The Orgasm Answer Guide

by Barry Komisaruk, Beverly Whipple, and Carlos Beyer-Flores

Book Review by Rob Hardy

In 2006, three academic researchers, Barry Komisaruk, Beverly Whipple, and Carlos Beyer-Flores, brought out The Science of Orgasm, a serious book of physiological and psychological research published by the Johns Hopkins University Press.  That publisher has now issued the authors’ new book (in which they are joined by co-author Sara Nasserzadeh), one that is still strong on science but is aimed at the curious lay reader (and who isn’t curious about orgasms?).  The Orgasm Answer Guide reminded me a little of Dr. David Reuben’s waggish best seller from 1971, Everything You Always Wanted to Know About Sex but Were Afraid to Ask, in that this book uses the question and answer format (starting off with “What are orgasms?”).  The answers here, however, are grounded in the science displayed in the previous volume, and while there is sympathetic good humor, this is a serious, informative book.  The eighty questions are the sorts of queries a therapist might hear in a session; while a patient might not come in and ask, “What are orgasms?”, Nasserzadeh has said that she gets queries from women who don’t know if they have orgasms or what orgasms “ought” to feel like.  Dr. Reuben may not have added a lot to our cumulative sexual IQ, but here is a book on a specific facet of sexual behavior, backed by the most up-to-date research.

Because the book is based on science, there are a lot of “We don’t know” answers.  That’s OK; sometimes the questions have philosophical underpinnings that cut right to the heart of epistemology.  For instance, “Do men and women have the same sensations during orgasm?”  You can’t feel my orgasm and I can’t feel yours; how would we ever know about equivalence?  So, no, we don’t know the answer, but the interesting part is that we might have evidence pointing in the right direction.  Basic hardware for orgasm includes a penis for a man and a clitoris for a woman, and these organs come from the same tissue in developing embryos, and they are wired by the same nerves, so it isn’t wrong to suspect that sensations would be similar.  In an interesting experiment, students were asked to write descriptions of their own orgasms, and after gender-specific words were made neutral, judges were asked to read each description and declare whether it had come from a man or a woman.  It turned out that the judges were not able to do so accurately. 

But penis and clitoris hardware are not essential for orgasms.  Under “Are there really ‘nongenital’ orgasms?”, the authors show a picture of the famous statue by Bernini of St. Teresa in ecstasy, saying that her expression suggests orgasm to some people, but that other people refute any such association.  Whether St. Teresa got off in this way or not, some people do indeed have documented orgasms during meditation or prayer (though it seems unlikely that any mainstream denomination will be claiming this as an advantage).  Epileptic seizures can trigger orgasm, and there was one epileptic woman who had them when she brushed her teeth.  Some people, if they have partners who will stimulate the right body part in just the right way, can have orgasms, and the right part might not be a typical erogenous zone but might be a shoulder or toe.  “Phantom” orgasms can be felt during sleep by people who have had spinal injuries and have no nerve connection to the genitals.

The authors side with researchers who have found that female ejaculation really happens.  It doesn’t happen for every woman, and women who do ejaculate don’t do it for every orgasm.  The ejaculate is not urine, but a chemically different liquid, and there isn’t much of it, typically a teaspoonful.  It’s a normal, not extraordinary, process.  There are many women who want to ejaculate, and many of their men who are interested in helping them, and there are books and websites that purport to give directions, but the authors say, “We are aware of no credible evidence that women can learn to control this process.” 

What good does orgasm do?  Well, it seems that besides being fun and causing a resultant buoying of mood, orgasms are good for us.  It isn’t that they burn calories; a mere orgasm burns just two or three, although something like fifty calories might be burned in all the muscular activity in a coital session.  (It is well known that men get sleepy after an orgasm, but no one knows why.  It isn’t the physical exertion, because joggers can burn up a lot more calories during the time that would be typical for coitus, and they don’t feel sleepy but rather energized.)  Men who had eight or more orgasms per month lived longer than those who had less than one a month (though perhaps men with better health had more sexual gumption).  The more orgasms a man has, the less likely he is to have prostate cancer.  Orgasms, especially those from stimulation of the G spot, can help block pain.  The authors themselves do not find the G spot controversial, but admit that not all researchers concur that such a thing exists.  They caution that no one ought to get frustrated if the G spot cannot be found or does not produce excitement.  As if we need other goals, they describe the even more controversial (and, one assumes, more elusive) U spot and A spot.  Happy hunting.

The authors devote almost a full page to genital piercing names and descriptions, like the “Prince Albert”, and the “Reverse Prince Albert” through a man’s urethral openings, or the “Triangle” that pierces the clitoral sheath and anterior labia minora.  Such piercings are said to increase orgasm rate or intensity, but there is no good documentation that this is so.  Besides the usual warnings that piercings might cause scar tissue that obstructs the urethra or might spread hepatitis, the authors include two risks I had not thought of: “a partner choking on swallowed piercings, and tooth damage.”

This is a short book on a vital subject, a grab bag of facts that are sometimes funny, sometimes strange, sometimes useful, and sometimes all three.  I thought the very best part was in the answer to “Is there too much emphasis on ‘achieving’ orgasm in some cultures?”  Movie and TV depictions of satisfactory sex typically show buildup, mutual orgasm, and relaxation, but this is not a realistic standard.  Indeed, the authors explain that they have been careful though this text on how they have referred to the process of having orgasms.  They explain that many researchers use terms like “generate” or “induce” orgasm, but those are too coldly scientific for a book like this.  Other writers might speak of how to “attain” or “achieve” orgasm, but this gives the impression that orgasm is a goal to be striven for, and that there is some degree of failure if that goal is not met, and perhaps a resultant feeling of frustration or resentment.  Forget about that; the authors here use “experience” orgasm as a thoughtfully-chosen neutral word, even though they admit it might be a bit passive, for you may not want to just lie back and “experience,” you might want to be bouncing yourself around somehow.  It’s a good lesson in the importance of the influence of the choice of words, even if it is paradoxical; after all, sex can certainly be enjoyable before an orgasm happens, or even without an orgasm, but this is not The Orgasmless Answer Guide.

Rob Hardy
May-June 2010

The Orgasm Answer Guide
(Johns Hopkins University Press, November 2009; ISBN-10: 0801893968)
Available at: Amazon | Amazon UK

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© 2010 Rob Hardy. All rights reserved. Content may not be copied or used in whole or part without written permission from the author.

About the Reviewer: 
Rob Hardy is a psychiatrist who lives in Columbus, Mississippi, with his wife, two terriers, five cats, and goldfish.

He reviews nonfiction for The Times of Acadiana, but has been reviewing books as a hobby for years before that.
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