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Inside the Erotic Mind

This Month's Hot Topic

Remember Your Best Orgasm?
Tell us about it

On-Going Forums


Blasphemous Fantasies
Why are they so titillating?

Could You, Would You?
3 fantasies to try on

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Talk with your tongue

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Swallow or Spit
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The Taste of Cum
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Describe Your Orgasm
How Does it Feel? Don't be Shy...

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Why the deception?

Harnesses & Dildos...Oh My!
Pegging your partner

Oral Sex or Intercourse?
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Keeping Abreast..

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Erotic Lactation
Your thoughts?

Male Nipple Play
Men, are you into it?

Relationship Woes

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Is the grass really greener?

Younger/Older Relationships
It's complicated...or is it?

Inquiring Minds

Women: During The Act
What do you think about?

Men: During The Act
What do you think about?

What do Women Want's not size

What do Men Want rhymes with 'vex'

Clit Notes

Playing It Her Way

Clit playWomen, how do you like your clit played with? How do you tell a lover, without making him/her feel uncomfortable, that the technique being used isn't working and to try other things? Some of my lovers jingle my clit like it's a bell. It doesn't work for me. I have this theory that men often approach a clit as if it's a wee penis they're trying to jerk off.

My husband is very good at clit play. He doesn't treat mine as a bell, but rather surrounds it with two fingers, and allows me to move myself against them. I like a slow, steady rhythm. Then he puts another finger inside me and I place my little vibe on top of my clit. That works. It takes a lovely, languorous time, but it is worth it. And of course he often adds his tongue to the mix. Which is fab-u-lous. I'm just curious about how others enjoy and approach clit play.   —Amanda

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From Anonymous
My wife of 37 years is a connoisseur of clitoris play. She taught me precisely what she enjoyed, and it has never failed us.  When she was dating, many of her boyfriends went down on her, which was pleasurable for her but didn't result in orgasm.  (She hadn't had any orgasm thus far.) but she knew something was supposed to happen.  Her boyfriends benefited greatly, because she became very skilled at giving oral in return for their efforts.

Finally, when she taught herself to masturbate to orgasm, she could teach her guys what she needed. And when I got together with her, she taught me what she needed.  When I go down on her, unfailingly she comes 4 to 8 times with my tongue... Hard, thrashing, claw-at-the-sheets orgasms.

And it's not just me:  occasionally we play with other couples, and I've seen her, after a few words of instruction to the other man, come with his tongue just as much and just as powerfully.

Men who listen to their partner, take instructions, and focus on her pleasure, will please her.

From Anonymous
My clit needs some time. Use long, languishing strokes on my lips until I'm squirming and moaning. Then and only then, touch my clit. And please don't tongue it - suck it. That's the best thing for me. Same with my nipples - don't tongue it (why do guys always want to tongue things?) - suck it. It is so much more pleasurable!

From Erica
My clit loves to get spanked and then chewed on. I love when it gets sucked and my partner's mouth covers all that clit and inner lips, moving his head up and down clit in mouth. Licking it and sucking on it until I can't take it no more! Can I say Oh YEAH! I love to hear the munch sound when he chews on it! It turn me more on!

From Anonymous
My boyfriend always fingers me but I have better orgasms when he directly touches my clit. Wetness on my clit is amazing I do figure 8s on it or just circles and when I'm alone and horny I lay on my stomach and take my index and middle finger and rub against my clit and I do different speeds to prolong and make the orgasm 10 times better. Ky warming jelly is amazing! [other warming lube options include: K-Y Intense Arousal Gel, and Blossom Organics Warm Sensation]

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