By Ashley Lister
Fifty
Shades of Clay: A billionaire sculptor seduces an innocent young potter.
She
placed her hands against the slippery wet clay on the potter’s wheel. With
rising urgency, she moved her leg up and down to operate the pedal. The moisture on the clay ran through her
fingers as the wheel span swiftly. She found herself holding a thick, undulating
length that made her think of him. Unable to stop herself, she licked her lips.
She desperately wanted to fire his brick in her kiln.
This month’s writing exercise moves briefly
away from poetry and looks at the parody.
I have to admit, I was inspired for this exercise by something shared on
FaceBook. The piece suggested a story idea
for Fifty Shades of Whey – the tale of a vegan being seduced by the billionaire
CEO of a large cheese company.
The piece that was written beneath that
strapline was intense sexual foodplay of the variety that would earn the
instant approval of Kay Jaybee and KD Grace.
I’ve seen other variations on the notion of Fifty Shades and I wondered
if there could be a fun writing exercise in exploiting this rich vein of parody. Below, is my idea for a fun writing exercise.
Take one whimsical parody on the whole idea
of the original Fifty Shades title and then expand it with a short strapline.
Fifty
Shades of Sleigh: Santa needs a helper – naughty and nice.
Fifty
Shades of Spay: He’s an uber-successful vet and he’s going to do something
drastic to her pussy.
Fifty
Shades of Crochet: One young woman gets her hook and yarn twisted into a
beautiful new shape.
Fifty
Shades of X-Ray: She was only have been a humble radiologist, but she could see
right through him.
Once you’ve got a title and a strapline,
write a paragraph from an intense erotic scene in that story.
Fifty
Shades of Monet: She didn’t just model for him – she made an impression.
“No,”
she told him, baring her breasts and showing herself to him. “Stop painting
those damned water lilies and paint me instead.”
Her
heart was pounding as she pushed herself against him. He dropped his brush and
she could see that he had smeared a streak of blue-grey oil paint across her
torso.
“That
needs rubbing off,” he said, nodding at her stomach.
She
straddled him and said, “I thought you’d never ask.”
As always, I look forward to seeing your
work in the comments box below.
[More than a paragraph… I got a bit carried away!]
Fifty Shades of Hay – He couldn’t wait to get her on his horse
“Open your eyes, Ariana.” The myriad scents of his stables—sun-warmed grass, saddle soap, leather and manure—assaulted her already overloaded senses. She couldn’t bear to look at him, but she could no more disobey his command than suppress the thudding of her heart or the moistening between her thighs.
He brandished a coiled length of braided cowhide, a cruel grin lighting his handsome face. “You know what this is, don’t you?”
Ariana nodded, rendered mute by the seductive vision of the man who had claimed her. Designer jeans clung to his muscular thighs. His plaid shirt, half unbuttoned, offered tantalizing glimpses of his waxed and sculpted chest. A jet black lock of hair tumbled artfully down his brow, but did nothing to soften the steel in his gray eyes.
“I want to whip you, girl, until you scream and beg for mercy.” He took a step in her direction. She shrank back, her bare buttocks scraping against the rough planks. “Then I’ll fuck you, long and hard.”
Her inner goddess spun crazily in response to his deliberate crudeness.
He strode forward with characteristic confidence, closing the gap between them, until he towered over her. Heat from his lean body beat against her naked flesh. His expensive cologne drowned out the smells of horse and hay.
He trailed the whip handle along her cheek, down her neck, through the valley between her breasts to tickle her navel. “That’s what you want too, isn’t it?”
No. Yes. How could she answer such a question?
A whinny from the stall behind her broke the long silence.
“Take me,” she whispered finally, her eyes on his polished cowboy boots. She didn’t dare look at him. The fire of lust in his eyes would burn her to cinders.
Love it. And, yes, it's more than a paragraph. But doesn't that suggest there's a horsey themed idea bursting to be told?
Beautiful writing, as always 😉
Ash
I had to stop myself from continuing. I could have continued in this vein all day.
Alas, erotic romance is pretty easy to parody. In fact, one might way that it is a self-parody, in many cases!