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Is it possible to find true love in cyber-space?

Is it possible to find true love in cyber space? Perhaps...

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From Sister Midnight
I have to throw in my skeptical two pence here. The one thing that's important to me in both sexual relationships as well as friendships is honesty. And that's the problem I have with people on-line. You never know who you're really talking to on the Internet. They could be lying to you about their gender, sexual orientation, likes and dislikes, personal philosophies and beliefs, and everything else. You have to take their word for it, and trust them to tell you the truth of who they are IRL.

And quite frankly, why should I trust some complete stranger halfway across the world to tell me the truth about him- or herself? It's not that I care much whether they say who they are (what's it to me, after all? I have my own life here, and my own friends and lover), I'm just saying that I do not get emotionally involved with people I meet on-line. I simply enjoy having conversations and debates with them, purely on an intellectual basis.

So if you combine my views on cybersex and on emotional involvement with people on the Internet, you can probably imagine that I don't believe in 'cyber love'. The whole concept of "falling in love" with somebody you don't even know, or have never met, seems entirely ludicrous to me.

From Expanding Mind
This topic interests me greatly because I have been chatting with a woman in Thailand for over two months. I will give you some background information first: I have been married for 17 years and have 3 children. I love my family and will not leave my wife. We could have a little more spark in our love life, but it is not bad either. The woman I have met online is single and 13 years younger than me (she is 29). She works in a health care clinic there and because of the time difference (12 hours), I usually chat with her from 11 PM to 2 to 4 AM.

Neither of us discussed love or sex...the chats we have had have centered around differences in cultures, what our lives are like, our work, our vacations, etc. I have sent pictures of myself, leaves changing colors, my workplace, Halloween and Thanksgiving decorations, etc. She has sent pictures of herself, her workplace, Buddhist temples, and surrounding countryside. Intellectually, our conversations are very stimulating and we share similar senses of humor and interest in various things. We consider ourselves close friends. If we could meet, I would, but I would be a little afraid of what might happen if we did. It is probably good we live, literally, on opposite sides of the Earth. If I was single, I would probably fly there to meet her if she was willing, which I think she would be. I do not know how this will end, but I do know that it has broadened my horizons regarding differences in cultures. With the internet, it really is a Global Village.

From Ana
After a week of heavy flirting with a sexy New Yorker on-line, I am now depressed and desperate. My cyber talks with this man yes gave me a lot of pleasure, many laughs, and re-awakened my sexuality but (there's usually a BUT) these talks made me realise how empty my marriage is. I haven't spoken to Mr NY for a couple of days (time differences, work, maybe he's just avoiding me...) and am suffering withdrawal symptoms: insomnia, my heart feels broken, I've started smoking, I've lost at least a kilo from running back and forth to the computer to check if he's on-line. It's ridiculous - I've become obsessed with this person who lives on the other side of the earth from me.

From Rob in Euless
I met my current and all-time love online during the early days of AOL. She was a Long Island divorcee and I was a Texas-based BBS operator. She wandered onto AOL looking for friendly diversions and I was there leaching files for my system's callers and avoiding a sexually devoid marriage at the time. We met in a series of chatrooms, liked each others' banter and took it to the next step. It worked and I dismissed my spouse from my heart (with many regrets) immediately. Almost 12 years later (more than twice as long as the span of my marriage) we're together, very much in love and engaged to be married. Neither of us wanted the road it took to be together and at times it has been a tough road to travel. However, each obstacle has been something we have overcome together and I cannot separate her from even the most simplest of plans or thoughts. Do online-based relationships have merit? In my case, I have to say yes.

From Jenna
It is not only possible to find love through internet interaction, I contend that it is likely. I fell in love with a guy I met online. I truly fell in love with him; first his mind, then everything else. And he fell in love with me. Too bad I wasn't completely honest with him about who I was. To make a long story short, I lied to him. (Who hasn't pretended to be someone they're not in chatroom encounters?  Role playing is fun.) But everything I told him about me was true with the exception that it all had taken place 10 years before. Everything I shared with him was from my life back then. It was fun and exciting to  revisit my past and to embellish things a bit, just to live out fantasies about how I would have liked my life to have been different 10 years ago.

Everything would have been fine IF we hadn't fallen in love. This was a particularly sticky situation as I have been  married for 10 years now. I love my husband dearly and had no intention of leaving him for anyone else...including Mr. Internet. But I was wholly compelled to not only meet my internet love, but to consummate our relationship...and we did, indeed consummate our relationship. He never suspected that I wasn't who I said I was. And the time we had together was very special.

Aside from  the guilt I've experienced (infidelity and lying, to name  but two reasons), I now have the daunting task of somehow getting out of this relationship (the internet one) without really hurting this guy. I can't be with him: he believes me to be someone I'm not. The truth would crush him. AND there's the little detail that I'm married.

Now that I've left the confessional, let me hop up on my soapbox for a minute, if I may. Internet love is a very tricky proposition. People tell you what they want you to believe about themselves, and you can never be sure that it's the entire truth until you meet the person and spend time with him/her. As in my case, even meeting the person doesn't guarantee true enlightenment with regard to the other person. I only want to say be careful! Guard your hearts by using your heads. It's easy to fall in love through internet interaction because you're really getting to know someone: their thoughts, feelings, convictions, etc. And that's the person we truly fall in  love with; not just the physical person. But be wary of someone who seems "too perfect." Chances are if someone seems too perfect to be true, then he/she IS too perfect to be true. If love is your objective, I say you'll experience fewer complications if you stick to those within your own village, rather than the global village.

From Debbie
I thought that I would be the LAST person on the planet who would or could fall for someone in cyber-space, but I did. I have heard all sorts of stories about the Internet personals & chat rooms, so I avoid them like the plague. However, the wonderful part about the Internet is that you do get to meet people from all over the world. I happen to come across a message just saying that "looking for new friends", etc. So I answered him and we started to correspond. He told me all about himself. And I mean all about himself. He's Indian, but his job keeps him in the Middle East. But without coming in any sort of physical contact with this man, he is the best lover that I have ever had.

Sexually, we are on the same page and he has a sexual appetite that would rival any 16 year old. He calls me once a week and for my b-day, he sent me a 24kt gold necklace. Because of the time difference, we have cybersex twice a day. I have told him that because he is married, he is off limits to me. I can only have "this much" of him. I do wish I could have him in the physical sense, but I do find this a lot more gratifying. It has gone beyond just the computer. He is a wonderful, wonderful man. I do envy his wife.

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