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'09 Authors Insider Tips

Everything About Epublishing
by Angela James
Digital Publishing & Print
Common Myths of Epublishing
Ebook Formats and Devices

by Louisa Burton
Compelling Characters
Point of View, Part I
Point of View, Part II
Learning to Love Conflict
Story Structure
Keep ‘em Guessing
Keep it Simple
Keep Your Writing Real
The Importance of Pacing

Literary Streetwalker
by M. Christian
New World of Publishing
To Blog Or Not To Blog
Meeting & Making Friends
Thinking Beyond Sex
Selling Books
Walking the Line
e-book, e-publisher, e-fun
Still More E-book Fun

Shameless Self-Promotion
by Donna George Storey
Our Journey Begins
Pitches and Bios
Websites, Blogs & Readers
Publicists, Press Kits and...
Viva the Internet
Adventures in Cyberspace
Promoting In the Flesh
Make Your Own Movie
Bigger is Better
Looking Back, Planning Ahead

Two Girls Kissing
by Amie M. Evans
Questions to Ask Yourself...
Tough All Over

The Write Stuff
by Ashley Lister
Practice Makes Prefect
5 Books for Fiction Authors
Poetry In Motions
Six Serving Men
Ashley Lister is Anal
Stealing Ideas
Celebrating Poetry

2009 Smutters Lounge

Ashley Lister Submits
by Ashley Lister

Cooking Up A Storey
by Donna George Storey
A Year of Living Shamelessly
Adultery, Exhibitionism ...
John Updike Made Me Do It ...
Story Soup: Forbidden ...
Lessons from Amazon
Naked Lunches ...
Erotic Alchemy
Secrets of Seduction
Are You a “Real” Writer?
Don’t Fondle My Sentence

Cracking Foxy
with Robert Buckley
The Passionate Taphophile
Havens on Earth
A Knight Without Armor
Magic Carpet Rides
Getting Hammered
Keep It Quiet
Hang Around for a Spell

Get All Worked Up
with J.T. Benjamin
Worked Up About Why
Worked Up About Why, Part II
All Worked Up About Porn
The Catholic Church
Purity Movement
The National Crisis
The Future
About Homosexuality
Public Indiscretions

Pondering Porn
with Ann Regentin
Premature Ejaculation
Auctioning Off What?

Sex Is All Metaphors
by Jean Roberta
Who's Who Around the Table
Ritual Sex
Mixed Legacy
The Spectrum of Consent
Drawing the Line
Marriage without the Hype
The Distracting Smirk
Innocent Guns
Gardens of Earthly Delights

Provocative Interviews

Between the Lines
with Ashley Lister
Anneke Jacob
D L King
Kristina Lloyd
Lisabet Sarai
Mitzi Szereto
Portia Da Costa
Shanna Germain
Sommer Marsden
Susan DiPlacido

Guest Appearances

Marketing a Self-Published Novel
by Jeanne Ainslie

Sex Is All Metaphors

by Jean Roberta

Innocent Guns:
Male Violence as a Concealed Weapon


My twenty-something stepson has spent a lot of time (relative to his age) in bars as a disc jockey and a drummer with several local bands. Last month, he told his mom and me about a delicious Scottish beer he had recently discovered between sets. He said its distinct flavor comes from the oak barrels in which it is stored. Its name sounded distinct as well, like that of some post-musical band: "Innocent Gun." By the time Stepson offered me a bottle labeled "Innis & Gunn," the name I heard had triggered (so to speak) a train of thought in my mind.

I could imagine an advertising campaign aimed at a newly-(re)discovered male demographic, the Innocent Gun crowd. These would be the guys who accept and even revel in a self-image as human weapons, naturally aggressive and likely to fire whenever jostled by a stimulus outside themselves. Yet they object to being described as assailants or even "at-risk" for committing assault. They insist on their right to be presumed innocent until proven guilty. If accused of acts of violence, they discredit the accuser or complain about being victims of a personal vendetta or a "male-bashing" conspiracy. If convicted in court, they rail about the corruption of the legal system. 

Now that I can look back on roughly forty years of discussions with male acquaintances about male violence, particularly sexual violence, I am tempted to reach for a calming beer. When young Second Wave feminists first launched educational campaigns about rape (as it was legally defined) and the less-extreme forms of sexual coercion generally defined as harassment, the guys we knew (including Significant Others) often responded with a stunning lack of logic. They assured us that they were good guys, not oppressors of women, and that they were opposed to "real rape." They wanted us to trust them, and they warned us not to be the kind of cold, lonely women who couldn't trust men. They reminded us that “Men Are Not the Enemy.”
The guys we knew usually claimed to value human rights as much as we did, and probably more. They thought it unfair for men alone to be held responsible for men's behavior, especially when it involved women. They patiently explained to us that men have a "male sex drive" which is instinctive and not under men's individual control.

After telling me that trust is essential in all human relationships, many of the guys I knew in my teens and twenties came surprisingly close to echoing my parents' warnings that all men who still had functioning "sex drives" were heterosexual predators looking for opportunities to "take advantage" of girls like me by having unprotected sex with us whether we wanted it or not. Everyone I knew expected me to get married and have children some day, yet most advisors warned me that guys of my generation had no interest in "settling down" (i.e. if I got pregnant, I would have to deal with this on my own).

If a guy leaned out his car window to yell something sexual at me as I walked down a street at any time of day, I learned not to ask male "friends" for an explanation later. In most cases, the explanation included at least one of these points, and usually a smorgasbord: 1) Whatever was yelled, even if it sounded threatening, was a normal, healthy response to the spectacle of a young woman "flaunting her body," 2) "Flaunting" is an expression of contempt for males, intended to arouse and frustrate them, 3) "Flaunting" is an expression of feminine masochism (a reference to Freud was often used to clinch this point), 4) I was walking down the wrong street, and I should have known better, and 5) I probably imagined the whole episode (females are delusional). On one occasion, Point #5 was expressed by my male faculty advisor when I was working on my Master's thesis. Before this conversation, he had encouraged me to believe I had the makings of a literary scholar.

In forty years, some aspects of the Innocent Gun Theory have changed, while some have not. The harsh tradition of blaming and punishing female victims of male violence seems to have given way—at least in urban Western society—to a system of belief and response that has been criticized as "victim feminism." While male victims of violence still receive little widespread support, women who are physically or sexually abused in cities have access to counselling, emergency housing, non-judgmental medical care and legal advocacy that did not exist before. Women in our culture are now so often generically referred to as passive victims of harm that expressions of female rebellion and sexual aggression (Riot Grrls, butch dykes and femme Dommes as cultural icons) have arisen in contrast to a boneless image of women that has become mainstream.

What hasn't changed is the standard use of the passive voice in media descriptions of male violence against women. We all know that some women "get attacked" in various ways (even if they no longer get themselves attacked), in large numbers in wars and individually in "peacetime." Women also get abducted, confined, beaten, mutilated, and sometimes killed. The perpetrators are rarely defined.

The public at large is urged to be concerned about the problem of violence against women, which sounds remarkably like a natural disaster or the spread of breast cancer. Supposedly objective news items about violence against women evoke bizarre images: females of various ages, sizes and races in states of undress and distress for no obvious reason.

The assailants are usually invisible in verbal reports, and rarely defined as men. Sometimes the assault is credited to "a gang of youths," or "armed forces." Individual assailants are usually described as "alleged," sometimes even after a legal conviction. Self-defined survivors of sexual assault who appear on talk shows are routinely asked whether they are sure about what really happened. (Apparently females are still delusional, though more entitled to sympathy now than when we "flaunted" with sinister intent.)

In the 21st-century West, spokespeople from publicly-visible gay/lesbian/bisexual/transgender communities have declared androgyny to be the new norm, and announced the end of gender as we used to think of it. Mutually satisfying and cathartic "rape" scenes in a context of consensual Dominance and submission are often acted out and described in print. Yet it seems the Middle Ages are not over, even here. We live in a world where old-fashioned, nonconsensual male violence against women soldiers on.   

The Congo is currently one of the world's hot spots for sexual violence against women in a context of war. In a recent visit, U.S. Secretary of State Hilary Clinton was disturbed by the damage she saw. International attention seems likely to draw aid to the victims, and the need for this is relatively uncontroversial.

The status of the perpetrators is a different case. As Jackson Katz explains in an article in the Huffington Post,* they are largely missing from news reports. If it's still not acceptable to say that women (and children, and men who are targeted for feminizing humiliation) get raped in war because men rape them, how likely is it that the perpetrators will ever be convicted of crimes?

There is really no such thing as an Innocent Gun. (And the beer that inspired this thread is just a tasty drink. Even excessive amounts of it don't have the power to make anyone do anything.) I can’t believe that males (my stepsons? my daughter’s husband? my little grandson? my “brothers” in the GLBT community?) were created by a violent god to be human weapons. Those who function that way have made a conscious choice, for which they should be held accountable.

Logic is a quality I value, regardless of which gender is assigned to it. At the risk of being called a pathological extremist (again), I'm inclined to draw a conclusion which seems more rational than diplomatic. Logic tells me that no one can be both innocent and violent, and that neither those who impose their will on others by force nor their defenders can seriously expect to be trusted.

Logic tells me further that the “culture of impunity” in which mass violence flourishes in the Congo exists to some extent even in societies that are not officially at war. Wherever the Innocent Gun Theory is accepted, and where victimhood is assumed to be the fate of womankind, love can only survive in the cultural margins, and peace can only be an illusion.

*"Men Missing in News Coverage of Sexual Violence in Congo," Huffington Post, August 22, 2009 -

Jean Roberta
October 2009

If you have comments or questions about this column, please send them to Jean Roberta

Follow Jean Roberta's trail to Sex Is All Metaphors in 2009 ERWA Archive.

"Sex Is All Metaphors" © 2009 Jean Roberta. All rights reserved. Content may not be copied or used in whole or part without written

About the Author: Jean Roberta is the thin-disguise pen name of a writer who teaches mandatory first-year English classes in a Canadian prairie university and who writes fiction (erotic and otherwise), research-based articles, opinion pieces and reviews. She joined ERWA in December 1998, and has never looked back. Several of her stories can be found in the "Treasure Chest" gallery. Over sixty of her erotic stories have been published in print anthologies, and Eternal Press has released her single-author e-collection of erotic stories in various genres and flavors, Obsession (2008).
Jean is a staff reviewer for the monthly reviews site, Erotica Revealed (edited by D.L. King). She blogs on Livejournal as "Lizardlez" and at Her website ( is a work in progress.
Read Jean's full bio at Erotica Readers & Writers Association.

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'09 Movie Reviews

Blame It On Savanna
Review by Byrdman

Cry Wolf
Review by Spooky

Review by Spooky

Heaven or Hell
Review by Oranje

House of Wicked
Review by Diesel

The Office: An XXX Parody
Review by Spooky

This Ain't The Partridge Family
Review by Spooky

'09 Book Reviews


A Slip of the Lip (ebook)
Review by Jean Roberta

Best Women's Erotica '09
Review by Lisabet Sarai

Bottoms Up
Review by Ashley Lister

Enchanted Again
Review by Victoria Blisse

Review by Kathleen Bradean

Girls on Top
Review by Ashley Lister

In Sleeping Beauty’s Bed
Review by Ashley Lister

Libidacoria (Poetry)
Review by Ashley Lister

Licks & Promises
Review by Ashley Lister

Like a Thorn (ebook)
Review by Lisabet Sarai

The Mile High Club
Review by Ashley Lister

Nexus Confessions: Vol 5
Review by Victoria Blisse

Nexus Confessions 6
Review by Victoria Blisse

Oysters & Chocolate
Review by Kristina Wright

Playing with Fire
Review by Ashley Lister

Sexy Little Numbers Vol 1
Review by Ashley Lister

Up for Grabs
Review by Lisabet Sarai


A 21st Century Courtesan
Review by Donna G. Storey

The Ages of Lulu
Review by Lisabet Sarai

Amanda’s Young Men
Review by Kristina Wright

As She's Told
Review by Ashley Lister

Bedding Down
Review by Victoria Blisse

Review by Ashley Lister

Brushes & Painted Dolls
Review by Lisabet Sarai

Cassandras Chateau
Review by Ashley Lister

The Edge of Impropriety
Review by Kristina Wright

Review by Kathleen Bradean

Free Pass
Review by Ashley Lister

The Gift of Shame
Review by Victoria Blisse

Kiss It Better
Review by Ashley Lister

The Melinoe Project
Review by Lisabet Sarai

Mortal Engines & The ...
Review by Ashley Lister

The New Rakes
Review by Ashley Lister

Ninety Days of Genevieve
Review by Victoria Blisse

Obsession: An Erotic Tale
Review by Kristina Wright

Sarah's Education
Review by Ashley Lister

Seduce Me
Review by Lisabet Sarai

Lesbian Erotica

Lesbian Cowboys
Review by Kathleen Bradean

Night's Kiss
Review by Jean Roberta

Where the Girls Are
Review by Jean Roberta

Gay Erotica

Animal Attraction 2
Review by Kathleen Bradean

Boys in Heat
Review by Vincent Diamond

Review by Lisabet Sarai

The Low Road
Review by Jean Roberta

Personal Demons
Review by Jean Roberta

Ready to Serve
Review by Vincent Diamond

The Secret Tunnel
Review by Kathleen Bradean

Review by Kathleen Bradean

Review by Vincent Diamond


Best Sex Writing '09
Review by Kristina Wright

The Big Penis Book
Review by Rob Hardy

Erotic Encounters
Review by Rob Hardy

The Forbidden Apple
Review by Rob Hardy

Hollywood’s Censor
Review by Rob Hardy

Lady in Red
Review by Rob Hardy

Licentious Gotham: Erotic...
Review by Rob Hardy

Live Nude Elf
Review by Rob Hardy

Live Nude Girl
Review by Rob Hardy

The Other Side of Desire
Review by Rob Hardy

Scripts 4 Play
Review by Ashley Lister