers in my ass and bites down on my clit! I go through the roof and the orgasm can last for ages. The amount of cum I produce is amazing.

From Prairieyoni
My clitoris, which is about average size, is entirely covered by the hood and it never protrudes unless I pull the hood right back. I like a variety of different touches, including a circular motion right on the exposed clitoris and a stroking action very much like jerking off, starting at the base of the clitoris and rubbing upward and downward with a finger on either side of my clitoris. But my favorite is very hard rubbing on the left side of the hood. 

Sucking is exquisite, and a tongue flicking over my exposed clitoris is also very pleasurable. Sometimes I use a vibrator during masturbation, usually with my hood pulled back and my bare clit against the vibrator, and my clitoris certainly responds, but the orgasms just aren't as good as when it's fingers or a tongue. Since I got my vertical hood piercing it has become possible to sometimes reach orgasm just from stroking my inner lips or rubbing my vulva vigorously.

When I'm not getting what I need I sometimes use fingers to guide my partner, or other times I simply ask, saying something like, "That feels okay, but could you try THIS, please?"

From Beth
My clit is a shy thing that doesn't like to be accosted vigorously. It likes to be invited out to play politely and with restraint. Once it trusts the playmate, it enjoys a broader range of activity. My clit is very much an extension of me.

Harder is not better. If it is over-stimulated, it gets bored and goes home. This leaves the owner profoundly unhappy, I must say.

If one game isn't working, I usually suggest another or take over the game myself. I have not yet met a man or woman that doesn't like watching a woman pleasure herself. It takes the pressure off a particular situation and actually allows both people to regroup and reestablish a sexual connection.

My clit likes tongues a lot. Sucking, licking, swirling. . .whatever. The nice thing about a tongue is it's gentle by nature and anatomy. Still, if someone tries to use their tongue like a floor polisher (too hard, too fast) I'll gently suggest altering the pace.

With my husband, if we are in a mood and I am REALLY ready to go, I will let him get nasty with it. . .a little whack perhaps. He is the only one who gets to do that because I trust him to know when that is appropriate. However, when it is. . .holy cow. . .blows my mind.

Over all, nothing beats a nice gentle finger. . .mine or someone else's. At heart and centre, I'm a simple girl.

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